Chapter Two: Moving On
In unison my five friends plus Scootaloo stood up and moved in front of me the instant Pinkie Pie finished screaming. They stood resolute, a defensive barrier that melted my heart and increased my love for them tenfold. My old group of friends met my new group of friends, and I was thankfully behind the second group and not caught in between like in most cliches. These guys directly in front of me knew how much pain the other group had put me through, and apparently they would be damned before seeing it happen again, especially so soon after getting back to my beloved home. I hadn't told Granny Smith or Apple Bloom yet, mainly because I knew it would break their hearts, but I had been planning on finding an apartment ever since the third month went by with still no sign of Applejack. I had already purchased an apartment, and was going to begin packing my stuff once I got back to the farm. I knew Derpy and Sunset would definitely lend me a hand, so it wouldn't be too hard to move out in one night, right?
“Hey! What are you doing? I wanna see Dashie, lemme through!” Pinkie Pie's demand brought me back to the present, and even as I drew breath to speak Sunset rose to my defense.
“Really? Huh, you didn't seem too bent on seeing her while she was in recovery, did you? Why the sudden determination? Where was that determination when she needed it most?” Her questions left Pinkie's eyes brimming with tears and prompted Rarity to stomp forward and berate the leather-clad girl before her.
“How dare you be so high-and-mighty! You are just as much as fault as we all are, however!” The fashionista huffed and stomped her foot as she finished speaking, her face flushing comically.
“Actually, Rarity, Sunset was there. Through all of it. She was by side from the moment the nurses let her to the moment they absolutely wouldn't. She slept beside me when I got scared, she kept me smiling, and she kept me believing in the possibility that my best friends would come and visit at any moment. She kept me out of a dark spiral of depression and helped me re-integrate myself into civilian life.
“She brought me here after my fight with Applejack because she is a real friend that would never abandon me in a time of need. She knows things about me now that none of you ever bothered to know. Without her, I definitely wouldn't be here. And she thinks that sentiment is undeserved. She's a true friend. Everyone standing before you five has been there for me throughout my recovery and my fight against depression.
“Your families all came to visit me numerous times and they never once gave me a message from you guys, and I'd ask them to give you guys one and they'd come back saying there was no response. I tried to overdose, and almost died, but Bon-Bon and Lyra told me stories about what possibilities might lie ahead for me in the future, so I listened to them and here I am.
“I don't want to see any of you girls for awhile, and while I'm at the farm later packing my things, I don't want you to be there, Applejack. I getting an apartment, so I'm moving out tonight. All of you girls give love to your respective family members for me, okay?” I finished speaking and grabbed my crutches, hobbling painfully out the door.
The others moved with me, keeping my old friends at bay as I exited the Steakhouse. I was helped into Sunset's car and she drove me and Scoots back to the farm; we were followed by Derpy, Vinyl, Bon-Bon and Lyra. The drive was quiet, but Scoots held tightly onto my arm and wrist from the back seat like her little life depended on it. I hadn't told her yet, but three days ago I had legally adopted her so I would have full custody over her. She was now, legally, my daughter, and I knew she would absolutely fall in love with this development, as she had actively called me “Mom” long before now. I had fantasized quite often about what life would be like: two girls taking on the world, a mother and her daughter. I hoped to get a good job and then apply for my Air Force pension. I was aware of how difficult day-to-day life would be, because despite my long recovery and re-integration, I was still a little awkward. When Sunset got me back to the Apple Family Ranch I, flanked by my five friends and Scootaloo, entered the homestead, ready to begin packing. The lights were turned out, so as I walked past them I turned them on-
“SURPRISE!!! WELCOME HOME!!!” The Apple Family all jumped up and screamed these words, causing my bewildered heart to melt from the love I felt. They all smiled big and warm at me, but their eyes began to show confusion as they noticed I was dressed like a civilian.
