//------------------------------// // The Battle of Saddle Lake // Story: The Siege of Castle Harmony // by AJ Aficionado //------------------------------// Once upon a time in Maregolia, the nomadic earth pony tribes of the Neighsiatic Steppe were in a state of near-constant war. With harsh winters in the north and arid deserts in the south making permanent settlements in those regions impossible, food could only be obtained from the more fertile and temperate central part of the territory, and no tribe could utterly dominate it. Stallions were especially prized for their superior strength and were often captured and used as slaves on the arable land which existed. Genghis Hoof, leader of the Maregol tribe, found a new use for them as mounts. Armed with sturdy, foreleg-mounted crossbows, the Maregol mares rode on the backs of captured stallions to victory after victory. The rapidly swelling armies of the Overmare would eventually unite the entire territory and threaten to conquer the entire East Continent. The secret to the Overmare’s success was not only a matter of sheer numbers but the instinctive tendency of the defending armies to hesitate to harm stallions. The sight of the defender’s source of future generations riding into battle against them crushed the souls of many a foe without a single shot in anger. Despite the desperate conditions under which the tribes had lived, and the peace and prosperity that followed in the conquered lands, she would be widely considered a villain. She built up the largest empire in the history of Terra, and yet nopony sings her praise. While neither I, nor any other Equestrian would ever wish to return to such a dark time; I can’t help but honor her memory for the ingenuity she displayed, and her absolute determination to succeed in the face of all odds. ***** Such a pity they decided not to use homing shots, I thought; knowing full well that unless your name begins with, “Twilight” and ends with “Sparkle,” you’d be useless trying to focus while your enemy charges at you. “Alright ladies, it’s on!” I announced. “One o’clock Tuesday. They’re already planning their victory parade through Ponyville, and it would be a shame to let them go through with it.” “What’s the plan General Linky? Sneak up and put socks over their horns while they’re sleeping?” asked Cherry Berry with a smirk. I had a brief mental image of myself asking Twinkleshine to put a sock on her horn just before the battle. She’d probably do it too, just to be polite. I sighed. It would be a shame to cover up such a fine specimen of unicorn beauty, I thought to myself, before blocking that line of thought from going further. Where in Tartarus did that come from? “Um, actually I was thinking I could ride on your back Cherry. Perhaps your friend, Lily, could ride on your back as well Carrot Top? You two are the strongest mares I know,” I gestured towards the carrot wagon outside. “We can use baskets to carry finished snowballs, allowing us to attack without stopping to pick up snow.” “Sure, that could work. Lily is shorter than me, though it may take her awhile to warm on the idea of being the center of attention on a battlefield,” Carrot Top opined. “Not to mention riding atop another pony’s back.” Cherry Berry gave a low whistle. “Color me impressed, Linky! That’s a pretty clever way of getting around their advantage in rate of fire. It will also make us more difficult to hit.” “Exactly!” I exclaimed, clopping my forehooves together for emphasis. “But wait, it gets better! Since the riders will command so much of the hostile attention on the battlefield, our catapult can be brought up without attracting undue attention. I was thinking a two-pony crew: one to carry the huge snowballs in a cart and fire the catapult, and one to haul the catapult itself, and defend the catapult in case of a sneak attack.” “Why can’t you just think about farming like the rest of us Linky?” Carrot Top said making a face. “Hey, Carrot Top, give your sister a break! It’s a good plan. Well, it is if they can’t watch our maneuvers in the backfield,” Cherry Berry said thoughtfully. “I got that covered too. Their center of the battlefield is lined with snow pillars to obscure the attacker's vision on both sides; this will cover the approach of the catapult, and allow us to rush the center. Once the center is taken, the catapult will be employed to fire at the target behind their trench, and end the battle,” I explained. “Hang on, Linky, won’t the unicorns just position themselves behind the pillars and blast us