//------------------------------// // Please Stand By... // Story: Waking up as Rarity. // by TonydBrony //------------------------------//         The sound of shuffling hooves down the hall was like the hum of a sewing machine, the sound that caused my thoughts to drift to something to keep me away from reality. A busy mind to stave off the boredom of stitching torn cloth. For the time being, I wasn’t running for my life, no I was watching a happy scene of... Him, and Her. Their names were on the tip of my tongue. Two ponies, one ivory white, the other a lustrous gold. Where ever they were, it was autumn and a row of trees planted down the side of a pathway were barren, their leaves littering the path with various browns and reds.         “Memories are such fickle things, aren’t they?” She said to him, smiling as leaves crunched under her hooves. “Sometimes you don’t remember every detail... And make things up to fill in the blanks.”         And it’s true. A quick panning glance around the area showed the unmistakable Ponyville fairgrounds in the ebbing reaches of winter. It was cold, and plumes of steamy breath sailed on behind the two ponies as they continued on. No stalls or vendors were selling their wares, as there were none in sight to begin with. I could only recall so much of the surrounding traffic filled area, in fact, I couldn’t even remember the ponies who passed through here on a regular basis, even though they were a part of my daily routine, no matter the season...           He nodded and stopped to catch a falling stark-red leaf on his golden hoof. “I like it. I’ll never get to go to Ponyville personally, but this is second best.” His smile, genuine, and the happiness of his features glowed with an undeniable sense of elation - one that I felt rise up in my chest the more I looked at him. How he felt, the needles of excitement that pinned over him for every little thing he passed. He blew the leaf off his hoof, letting it drift away into a bank of slowly piling leaves. The placid sense of safety was something I truly envied, and seeing him so happy with her made me jealous... Of myself...         She... What is her name? Why can’t I remember? The pressing pain of biting my lower lip in frustration pulled across my consciousness as I dug further into a pool of mixed memories in hopes of finding something out that I should already know.         “It’s Rarity.”         “And Tony, don’t forget me!”          Their voices, and their names now clear in my mind, smacked me into the sudden revelation that they- No, Rarity and Tony were talking ME! It was already a strong out of body experience, given I was watching them from a disembodied point of view, but watching them turn towards my... No, I can’t say I had a body. I knew I was just trotting behind a group of ponies with my eyes closed... But...                  “It’s Rarity...”         Voices pierced my daydream, but I was hardly paying attention. All I heard was, “Guards, tail, and-         “Rarity!?”         I opened my eyes with a gasp and a blur of orange nearly tackled me over with two fuzzy lengths of warmth wrapping around my neck. I could hardly breathe, with my throat tightening as I pushed the weight of daydreaming away. As I did so, I felt my lips curl into a smile and my eyes start to water.         I raised my hooves around the familiar shape of a pony I knew as Applejack. Her eyes beamed with excitement, the same excitement and thrill of knowing somepony close to her was alive and near. Applejack’s face had turned a tad bleary as I held onto her tightly for a moment. I wanted to stay there, hugging my dear friend for the rest of time, but knowing the pressing situation at hoof, I let go, and my lips were on auto-pilot, speaking without my consent:         “Hello, darling! It’s been ages, it really has. But we will have to catch up after we get out of this terribly unbalanced situation.” Even though my mind had drifted, the magical aura tightly holding the shield I had nicked earlier hadn’t faltered, and I raised it to the head of the group, with the commotion of heavy, and unrecognized foot falls trampling down the hall.         