“So,” Rarity says as she enters the room Twilight repurposed into her study, a red Santa Hooves hat sitting on Rarity’s head. “What do you want to do for Hearth’s Warming? I mean… What does the rest of Equestria do for Hearth’s Warming? Is there anything I can do to make your holidays feel more… special?”
Twilight rubs her head. “Actually…” She frowns. “I came here a month ago, right? Maybe two months, depending on how long I was… in the runing place?”
Rarity nods. “That sounds about right to me, why do you ask?”
“Because, according to you, I came here about two weeks after the Summer Sun Festival, so how is it already December?” Twilight says, glancing back to her notes. “This book mentions some distortions in the town’s magical field, which – I’m just quoting what the book says, not arguing that magic exists – could explain some temporal anomalies, but… is anypony else noticing this, or is it just me?”
“No,” Rarity says, tilting her head. “Now that you mention it, this summer was unseasonably short.” She reaches out towards one of Twilight’s books. “If you want, I can–”
“No!” Twilight yells, slamming her hoof down on the book Rarity reached towards. “No… It’s fine.” She laughs nervously. “I just… I know you have to get ready for your radio show, and I don’t want to bother you. I’ll be fine.”
Rarity frowns as she pulls her hoof back. “Are you sure, Twilight? You’ve been up here for the last week, and I really must insist you get out of this drab old room… I’ll even let you sit in on the show with me. Won’t that be fun?”
“Really?” Twilight asks, raising an eyebrow. “I thought you hated ponies sitting in while you broadcast.”
“That’s… very true,” Rarity says, giving Twilight a tiny smile. “However, there are a few extenuating circumstances. First, you’re… I don’t know, are we actually dating?”
“You’ll have to tell me,” Twilight says, her eyes drifting back to her books. Her beautiful, beautiful books. “I’ve never really dated before, but I definitely like you, so that’s something, right? Ooh. Maybe I should find some books in the library on dating so I can qualify our relationship.”
“I don’t think that will be necessary,” Rarity says, draping a forehoof over Twilight’s shoulders, prompting Twilight to lean into her. “I’d prefer not to have… a repeat of last time.”
Twilight’s lips twist into a playful pout. “But you were so great last time. You saved my life.”
“Yes, but I’d prefer it if you didn’t put yourself in situations where your life needed saving. I’m not as…” Rarity gestures to Twilight’s horn, careful not to say the word. “Strong as you are.”
“Yeah, speaking of that, did you know the really old books talk about the town’s magic fields and possible effects of a unicorn tapping into them? If my horn wasn’t runed I could actually see it myself and maybe see just what’s wrong with this town,” Twilight says, enthusiastically gesturing at her books. Rarity just glares at her.
“Okay, I know you really like this town, but even you’ve admitted it’s kind of crazy,” Twilight hastily adds.
“That’s not what’s bothering me,” Rarity says, sighing. “What bothers me is that… Have you considered that, assuming magic is real, maybe our town forgot about it for a reason?”
“No! I mean… yes… I mean… Just looking at it can’t be that bad though, right?” Twilight says, frowning as she looks through her notes, not noticing as Rarity raises an eyebrow. “Look, maybe if we can just see what’s affecting the town’s magical field, we can fix it.”
“Can we please talk about this later, Twilight? You’re not going to do anything drastic today, are you?” Rarity asks, wearing a weary frown.
“Sure,” Twilight says, smiling as she nuzzles at Rarity’s neck. “Want me to help you put up your Hearth’s Warming decorations?”
Rarity laughs and strokes Twilight’s mane. “Twilight, I did that yesterday. I can’t believe you haven’t noticed yet.” She frowns. “Although, I suppose you wouldn’t since you’ve been cooped up in here so long. Spike’s fine, by the way.”
“Thanks for looking after him, I just… I don’t think he should be seeing some of these books, they’re kind of…”
“Disturbing?” Rarity fills in. “Most new knowledge is.”
“Right,” Twilight says, nodding and trying not to roll her eyes. A part of her wants to call Rarity out on the strange love-hate relationship she has with knowledge, but the other, greater, part of her wants to enjoy the sensation of leaning against her… marefriend. She decides the word is adequate for describing her relationship with Rarity. “So… Have anything special planned for Hearth’s Warming? Let me guess, this town’s Hearth’s Warming celebration involves making a sacrifice to some old god buried under the earth.”
