//------------------------------//
// A Random Slice of Life Pie 
// Story: The Sunshine Chronicles 
// by TwilightUCrazy 
//------------------------------//

It was just after four in the morning when Rainbow Dash sensed that Applejack was missing from her sheltering embrace. She glimpsed at the clock to be sure of the time and groaned, rubbing her tired eyes. It was early, even for the farmgirl who liked to be up before the break of dawn, and that was generally cause for suspicion. 

Given the rough day the pair had had, Rainbow’d expected even her work-a-day mate to remain bedded a few hours after daybreak the next morning.

Flashbacks of Applejack vomiting in the flower bed mere days ago came to her attention. She winced at the thought of being charged with hosing it out again the next morning… and trying to come with an excuse for why she couldn’t.

Big Mac was simple. He wasn’t stupid.

Pulling herself out of the messed-up covers – seriously, why couldn’t Applejack keep them neat and save her the trouble of re-making the bed everyday? – Rainbow leapt to the floor and followed the lingering scent of expensive perfume to the stairs.

She followed the smell down to the kitchen, where a refrigerator light illuminated the room, half the contents of the ice box, and the silhouette of her gorging wife.

Applejack blinked up at her with what appeared to be a giant spoon of vanilla ice cream wedged in her mouth.

The two looked at each other.

Rainbow smirked.

Her mate scowled and pulled the spoon out of her mouth.

“Don’t you fay a fing…” she growled with a mouth full of food. Dipping the giant spoon into the carton of ice cream, she took an aggressively-insistent bite of the dessert, the size of which likely could have choked Big Mac if he weren’t careful.

Rainbow did as she was told and crossed the room quietly, plopping down right next to her. Applejack took another large angry chomp of ice cream, before producing a fork weighed down by a large bite of apple pie.

The farmpony watched her as a wolf watched a coyote, as though she though she were eager to steal her hard-earned meal from her.

She finally finished with her current bite and looked at her. “What’re you doin’ up?”

Rainbow Dash grinned wickedly. “I was just coming down to see if there was anything left for a midnight snack.”

She received a sharp, dangerous glare, and quickly raised her hooves defensively. A nervous chuckle squeaked out of her.

“Well, har-dee-har…” the farmgirl muttered, taking another large bite of ice cream and discarding the empty carton. She turned on the remains of the apple pie next. “If ya want somethin’, speak up. I can’t get enough right now…”

The pegasus shrugged. “Nah, I’m good.”

The two sat together in mutual silence.

Rainbow simply watched her wife eat and eat and eat, with no ending in sight. A few times she thought of a wisecrack, but every bite the earth pony took shook loose images in her head of those same, voracious teeth clamping down on her leg or a wing, and introducing her to a world pain.

Apparently, Applejack had anticipated such smartassery and looked at her suspiciously out of the corner of her eye.

“You got fomfin’ you wanna fay?” she asked, showering Rainbow’s face with particles of apple pie. Probably did it on purpose too.

Rainbow grinned, causing her wife’s eyes to narrow expectingly.

“You know something,” she said, winking, “you’re really pretty in the light of the refrigerator, stuffing your face.”

The tension was on a knife’s edge. Applejack’s twitchy expression was a mix between wanting to knock her over the head for the backhoofed compliment, or not bother wasting the effort.

The farmpony turned back to her pie after a few seconds.


“Go suck a sow…”

Rainbow laughed and threw her hooves around the earth pony’s neck, pulling her closer, receiving a frustrated growl for her efforts. She was pulling a feeding wolf off its kill, after all.

“So, got anything else I could nibble on?” she asked, waggling her eyebrows flirtatiously.

In reply, a half-eaten plate of fritters was slid in front of her blinking eyes.

“Knock yerself out,” Applejack said with a devilish smirk.

Rainbow pouted disappointedly. “That’s not exactly what I had in mind…”

“I know exactly what you had in mind,” the farmpony snorted. A smile crept on her face. “One-track mind, sugarcube. Remember?”

Rainbow nuzzled into her wife’s mane as another big bite of apple pie disappeared down her gullet. “Yeah, but, uhh… I was thinking more about my achy-breaky body… my back still hurts something awful y’know.” 

Her wife leaned back and looked at her with a quirked eyebrow.

She flashed a smile of her own. “Loyalty, baby. I’d take an arrow to the knee for ya.”

“Aww, poor thing,” Applejack cooed with a sly grin. “Does you gots a boo-boo?”

Rainbow’s ears wilted. “Yeah… a boo-boo. And it could use a little attention… if ya know what I mean.”

Her mate snaked her forehoof over her withers and pressed the fork against her lips, feeding her a dry, crusty bite of the apple pie. “Reckon I could be persuaded to help ya out with that if’n you were willin’ to make a concession…”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” the farmgirl said with a smirk. “Go up ‘n get me a chunk ‘o cloud and make me some of that fancy pegasus whipped cream.”

The pegasus’s eager expression one-eighty’d in half a second.

“But… the closest clouds? I mean… it’s just so far… and you like Granny’s pies enough without whipped cream, right?” she asked, biting her lip.

“The whipped cream weren’t for this pie, sugarcube…”

“…Oh.”

Silence.

Rainbow’s eyes stared deep into Applejack’s half-lidded gaze, the barest hint of a smile on her mate’s lips.

“OH!”

A feather shook loose and several items in the fridge clattered noisily behind the pegasus.

Applejack smirked. “It’ll be worth yer while – I promise.”

“Saynomore! Roger! Ayema’am! Ten-four! And altogether yes!” Rainbow answered, turning into a multihued blur, clumsily knocking over a jar and sending pie servers, ladles, and other kitchen utensils to the floor.

“I’ll clean that up!” Applejack heard her wife shout from outside.

She turned her attention to the kitchen window where she watched a dimly-illuminated Rainbow struggle awkwardly into the air on stiff wings, and was gone, headed east and skyward.

“Huh…” the farmgirl huh’d, quirking her brow, then continuing her feast. 

If only it was that easy to get ‘er to help with apple-buckin’…