"Alright sweetheart, I find that pretty hard to believe." The off-duty police stallion said to Octavia who was still trying to mentally process who she was now talking to. "Crap? Really? That's a grody name for a fine gal like you, don't ya think?"
"I-I-I-I, b-but you w-were at the club and you saw the th-the thing with me and the drunk an-" Octavia stuttered before being cut off by Caramel gently putting his hoof over her out of control mouth.
"Listen Crap, if that really is your name, just chill out. It's not like I'm gonna arrest you or anything. Jeez, you're acting all whack over here."
Octavia was still trying to come to terms with what had just happened but due to the stallion's calm demeanor, she was also able to be more calm herself. She was still not entirely sure of the severity of her actions the other night but she still couldn't help but wonder why this police officer wasn't taking her in or at least reporting her to his on-duty colleagues.
At this point, the stallion who had introduced himself as Caramel had turned his attention back up to the would-be politician at the podium and was now acting as if he had not even noticed Octavia. This helped her calm down even more. After a few more minutes, she even shifted her own attention to what she came to hear in the first place. Still, she felt like she had to figure out why this Caramel would witness her causing a disturbance, then later confront her and not do anything about it. As Filthy's speech appeared to be wrapping up, Octavia finally broke the awkward silence.
"My name is actually...Octavia." She said quietly as to not interrupt the ponies in the crowd asking questions.
"See? That wasn't such a chore now was it?" Caramel replied. "Sorry, it's just not every day that I get a slap on the rump when I'm on the job. Well...actually off the job too. Usually it's my cousin Big Mac who gets all the mar-"
"Yeah, I got a question, sonny." An old, light green mare said as she raised her hoof.
"Yes ma'am, what's on your mind?" Filthy Rich replied.
"Whatcha gone do about all them damn unicorns movi-"
"Next question, please!"
"Yeah, when are you going to spend any time with me?" A little, light pink filly asked.
"I told you to wait in the car, Ruby Crown."
"It's Diamond Tiara, Dad!"
Just then, Octavia was overcome by a sudden realization that made her stomach turn and her face go as whit as Vinyl's.
"Oh sweet *urp* Celestia!" Octavia Exclaimed as she nearly lost her lunch. "It's that saggy old mare from the calendar! I gotta go!"
"Damn it, Grannie!" Caramel yelled. "Your racism just embarrassed me in front of a cute girl...again!"
Meanwhile, Outside the Town Office
"Ugh, what have I done to deserve this?" Octavia sobbed as she wiped her mouth off on some foliage from the garden after a painful episode of vomiting. "I'm a good pony. I've never wronged anypony. I had life by the flank. How is this my li-"
"Miss Octavia..." Caramel quietly began to avoid startling the already stressed out mare. "Just take some slow, deep breaths, ok?"
Octavia had been through a lot within the past few days and it was starting to affect her quite badly. She had gotten inebriated, broken Celestia knows how many laws, smoked Everfree Happy Grass, nearly stuffed herself to death and was now dealing with a law enforcement officer who she had unwittingly harassed the other night. She had begun to think that it was about to get even worse until Caramel was finally able to explain what was going on.
"Look, I think we got off on the wrong hoof." Caramel said. "I can see you're dealing with a lot right now so just take a chill pill, alright?"
"Okay, I'm calm now." Octavia replied. "But I why are you being so nice to me? I got smashed and caused a ruckus and you're not going to arrest me?"
"Not to mention having something to do with damage to government property."
"You mean the patrol coach? I swear I didn't have anything to d-"
"Relax. We got it fixed. The news blew the whole story outta whack, it's all fixed and sitting right over there."
"Okay, well that does make me feel a little better. So what's the deal then?"
"Well, I just have this little unwritten rule that when a mare slaps my flank, I feel like I gotta figure out why. I mean, you just ran off afterwards so I followed...until your friend Vinyl threw the glass I tripped over...then stuffed a bunch of rocks into the tailpipe of my cruiser and blew the engine all to Tartarus. I'm just glad that thing was still under warranty. Kinda getting off track here but you get the point."
"You knew who we were the whole time?!"
"Sure did. Twilight, the librarian is a close friend of my cousin Applejack so I could never forget that voice."
"Then why didn't you or the Ponyville PD come after us the next day?"
"Well, remember that hoedown at my cousin's farm back in '84?"
"Yeah, they even screened that rad movie that came out that year on the side of the barn. Haha, I ain't 'fraid of no ghost! I don't think I'll ever look at your granny the same way again now but what does that have to do with me?"
"Heheh, I'm getting to that. Do you also remember that super nerdy colt with the huge Croak bottle glasses and the braces?"
"Uhh, I think so."
"Well you were the only girl who would so much as talk to me there. It took me a minute to figure out that it was you at the club the other night but after you were so nice to me a few years ago, I wanted to kinda return the favor."
"That was you?"
"Sure was. While I was in the police academy, I got the braces removed and got a set of contacts. Quite an improvement, no?"