Rarity laughs. “Don’t be ridiculous, Twilight, we celebrate Hearth’s Warming just like everypony else. We gather our friends and family, cook a lovely meal, close the curtains, and spend the night cowering in the basement hoping you didn't get put on Santa Hooves' naughty list.”
“Uh-huh,” Twilight says. “We definitely do those first two things, but…” Her ears perk up “Wait. You actually have a Santa Hooves?”
“Of course,” Rarity says. “Why wouldn’t we?”
“Huh… I’m just going to put that in my big pile of things to figure out later.” Twilight smiles up at Rarity. “You’re really okay with me sitting in on your show?”
Rarity nods. “Besides my… emotional attachment to a mare who is nothing short of perfect, I also have a decidedly more practical reason. If the radio station is going to be taken over by the town council, I’d prefer it if I had ponies I trusted fill the air time. I figure you can do a show on the sciences, and Lyra can talk about music, maybe showcase some local talents. I hear she’s friends with a rather popular DJ.”
“Are you sure?” Twilight asks, a tightness forming in her chest as she thinks about talking to hundreds of ponies.
“It’s just an idea,” Rarity says, stroking Twilight’s side until she feels the tension in her marefriend dissolve. “I just want you to think about it and I thought letting you be a… special guest co-host might help you get used to the idea.”
“I guess it can’t hurt,” Twilight says, leaning into Rarity’s soft fur. “So, are you doing anything special on the show to celebrate Hearth’s Warming Eve this month?”
Rarity just smiles at her. “Oh, I have something planned, but I suppose you’ll just have to listen to find out.”
***
An hour later, the two unicorns sit in the broadcast room. “The snow is falling around us, but science tells us that somewhere, in the deserts far to our south, the sun is bright and warm. Welcome to Pony Vale.”
***
Isn’t the snow lovely, listeners? Seeing it blanket the town is a perfect reminder that the holidays are coming. Speaking of which, have you done your holiday shopping yet? Remember, if you've been good this year, stock up on lots of things you don't care about for Santa Hooves to take, and if you've been bad... Well, nothing can save you from his gifts now.
Oh! Listeners, I have a special treat for you all today. The absolutely wonderful Twilight Sparkle is in the studio with me to discuss today’s news. I’m sure her commentary will be insightful and on point. Isn’t that right, Twilight?
Of course. I… You know, I’m just here to provide a… scientific perspective, I guess? Right? Is that okay? Sorry, do I have my own segment or?
No. Just… comment. Talk like we normally do, dear. You were absolutely fine the first time you guest hosted with me.”
Yeah, but… I didn’t mean to, I wasn’t thinking about talking to them, I was just talking with you.
Then do that, dear. Now, a bit of good news. The complaints about the old woman reciting the litany of our sins have plummeted to near-zero levels. She’s still there, still reciting the litany of our sins, but now most residents inhabiting the southern part of town have taken to complaining about the swarm of locusts coming from her mouth. Reports indicate that the locusts form a carpet on the ground that rises up to residents’ knees. While I’m sure the locusts will look absolutely lovely covered in snow, but I would advise residents going outside to cover their hooves. Digging dead insect matter out of your hooves is an absolutely dreadful way to spend an evening.
Twilight, how do you think the locust swarm will impact the holiday shopping season?
That’s… it? Your town has a swarm of locusts plaguing it and you’re first question is about how it will impact holiday shopping? Why don’t we try to figure out just how this old woman can vomit out an endless swarm of locusts while still managing to talk?
[Rarity laughs]
That’s my marefriend for you, always looking at how the little things work while the rest of us focus on the big picture. Why, I never considered just how the old woman could be creating all these locusts until my dear Twilight brought it up. She’s such a scientist at heart, that I’m afraid the secret lab miles under our town is going to try and take her away from me.
[Twilight sighs]
Please tell me that’s not an actual possibility.
[Several seconds of silence]
Oh! Listeners, I have more good news… Is it okay if I tell them, Twilight?
Fine.
Listeners, this is perhaps the greatest news to grace our town since most of the night howlers were banished: Twilight and I are dating.
[Rarity squeals]
I know, I can barely believe it myself, the last week has just felt like a dream come true, and… Oh, listeners, she’s blushing right now. She is so darling, right now, why I could just–
Alright, that’s enough, Rarity. Professionalism, right?