With more focus put into the situation I had realized our escort, Stephanie Chase, was on her back, on the floor and now drawing a gun off her hip I hadn’t noticed before. She rose, the pistol in one hand, and her left out flat, palm towards the floor. Her face tightened, and her brow knitted. “Down!” She commanded as the foot falls became louder. I disregarded the command and pushed through the crowd of ex-prisoner ponies and hoisted my shield to stop the possibility of gunfire tearing through us. What came next was a little less frightful. Turning the corner was a human, lanky, and nearly tripping over himself as he ran. To be as professional as possible, I took in stride that he appeared ‘civilian’, over the expected rag-tag military. However, this was not all that entailed with this encounter. Following closely, on his heels was a sight that nearly made my jaw drop. The face I’ve known as kindness skidded around the corner with an expression of panic laced onto her face. A butter-color coated pegasus with a long pink mane that made my heart skip a beat seeing: Fluttershy. I was on the verge of saying some smart greeting about reunions and whatnot, but I knew now wasn’t a good time. A few greetings were shortly exchanged, but nothing worth noting, since I had jerked to attention, finally realizing they were being chased. Wanting to hurt my friends. Not on my watch. The pursuers’ squeaking boots gave them away as they started to turn the corner. Then the first man chasing them rounded the corner and fell. I hate to describe the following as so, but the magnificent spray of blood that erupted from the man’s chest was... Almost poetic. However, knowing there was little chance of him surviving a shot like that, made my heart drop like a rock. The second man who turned the corner suffered the same fate, collapsing over his brother-in-arm. The third jerked back and the third shot dug into the concrete wall. The echo from the gunshots hurt. My ears were ringing again, and to be honest, I was getting sick of guns. As a teenaged lad I thought guns were the most fascinating thing to ever be brought into my little world, but now, I don’t want to see another gun for the rest of my life... In fact, no amount of therapy will ever make this okay again. The third gunman had slipped behind the corner, and Stephanie’s mouth was moving... After a few seconds of ringing, her voice came back into clarity. “...nverging on the premises as we speak. Put down your weapons, surrender, and you will remain unharmed.” “Oh, now  you negotiate,” Applejack said sarcastically, huddled behind the shield I had propped up for our protection. “Fuck you lady!” A gruff voice yelled, obviously the shooter’s. A rifle appeared around the corner and fired off three bullets, which hit the floor, the ceiling and the wall. The enclosed space left my ears ringing, again. Silence fell. Then, a very, very quiet voice said, “Gimme your clip.” “What? No! I only got two bullets!” whispered another. Stephanie’s face of concentration faltered for a moment as if she were struggling not to facepalm. Even I found the situation... In some way or another, a bit funny. “Come on, I got close.” The men on the ground groaned in more pain. Stephanie looked at Applejack and jerked her head. “Screw you! Look at Dan and Dave!” Stephanie threw a glance towards Applejack and she looked a little more than worried. She starting backing up and looked towards me and nodded. Whatever we were doing, we weren’t going towards the angry men with guns. “Come on y’all,” she whispered. “Real quiet like. Follow me.” AJ whispered, passing a few concerned glances towards the herd of ponies, including myself. “You’re both idiots, I’m calling backup.” Stephanie proclaimed, her stance in holding her pistol that I could almost name... It starts with a ‘W’, but I can’t quite recall what it’s called. Stephanie fired two more shots at the corner. “Surrender now!” she said, making a shooing motion at the ponies behind her. “Judges tend to look fairly on men who don’t open fire on federal agents, you know.” Applejack motioned for Fluttershy and the lanky doctor-looking fellow to join us... Even so, I didn’t like the look of him. AJ cast one last worried look at Stephanie then motioned with her head, creeping as quietly as she could. “You’re no federal agent!” The guard’s supposed leader yelled. “And where did you figure that one out?” Stephanie retorted. “You think I wear bulletproof vests with CIA stenciled on them for fun?” Applejack began creeping along, leaving Stephanie behind as we started a slow, quiet alternative route for escape. “Plus, you have two men down. I’m a