Sir Wub-Wubs sat with his back against the tree. He had been walking for two hours, from Canterlot all the way to the edge of a town called Ponyville, and his hooves were starting to ache.
“Of all the things I had to forget it just had to be the teleportation song.” he said to himself. “I’ve known the song for over two thousand years and now I can’t remember even the first note. Oh well. I suppose that after a thousand years of dormancy a little exercise would be beneficial.”
He rose to his hooves and worked his way past trees and brush that bordered Ponyville, entering one of the most dangerous places in all of Equestria. Sir Wub-Wubs trotted carefully through the twisting vines and dangerous creatures of the forest. If there was another way, he would’ve taken it, but he was pressed for time and had to pick the quickest route. Sir Wub-Wubs felt a tingling on his back and drew his sword-hilt, preparing for danger.
“Help!” cried a mare, a few yards ahead of Sir Wub-Wubs. He galloped forward through the trees and into a small clearing. There on the ground was the mare, her eyes shielded behind a pair of trendy, purple shades. Her blue mane was wild and matted with dirt, almost as much as her pale white coat. Her Cutie Mark was two-bridged eight notes, hinting at a musical background.
“What’s the problem?” asked Sir Wub-Wubs, grabbing his hilt out of his mouth with his hoof.
“Dude, we have to get out of here!.” she said panickedly. “There’s this thing coming and it tried to kill me!”
“What did this ‘thing’ look like?” asked Sir Wub-Wubs. An answer was unnecessary, as the beast quickly jumped from the thick green. It had the same shape as a unicorn, but was completely black and it emitted an ominous smoke.
“We’re gonna die!” said the mare.
“Just stay behind me.” said Sir Wub-Wubs. He began to hum a soft tune which steadily grew louder. A grey steel blade slowly faded onto his hilt.
“Uh. no offense, but you’re not gonna do much with that hilt.”
“Watch me.” he answered. He rushed forward, his blade fully formed, at the shadowy figure. Sir Wub-Wubs stabbed his foe through the middle, removed his blade, and sliced at the enemies horn. The enemy dodged and prepared a spell, it’s horn becoming shrouded in a black aura. He fired his beam at Sir Wub-Wubs, who raised his blade and deflected the shot right back at it’s caster. The shadow pony burst into smoke and disappeared, flying into the air and fading.
“Dude! You’re legendary!” she exclaimed. “You saved my life. How can I ever repay you?”
“Thanks, but I don’t need a courtesan right now.” said Sir Wub-Wubs, sheathing his sword.
“Good thing I wasn’t offering. I’m Vinyl, by the way. Vinyl Scratch.”
“Vinyl Scratch? Well then, Vinyl Scratch. Bye.” he said, walking away. Shocked, Vinyl followed close behind.
“You can’t leave me here!” she cried.
“I know. I was trying to.”
“Hey, what’s your name? I think I should know who my savior is.”
“You may call me Sir Wub-Wubs.”
“Wub-Wubs? You’re a DJ?” she asked. “Dude! What do you mix? Hip-hop? I do dubstep myself, but to each their own.”
“Wait, you’re in the music industry?” asked Sir Wub-Wubs.
“What’d you think the Cutie Mark meant?”
“I can’t see your Cutie Mark.” he said, stopping to think.
“Huh? Why not?” she asked in worry. Just to be safe, she checked her flank. Sure enough, her Mark was there.
“Look closely, little filly. Into my eyes.”
“Why do they look so faded? Wait just a minute, you’re blind?” she asked. Wub-Wubs nodded. “Then how did you kill that… whatever it was!”
“They’re called the Whispers of a Shout. Whenever a powerful spell is cast, that being the Shout, there is a byproduct of the magic, that being the Whisper. That Whisper in particular was made of a powerful dark magic.” he said, scratching his head. “You said you play dubstep, right?”
“Yeah, but that’s the least of our worries. Somepony has to go tell Princess Celestia.”
“Lady Celestia already knows. Where did you think I came from? You wanted to know how to repay me?” said Wub-Wubs. “Well, I have a way. I need you to play me your best mix.”
“As much as I love sharing my mad skills with the world, I don’t think now is the time.” said Vinyl.
“And as much as I love hearing an ignorant mare like yourself babble about things she doesn’t understand, I’m very busy. Don’t ask any questions. Just play the mix and then we can part ways.”
“No way! Not with these Whisper things on the loose.”
