//------------------------------//
// Chapter 21 
// Story: Within and Without 
// by Cloudy Skies 
//------------------------------//

	Luna ripped through the night air at a pace that would have shredded a mortal body, wings sizzling with unbound magic. She could easily have teleported back to Canterlot instead, of course. In the blink of an eye, she could have willed herself to her chambers, but that was the easy path. You want me to hate you, a voice said in her head. A voice that had become so very familiar in a laughably short time. It's the easy way out, she had said. I may in fact love you too, and there's not a thing you can do about that.

Twilight had been right in that, so Luna did the only thing she could do. Something she thought she would never do again. She'd fled with her tail between her legs. The shame burned the very core of her being. She wasn't like this. She had changed. But how? Who the hay was she now?

If she had changed, though, she was not the only one. For every iota of anger she aimed at herself, she had a veritable trough of hatred for her sister. She needed answers, and she needed them now.

The distant shadow of Canterlot upon the mountain grew to meet her. The graceful spires and waterfalls of the city gained detail in the space of seconds, and the night princess slowed her speed to a more mundane level, aiming for a certain window set in the back wall of the palace. Where the vast majority of the massive building's windows and portals glowed with bright lights through the entire night, this one was a faint glimmer in a sea of suns. Luna alighted upon the tiny balcony and stood before the curtains that led to Celestia's evening study.

Luna shook. She didn't want to be angry. She hated it. Terrible things happened when she was angry, and she was so very, very afraid, but right now, she couldn't help it. Her hooves led a life of their own, carrying her inside the room when she wasn't ready. She would never be ready for this. An image of Canterlot torn from the mountain and crumbling to dust flashed through her mind.

Celestia sat in front of the fireplace reading a letter. The rest of the room hid in shadow not only for lack of light other than the crackling fire, but because her splendor drew the eye, as always. Luna loved her sister. He resolve almost failed when she saw the sun princess. Her will to fight nearly broke, but she clung to the memory of what she had realized. What she had learned.

She could never trust her big sister again.

Celestia had not acknowledged her presence, but Luna knew that she had felt her the second she entered the room. They could both wait like this for hours, until the fire turned to embers, until the embers died. Perhaps they could simply wait together in silence until the mountain itself eroded away, ceasing to be.

"You came unarmed!" Luna suddenly blurted, incredulous. "I broke the covenant, you thought I was lost once again, and you came unarmed!"

"Hello, sister," Celestia said, half-turning and facing Luna. She was as calm as ever, though she looked a little confused. "I am glad to see you, but why are you here?"

"I am here," Luna spat, her voice dripping with venom, "because you came to face me unarmed! You thought I was a maddened beast, yet you showed up without the Sun Spear! You do not even have it any more, do you?" she accused, advancing upon her sister.

"I do not," Celestia said, shrugging. “Why do you think I hid when you returned from your banishment?”

Though it was as she had suspected, her anger justified, Luna felt like she had been bucked in the gut. The wrath was replaced by a cold fear. A chill the likes of which she had not felt since the first years of her banishment. When she thought she would be alone forever.

Luna stopped. She no longer trusted her legs to carry her forward. She stood a small distance away from Celestia as the fear mixed with desperation and she tasted bile in her mouth.

"If you are not ready to do what you must, then what happens next time? Where is the Sun Spear? Why?" Luna whispered.

Celestia slowly rose to stand before she replied. She still held in her magic grip the very same letter she had been reading, and her lustrous mane partially hid her face. "You needed a reminder, not murder. You will see its grave if you watch the sunrise tomorrow. How could you expect me to ever look at it again when I could have killed you that night?”

"Maybe you should have," Luna said, casting her eyes to the ground as her big sister approached. "Now we do not know what happens next time. I did not deserve a second chance when none of the others got one."

"There will be no next time," Celestia calmly said. "We are relics of harder times, you and I, but we alone remain. I have been a creature of war, but if I can change and adjust, then so can you. Things have changed, Lulu."

Luna swallowed at the use of her pet name. So many happy moments were tied to it, but it felt like a different pony had experienced them. "I am weak, Tia," she protested feebly.