good shot, but I’m conserving ammo. If someone doesn’t help them soon, they’re going to die very painfully. You want that on your heads?” I couldn’t hear much else as we went further down the hall, but my heart went out to Stephanie. I’d only knew her for a few moments, but by a greater force’s will, I hope she’s going to be okay... v^v^v^v As little as I like to admit it, the simplest way for me to put this is... We ran away and let our local CIA agent handle the tough stuff behind us. I hadn’t even had a moment to give Fluttershy a wave, or a ‘Good evening, daahling’ when I saw her. No, she had joined Applejack and the pharmacistwhateverguy at the front. I opted again to cover the rear of the group, holding the shield of mine up defiantly to imaginary ( and possibly real. given enough time) gunfire. Nonetheless, we crept along, almost soundlessly. I could hear the inhale and exhale of Applejack’s forced calm breathing, and the soft clip-clop of hooves against tile. This was no longer therapeutic in any sense. No, the dull drumming only sharpened my focus like a well cared for machete... Now I wish I didn’t know what that was like. The progress was slow, and everyone kept waiting for an alarm to sound, but none did. They eventually got within sight of the facility’s entrance, where AJ halted the group fifty yards from the main door. “Okay,” she said, turning to face the group, her voice low. “Things’re about to get extra strength hairy here. How’re we holding up?” “I’m okay, most of our ponies here seem okay too, only one needs medical attention urgently and she is being carried,” ‘Shy whispered, looking more determined than anything else, despite the death they had just left behind. “Well, I could go for a snack, dear. Or a full spa day. Are there more government agents outside?” I began to shift from leg to leg, hoping this nightmare would be over soon enough that I wouldn’t need to be on my metaphorical toes to stay alive. Even the low biting growl of hunger nipped my nerves, but now wasn’t the time for food... Mmm, pineapple-jalapeno pizza would be great right about now. Applejack looked from the ponies, then back to the sole human who was accompanying us. “We got a guy out there. He’s, um, he’s keepin’ an eye on your sister while waitin’ for the the cavalry.” AJ looked back to the door. “But we only gotta get past three more guards if we’re gonna get out of here.” A small smile slipped over my lips at knowing my sister was safe and (hopefully) well. “And I got an idea how to get past the first door.” Beckoning the four to her she said, “This is gonna be a trick and we’ll have to be ready. Nate, we’re gonna need yer jacket...” v^v^v^v This is never going to work. For the love of Celestia, please don’t do this! I’m begging you! You’ll get shot and I’ll never see your eyes filled with life and happiness ever again! Please, Applejack, I’m begging you! I was practically shaking with fear now, with my heart beating out of my chest! AJ began trotting down another hall with her gaze straight ahead Her face was dumbstruck with faux idiocy. Her plan, to play dumb to trick the guard... And bring him back here for an ambush. “Moo.” I heard her blurt, presumably staring into the eyes of a guard with her dumbstruck expression. “The hell?” “Moo.” The guard, he sounded young, snorted and uttered a laugh. “Oh yeah. Right. You’re with…” He swallowed. “Yeah. Yeah. Looks like she lost her pet. Serves her right. She fucked up my gun. You know that? Did some... thing to it and B-ri ain’t giving me a new one. How fucked up is that?” “Moo,” AJ replied. “Alright retard horse. Let’s just throw you in prison and if… If that… Lady comes back, she’ll have to get you out herself.” He snorted again. “Like to see her try. Mess her up.” By the gentle clink of something being grabbed, metal was my guess, was that Applejack had been grabbed by her Element of Honesty, and was being dragged towards us... “Heh. Y’know. You remind me of my dog back home. He was alright. Miss ‘im, but y’know. Got called. Gotta do the right thing.” “Moo,” RJ said. As the guard came to the corner, RJ listed to the side and he glanced down, which meant he missed seeing Nate, the doctor who I was yet to be acquainted with, who threw his coat right over the guard’s face.         “Hey!” AJ dropped, sweeping her hind across his, and he hit the floor expelling air. Before the guard could get his wind back, Applejack twisted and dropped her forehead, headbutting him hard. He grunted, shuddered and slumped. “Sorry, kid. Can’t have you raisin’ an alarm. Rarity, can you pull his belt? I gotta tie him up before he wakes.” I had been distracted, staring at the kid’s greasy, pimpled face as he lay unconscious on the floor. I glanced towards AJ and gave a little nod, having realized I was needed again. I made short work of undoing the boy’s belt and passing it to AJ to restrain him. She was right, the fewer variables that could impede our escape, the better. “Nate, he’s got keys on one side and a radio on the other,” AJ said. Before anyone could act, a squawk came from Greasy’s radio. “Jimmy? You there? I heard a noise,” came an unfamiliar voice. This is NOT what we need right now! AJ’s expression tightened and she picked up the walkie talkie. She looked at us, as if contemplating handing the walkie-talkie over to us to improvise a voice to trick the man on the other line... And I knew she wouldn’t pass it to myself, nor Fluttershy. As much as I’d love to say I have a testosterone edge, that’d be a bold faced lie. I knew one half of me, if he were still here and whole could pull it off with ease, but that’s not how things tend to play out... And Fluttershy? I don’t know what she’s been through, but her soft, delicate voice wouldn’t do the trick. “Uh… everything’s fine,” AJ said, clutching the radio in her fetlock, depressing the button. She struggled to flatten out her accent and pitch her voice to match Greasy Jimmy. It would take a miracle for this to work... “I just, uh, fell over.” She scrunched her eyes. “Fell? Jimmy are you high or something?” “Nope! No. I’m fine. I’m... all fine here now.” She glanced at Erishy and shrugged. “Uh, motherfucker.” “Kid, I’m coming over there.” AJ beat her head with the walkie talkie. “No! No need to do that! Seriously, I’m fine. Fucking fine. Just took a tumble is all.” AJ closed her eyes, and the way she pressed her jaw, she may as well have been betting on the losing side of a horse race. “Wait. Who’s this? You ain’t Jimmy!” RJ clicked off the walkie talkie. “Dammit.” Looking up at her friends, she cracked a smile. “Boring conversation anyway. Looks like we’re gonna have company.” Facing the herd, she tossed Fluttershy the walkie talkie. “Shy, keep an eye on that sick pony and an ear on that radio. You hear folk comin, you let us know.” She pointed at the doctor. “Nate, I need you to hold the back of the herd, make sure we don’t lose anypony. Y’all mind the doc here. He’s tryin’ to help.” Turning to me, she gestured with her head. “Rarity, you’re up front with me.” “Gladly.” I said, giving a unladylike crack of my neck and trotted forward. ‘Shy caught the radio, before sighing. "Wait. I... I once worked in a firearm manufacturing company.” Pointing with her head, she indicated the handgun jammed in Jimmy’s waistband. “I know how to fix his pistol. As much as I hate the idea of shooting more people, at the very least we can use it to convince them we are armed." Everyone went quiet for a moment. "Fluttershy fixing guns, I believe I have heard it all. But any plan that gets me back to Sweetie Belle is a good plan." I said, breaking the tension and stood beside RJ. AJ looked at Fluttershy steadily, her face blank. She closed her eyes and shook her head. Even if she could get it working, I don’t think I’d have the heart to see another person get hurt like that. “If you can be quick about it, go for it,” she said, quietly. “But don’t load it.” She started looking around for a closet to stow away Jimmy. She paused, then she glanced back at Fluttershy. “Please.” Erishy nodded, her eyes pinched at the edges with concern. AJ nodded her thanks and resumed looking around. A ‘Shy removed the gun from Jimmy’s waistband, AJ found a door not too far down the hall that smelled faintly of cleaning supplies.. “Alright, Jimmy, let’s get you where you won’t make a fuss,” RJ said. Biting down on Jimmy’s shirt collar, she looked at me. “Give ush a hoof here, Rares?” she asked, gesturing to the side door. “Why of course, Applejack. Not like I haven’t done this before,” I said, trying to spark some crude attempt at a joke. If appropriate, I’m sure the cricket orchestra would’ve been booked full. It was surprisingly easy to drag the kid into the closet and prop him up against a mop bucket, to be completely honest. I was glad we did it in a