“Oh, right, I already got back. Sunset took me out to eat at Joe's Steakhouse. Granny Smith, you remember Derpy Hooves, right?” I asked, shoving DT forward despite his shaking his head no. Granny Smith smiled and took his face in her hands, kissing his forehead despite having to pull him down to do so.
“Miss Dash?” A deep voice asked me, and turning around I smiled at Big MacIntosh. He smiled back, and scratched awkwardly at the back of his neck, “Um...where's mah sister? She said she was gunna go lookin' fer ya, but she ain't back 'n yet you are.”
“Oh, Big Mac....um....Applejack and I aren't....we aren't friends anymore. Not for now, at least. I can't get over their abandoning me just like that, you know?” I said this nervously, looking fearfully into his eyes and expecting to find a disappointed look. I was surprised, however, by his gentle smile, a smile shared by the rest of the Apple Family. They seemed to know something about Applejack that I didn't, so I stomped disrespectfully up to Granny Smith and grabbed her by the shoulders, pulling her away from Derpy, “What? Why didn't she come see me? Answer, old woman!” I yelled, overwhelmed by the pain from standing and the confusion today had brought I was out of patience. Every member of the family looked at me like I'd just committed blasphemy, but Granny Smith waved each one back calmly. She took my hands in hers, eyes warm and comforting.
“Now listen here, child. Y'all have ev'ry right ta be upset, but that don't mean ya can take it out on us. We're not the ones that caused ya s'much pain, youngin'. That would be my granddaughter and yer friends. We was all here fer ya. Come with me, sugar plum. Ah have summin I wan' ta show ya.” Granny Smith's voice was gentle and loving, proving she did see me as a surrogate granddaughter, just like I'd hoped.
“Okay. Lead the way, Granny. Could you get my stuff?” I asked Derpy, who nodded and waved to the others that it was time to get my stuff packed. They all disappeared in the general direction of my bedroom, and I turned back around to find Granny walking into the dining room. Damn that lady was quick. I followed after excitedly, almost bouncing as my mind reeled from the numerous possibilities. Entering the dining room I saw Granny Smith sitting on the window bench, a small item in her hands. It was a box, and I walked forward eagerly, taking a seat beside her.
“Now listen t'me, Rainbow Dash, Ah know ya 'member yer Ma 'n Pa, right? Y'all 'member how happy them two were. Well, 'fore they divorced, yer Pa came ta me 'n handed me this here box. He asked me that if y'all was like him when ya were old enough, would Ah please give this t'ya. Well, Ah think yer like him, Rainbow Dash. Yer brave, lovin', loyal, confident, defiant, independent, strong, and beautiful. You would make yer mother jealous, and yer father feel inadequate. You are exactly what yer parents wanted ever since they first told my daughter that yer mother was pregnant.
“They were best friends, yer mother and mah daughter. Grew up right here in High Pointe, same as you and Applejack. My baby's name was Sweet Apple, and she lived up ta her name s'well. Yer mother was Rain Blossom, 'n yer Pa was Rainbow Blitz. Little Sweet Apple was the kindest, warmest little girl you ever did meet. She was able ta real in yer Ma real good, and they told each other everythin'. When they went to college, ya'd think th' world was endin'! They cried and cried fer days while yer Pa and Sweet Apple's husban' tried to get sense back inta them. Those four years were somethin' I'll never forget. This place, High Pointe in general, was s'quiet without 'em.
“When they came back, yer mother dropped the bombshell that she was pregnant, and the next day evr'y one in town knew it. The entire town showed up fer th' baby shower! You were the most spoiled baby in existence! More spoiled than the Princesses!” Granny took this moment to laugh obscenely, and I laughed with her, swept up in the thrall of her story. She was telling me everything I'd ever wanted to know.
“But....y'all know th' sayin', 'All good things must come ta an end,' right? Well....this was no exception. Ya see....Rainbow Dash, yer Pa thought he....he wasn't yer real father. He fig'red yer mother had got with sumone else while they'd broke up, and had no idea she was pregnant until she 'n yer Pa were already back together,” She stopped for a moment to let me process this, and I slumped against the counter, thinking it all over. I motioned for her to continue, “She told him that wasn' true. Dashie, yer Pa stayed right with her. Believed her right away, 'n was there when y'all was born. He nev'r left yer mother.
