Celestia Doesn't Sweat The Small Stuff

by gchamp89


"Why the F- did I just say that?"

After a nice breakfast with Luna and Fakelight...snicker. Luna departed to attend to the royal duties for the day. Which left me and Fakelight here all alone.

My "stay-cation" basically means that I am officially off duty while Luna will run the day-to-day affairs for the next week. I made it very clear to my staff that unless the world is ending, I was not to be disturbed.

So basically I could bang Twilight all day and not have to worry about being disturbed. Sweet.

But unfortunately this isn't Twilight, but the impostor. So what to do?

First, I need to check on something. I turn to Fakelight, "We had some new materials come into the library since your last visit. Why don't you wait for me there and I'll catch up." Fakelight perked up instantly, "Really!?!? I hope they have Prof. Calypso's new dissertation on modern magical mechanics!" She makes the cutest 'sqee' face and teleports out of here.

I smile, "Some things never change. Alright time to check in on Spike and Twilight."

I close my eyes and use my magic to form a link to Spike.

Spike, like everypony knows, can send messages to me through his dragonfire. What ponies don't know, not even Twilight, is that I can form a link to Spike's mind and speak to him telepathically. It's sort of an emergency last-resort communication line that allows me to communicate with Spike without using his fire. I established it with Spike sometime after Twilight moved to Ponyville. I only use it for the occasional update direct from Spike and in case of emergencies. Like when Discord got loose and I contacted Spike for a situation update. That's how I knew sending those friendship reports back to Twilight would help her get back on track.

Though he was a bit upset with me when I sent them all at once. I made sure to send him some Pepto Bismal afterwards.

This link is not without it's bugs however. It's range is limited from here in my castle in Canterlot to downtown Ponyville and the link can only be brought up on my end. And the magic coming off of the Everfree Forest can screw with the signal. Which is why I couldn't contact Spike when Discord's damn vines had me tied up.

Note to self: Punch Discord in the face.

So I establish the link and send Spike a pulse letting him know I need to talk. When I feel him respond and I begin speaking, "Spike, can you hear me?"

"Loud and clear, Tia"

"First off, is Twilight alright? I heard my sister mention a lead pipe"

"Yeah, she's fine and, surprisingly, she is not as panicked as you would think."

I couldn't believe it. "Really? She's not panicking?"

"Well, she did panic a little bit earlier after she woke up. Then she realized we were still in the castle. She's also got some sort of super magic inhibitor on her horn."

I smile, Well, if I already didn't know who was the mastermind behind this whole thing, that right there proves it."

"Oh, you know already?"

"I've already figured out who it is. Obviously, Fakelight went to go to see this individual first before doing anything."

"Really? what makes you say that?"

"Luna, my sister would never be apart of a plan that would involve hurting me or her friends."

"True enough, but that still doesn't explain what are you going to do about this. Because Twilight may not be panicking, but she is upset about this. She was really looking forward to spending some alone time with you."

I sigh. "I realize this and-"

"Is this a game to you, Tia?"

His question almost makes me lose the concentration for the spell. "What?!"

"Look, I know your practically immortal or as close as can be and Twilight is now too. So I understand if you or Luna need to pull some pranks to let off a little steam now and then. I know it must get stressful dealing with those idiot nobles all the time. But if what you have with Twilight is just a game to you..."

"Spike, please, stop."

Our connection grows silent for several moments before I speak again.

"Spike, I love Twilight. She completes the parts of me that I never knew were missing. A power much higher than I brought this wonderful, perfect pony into my kingdom and, even better, into my life. Her beauty, intelligence, and raw talent are an inspiration to not only to my little ponies, but myself as well. She idolizes and loves me despite having seen me at my lowest moments. For her to give her heart to me is an honor and a privilege that I don't deserve. "

"Spike, I will never hurt Twilight. I will go along for now and but I will nip this in the bud later in the evening and be direct with the impostor. I owe her at least that much."

After a few moments, "That's all I wanted to hear, Tia. I'll go ahead and get Twilight to relax a bit and somehow tell her this will be all over soon. Without telling her about the connection of course."

"Of course, see you later, Spike"

"Later-Oh wait! One last thing, you do know Twilight is going to go after Luna after all this is over, right?"

I pause for a moment "I have told Luna time and time again she needs to think her actions through before doing them. I have tried to gently remind her of this valuable lesson but she keeps ignoring me. And I will admit, even my patience is a little thin at this point. So it is time for a more aggressive method of education to be implemented by none other than Twilight herself. She will help Luna learn this important life lesson. And you and I will be there as well. We well have the honor and privilege of watching Luna transform into a better pony by Twilight's loving hooves."

There was brief pause, then Spike said, "So in other words, you're pissed off at Luna for clubbing Twilight. And you and me are going to watch Twilight curb stomp Luna when she gets out?"

"Exactly, take care now, Spike."

I cut off the connection and make my way towards the library. Despite being getting a little heavy there it was good talking to Spike. It's nice to have friends who can keep you honest. But that aside, I'll go ahead and give Fakelight the day and end this. And then I'll have the rest of the week with Twilight.

Nothing can possibly go wrong.

Meanwhile in Canterlot...

"Is this law still valid?!"

"Yes, it is Princess Luna, and the sooner Celestia is informed about this, the better."

"How can this be? We thought our sister had this law repealed?"

"It was, but then you signed it back into law just 15 minutes ago. Surely you weren't zoning out while signing these important documents were you?"

"Of course not, such a thing would never happen while your Princess of the Night is on duty!"

"Excellent, shall we inform Princess Celestia the good news?"

"Oh she..ah...she won't be in until this evening. We will...inform her of the situation then."

"Very well, have good day, your majesty." The unicorn turns and walks out the throne room.

Leaving me to contemplate exactly how fucked I'll be when my sister hears this.

Meanwhile in a uptown suburb in Canterlot...

"Honey!"

"Yes dear?"

"Twilight is currently staying at the castle for the week."

"Really? Guess we know what were doing tomorrow."

"Exactly, if that alabaster hussy thinks she can hog our daughter the whole week, she has another thing coming."

"Right you are, Velvet. Right you are."

At the same time in Ponyville...

A small dragon knocked on the communication crystal the mastermind had given him. After couple taps, the crystal flashed and projected a hologram of said mastermind and its cohort.

"Hey you guys, Twilight has agreed to go along with the plan now. She is taking a nap right.

"That's wonderful, Spike! I knew she would come come along eventually."

"Yeah that's great. So can you give me the combination for the inhibitor."

"Oh of cour-wait, what combination?"

"You know the number combination that unlocks thing you put on Twilight's horn?"

"Oh the combination....sweetie, give Spike the combination, please?

"Ah yes, the...ah...combination...we cannot give it to you at this time for...security reasons."

"Neither of you know it, do you?"

"Nope"

"Afraid not"

Spike faceclawed, "Of course you don't"

Back to Celestia...

Why the FUCK did I just say that?