timely manner, because Jimmy’s eyes began to open, and I did the only reasonable thing I could think of: Stuff a dirty cleaning rag in his mouth before he could utter a word. He, of course, have an indignant grunt in return. “Oh shush. You brought this upon yourself, pizza-face.” AJ smiled appreciatively as she kicked the closet shut. “Good thinkin’. Mind openin’ the lock for me? I’ll take a peek and we can go from there.” With the keys held at neck-height in a magic aura, I trotted up to the main door. With a curious glance, I checked over my shoulder to see Fluttershy looking at the cleared handgun. She looked like she was shaking, and looked up at the doctor. Looking back to the door, I quietly slid the key in the slot and twisted it, opening it up just so slightly, just enough room to get a look-through. “No offense, Doc, but I’d like Rarity carrying our bluff gun. I’d rather have you focused more on this herd, keepin’ them safe with ‘Shy. I’m trusting you on this.” She tilted her head, making her look more earnest. “Don’t let me down, you hear?” “All...alright,” Nate responded, turning back to look over the others. “This is really scary,” somepony murmured. “I just wanna get back to my brother,” said another. “Lemme know when you’re ready, ‘Shy,” AJ said, patting her friend on the back reassuringly. Applejack met me at the door and I clenched my teeth. I wanted to voice my objection to be the one with the pistol, but... Again, necessity over comfort, and they were counting on me. “Mighty glad to see you again Rares,” AJ said, peeking out, looking through the partially open door. Pulling her head back in, she thought about how to word what she wanted to say next. “I know your sister will be too. And, um, just a heads up- she’s goin’ by May Belle now and she’s… kinda, sorta... picked up a bit of a mouth. From her human.” I couldn’t stop myself from loosing a laugh, trying not to be too loud about it. “Really? Well fuck, our parents are going to be furious with us both if this keeps up. It will be delightful to see her again, though. I’ve been worried she would be sucked up into this insanity.” Applejack stared at me with an obvious, and this time real, expression of dumbstrickedness, and bit her lip. From what I could tell, she looked like she might bawl over laughing at any point. “Dear diary, today I heard Rarity say ‘fuck.’ It was the best day ever because I expected pigs to start flyin’ right after,” she said, shaking her head. I gave a smile and looked back to our improv-repairpony, Fluttershy who had been moving small parts in the slide of the pistol and other things I don’t quite understand. She looked up to me and nodded, the gun resting on her hoof with a magazine, which lay on her outstretched hoof. It lifted away from her hoof in my aura, solidly pulling away from her and toward me. I don’t know if I can do this... The gun now floated only a foot or so from me and I felt the part of me that Tony gave me punch into the foreground of my nervous wreck of a mindset. “Well, it looks good.” I said, sliding the magazine into the handle of the gun, but I didn’t yet chamber a round yet. I didn’t want to hurt anyone if I didn’t have to. A little courage and bluffing is all I hoped I needed. “That’s all it has to do,” AJ replied. “Look good.” After taking one last peek, she faced us the doctor and the herd. “Alright y’all. We’re almost clear. Just got two more yahoos to get by and then we’re a five minute walk to help. Rarity and I will handle any… problems, so you have to mind ‘Shy and Nate here. They’re gonna get you to safety if this goes south. And safety is outside, straight to the road, turn right. Outside, to the road, right. Get me?” She tried to meet as many eyes as she could with her own. “Alright then. We’re gonna get you out of here.” RJ flashed her smile. It was reassuring and steady, much like the pony who used it. “That’s an Applejack Promise.” AJ faced forward, opened the door, and I followed closely by her side. Down the hall, the stench of nicotine and all the other toxins in cigarettes pushed into the air. I hated it, and saw the source of the stench: A woman whom sat lackadaisically in a chair with a shotgun resting in her lap. She looked half asleep, but with a gun like that in her possession, I wasn’t going to take any chances. AJ leaned over and gave me a stern look. “Against her head,” she motioned to her own temple and