“The heartache came when mah daughter....Sweet Apple didn' believe that yer mother was tellin' th' truth. In bad faith, she tried ta git yer Pa ta run a DNA test with y'all. He said no, but she got one by usin' one o' yer hairs 'n one o' his. She found out that yer mother had lied. He wasn' yer Pa, 'n Sweet Apple....Sweet Apple made sure evr'y one knew it. Y'all was only four.” My eyes widened and I stared at her, shocked beyond belief. I had no idea how to process that. My Mom's best friend had betrayed her so horribly....'How could Sweet Apple do something like that?'
“What happened next?” I asked Granny Smith, my heart aching for my mother and father.
“Well....yer Pa moved back ta Seattle after th' divorce. Yer mother was heartbroken, thinkin' she'd nev'r see him 'gain. However....he was in th' papers two weeks later. He'd joined th' Air Force, followin' the dream he'd had since boyhood. When y'all turned twelve we saw him 'gain, durin' a flight show. Y'all loved 'em s'much, 'n yer mother loved ta spoil y'all. He was a member of the Blue Angels, yer favorite flight team. That was too much fer her ta take, Ah think. Her death wasn' suicide. When she got back home, she dropped y'all off at my house 'n told me she needed ta git drunk. Ah unlocked the cellar, 'n th' next mornin' I found her there, dead on th' floor from overdosin' on th' alcohol.” Her story came to a close, and my heart plummeted. My parents had died apart and miserable, or at least my mother had.
“What about-” I began, but Granny talked over me.
“Yer Pa?” she sighed, chewing on her lips, “He....he died during a flight show. He was distracted that day, as he'd been ta yer mother's funeral a few days b'fore. He crashed int'another jet 'n....died. Ah'm so sorry I didn't tell y'all what happened t'him, but Ah knew that if Ah did it might make you give up on your dream o' flyin'. Ah didn't want that, so Ah told ya he died but Ah wasn't too sure how exactly.”
“I....I'm not mad, Granny. It's been too long and I've got too much going on to be mad about something like this. Actually, I'm glad you didn't tell me how he died, because then you would have had to explain all of this to me as well. So thank you for not being entirely honest, and for choosing today to finally come clean. I really needed to hear something about something else today. So...Mom and Sweet Apple never made up?”
“Never. Sweets and Rain died with a major loose-end 'tween 'em. S'why Ah want ta see you 'n Applejack make up. Ah don't know what that girl was thinkin' when she blew off comin' ta see ya, but Ah will def'nily find out tonight. Would y'all like me ta tell ya what I find?” Granny Smith smiled and caressed my cheek gently, my close closing a little. I kissed her forehead.
“No, Granny, I'll talk to her about it tomorrow. I have to go looking for an apartment, now, though....” I said this awkwardly, but Granny began laughing long and hard. Something had clearly amused her, and I looked at her questioningly, “What?”
“Well, sugar plum, you're father left me this,” she handed it to me, and I recognized my old house keys, the ones the social worker had taken from me when I moved to the Apple Family Ranch after my mother died. I stared at it in awe, my eyes wider than saucers.
“Gran....what....?” I couldn't even get the words out. I was just shocked into silence as she placed it in my waiting hands.
“Yer Pa wanted ya ta have his old place. 'N he wanted y'all ta have this as well,” as she spoke Granny Smith reached into her back pocket and extracted a small black box. The box was a familiar to sight to me, having watched romantic movies with Scootaloo and the feisty girl's friends on many occasions, “This was yer mother's weddin' ring, youngin. Cherish it and take good care o' it, ya hear?”
I nodded, taking both objects and holding them like they were liable to break apart at the slightest fumble. These items were so precious I just wanted to stare at them forever. I was moving into Mom and Dad's house, my old house, and was taking Mom's wedding ring with me. I looked from the objects in my shaking hands to Granny Smith and back, still processing.