“Fine! Just play me the mix and I will protect you. At least until I can find a town to drop you off at.” said Sir Wub-Wubs, shaking his head in frustration. “Where do we have to go to hear the mix?”
“Just a little bit further into the forest. I like to perfect my tracks in the Everfree Forest.” said Vinyl.
“Why?”
“Acoustics are good, man. Something about the trees carries the beat really well.” she said with a chuckle. “My equipment is just up ahead, and I should have my favorite mix on my laptop.” Sir Wub-Wubs fell behind Vinyl, allowing her to lead. She walked slowly, calling out every little branch, root, stump or stone in their path.
“Watch out, man. Root in the path.” she said.
“Yeah, I know.” said Sir Wub-Wubs, stepping over it easily. “You don’t have to point it out.”
“Sorry. I just thought that since you were blind, you’d need a little help moving through this greenery.”
“I’m not blind.” said Wub-Wubs, rolling his eyes. “I just can’t see.”
“I thought that’s what blind meant.”
“Yeah, you think a lot of incorrect thoughts, which is why mares shouldn’t be thinking at all. Leave that to the stallions.”
“That’s kinda old-fashioned, don’t you think? But what does that mean? You’re not blind but you can’t see?”
“To say I was blind would imply that I have no sight, which isn’t true. I can’t see the way you do, but I still have a sort of sight.”
“What do you mean, ‘a sort of’ sight?”
“All things have a very faint, almost unidentifiable electric current. When these things touch the ground, they close a circuit.” explained Wub-Wubs. “The electric currents travel through the earth and to my hooves, where I sense them and make note of their origins. I can ‘see’ in absolute darkness, as well as through walls. In a way, my vision is much better than yours. For example, I bet you didn’t realise that your equipment will come into view in four more steps.”
Sure enough, a few steps later and Vinyl could see her beloved equipment, her speaker cart with her laptop, microphone, headphones, and keyboard. She rushed over as soon as she saw it and started adjusting her speakers.
“So, you drag all of this out here whenever you have a project you need to finish?” asked Wub-Wubs.
“Pretty much.” answered Vinyl. She finished up with speakers and proceeded to open her laptop. She clicked around on the mousepad and opened up the mix, PON-3 FINAL3. She clicked play and the speakers began to pour out the sound of bass.
“Great. Now quick, give me your hoof.” said Wub-Wubs.
“I dunno. Holding hooves with a blind stranger in the forest doesn’t sound safe.” joked Vinyl, grabbing Wub-Wubs hoof in her own. “What if you take advantage of me?”
“Sorry, Scratch, but your not my type.” said Wub-Wubs as the beat progressed. Then, the electronics kicked in. It was a pretty solid beat, four beats in a row followed by three loud PEWMS!
“Really? Then why were you asking me to prostitute for you?”
“I wasn’t. I thought you were offering and I was declining.”
“Why would I offer that?” asked Vinyl.
“Well, that’s one of the few things mares are good at. Only three readily come to mind: Cooking, cleaning, sex.”
The beat sped up, and the PEWMS became more frequent.
“That’s a terrible outlook. Mares are good at tons of stuff, just as much as stallions. Take a look at this mix for example. This drop is sick.”
The beat stopped for a few seconds, then a loud, laser-esque sound fired from the speakers. Sir Wub-Wubs was enveloped in an electric blue aura, which swirled around him. He floated off of the ground as the energy consumed him, causing his eyes to glow as bright as the stars in the night sky. Slowly onto his back faded a cape, a flowing, lavender cape, the same color as his mane. As the song faded out, so too did the aura, slowly settling Wub-Wubs onto the ground. He spread the cape wide and checked it for inner pockets.
“Hm. Not completely useless, then. A couple throwing knives, a dagger, and a pretty nice cape.” he muttered.
“What’d you think of the track?” asked Vinyl. “Pretty swanky, huh?”
“I could do better.” he said. “Well, it’s been fun, but you’ve repaid your debt and now you can go home.”
“What happened to taking me to the next town?”
“I was hoping you’d forget. Very well, Scratch, come along. I have important business to see to on behalf of Lady Celestia and Lady Luna and I won’t let you hold me back.”
He began to trot forward with Vinyl following close behind. She was very confused and demanded answers.
“What was that?” she asked.
“I needed a sample of popular music to manufacture some supplies with.” explained Wub-Wubs. “I’ll need all I can get if I am correct in my suspicions.”