while we run past?” asked Carrot Top, finally getting into the spirit of the discussion. I considered the implications of what she said for a moment. It would be a good tactic if they knew what was coming, but they didn’t. Still, it’s never a good idea to plan on your enemy being dumb, especially not an enemy that has been training for years. The diagram in my head displayed another potential pitfall in my strategy: the threat of a crossfire after we cleared the midfield obstacles. Then it all came together… I looked around the living room for some paper and one of those awesome, enchanted ink pens that eliminates the need for inkwells. Finally producing both I took the pen in my mouth and sketched out the battlefield with arrows pointing at the halfway points of the long-end of the rectangle. “Not if we hit their flanks,” I said after spitting the pen out. “Each rider will only have to face one direction, and anypony hiding behind a pillar will be struck and called out as the rider passes by. Once the riders reach the clearing, any defenders will have to fall back onto open ground where we can finish them off!” “That’s my Linky: always keeping her mind on the flank,” said Cherry Berry who — having snuck away — picked up a pillow from the sofa with her teeth, and gave me a solid smack on the rump with it. I expected Carrot Top to scold us for the horseplay, but she just gave me a weird sort of smile and headed for the door. “I’ll just be heading to the carrot farm by myself then unless you two can contain yourselves enough to join me?” Cherry and I looked at each for a second, worried. Surely she doesn’t know what we’ve been doing? We both made it an art of keeping our fun times a secret and had nearly two decades of experience. Would she think less of us for it? Certainly not, but the thought of her knowing really bothered me for some reason like she was invading on an intimate detail of both of our lives. “Alright then, Carrothead, lead the way,” I smirked. I took the catapult and left Cherry and Carrot Top to handle the cart with all our supplies. My plan sounded good in my own head, but it relied on training, so train we would. I just hoped the Flower Trio displayed some hidden talent for warfare that nopony has ever known about. ***** The trio hadn’t arrived yet when we made it to the farm. While waiting, we unpacked and got to work setting up our own training grounds. We didn’t have the magic to form the pillars of ice, but we made do by stacking up larger snowballs. Cherry Berry and I planned to build a saddle for the battle itself, but for now, we settled on an old blanket tied to her back to keep me in place. Next, we attached the baskets for carrying the snowballs to a specially modified saddlebag on each end. I could attack with both hooves if I wanted to! Cherry easily held not only my own weight but the snowball load with little strain. Given Carrot Top’s hardiness, she would certainly have no problem at all doing the same. “Enjoying being on top for once Linky?” Cherry Berry quipped, out of earshot of Carrot Top. We wouldn’t be making our earlier mistake twice. “I am, Cherry. I also know you’re going to make me pay for it later,” I replied, running my hoof through her soft, yellow mane, feeling an odd desire all of a sudden to brush it. She trotted across the length of the field, my blanket easily keeping me held in place. I reached down and picked up a snowball and hurled it at a nearby tree, scoring a bullseye on its narrow trunk. I would have no trouble whatsoever launching one snowball per second with precision, devastating any massed ground forces in my path. About an hour after we had arrived, the Flower Trio made their appearance: Roseluck, the most eligible mare in the neighborhood, with pale yellow coat, raspberry mane with light raspberry streaks and chartreuse green eyes; Daisy, who I’ve seen around town but never spoken to, with pale magenta coat, lime mane, and emerald green eyes; and Lily Valley, Carrot Top’s marefriend in training no doubt, with grayish raspberry coat, light amber mane with pale amber highlights, and grayish gold eyes. I also noted that — winter or no — she wore lily blossoms behind her ears. I also couldn’t help but notice she was pretty darn cute; as I watched her eyes take in the snow-covered field like it was the first snow-covered field she had ever seen. “Ah! The new recruits. Come, drink in the glory of battle!” I exclaimed. “My sister means to say, ‘welcome’,” said Carrot Top, who looked at me and rolled her eyes. Turning to Lily