“I....Granny, thank you so much!! Wow! I'm moving back home! That'll put me just inside the town. So I'll be only about 30 minutes away. Wow. It'll feel so weird waking up and not working for hours....” my fear and uncertainty was known, as Granny Smith was always able to see right through me.
“Sugar plum, jes 'cause y'all won't live here no more don't mean y'all can't come visit 'n work,” her words and implication were gentle and she sounded amused. I could tell she really wanted to slap the back of my head like the good ole days, but she restrained herself.
“Oh. Right. Eheh...sorry, I just...I can't believe this! I'm moving back home!” I grabbed the elderly woman and bear-hugged her, taking in the scent of homemade vanilla that she somehow possessed. Her bony arms went around me as well, and we stayed like that for a long time. It was me who pulled away first, and my shining eyes met her amused ones as I did so. I smiled wide and headed back out of the kitchen, getting my things and helping the others load up Sunset's car. On my last run back inside began, I took my time and reflected on the massive chunk of my life that had been spent here. My eyes welled up with fat and hot tears as I walked into the front hallway, and I didn't brush them away; rather, I let them roll down my cheeks. Approaching my bedroom for what I perceived to be the last time, I observed it's emptiness and leaned against the doorframe for awhile, gazing into the bedroom and marveling at how it seemed like no one had ever lived here at all.
“Looks strange, don't it?” a high-pitched voice, probably belonging to a little girl, with a country twang came from directly beside me, and I jumped a little at first, wincing as the action caused me to balance lightly on my hurt leg, “Oh, sahrry, Dash. Didn' mean ta startle ya. Ah jes...can't believe y'all're ac'chly movin. Ah don't want ya ta leave...y'all jes got back...” her voice wavered at the end, and she sniffed several times as her emotions overtook her. Hearing the little girl cry broke my heart, and I painfully got down on one knee, my hurt leg stretched out behind me, and hugged the red-head close to my chest. She nestled into my chest, sniffing and shaking from her sadness.
“Hey, whoa there, A.B. I'm not really going anywhere, you know that, right? I'm still going to be in High Pointe, I'm still going to come and visit, and I'll still be working around the ranch and the orchard. Just...not for a few weeks. I want to be away from....Applejack. So I think I'll stay in town and at home, try and unwind. I have about three more weeks on these crutches, then I'm good. We can still hang out and all that, I just won't be living here.” I explained all of this in a kind voice, rubbing her back and holding the back of her head, gently combing my fingers through her hair. As her sniffing and shaking came to an end, Apple Bloom seemed to realize something and pulled back fractionally.
“Ya changed,” she stated simply, her adorable light-orange eyes widening by the second, “What happened 'tween y'all 'n mah sister?” I was deeply confused by her question, and wondered what brought it on. Unless she'd overheard my conversation with Granny Smith, which was likely.
“Um...n-nothing happened between us, what makes you ask?” I smiled nonchalantly, though I believe it came off as more of a grimace. Apple Bloom motioned for me to stand, coming over to help as I did so. The process was slow and painful and extremely humbling, but I eventually got to my feet. Apple Bloom ushered me inside the empty room, and closed and locked the door behind us. I reached the bed and turned around to face her, cocking an eyebrow impatiently.
“Ah know sumthin' happened 'tween you an' mah sister, and if it's what Ah think it is then Ah can help y'all move on,” Apple Bloom stated this proposition in much the same way as a negotiator would, laying everything down on the table at the get-go and telling me to process it all. I scoffed at her last words, knowing it would take more than the logic of a little girl to change her opinion of Applejack at this moment.