[Rarity clears her throat]
Yes, yes, I suppose you’re right. I can gush like a fanfilly off air. Right now, I must keep my mind on the news. Oh! A special report, a blue unicorn has been seen pulling a wagon into the town square and setting up a show. Reports indicate that she is a… Oh! She’s a travelling magician. Isn’t that delightful citizens?
Wait. I’m sorry, but I thought magic was illegal here. Isn’t that why you runed my horn in the first place?
Twilight, don’t be ridiculous. Magic isn’t illegal, it’s just not real.
And that makes a travelling magic show better?
Of course. If it doesn’t exist, then our travelling magician is clearly just a very talented illusionist here to take us away from the realities of a harsh unforgiving world by letting us believe a fun lie for a few hours. Actually, the fact that we have travelling magicians is just more proof that magic can’t exist.
What? That makes… no sense.
Doesn’t it? The rest of Equestria believes any unicorn can use magic, right?
Right...
So, if just anypony could use magic, why would you ever need a travelling magician? If magic was commonplace, why would anypony pay to see a magic show?
That’s… Ugh, I’m having a harder time arguing that than I should. Give me a minute.
Of course. In other news, there is now an empty lot in the heart of Pony Vale. Nopony’s really sure how it got there, or what – if anything – was there before it appeared, but citizens are thrilled. Space is limited in downtown Pony Vale, and this empty lot is sparking a bidding war between land developers. This piece of prime real estate is going fast, so if you’re interested in acquiring this empty lot for your own purposes, give your bid to town hall.
Since the lot was first found, several winged unicorns have been seen patrolling the area, looking for… something or someone. Are they seeking the past owner of the lot, or did they perhaps play a role in the lot’s appearance? As of now, we can only speculate, but I invite any of the Erikas to come on my show and discuss their interest in the empty lot. I promise this isn’t a ploy to capture you hatched by the town council.
I’ve got it! Most unicorns are only good at magic relating to their special talent, so a unicorn who can use a lot of spells is still a novelty, especially if that unicorn is good at… flashier spells.
I’m sorry, Twilight, but it sounds like you’re reaching for an explanation to me. Also, isn’t there something you’re forgetting?
[Whispering can be heard in the background]
Oh, right, me talking about magic is just a hypothetical “what-if” scenario. Obviously, magic isn’t real, and anypony who believes otherwise should head to one of the town’s rehabilitation clinics.
Remember, there’s no such thing as thought crime, just thoughts that don’t know better. If you’re having unruly thoughts, be sure to report to a rehabilitation clinic for proper education.
Listeners, if you’re interested in watching the show, the magician is setting up right in front of town hall. Be sure to bundle up before heading out though, it’s cold out there. Actually… No, it seems the area immediately around the town hall is in early autumn. While… unexpected, it’s certainly convenient. Maybe our travelling magician knows how to change the seasons.
Or maybe there’s something wrong with time in this town.
That’s true. Listeners, Twilight informed me of something interesting this afternoon. Did you know that the time between the summer solstice and the first of December was only about two months? It looks like winter came early this year.
[Twilight sighs]
Rarity, that’s… that’s not how it works.
What do you mean, dear?
When most ponies talk about winter coming early, they mean it got cold earlier than usual. They don’t mean that four months just vanished into thin air.
Oh. Well… Listeners, while I admit that several months just vanishing is certainly odd, is it really that unusual? We are constantly losing time. We wake up in the morning with so much planned to do, but the day just vanishes into nothing, like sand held in our hooves. The harder we try to hold onto it, the faster it slips away, leaving behind only memories of events we can never be sure actually happened.
Is the whole town missing four months really that unusual, or is it just our experience with the ephemeral nature of time writ large? I think it’s time for us to stop quantifying time, to stop trying to break it down into distinct measurable units and instead use what seconds we’re allotted to make as many memories as we can.
Wow, Rarity, that’s a… that’s a beautiful sentiment. It doesn’t really help explain why we lost a few months, but… I’m definitely up for enjoying our allotted seconds after the show’s over.
[Rarity coughs]
Well, listeners, I’m sorely tempted to cut to weather, but there’s is still news to cover, and I am nothing if not a professional.
[Silence]
Twilight, if you’re going to nibble on my ear, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave the broadcast room.
