So, Diamond Dogs dare piss me off? They took Ashley and try to use her as slave? Not on my Celestia-damned watch! I gotta sneak in an take these mutts out and rescue Ashley before these mutts do something. If I get caught…I will whine their ears off…I can do a good Rarity impression…STAY BACK I GOT A RARITY WHINING VOICE AND I AIN'T AFRAID TO USE IT!!
You know, just once can I go ten seconds without one of my friends being threatened, bucking diamond dogs!
How long is this “Kidnap Lightning Bolt’s friends till he loses his insanity” game going to last? You see, I think I figured out the villain motivation…this precise Bullshit! The universe does not leave us alone and now we want control of it. IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!!
Oh and I’d like you to know, the next villain that comes along and kidnaps any of my friends is going straight for the Death Penalty.
So where was I…oh right! About to choke a diamond dog to maintain stealth in 3…2…1….CHOCKED! HAHAHA!...I am enjoying this way too much than I should.
You know, I would drag their bodies and gain badflank points but now is not the time. Especially when I see another pair with some keys in hand…sounds like I gotta play Follow the leader and let me warn you, I’m a freaking pro. In fact why isn’t that my special talent, I’d make those Major League Gaming flankholes look like amateurs anyday. And let’s face it, half of them are clearly fake pussies.
Now, I better make this fast before this stink kills me, seriously? DO THESE GUYS SHOWER? Even at least once a week would not smell this bad!
Celestia examined the house with her own Celestial eyes (I know that doesn’t make sense, just go with it…like 80% of the Author’s life), it was not akin to anything she ever has seen on this planet precisely. But it did follow a house structure rule like in Equestria.
But inside, The house from Earth held things that intrigued the solar Princess. She has seen many thing in her years but some of these objects were like some Holy futuristic fantasy out of a Power Pony comic.
To Lightning Bolt, these objects were merely everyday objects as simple as a table, but to Princess Celestia, Princess Twilight and co., these were like some Ancient Relics uncovered.
Celestia had told the others not to touch anything until Lightning Bolt returns as something could happen but she could sense Twilight’s excitement much like Pinkie Pie at the prospect of a Party. Celestia chuckled inwardly at the thought of Pinkie throwing this Ashley a party if she’s here.
But still, Celestia remained worried…but fascinated at the same time….
Oh, this is too easy, and dogs were supposed to have better hearing than us…I guess that didn’t apply to Diamond Dogs. I followed the dogs right to the prison cells.
“So, this creature, think she’ll be useful digging gems?” One dog asked
“Maybe, this creature sure can slap, those “Fingers” of hers can do some work for sure” Dog 2 says
I climbed to a higher point in the cave, it’s narrow but it’ll stay out of sight of any dogs coming from behind. Now…how to get those keys…I dunno, but the cells gotta be round the corner.
“Never seen anything like her, have you Hound?” Dog 1 asks
“Nope, I don’t even know what they call themselves” Hound says
“Yeah, but listen, we’ll figure out a use for her tomorrow so we can get more diamonds” Dog 1 says
They round the corner and I see a small room with…ASHLEY!!!! Son of a buck she’s here! But also capturing my notice was a few ponies locked up, one looked to be a Royal Guard. Guess I gotta free them too.
“I’ll see ya round, Mutt. I’m going to get something to eat, take real good care of the prisoners” Hound says
“Sure thing, have a good one” Mutt says
“That’s right, you better run” I muttered
Typical idiots, leave one dog to guard the prisoners to do your dirty work, mind you, this cave is really only about 6 rooms wide, nothing compared to the one Rarity got kidnapped at.
I looked down and saw Ashley in tears, awww Tartarus no! I’ll get the other ponies out and if that royal guard still has magic, he could help us if we get some heat.
Well….here goes…LEEEEEOOOOOOOO-nah buck it!
WHAM!
All bark and no bite you…now then, The brave knight known Sir Gavin, will rescue the ponies and fair Ashley from Prison…with badflank music in the background.
“Wassup Ashley?” I greeted Ashley
“Wha-? How do you know my name?” Ashley asked in surprise
“Don’t you recognize my voice, I’ve been missing for over a year” I gave an obvious clue
“G-Gavin…no way! That can’t be you” Ashley said
“Yep, this place turned me into a Pony, nice tail by the way” I said casually
Yeah, I noticed Ashley’s Purple tail sticking out of he backside
“So you’re saying…I’m turning into a pony?” Ashley asked after a bit.
“Yeah, sort of inevitable, but you’re not going through this alone, this I promise” I said confidently
I went to other cell and freed the 5 ponies including the guard and we gathered together.
“Alright, anypony proficient with defensive or offensive spells?” I asked
“Me” answered the guard
“Okay, I want you front with me in case we run into heat” I ordered
“You’re the boss” The guard says
“Alright, let’s get the buck out of here!” I said
We walked with no problems out of the small cave until…wait…
“Stop right there! He’s Escaping with the prisoners” one dog yelled
Son of a buck! Can’t these dogs learn when to heel?
“Just go to Ponyville, I’ll be there in ten minutes” I ordered everypony with me
Thankfully no questions were asked and they did what they were told, including Ashley. I knew she could trust me.
“Now then, it seems we were at a disagreement, Gentledogs?” I said
“Those were our Prisoners” One dog barked
“And that was my best friend you kidnapped, oh and the innocent ponies too. Ah, and the guard too, you best be thankful Celestia didn’t find you instead of me” I shot back
“Too bad, we need slaves and there’s nothing you can do about it” A second dog said
You’re kidding? You’re kidding right? Do these fools know I’m an alicorn…sure I only know fireballs but still. HELLO? FREAKING EMBODIMENT OF GOD OVER HERE! Oh well...their loss...
“Hahaha…AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh this is too rich, you don’t have any idea with who you’re bucking with do you?” I laughed hard
“Enough, get him boys” The first dog said
Let’s see four of them, one me. I should make this fair and tie my wings and hoofs behind my back but…they kidnapped my friend so I say…NAH!
“What’s Grey, furry, smells like Roast Dog and has red all over?” I asked as they approached me
I fired my fireball as a sort of Impact Grenade right into the pack of them as it exploded on them and knocked them all senseless with burns to their fur.
“Down boy! And so you know, The answer was that right there, but I’ll mark you on your effort for at least trying” I said as I walked away
Now, back to the house, if I know Celestia, she’ll be there and she may have answers and some reunited ponies…