"Oh of course. Well, thanks for letting me off the hook. I even just started my vacation today and the last thing I need is an arrest record."
Just then, Caramel's eyes lit right up upon learning of Octavia's time off from work. He then took a deep breath to calm himself as to not let her know that he was getting (what he thought was) a brilliant idea.
"That so?" Caramel replied. I happen to be starting my vacation after my shift later tonight."
"This time of year we could all use a break, am I right?" Octavia said. "Oh, I'd better get back to my friend Vinyl and see what Mr. Rich has to say before it's over. Thanks again, Caramel."
"Anytime. Nice seeing you again, Octavia."
Octavia then reentered the town office building and took an empty seat to hear the remaining questions being answered by the next potential mayor. Only a few ponies still had a hoof in the air and Filthy Rich was just finishing buttering them up as if they were muffins fresh out of the oven.
"Now, as a small business owner" Rarity, the owner of Carousel Boutique began. "myself and others like me are concerned about the recent increase in larger corporate stores like Saltmart being opened in small towns such as this. What do you plan on doing to ensure that it doesn't happen in Ponyville and if it ever does, that it will have minimal affect on us?"
"Well, gorgeous" Filthy Rich began as he lifted the microphone from the podium and slowly made his way towards Rarity. "There once was a time that I was in your horseshoes. You see, I became as successful as I am today because I started from the ground and worked my way up from there. Like minded ponies like us know that in order to build up our own business, it helps to not have a corporate chain nearby to gain an unfair advantage. In these changing times, it's getting a lot harder to grow your own business with an increasing amount of chains around."
Filthy rich was now at eye level with the blushing Rarity, his face only a few inches from hers as his devilishly handsome smile revealed his perfect and sparkling set of teeth. The air conditioning in the room was not enough to keep the floozy fashionista from breaking into a sweat as Filthy Rich finished his very convincing speech.
"And sweetheart, rest assured that when I am mayor of this town, everypony will have the chance to go far. The sky's the limit!"
After ending his unspecific answer to Rarity's question with a wink, everypony in the entire room erupted in chatter. It was as if they were buying the whole thing and unable to pick up on the fact that he had not clearly answered any questions that were asked. With one last look around the room to see no more hooves in the air, the would be politician trotted out of the room with his grumpy looking daughter in tow. The ponies in the crowd then hastily filed out until the room was nearly empty and Octavia and Vinyl were finally able to find eachother, the latter looking anything but pleased.
"The guy's about as fake as they can get!" Vinyl huffed as the two friends exited the building to make their way to their coach in the parking lot. "Did you see how he danced around all those questions?!"
"Now I see where you're coming from Vinyl." Octavia replied. "Don't worry though. It's still just the start of summer. The election is not until the middle of Autumn. We have months until it's all said and done and that's plenty of time for somepony better to challenge him."
"Uh, hello? C'mon Tavi, I thought you were the smart one here! According to Equestrian law, they give it three weeks for another pony to enter the 'race' and after that, they make him mayor if nopony jumps in!"
"Vinyl, when are you going to get it? I'm not going to embarrass myself by ru-the fuck is going on over there?"
Octavia and Vinyl's attention was suddenly grabbed by the sight of a red, two door Bovilet Clovaro sports coupe on the other side of the parking lot with what looked like Filthy Rich's daughter impatiently pacing back and forth next to it. The Vehicle was shaking around and the tinted windows prevented anypony from seeing what was actually going on in there.
"Dad, are you done yet?!" The little filly, Diamond Tiara asked as Rarity and Filthy Rich exited the vehicle, their manes in a complete mess.
"Jeez kid, calm down." Filthy retorted as he wiped lipstick off his face and fixed his collar. With your mother gone, Daddy gets lonely and Miss Rarity here was just keeping me company. Now let's get you to school so you can print some fliers out with your newspaper club, okay?"
As Rarity blew a kiss to which Filthy responded with another wink, The little filly joined her father in the car that then sped off leaving a cloud of dust behind. As Vinyl watched the coupe fade away in the distance, she could feel her blood begin to boil.
"Gah, why the fuck do such assholes get action like that?"
To which Octavia responded by giving her unicorn friend a disapproving glance.
"What? Don't look at me like that. At least I make sure the stallions I get with are deserving and aren't jerks like him. And, I make them actually work for it before I let 'em get to home base."
"Okay Vinyl, I get it." Octavia began. "But please just chillax, okay? I worry about you when you get yourself worked up like that."
"Alright, well I need a cigarette if I'm gonna chillax but that parking ticket on our coach isn't really helping my mood right now."
"What? Why would they give us a ticket?! We aren't even parked illegally! The car's legit!"
"Whatever. Let's just go home. The longer we stay here, the closer I get to having damn heart attack."
"Uh, Vinyl?"
"Aw shit, what now?"
"Alright, calm your flank down! This isn't a parking fine."
"Oh well that's a relief. What is it then?"
"I think...Uh, I think it's a phone number."