nodded. I nodded and moved quietly, until I brushed the barrel of the gun right up against the side of the side of the woman’s head. She froze, her eyes nearly popping out of her head as AJ trotted into view. “Howdy,” she said. “Drop the shotgun.” She sneered down at AJ, her body still. “Knew you were fakin’, you fuckin’ freak.” “Congrats on your Sherlockian levels of perception. Put the gun down.” She visually tightened her grip and a slight smirk came to her. Her knuckles, almost white around the wooden stock of the gun. “You won’t do it. You’re weak.” AJ sighed. “You know, you’re right. I am weak, but that pony right there? She really didn’t want to be here and hasn’t had the greatest day.” Her eyes drifted to me, and it wasn’t very hard to see I wasn’t having a very nice day. I narrowed my brow and bared my teeth. “Don’t think for one second I won’t pop you one in the damn head,” I whispered, just quiet enough for AJ not to hear, but I knew the guardswoman heard it. Oh I know it. The look on her face visibly got knocked down a peg. “So, while I’d be fine with knockin’ ya out, she may want to get her revenge and lemme tell ya, ya ain’t known revenge till Rarity Belle takes it out of your hide.” She glanced from myself, back to AJ, and to be completely honest, I few the magic grip around the pistol tighten for just a moment... As if I were okay with shooting the woman... “Put down the shotgun please and step back.” Her face twisted in rage, but she complied, placing her weapon on the ground and moving away from it. “Thank you,” AJ said. Keeping her eyes on the woman, she lifted her head slightly. “Nate? Need you to do the hands thing and unload this.” Nate glanced at his charges, but stepped forward to the shotgun and the woman’s mask of rage spiked. “So you’re the traitor!” she spat. “It’s just like I said. Just like I kept telling everybody: you can’t trust no goddamned pointy-headed Jews.” She leaned toward Nate, seething. “So what part of the world did the ponies promise you, Jew-boy? Did you get your 30 pieces of silver for selling out the human race?!”         Through my teeth, I hissed, “Shut the hell up,” quietly, not wanting anyone to hear me...          Nate made sure that he had finished his assigned task before deigning to answer his challenger. “Have you even seen a Jew in your life, you microencephalitic moron? My faith is none of your business, and I’m probably far more Aryan than you if descent mattered for anything, which it does not. But apparently having dark hair, an aversion to violence and an interest in knowledge its own sake is enough now to qualify me for the Synagogue.” He leaned forward. “And I’ll let you in on a secret: if the ponies did want to take over the world, with their numbers and powers, they would have done it already.” The woman’s response to this statement was to lunge at Nate before AJ or myself could react. Without a second later, a loud crack was produced and the butt of the shotgun was jammed against the woman’s face. RJ and myself dogpiled onto the woman, pinning her. I hate to say this, but I did hit her in the kidneys once we got her down, to keep her from retaliating again and doing something even worse. “You damned atheist!” Elle muffled scream emerged from the pile. “They’ll destroy everything!” Nate withdrew to the opposite wall, gun dragged blindly behind him. “Well,” he said, “at least you’ve got the faith right this time. And on an abstract level, every generation destroys the world they have inherited, if only to build a different world in its place.” Fluttershy, now pronouncing herself as a valid and competent variable in the situation looked from Nate, who’s face was now dripping with crimson with a handkerchief pressed against the wound, then back to our pinned attacker. “Excuse me, miss. I would just like to point out that we've never said we wanted to destroy anything.” She frowns, a bit of anger coming back. “In fact, I have yet to see or hear of a pony attacking or hurting a human in the entire world, except for when captured or attacked. Tell me, is there any point to us leaving you conscious? Do you have anything to offer us but hate and ignorance?” “Don’t you get it?!” She screamed, fairly frothing at the mouth. “Every human you damned ponies touches turns into a pony, gives up everything that make them human! Soon, there won’t be no humanity, just cutesy pastel freaks!” Chest