Valley, her expression softened. “Lily, I’m so glad you could make it!” Lily smiled bashfully and walked up next to her. “Thanks for inviting me over Carrot Top. I’m Lily Valley, it’s nice to meet you all!” Lily looked up at her friend and received an affectionate nuzzle in return. “The name’s Roseluck. I am disappointed by the lack of stallions, but am nonetheless glad to be here among such fine company,” she said, bowing her head and ears respectfully. “My name is Daisy, but ya’ll already knew that,” said Daisy who reached for saddlebag and pulled out a bag of cereal which she began munching on. “Oh. Where are my manners! Does anypony —” “Nope!” we all replied in unison. “Oh, well — suit yourself then!” she replied, thoroughly nonplussed. “Lily, we could really use another pony to ride on my back. I know it’s asking a lot since you’ll be the one being attacked the most, but you are the shortest mare here, and it would really mean a lot to us,” Carrot Top said sweetly. Oh, Celestia, she’s got it baaaaaaad, I thought to myself, grinning. At least I could be assured of a hefty discount on flowers when the time came. “Yeah, we were just wondering about that —” said Roseluck, gesturing towards myself and Cherry. Lily Valley cut in, “If I’m seen riding one of you, I’ll be worried about more than being attacked by snowballs! Do you realize what this looks like?” she all but cringed. “Oh, Lily! It’s nothing to worry about; we’re all friends here. Just give it a try!” Carrot Top said, with the same honeyed tones, laying down in the snow to let her climb on. She looked into Lily’s eyes with confidence and slowly wore down her inhibitions by sheer force of will. The time spent on her mane and coat probably helped too. Well played, sister. Lily’s ears drooped, and she looked around as if expecting a manticore attack at any moment. Slowly, as Carrot Top’s gaze began to work her over, she crept over to Carrot Top. “Stand over the top of me Lily, I’ll pick you up. We’ll practice with a few laps before we start you throwing snowballs. Just sit on top of the blanket, and you won’t fall off. Trust me!” Carrot Top continued. Lily Valley stood over her friend and finally mounted her. “Our little Lily is finally growing up!” Daisy gushed. ”Oh, they’ll make such beautiful foals!” Lily’s cheeks went bright red. “You —!” she barely managed to say. “No time for that Lily, hang on!” shouted Carrot Top before taking off like a shot. She gave out a whoop and Lily gave out a loud scream as she clung to my sister’s middle for dear life; Roseluck and Daisy laughing fit to burst. “Okay, you two, you’ve had your fun! Time to make yourself useful.” I said, pointing towards the catapult. “Time to teach you, ladies, how to take the castle!” We started walking towards the newly crafted siege engine, ”Not that you need any help in that eh, Roseluck?” “Jealous?” she asked with a wink and a smile. “Not at all, friend! I see plenty of action,” I said proudly. “And yet we’ve never met your stallion. Don’t tell me, he lives in Vanhoover?” joked Roseluck. Beneath me, I could sense Cherry Berry was silently cursing me for even bringing up the subject. I got this one Cherry, I thought to myself, gently patting her side. “Why stick with stallions? There’s an entire world out there just waiting for their chance with me,” I parried, running a hoof through the mane to make my point. “Been waiting awhile haven’t they?” Daisy snarked. “But what does your mount think about all of this, Linky?” Cherry Berry replied with a loud snort. Time to resolve this quickly before Cherry Berry throws me into a snowbank, I thought to myself. “Actually —” “She thinks you’d best worry more about the unicorn action we’ll be getting, then the bedroom action any of us are getting,” Cherry answered for me, somewhat heatedly. I felt my face get hot at the mention of unicorn action but was glad that at least we were back on the subject of fighting, a subject I am intimately familiar with. “She’s right you two. You’ll both have a very important job: ending the fight by striking a target defended by a snow trench.” “How does any of this snowball stuff work anyway? Aren’t we just throwing snow at each other until we tire out?” Daisy asked. “Don’t tell me Carrot Top didn’t explain the rules to you while she was over at your house!” I was going to have to ask that mare about what in the nine circles the four of them had been doing all of yesterday, while I was building a catapult and getting lucky, not necessarily in that order. “To be honest, we didn’t see