I’m… sorry, I don’t know what got into me. It’s… I’d never dream of doing something like that in public, or on-air, or… I don’t know why, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
It’s fine, Twilight, I struggle with such thoughts on a daily basis, and I understand that we all occasionally lose control. Just… try to keep such lovely acts of affection out of the broadcast room.
I don’t think it was an act of affection, though.
Anyways… The magician is starting her show. She’s addressing the audience and saying “For one night only, let your guest, the humble Trixie, regale you with stories of magic and valor from a world long vanished.” Oh! Listeners, she pulled a bouquet of flowers out of thin air. That is absolutely… Twilight, how do you think she pulled that off?
I don’t know, Rarity, I want to say it’s magic, but that can’t be it because magic isn’t real. So probably… Science?
[Rarity laughs]
Twilight, that’s ridiculous… You can’t just do things with science, it’s not some cure all that resolves all our problems. It’s a way of understanding the world and our place in it. Science can allow us to understand the optical tricks an illusionist can use to exploit her audience, but to understand the actual sleight-of-hoof they use… I’m afraid we’re simply left to ask and wonder.
[Twilight growls]
Of course, you are.
Listeners, you really should head down to the town square, this magician is… Well, I have no idea how she does these tricks.
Wait! She’s a unicorn. An unruned unicorn. Doesn’t that mean you should… you know.
That is a… very good question. We certainly should, but the siren’s aren’t blaring, in fact… Listeners, a letter from the town council just materialized in front of me. I’m glancing obliquely at it, careful not to look directly at it lest I risk my mind being ripped to shreds, and… let’s see… Oh! The town council just passed a new law. It seems unruned unicorns will be allowed to stay in our town for a period not exceeding seventy-two hours. Isn’t that–
Are you kidding me?! I wander into town, and twenty minutes later, I’m in some underground bunker having… things carved into my horn, but this magician comes in with a magic show and the town passes a special law so she can perform? I…
I can use this. If she’s unruned, then… I have to go.
Twilight, don’t you want to–
[A door shuts]
Oh well, It looks like it’s just you and me, listeners. How are you?
[Silence]
I am wonderful, and thank you for asking. Twilight is, of course, a dear, even if she’s… a bit fussy when it comes to certain subjects, but… Oh, listeners, beyond that, I can’t find a thing to complain about, she’s just so charming and sweet and… Listeners, you might have figured some of this out from our conversations on air, but she’s incredibly passionate. Talking with her is like talking with a beautiful enticing forest fire, and… Right, the news.
Applejack, you know, the farmer has reported seeing a cloud of gathering darkness on the edge of her farm. It doesn’t seem to do anything, and when she walked into it, nothing happened, so… it seems harmless. However, it is growing, so if you’re heading out to the edge of her orchard, be sure to use caution. I don’t think I need to recount what happened the last time a cloud of animate madness cloaked our town.
Oh! The magician just transformed two colts into rabbits. This… She is an absolute wonder to watch, not as wonderful as my Twilight, of course, but still, watching her and I can almost imagine magic being real. I hope she does a repeat performance so I can see her in person. She is now bowing before the audience and announcing her plan to take a short break before continuing the show, claiming she needs to recover her mystical powers. Listeners, if I were you, I’d head to the town hall as quickly as possible. Why, even my Twilight is heading to the show.
And now, listeners, the weather.
***
“Excuse me,” Twilight says, a saddle protecting her from the frigid winter. “Can you help me out with something?”
“Of course,” Trixie says, turning around to look at Twilight and smiling. “What can I do to help you? I might not be the most magically adept mare in the world, but I’ll do what I can to help.”
“Well, I was wondering if you could… Look at the town’s magical field. I would but…” Twilight gestures to the runes on her horn.
Trixie’s face turns a pale shade of green as she notices the runes etched along the length of Twilight’s horn. “Are you telling Trix– Telling me that you can’t…”
“It takes forever for me to get the energy needed to cast anything beyond a basic levitation cantrip, and I can’t check magical auras at all, so if you could do it for me and tell me what you see, I’d really appreciate it,” Twilight says.
“I…” Trixie slowly regains her composure. “I’d be happy to, just... “ Her horn lights up and she closes her eyes. She winces. “It’s wrong.”
“What is?” Twilight asks, pulling a pen and notepad out.
