My Little Haiku

by q97randomguy


Good Characters Are In Here

I belong in this group.
Thanks, Fluttershy. I’m reformed.
This is so boring…
And broke the rules in line one.
 
Screwball flies around
Propeller cap on her head,
Making my head hurt.
 
Screw Loose isn’t sane.
Barking is what puppies do.
Woof woof bow wow wow.
 
Daring Do’s a grump.
She prefers to work alone.
Rainbow Dash does not.
 
Steven Magnet swims
Along in a gross river.
Magic dry mustache.
 
Wandered into town
Cranky Doodle Donkey did.
Wow, he’s really bald!
 
Matilda sadly
Could not find her life-long love
Until Pinkie helped.
 
Crackle stood around,
Staring sagely at the world.
Eight short, stumpy legs.
 
Hugh Jelly sits in
His tub, smiling, sweetened fruits
Sloshing over him.
 
Aloe and Lotus
Bid you to relax awhile
And be tended to.
 
Combining powers
Mysterious Mare-do-well
Confusing Rainbow
 
While your coat is grey,
Octavia, your music
Colors the night air.
 
Vinyl Scratch parties
Far too long. When she awakes,
Ow, hangovers suck.
 
Lyra sits oddly.
Worst of all, it’s infectious.
Lots of broken hips.
 
Bon Bon, vocalize
With some consistency, mare!
Make sweets, not voices!
 
Cheese Sandwich used his
Prodigious powers to whip
Up a huge party.
 
Doughnut Joe bakes his
Confectionary delights.
Delicious torus.
 
Iron Will, speaker
Extraordinaire, found himself
Tamed by a small “No.”
 
Dinky, little ball
Of adorableness, gives
People heart attacks.
 
Sparkler, Dinky’s sis,
Is a teen-aged unicorn.
“Mom adopted me?”
 
Derpy wrecked town hall
And spread controversy with
Just one appearance.
 
Blossomforth contorts.
Spines aren’t meant to go that way.
How’s she still alive?
 
Cloud Kicker’s the mare
You see during a dry spell.
Buck a cloud — downpour!
 
Thunderlane and bro
Rumble are adorable
Doing sibling stuff.
 
Fancy Pants is rich
Yet he doesn’t wear a stitch
On his hindquarters.
 
Trophy wife describes
Fleur dis lee quite perfectly.
That is plain to see.
 
Jet Set follows trends
Just like a socialite should
To stay relevant.
 
Photo Finish makes
Magics with her camera
Doesn’t have a horn.
 
Pumpkin and Pound Cake
Are their father’s children.
Is it Mr. Cake?
 
Intramarital
Strife. Mr. and Mrs. Cake.
Highly related.
 
Cheerilee’s got class
From eight until three PM.
Then she can relax.
 
Thith haiku ith fun.
Bet you can’t gueth whothe thith ith.
Oh, that’th right. It’th Twitht’th.
 
Pip Squeak’s coat is white
Brown, and unique. A paint horse
This foal surely is.
 
Zecora says rhymes
Many, many, many times.
Screw that; it’s too hard.
 
Carrot Top’s vision
In low light is fantastic.
Beta-carotene!
 
Maud Pie emotes little.
Expression as hard as stone
Specifically, quartz.

Tom briefly soared out
Of Twilight Sparkle’s window.
Look out! Here comes Tom!

Bloomberg — apple tree
What else can I say besides
He grew on me? –Earth

Seabreeze floats along,
Speaking Scandinavian,
Tiny, angry bug.

Granny Smith’s hip creaks
Like a rusty, old barn door.
Too bad grease won’t help.
 
Big Mac sure is strong.
Dragging a whole house along
With him while he pronks.
 
Apple Strudel’s life
Is blessed by both a mustache
And lederhosen.
 
Braeburn loves the town
Aaa-aaappeloosia more than
Any other place.
 
Little Strongheart:
Does she buffalo other
Buffalo? Who knows?
 
Chief Thunderhooves yells
“Charge!” But after pie-in-face gag
Becomes best of friends.
 
Cherry Jubilee’s
Cutie mark would be at home
On a slot machine.
 
Shining Armor stopped
Changelings with a mighty shield
Failed perception roll…
 
Cadence fills the role
Pretty pink pony princess.
Alliteration!
 
Soarin’ loves eating
Pie and sometimes Applejack
If you ask shippers.
 
Spitfire blazes
A trail of graceful smoke through
The sky like a pro.
 
Fleetfoot, Wonderbolt,
Power through the open air.
Who even are you?
 
Bulk Biceps I just
Don’t even understand your
Thrust-to-weight ratio.
 
Star Swirl the Bearded
Doesn’t ring any bells for—
Ah, that old wizard.