that much of her, we were…” Daisy started to say. “...Indisposed,” Roseluck added quickly. “If it wouldn’t be too much trouble, could you bring us up to speed then?” Quite the turnabout we had. Now I knew how to avoid any further inquiries into my love life from the likes of them. “Well the idea is the same as dodgeball: strike other ponies with snowballs to take them out of the game. The difference is the ultimate objective: to overrun a heavily defended trench and strike the target beyond it with a snowball or even a hoof to win the game. The catapult serves to scatter the defender, break down her wall, or even win the game by striking the target itself.” “What happens if we get taken out, and the opponent captures our catapult? Wouldn’t they be able to turn it on us with their magic?” Roseluck asked. I made a cocky grin and flexed one of my forehooves. “Not without earth pony strength they couldn’t! Unicorn telekinesis could be focused to load and fire a single shot but doesn’t have the brute force to torque the bucket into place. It’s complicated to explain, but unicorn magic is best suited for delicate manipulation. Pegasi wouldn’t stand a chance of launching it unless they summoned a tornado or something…” “Did you really build this thing yourself?” asked Roseluck, running her hoof over the arm holding the bucket. “Well, Cherry is really the one who did all the hard work, I just did a bit of nailing and painting,” I confessed humbly. Cherry beamed proudly, “I do enjoy working with my hooves!” We arrived at the catapult with a couple of leftover boulder-sized snowballs from our construction of the obstacle course to serve as ammo. “The trick is finding the right place to put the catapult to do the most damage. Then you simply load the bucket” — I dismounted Cherry, and pulled the bucket back into place with my teeth while she loaded it — “and release the pulley to fire.” The arm propelled itself forward with a whoosh and a loud thunk as the arm came to a halt against the backrest. The ball sailed through the air and landed further afield, leaving a lovely crater in the otherwise pristine snowfield where it hit. “Awesome!” the two flower vendors exclaimed. “I certainly think it is! So you gals up for the job then?” I asked rhetorically. “Ohhhhh yeah!” said Daisy giving her friend Rose a hoof bump. “We’ll follow you to Tartarus and back, Linky!” Roseluck added. The three flower fillies had a wonderful rest of the day. Lily got used to the idea of riding around on Carrot Top’s back after a while, and within an hour of nightfall was even practicing the fine art of throwing while riding. Seeing the two of them now laughing and talking as they galloped about, I gave silent thanks to Harmony. She may not always be there for you, but she‘s never far behind. Roseluck and Daisy proved to be quick studies in the field of ballistics. I did get a good laugh watching them trying to move the catapult while the wheel pins secured it to the ground, but took mercy by demonstrating how to remove them before moving the siege engine to a new location. By the end of the day, they had managed to score a bullseye from forty yards; a testament to the accuracy of the weapon and the growing skill of our two budding siege conductors. Cherry and I, who had been snowball fighting every winter, operated perfectly of course. The only issue was the impact crushing the snowballs at the bottom of the basket, and I told Cherry she would have to make an effort to tread as lightly as possible. We also adjusted the load to minimize shaking. It was impossible to not break some of the balls, but over time, we also showed improvement. We also made a point of showing Lily and Carrot Top our findings, to spare them the trouble of learning the hard way later. ***** The next two days seemed to pass quickly. We’d accomplished a lot in a short time, and now had a pair of good riders, as well as an able artillery team. I felt confident in our chances as the appointed hour approached, but no matter how much I believed in our plan, I also knew that no plan survives first contact with the enemy, and our magic-wielding adversaries would have a few tricks up their horns as well. Tuesday came as cold and bright as the last couple of days since the big snow. It was a bit heavier, having melted a bit since, but the conditions were still good. The weather Pegasi already had another storm lined up for the following week, but for now, we still had plenty of snow to play with. We met the unicorns on the field at one, as promised. Sea