“Who exactly are you?”
“Call me Sir Wub-Wubs.”
“Yeah, but what’s your real name? That can’t be what’s on your birth certificate.”
“It’s Sir Wub-Wubs.” he answered stubbornly.
“You know my name.” she pointed out.
“Not because I wanted to. I was just trying to get you out of my mane so that I can complete this quest.”
“What exactly is the quest?”
“A shroud of darkness is blanketing Equestria. A shroud of dark, evil magic. A Shout. It’s creating Whispers which are wreaking havoc. Lady Celestia and Lady Luna have sent me to deal with it.”
“Oh, and another thing. What’s with the whole ‘Lady’ thing? Why not just Princess? They don’t even make us call them Princess very much, just for ceremonies and junk.”
“I’ve known and served them since before they were princesses and were noble mares, aka Ladies. I use it as a sign of elevated respect, something you should learn.” growled Wub-Wubs, pushing forward through the brush.
“Why are you so mad?” asked Vinyl.
“I’ve just been woken from my thousand year nap to destroy a powerful evil. I’m not mad, I’m being professional.”
“Nah, you’re mad. I know professional. Octi is professional. You’re pissed.”
“Octi?” asked Wub-Wubs.
“My friend Octavia. She can be a stickler, but she’s lot’s of fun if you get her in the right mood.”
“Octavia? Octavia what?”
“Melody. Why? You know her?”
“Not her. Her name. That’s a Muusist name.” said Wub-Wubs excitedly. “I might have to keep you around for a while longer, Scratch.”
“What’s a Muusist?”
“Long ago, before this land was Equestria, it was known as Muussa. The ponies who lived there were Muusists. They were the most powerful unicorns ever produced.” said Wub-Wubs, taking a short break. “Typical unicorns fight with spells, but the Muusists fought with song. Their music could raise mountains and dry oceans and burn forests, all in a matter seconds.”
“What happened to them?”
“Themselves.” he said. “They warred against each other and they all eventually died off. For the most part, anyway. But ‘Octavia’ and ‘Melody’ are Mussist names, so she might be a descendant. If she is part Muusist, I have to see her.”
“Why?” asked Vinyl. “Why do you care about these Muusists?”
“It’s time for us to go, Scratch.” said Wub-Wubs, ignoring the question. “We’ve been waiting for a little too long. Let’s go.”
He broke into a swift trot, leaving his back facing Vinyl. He wiped his silent tears from his face and pushed the thoughts of Muussa and it’s people out of his head. Now was not the time for tears. Now was the time for action.
“What am I crying for?” he muttered. “Only mares let their emotions take control like this. I am better than that.”
“Hey, Wubs.” said Vinyl. “I just wanted to say thanks again. You know, for saving me back there. I’m lucky to have a friend like you.”
“Yeah. Friend.” he said, rolling his unseeing eyes.
“But, you know, if we are friends, you should at least tell me your name.”
“Listen here, Vinyl Scratch. I am not meant to be here talking to you. I am supposed to be saving Equestria, something I can’t do if I have a dim mare such as yourself pestering me about irrelevancies such as my name!” he exploded. “I will tell you one, final time. I am Sir Wub-Wubs, and that’s all I will ever be! This is the last I want to hear about it!”
“Is it embarrassing?” she asked, disregarding his rage. “Is it like, a filly name? Oh my gosh, is your name Twinkle Glitter? Cause if it is, I feel for you. I’m a chick, and even I’d be embarrassed if my name was Twinkle Glitter.”
“If it wasn’t for the Code of Chivalry.” muttered Wub-Wubs.
“Yo, Wubs. There’s a stump in the path. Watch your step.” said Vinyl.
“I know. I told you already. I can see better than you can. My vision, although unconventional, is second to none.” said Wub-Wubs. “Nothing can take me by surprise. I see everything coming, often bef-.”
A grey blur smashed into Wub-Wubs, cutting off his sentence and knocking him to the ground. Wub-Wubs was dazed and confused, truly blinded now that his hooves were off of the ground.
“Didn’t see that coming.” said Vinyl.
“What in Tartarus was that?!” he asked, scrambling to his hooves in outrage.
“Whoops. My bad.” said the blur, a grey pegasus. Her voice was goofy and a little slurred, but she seemed genuinely sorry. “I was just trying to deliver this to Appleloosa, but I ended up in Ponyville. I just don’t know what went wrong.”