“The magic field,” Trixie says, struggling to keep the disgust out of her voice. “It’s… I’m not even looking at it yet, and it’s already wrong. Too oily and slimy, like…” She opens her eyes and looks around, eyes glowing. “There’s a snarl here. Right in the heart of town. Ley lines have been ripped out of their natural positions and twisted around each other, and it all leads… If I could just reach out and touch it–” The energy in her eyes vanishes and she glares at Twilight. “Begone.”
Twilight takes a step back from the mare. “Excuse me?”
“You heard Trixie, she doesn’t have the time to waste on broken worms like you, when she can instead wrap the arcane around her hooves and break the world to her will.”
Panic and bile rise in Twilight’s throat. “Trixie… Please, tell me what you saw.”
Trixie laughs. “Something an insect like you could never understand. No, only a pony as great and powerful as Trixie could see the power shaping creation and return unscathed. Only Trixie could see his face and not cower in fear! If this town wants to see magic, then Trixie will give it a show they’ll never forget. Now, begone.”
The world around Twilight jerks around her, dissolving into a mass of swirling colors that reform into Twilight’s room at Rarity’s. Twilight lurches forward as the world spins around her. “Rarity!” she yells, opening the door to the broadcast room. “You need to get on air right now. I think… I did something really bad.”
Rarity smiles at her. “Twilight, it couldn’t have been that terrible.” She points at her scrying pool. “Look everypony’s having a wonderful time at the town square and the magician… Trixie, I think her name is, is about to resume the show. Oh, I wonder what her next trick will be.”
“That’s the problem,” Twilight says. “I… I asked her to look at the town’s magical field for me, and… Rarity, you’re right, I shouldn’t have looked. I think it drove Trixie crazy.”
The blood drains from Rarity’s face as she turns to look at her microphone. “Oh dear. Lyra, I need to go live now.”
“Right away, boss,” Lyra says as she flips the switches on her control board. “You’re live in 3… 2… 1.”
***
[Emergency sirens blare]
Listeners! An emergency update. Get away from the town hall as quickly as possible. We have reason to believe that… As of now, the magician should be considered contaminated by a foreign presence. Get away from her as quickly as possible. Return to your homes as quickly as possible. Trixie, the magician is has taken the stage and is currently extolling her great magical prowess. Now… she is promising a finale which we will not believe, and I fear it’s not something any sane mind should witness.
A black viscous energy is surrounding her horn, and a gateway to places unknown is forming in the town center. Trixie is beseeching for… something to emerge from it. I am receiving a special report from the town council saying that their recent decision to allow unruned unicorns access to our town for seventy-two hours has been overturned. So… That’s a bit of good news, I suppose.
Something is… oozing from the portal, and– Listeners, I cannot bear to look at it. The very sight of its hideous fleshy mass tears at my mind, and its million eyes pierce my soul. Listeners, do not, under any circumstances, look at the creature. This is the highest-priority emergency. Stay inside until the all clear is sounded. Do not attempt to reach your loved ones. Activate your emergency wards and get your cyanide pills at the ready. Death is certainly a preferable alternative to whatever horrors this thing plans to inflict on us. We are experiencing some disturbances at the station. My radio equipment is warping, and I’m not sure how much longer I can keep broadcasting.
Until I can broadcast further, good night, Pony Vale. Good night.
***
That night, Twilight paces alone in her study as ponies’ screams in the background are punctuated by the occasional boom of an explosion. It’s my fault, she thinks to herself. I just… Rarity warned me not to look into this, but what did I do? I ignored her and now there’s this monster, and… It’s all my fault.
She collapses onto the floor, tears forming in her eyes. Ponies are dying, Rarity probably hates me, and… She spots her notes on magic in Pony Vale. Magic. It… It failed me. Her eyes narrow as she floats her notes towards her. No. it betrayed me. None of this would have happened if it wasn’t for magic. The papers burst into flame, leaving only ashes as Twilight gets to her hooves. She catches sight of herself in the mirror and sighs.
But I’m the element of magic. What am I supposed to do without it? Twilight asks herself as she looks around the room, before her eyes rest on a book sitting on her desk.
Reinvent yourself. If Rarity can be a radio host, and Pinkie Pie can be… Whatever Pinkie Pie is, then who’s to say Twilight Sparkle can’t be… Twilight floats the book over to her and reads the title.
A scientist.