"So Sniper. You ever feel like you're living in a dream? Or maybe just ended up getting yourself so drunk that reality somehow bended around itself. That kind of mumbo-jumbo?"
"No scout. Why?" The Australian asked.
"Well... maybe... because... we are in a house... owned by a yellow pony... surrounded by animals?! Am I the only one who things we're all seeing things?!"
"I am drunk! You don't have an excuse!" Demoman slurred as he fainted upon Fluttershy's couch, belching loudly. There was little need for explanation to why all the animals in Fluttershy's cottage had "mysteriously ran away back into their spaces for no apparent reason". Within the living room sat three really big and really loud animals. One of which kept talking incomprehensibly and belching every now and then could probably be assumed as the primary reason of the animals hiding. That, and the really big animal sitting on the couch that was eating a sandwich.
WITH MEAT!
"Well. We didn't catch that damn turkey. So that means when we get back, we have Gunnery Sergeant Hartman to deal with." Scout sighed. "So, what do you think he's gonna call us this time? Maggots? Goldbricks? Sissies?"
"Who cares? That damn rocket jumping potato head is just gonna go crazy for the millionth time. Whatever. Who cares about some stupid turkey. After he yells at us, maybe we can go smash some robots so we can get our money and leave."
"Aye. Mr. Hale says he'll pay us a bonus once there are no robots left here... in... um... unicornland... or something." Scout replied. "Yeah. Yeah. A bonus does sound good. The extra money does go a long way. Mhm."
"Would you all like some apple juice?" Fluttershy asked as she held out... wait a minute. Was... was... was a horse holding on to a plate with HOOVES?! How the hell did it hold onto something with hooves?!
That matter was overlooked as Fluttershy mustered the rest of her voice to offer the mercenaries apple juice. The offer would befall upon literal deaf ears in the case of Demoman, who was too drunk to as much as even realize he was being offered a drink that wasn't something that'd kill his liver. Sniper and Scout on the other hand just looked at each other. Not exactly what to do when a small yellow pegasus was offering them food. Especially when you're on your own planet, you typically offered horses apples. Not them offering you apple juice.
Heavy on the other hand, was rather different. With a wide grin, the big man nodded his head. Thanking the small pony and even ruffling it's mane as a "thank you". Despite having hilariously over-sized hands for Fluttershy's hilariously under-sized cups, the big man was still able to have a drink that he enjoyed.
"Heavy thanks you!" The big Russian rumbled as he smiled. "Is good!"
"You're welcome." Fluttershy nodded.
Today's second show would be the sounds of an impatient foot being tapped. Not by someone, but by something. A small bunny that kept tapping it's foot as loud as an average person. How this was even possible, no one really knew.
"Oh... what is it angel?" Fluttershy asked as she looked at the small bunny who began to point at the couch that Heavy sat on, then at Heavy, and then at itself, repeating the process a few times as though it was trying to get a point across about something involving a couch, heavy and itself.
"What is little bunny doing? It's funny to me!" Heavy commented as he looked at Fluttershy's confused face and Angel repeatedly stomping up and down while continuing it's hand paw motions.
"Oh... um... excuse me... Mr... umm..."
"I am Heavy Weapons Guy. Or just Heavy."
"Yeah! Like how much he weighs!"
The death-glare from Heavy would have been enough to cause grown men to piss themselves in terror. To scout, all it did was make him laugh so hard it hurt his stomach as he fell down and rolled on the ground. As much as he wanted to, it'd be impolite to beat someone senseless in someone else's house. But on the contrary... it'd be rather satisfying... nyet. Polite first. Fun later.
"Anyways. Mr. Heavy Weapons Guy. Angel says that... you're... in his spot."
"In his spot? Why?" Heavy looked at the little bunny. "So... you want your seat huh? Little tiny bunny."
The bunny gave an impatient stamp of the foot and glared at heavy, trying it's best to emulate it's owner's infamous "stare" yet utterly failing as the big Russian burst into hearty laughter, even forgetting about the fact that Scout had called him fat. Just seeing the tiny rabbit attempt to menace Heavy was funny enough to cause Scout to have a serious case of cramps in regards to laughing, with even Demoman bursting back into semi-soberness at the sight, still slurring incomprehensibly at what he thought was the best he'd seen in a long time.
It was all fun and games. Until Angel found a cup of boiling tea. And flung it right at heavy, scalding the man right right on his face.
"DEUUEAUGH!!!!"
The amount of chaos that Angel single-handily managed to cause with just a cup of tea would be something that the Joker would make a new goal for. Thrashing violently as his eyes were covered in tea leaves and hot liquid, the heavy screamed and yelled like a maniac sending all manners of things flying in all directions. Another reason for the animals within Fluttershy's cottage to stay hidden as the beserk Russian got up and ran with his arms waving around at the pain on his face. Eventually, he would crash through the wall, making a maddened dash for... somewhere.
It was in that time when Demoman, Sniper and Scout decided to excuse themselves.
Spy had done his job. Getting all sorts of information on the robots, the Frenchman had earned himself a break as he sat back to enjoy a cup of coffee. He also had made sure to stop by town. You see, there were about a couple dozen ponies who all had hats. Hats that the fancy gentleman happened to have good taste for. Obviously, they were too small for his head at the moment, but if he could find a tailor skilled enough, they could replicate the hats so that it'd suit his head.
And now. Here he was. Sitting at a desk with a cup of coffee and a pile of hats. Underneath said desk contained a brief-case which had a sum of roughly 60,000 dollars. A good haul after a few robots had gotten rather nosy at why a stray engineer bot was looking so fascinated over the workspace the robots had been provided.
The peace and quiet spy was enjoying was probably the best thing since here. Soldier had been going on and on about finding a turkey, which was almost as irritating as Scout. It was good to be alone finally. Enjoying a cigar, what could be better?
Rather slowly but surely, a small noise that sounded somewhat like a fire siren filled the air. Strange. It wasn't like there was any fire brigades around here since Engineer had planned a space that would not be near those... things.... It seemed however that the noise was so little anymore, and the high pitched siren wasn't as high pitched as it grew lower and lower and louder and louder. It soon dawned on Spy that the noise wasn't getting louder. It was that the noise was getting closer.
Without warning, right through the office that Engineer had so painstakingly set up, Heavy burst right through the wall, tripping over some pieces of loose rubble. Hitting him first would be Scout, who landed right on top of Heavy, followed by Sniper who tripped over Heavy's outstretched feet and landed on Scout, and then Demoman who once again became drunk and fell over due to peer pressure.
Needless to say, Spy was not happy.
"What the hell is this?!" Spy rasped angrily as he looked at the mess of people. "What have you hooligans done?!"
All there was, was the gobble of a turkey right on Demoman's head. It was in the moment that Soldier turned the corner.
"What the hell is this?!" Soldier asked happily. "YOU GOT THE TURKEY."
"Yeah... we...got...the...turkey." Scout gasped as he collapsed into an unconscious heap with the rest of everyone else.