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// The Rain Falls Twice 
// Story: My Little Writing Prompts 
// by AlicornPriest 
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Why are there no tears?

Twilight sits at the front of the crowd during the funeral. Her seat is special--a gold-lined cushion that prominently states that she is royalty, a god. To her left is Cadance, quietly sobbing for the loss of her step-aunt, and to her right is Princess Luna, grief-stricken over the death of her beloved sister.

And I, seeing my teacher cold and dead in front of me, feel nothing.

The hall is mostly quiet for the moment. Lightly, delicately, a quiet melody floats in the air. It is "The Rain Falls Twice," an old melody long-forgotten. Twilight had found it in an ancient book, written in a notation that hadn't been used in centuries, and had taught the unicorn band how to play it. The Lyrics were in Old Equestrian, but she had translated them flawlessly. That had been her contribution to the ceremony.

Is that what she would have wanted? Does it even matter?

An old earth pony hobbles his way to the front of the hall. His name is Vintage, and he is--was--Celestia's head butler. He speaks slowly; with reverence or with sadness, Twilight cannot tell. "I long believed that it would be my time to go to the Forever Home before the Princess made her way. I believed... as we all did, I think... that she would live forever."

A foolish idea. I didn't think that anypony believed in the Forever Home anymore. What evidence is there to suggest that there is anything after this life?

"We don't know why that madpony took her life. We don't know how he knew the Black Voidstone could end her existence. What we do know is that he is safe in the asylum; in time, perhaps, he will be repaired of his mental distress."

Should I want him dead? Should I hate him for taking her from me? Would a more loving student seek revenge? But what good would any of that do?

"What we do know is that she is gone, and she will never return. Time marches ever onward. We can only keep on with our lives and wait for the day when we will see her again."

Of course. That's all he's doing. Hope in the face of hopelessness. Belief in the irrational to prevent despair. Simple as that.

Vintage returns to his seat, and "The Rain Falls Twice" picks up again while the other ponies mourn. Twilight takes this moment to listen to the lyrics she translated. Sweetie Belle's voice captures the emotion of the song perfectly. "The sun is long behind the clouds/we set the rain to fall/and tears come bitter to our eyes/to brother, friend, and all."

All but me.

Princess Luna is next. She begins her speech with her balanced, royal control, but it swiftly falls apart. She sobs, "Sister, this cannot be! You can't leave me!"

Can has nothing to do with it. She did, and that is all there is to it.

Luna chokes back more tears, and continues, "You were the better of us. You were never filled with envy, rage, or evil. You never did one thing wrong."

Is that why they are sad? Because something beautiful and good is gone from the world? There must be something more than that. Something I lack.

Luna snaps. "It should have been me! When he came bounding up the stairs with the Voidstone, I should have taken your place! And when I saw you dead... I wanted to touch it as well, to go with you! I thought I couldn't live without you... I'm still not sure I can."

And how would that have helped? You couldn't bring her back. Equestria needs you, and dying would only make it worse.

Princess Luna collapses to the ground. "Sister, forgive me for that." And with that, she returns to her cushion next to Twilight.

Is that what grief requires? Some great act before everypony else to show how truly bad you feel? I can't do that. It would be too self-serving.

Even before the music starts up again, Princess Cadance is moving forward to begin her own speech. She stands before all of the other ponies and performs a motion Twilight recognizes: a hoof to the chest, then out, to calm breathing.

A performance, just like every other.

"My name is Mi Amore Cadenza, or Cadance for short. I'm not sure all of you know me. I am the princess of love, and I can sense the love in here that all of you had for my dear aunt." And then, to Twilight's shock, Cadance smiles.

Huh?

"I have lost somepony very dear to me, but I also know how much she meant to all of you, and that means she lives on, in a way. She lives on through your joy, your peace, your goodness. When I see laughing and playing out in the sun, I see my aunt smiling back at me."

I... I don't understand.

"I am sad because she is gone, but is she really? If I keep her memory close to my heart, is she dead, or is she right next to me? It's not the same, no, but that doesn't mean it is worse. I am making my peace, slowly but surely, with the idea that my auntie Celestia has become something new."

Is... Is that what grief is? Coming to terms? Have... Have I done that yet?

"There is a wound in our hearts, today and onward, but we can grow from it, bit by bit, to regain our joy. You all have so much love, more perhaps than you could match for anypony else. Keep that love, hold it close to you, and Celestia is never really gone."

Hold it close?

"Thank you." Cadance returns to her seat next to Twilight. She closes her eyes and leans in close to Twilight. "Are you ready, Twilight?"

...

"The Rain Falls Twice" starts up again, and ends. Sweetie Belle, confused, looks to Twilight. Twilight is looking straight forward, unblinking. Without any options in front of her, Sweetie simply begins the song again. It isn't until it is almost finished again that Twilight finally walks up to the front. She pauses for a moment, coughs once, and frowns.

All right. Here we go.

"They say there are five stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. When I saw Celestia fall, I know denial was quick to my mind. I sought out every other possibility in my mind before the inevitability of her death came to me. Anger, too, came quick to me. This wasn't supposed to happen; it was wrong, somehow. But after that, I jumped quickly to Acceptance. Who would I bargain with, and what good would being sad do? She was dead, and there was nothing that could be done to fix it."

Twilight pauses. "I am a pony of rationality. I look at problems logically, not emotionally. So far, nopony has seen me cry over Celestia's death. I'm not sure I ever will. One of my friends called me a monster because of that. I forgive her for that; I understand where she came from in saying that. She was upset, and I was not. But where I erred was in believing that my approach was superior to hers, to all of yours. That I was somehow better for having overcome my need to grieve.

"But, listening to all of these speeches, giving myself time to think, I realized: I haven't overcome grief at all. I've only buried it, rationalized it. I simply pretended that Celestia was gone forever, beyond my reach, and that she couldn't affect me anymore. Rather than accept that she is dead, I erased her from my heart completely. Now, if you will excuse one last delay, I want to bring her back."

Twilight turns to look at Celestia's body. She is radiantly beautiful, even in death. Though her hair no longer billows and she no longer smiles, she is still Celestia, through and through. Twilight closes her eyes and searches for her within.

There.

The memories of long ago: the first Summer Sun Celebration Twilight attended, that awe and wonder. The joy at being accepted into the Academy. The nervousness and desire to please her at party after party. The sorrow of failing her, and Celestia's sage forgiveness afterwards. In those moments, in those flickers of interaction, Celestia lives on.

"...There are many kinds of grief. There are many ways to show it. Perhaps you can't see it, but I am hurting. I am ashamed that I kept her at hoof's length for so long. I am broken because there was a report I wanted to give her that she will never hear. I am cold without her holding me close to her. Rather than dismissing those feelings away, calling them illogical, I accept them into me. I hold them close to me, because they're all I have left of her.

"Now, having done that, I must decide how to go on. Grief demands a new way of thinking. I... I will be doing what I have before. I will do my best to lead this country, to share the magic of friendship that I have gained from my friends. It may not seem like much on the outside, but on the inside, I will have devoted my life to Celestia's memory. It may not be a huge change, but to me... it is resolution. I think... I think Celestia would understand. I think she would be happy."