heaving she glared defiantly at the shocked, gathered group. “Just ponify me. Quit fucking around and make me disappear,” she snarled. Fluttershy shook her head before turning away. “We’ve never turned anyone into a pony on purpose.” Looking back to myself and AJ, she said, “Let’s knock her out, AJ... She will just come after us otherwise. This way she can at least be far away.” We stared down at the woman and I glanced at AJ. I personally had no objection, and would gladly shut her up if to keep anyone else from being hurt. “No arguments here. Sleep tight, ya moron.” She dropped her skull again and the guardswoman jerked at the impact, slumping into stunned unconsciousness. AJ shook her head a little. “Woo. I’ll have to thank Big Mac for showin’ me that trick. Never thought I’d have to use it so much.” Shouting came from behind us. We turned. “Run,” AJ said. Everyone remained still, the sudden command stunning everyone in their place. “Run!” The herd spurred to action, with the doctor nearly slipping over himself to keep up. “Shy with them!” AJ barked. “Rares, get the keys to the door!” AJ then grabbed the woman’s collar in her teeth and dragged her towards the shouting coming out of the bunker. AJ got back to the main door and tensed her neck. Hauling hard, she tossed the unconscious guard into the corridor. She stood at the door, looking into the hallway. I waited just behind her, keys in my magic as AJ stared expectantly down the hall. “C’mon Steph. C’mon. I don’t wanna do this without-” And there was Stephanie, running full tilt toward us. Blood drenched her left arm. “C’mon!” AJ yelled. Stephanie smiled grimly and pushed faster. Then they appeared. Men and women in black and camo and all bearing weapons. They filled the hallway. They were a mass of danger. They were coming right for us, and I held my breath. One in the mass fired and a bullet went wide. A shot ricocheted somewhere behind us, but the next one that rang out split by my face and caught AJ’s ear. I nearly screamed in horror. Stephanie ran and vaulted right over us, skidding to a hault some feet behind us. AJ looked frantically at me. “Key, Rarity! Key!” I quickly jammed the key in the lock and snapped it shut. My magic aura flared brightly as I twisted and broke the key off. “Ooopsie!” I said. “I guess I don’t know my own strength.” I shared a wicked smile with AJ, before we ran to catch up to Stephanie. “Sorry… I’m late,” she panted. “Better late than never,” AJ said. “Let’s go. That door won’t hold ‘em forever.” Stephanie nodded and we followed after the herd, the sounds of violence beating against the door behind us. As we gained ground towards our escape, I saw Fluttershy helping the others along the hallway, but stopped abruptly when a voice on the radio crackled to life. “What is going on up there?!” the voice yells.  “The ponies are headed for the basement, protect the records!” She said in the deepest, almost Flutterguy voice I had ever heard.         She waved to us, motioning us to our nearing victory against these assholes. “Let’s go! I’m not leaving unless you are all coming as well!” She looked back at the rest of the herd as we neared the entrance. “That’s the plan!” AJ responded as she caught up with the rest of us, with Stephanie trailing right behind her. “They can’t be headed to the basement- we just saw a bunch head outside!” chattered the radio. “I got nobody up here,” came yet another unfamiliar voice. Then everyone started shouting over everyone else, garbling any communication further. “Guy on the door leading out,” AJ said, moving to flank the herd. “Rares, and... whoever has that shotgun, get ready to look like action ponies.” Despite knowing I might have to hurt someone... I couldn’t help but think about something I read not even two weeks ago. Ponies with guns in an apocalyptic wasteland. Damn, now I even felt like a heroine who doesn’t play by anyone’s rules, what with a gun and the sneaking suspicion of having to use it. We came upon him soon enough. He blinked at the sudden arrival of ponies and two humans, but before he move, my pistol and a shotgun floated up to his line of sight. A pony who had commandeered the shotgun held up the weapon and looked like he might just pull the trigger for fun. My handgun moved in a blue-green aura till the barrel pressed against the door-man’s nose. I daintily trotted up to him and smiled a kind, gentle smile. “Don’t