“Listen, squirt, not that I think you don't understand things, but I really don't think you can help,” I said simply, careful to keep my voice in neutral. I didn't want to anger her or upset her, but I also wanted her to understand that I didn't want her help with this. Of course, I should have known better than to think Apple Bloom would actually listen to me, and if I didn't let her help in the open then she, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo would do it anyway, only without telling me; this had lead to many an embarrassing situation in the past. I found myself imagining all the different things that could go wrong if I refused her help, and quickly decided that despite her next response, I would accept.
“Oh really? Well, Ah think that Applejack has romantic feelin's fer y'all, an' y'all feel the same way. Ah think y'all had a fallin' out 'fore ya left, an' that's why y'all decided ta go in th' first place. Ah also know that Applejack didn't come ta see ya 'cause she wasn't in High Pointe at th' tahm news o' yer injury reached th' town.Whether she knew or not is 'side the point, she prob'ly couldn't get 'way from whatever it was.” Apple Bloom's words knocked the air out of my lungs, leaving me staring at her open-mouthed and wide-eyed. She smirked arrogantly, crossed her arms sassily, and curtsied sarcastically. She's been spending too much time around Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, I imagined. I nodded a few times, trying to piece together an intelligent response.
“Well...I mean...er...see...the thing is...what had happened was...oh fuck it. You're right, Apple Bloom. You're right. You got me. Applejack and I...we were dating for awhile. I don't want to hide that anymore. It was her idea, and I guess I should have known from that moment that something was off, but I didn't and look where it's taken me.
“This isn't how I wanted to end up. I wanted to be with AJ, grow up some more, go to college, get married, adopt a kid...once the kid is old enoughI would then audition for the Blue Angels...I wanted to be happy and be with Applejack. None of that can happen now. I hate her, and I deserve to hate her. I'm allowed to hate her. The way she broke up with me...through a letter left tacked on the jar that we'd been saving money in to one day buy an apartment in High Pointe proper...I still have that fucking money. Kept in my pocket the entire time I was deployed.
“She didn't even show up when I got back, and didn't come to see me a single time I was in the hospital. Each time I asked you guys to ask my 'friends' to come and see me, you all said none of them responded or anything. Then I get back and they all act like nothing's wrong? Bullshit!
“You know what? Whether she could get away or not, she should have gotten away, regardless of the consequences. I've done that for each of them countless times. My friends come first, no matter what!” I declared, shifting on the crutches for the umpteenth time. I growled and looked down, staring at my old and worn boots.
“Yer not with 'em right now,” Apple Bloom pointed out gently, her childish logic making me think more than I did when around people my age or older. I sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed, setting the crutches to the side and burying my head in my hands. Apple Bloom came over and rested her head on my lap, drawing my fingers to mess with her hair. She was so much like her sister in this regard, wanting her hair to be messed with and wanting to cuddle. She and her older both loved proximity with their loved ones, apparently an old Apple trait. Perhaps loneliness and depression was a Dash family trait, as my father and mother both seemed to have been lonely a lot.
“No, I'm not. Because they're not my friends for the moment. They are all exceptions because right now I hate them. I don't know for how long it will last, but I want nothing to do with them,” I explained this quietly, looking down but high enough to avoid Apple Bloom's eyes, “In fact, once I leave here, I'm going to be living in my parents' old house here in High Pointe.”
“Oh...that's...cool. That seems really, really cool,” Apple Bloom said sincerely, and I laughed and nodded.
“Yes, it really is,” an hour later I found myself exiting my old room, Apple Bloom asleep on the bed. I exited the farmhouse, giving each of the still-partying Apples a hug as I went, and closed the door behind me. My friends were waiting for me, the vehicles packed and ready to go. I frowned as I limped away from the door, the clatter of my crutches being the loudest sound out here. I entered Sunset Shimmer's car, with her help of course, watching as we drove up the dirt road and under a large wooden arch, painted white. A large red and wooden apple sat in dead-center of the arch, signifying this as Apple family territory.
I was blind to it at the time, but I had just crossed from one part of my life, a part full of constant company and relative freedom, into another part, a part full of great uncertainty and moderate solitude. It took me a long while to understand the significance of leaving that orchard behind.