"No, you are stronger than anypony or anyone else. You came back from the threshold of oblivion," Celestia said, sighing. "Do you remember when Lupus broke that poor chief's leg in the third age?"

Luna smiled a little despite herself. "Of course. Poor Lupus, I think he never quite forgave himself."

Celestia returned the smile, and the room seemed a little brighter for it. "Perhaps not, but do you remember afterwards? The chief insisted on letting it heal by itself. He would not accept our help."

Not quite understanding where she was going with this, Luna shrugged. Celestia indicated the mound of pillows in front of the fireplace, returning to lay down in her favorite spot. Luna reluctantly lay down at her side, curious.

"The bone regrew crooked. He had to break it again to make it grow right," Celestia finished, simply.

"You are suggesting I've grown crooked," the moon princess said.

"No!" Celestia exclaimed, giving her a brief look of horror before she rolled her eyes. She tapped Luna's head with a forehoof, making the smaller princess wince. "I am saying you are only now getting better! Good grief, Lulu, you can be dense sometimes."

Luna cringed at the gentle rebuke, but forced herself to think about it as Celestia patiently regarded her. Perhaps Celestia was right, then. Maybe it was that simple. Let go of her fears and try to adjust like she had. There were no wars to be fought any more. No more terrors. She had fought herself and come out victorious. She had seen that the ponies of Equestria did not all hate her. With time, they may all come to love the night, perhaps? Time was the one thing she did have.

"You are right," Luna said. The words were simple, but liberating. The way Celestia lit up when she said it made her twice as happy about having admitted it. Of course Celestia was right. Not that Celestia was the only pony who had taught her things lately.

It was as if somepony had suddenly poured ink in her bathwater. Luna’s smile wavered. She managed to let go - a few hours too late.

"I can open the court again," she went on, trying to sound as pleased as she should about the whole deal. "Resume my duties where I left off. I will go to the administration office first thing in the morning, in fact!"

Celestia stared at her, and Luna instinctively drew back, fearing another clout on the head. What she got was a gentle hoof cupping her chin, lifting her head up and forcing Luna to look at her.

"Lulu, stop playing around. You said yourself that this does not feel like home to you. To the Moon with your duties. I have kept the peace for this long. I will manage for as long as I have to, and you can raise the Moon herself from anywhere - once you feel ready." Celestia shook her head, smiling. "I have to ask you again, why are you here?"

Luna looked away. She didn’t want to break away from Celestia’s touch, but the night princess' eyes were fastened upon the dancing flames of the nearby fireplace. "I am not sure, but think I ruined it," she muttered. "I ran away like a foal, Tia."

Celestia let go of her, and instead leaned in to give Luna a hug. Everything else dissolved around the two of them, and for a short instant, Luna felt at peace again. Warm. When her big sister broke the embrace, some of her touch seemed to linger.

"You did not ruin it, but if this is what you want? If this is what you need? Then yes, you made a mistake," the sun goddess said, her tone gentle. "But we all make mistakes, do we not? You know what ponies do when they make mistakes."

Luna swallowed and nodded, terrified but hopeful at the same time. "I must make amends. But how?"

Celestia laughed and nuzzled Luna affectionately. "I think an apology is a good start, no? Go to her, Lulu. Go to Twilight, and do not dare come back before you have told her you are sorry. In fact, I will order the guard to chase you off if you show your face here again before next week."

Standing up to leave her sister’s company then was the hardest thing Luna had ever done, but every step was easier than the last. The balcony beckoned her, and the night sky was eager to welcome her back home. Her night sky. She paused before the curtains.

"The letter is from Twilight, is it not?" Luna asked, smiling at her sister who still lay in front of the fireplace.

"It is," Celestia nodded. "And no, you can't read it. Shoo, Lulu. Get going!"

"Thank you," the younger princess stammered, feeling a lump form in her throat.

"For goodness' sake," Celestia laughed. "Thank Twilight, not me! Thank her for both of us!"

Luna disappeared into the night without another word.