move, asshole.” He stayed very still, his eyes going cross-eyed to stare down the barrel of death stuffed into his personal bubble. AJ started waving ponies through the door. “Stephanie, get up front! We need you leading the way!” Once the last pony was through, AJ stood next to me, with Fluttershy now moving up to my left side. “On your knees,” AJ said. The door-man, his eyes very focused on the gun, obliged. “Rares, you can move it.” I took the gun from his nose and the man looked visually relaxed “Howdy,” Applejack said... And rammed her head forward, knocking him over and out. AJ rubbed at her forehead. “I keep this up, I’m gonna grow a horn of my own,” she muttered. I stifled a little giggle and shook my head. I could’ve clocked him on the head, but AJ’s several headbuttings seemed to be working just fine. Tilting her head toward the door, she lead the last three out, where Stephanie waited with the herd... and finally, sunshine flooded my eyes and warmth spread over my face. Freedom! “Made it-?” one pony said. “Dude, trees!” another pony exclaimed. “-the scariest thing ever!” said another. “Where you been young lady?” AJ called to Stephanie with a good natured jeering in her voice. “Got held up. That everypony?” “We’re clear. Let’s roll.” “NO!” came a shout. As we assembled, we turned almost in perfect unison to a tall, huffing man holding a rifle in his arms with it pointed towards us. “Nobody’s going anywhere,” he growled. RJ moved so she was between the herd and his line of sight, with me taking her side. Fluttershy was on her other, and something told me she was whimpering. “How’d you get out?” AJ asked, her voice even, her gaze locked on him. “Back door. This place is lousy with ‘em,” he replied. “Now. Put down the guns and we’re all going back inside.”          AJ turned her head, but kept her eyes on the man. “Do as he says.” As much as I wanted to oblige and put an end to the need of firearms, I wanted to raise my gun in defiance... And shoot the bastard in the leg. Drop down to our level... But with the number of armed people behind him, the only thing I’d accomplish would be getting everyone killed... So, I dropped the gun in the dirt, and the unicorn sporting the shotgun did the same. “Okay, good,” The lunatic said, his tone lightening. “Now, everyone is going to march back inside, and we’re going to lock all the ponies up, and deal with the agent and the doctor.” The herd waited. We stood our ground. The silence stretched out. “I’m not going to say it again,” He said, his voice going hard. We kept at a stand-still, glaring into his merciless eyes. There was a murmur in the herd and someone said quietly, “Hey does anypony else hear that?” The PAPA leader sighted on the cowpony, cocked his rifle, and the roar of a helicopter’s blades echoed all around. A spotlight shone down from on high, briefly blinding him and his men. “Aaah!” he yelped. “Put down your weapons!” came a loud, firm voice. Everyone turned and exiting the brush was another agent clad in special forces gear with a familiar white filly riding on his shoulders. Behind them came a whole squad of men in tactical gear. Their vests all read FBI in bright yellow letters. The helicopter’s engine growled from above, keeping the spot on the PAPA troops. “FBI!” “Freeze!” “Don’t move!” “Well well well,” Sweetiebelle said, grinning ear to ear. “Looks like we arrived just in the nick of time, eh, Al?” “Looks like,” the agent, ‘Al’, said, training his weapon on the psycho with the gun pointed at AJ. “What’s that make us?”  Sweetiebelle piped up in the high pitched voice that flooded me with sweet, sisterly memories. Al smiled. “Big damn heroes.” v^v^v^v         With the premises surrounded by an FBI tactical squad, I considered this our “Check, and mate” win we’d been waiting for. The commander, who was identified at ‘Davis’ was taken into custody and an EMT had arrived on the scene to take care of the ponies and people who had been injured.         Sweetiebelle- or should I say May Belle, threw her hooves around my neck and buried her face in my chest. Knowing she was safe was a lead weight off my shoulders, and knowing doubly well she was with me put me at a level of peace I could only describe as sweetie-induced happiness.         With another vault now cleared, and with the help of the FBI and countless EMTs, I felt as though everything was finally going to be okay... Finally.