Swirl, Twinkleshine, Minuette, and Sparkler were joined by two others: Lyra Heartstrings, with her mint coat, cyan mane and tail with a white streak, and gold-colored eyes; and Lemon Hearts — or so I’ve since been told — with a yellow coat, a cerulean mane, and tail with a light-blue streak and raspberry red eyes. Lily and I were mounted on proper saddles designed much like the one Twilight Sparkle is known to use for her dragon assistant, Spike — except with a higher pommel and cantle. Roseluck and Daisy took up the rear with our catapult. Sea Swirl did not look happy. “Just what is it you think you’re doing? Why are you riding each other? And what’s with the contraption?” “It’s called a catapult, Sea Swirl. And we are riding each other so we can hurry up and beat you as quickly as possible,” I said matter-of-factly. Daisy snickered. “I know what it’s called! You didn’t say anything about using machinery or using such a barbaric tactic as riding each other!” Sea Swirl said hotly. “I told you we would use our hooves Sea Swirl, and so we did. You didn’t ask for specific details,” I explained. “Your catapult is an unfair advantage. In return, we get to use homing shots or no deal.” Sea Swirl replied flatly making a swift, slicing motion with her hoof. “Deal!” I exclaimed, quickly offering my hoof to seal the deal. Sea Swirl’s brief expression of apprehension betrayed her as we bumped hooves, replaced quickly by a look of determination. “Okay let’s do this! We’ll start in thirty minutes, I’ll send up sparks to signal the battle’s opening.” She trotted back over to her comrades. “Good luck, Linky!” Twinkleshine shouted in her adorable, high pitched squeaky voice, rearing back on two legs and kicking. She took off to go prepare for the fight. I felt a chill go up my spine completely unrelated to the weather as I waved back. I prayed to the sun, moon, and any other goddess who may have been on duty, to spare me the need to explain what just happened to anypony. “Good luck Linky!” Roseluck squealed in a horrible mockery of Twinkleshine’s voice. “smooch later, ‘kay?” I put my hoof to her muzzle, scrunching it to get her to shut up. “That enough, Rosebutt. Let's get out there and win this!” The other four cheered, and we made preparations for the battle on our side of the field. For the first time, I noted the trench on our side was slightly concave, giving the defenders overlapping fields of fire on the center, but made it so you couldn’t see the other end of the trench. This information would come in handy when the time came. ***** The sparks went up at exactly one o’clock. Carrot Top let out a harsh whinny at the signal and charged directly to the extreme right of the unicorn’s line, using the ice pillars as a screen with Lily in tow. I mirrored her movements on the extreme left. I saw the gap in between the out-of-bounds and the ice pillar and Cherry put on a burst of speed through it, broken snowballs be damned. A green pony appeared in my peripheral vision behind the second pillar of the boundary line; I took aim and threw, the ball connecting with her back. One down. I heard shouting, telekinetically fired snowballs whizzed far left, right and even over our heads, the unicorn defenders unable to focus enough to make their shots home properly. My heart leaped at the realization — they were taken by surprise and in complete disarray! A second pony, I recognized as Lemon Hearts, who was probably sent to scout ahead pulled back right into my path and received a faceful of Maregolian hospitality. Two down. Directly ahead, Lily and I crossed paths having cleared out midfield, and turned towards the trench, running parallel alongside it from opposite sides to strafe the three doomed souls: Minuette, Twinkleshine, and Sea Swirl, the latter just as she was channeling another snowball. I launched the snowball in my hoof as hard as I could in her general direction as all four of us charged, screaming like banshees... It worked! Her courage failed, and her concentration faltered. That split second was all we needed to send the three defenders into hiding behind the icy berm with another barrage of snow. Behind us, the telltale thunk! of our catapult gave the defenders further cause for alarm, the opening salvo clipping the berm in the center of their line and shearing off about a foot of it. “They’re turtling! Aim for the target!” I screamed, turning to face the red and white circular disk that wouldn’t look out of place at a carnival dunking booth. My first and second throws sailed slightly left, and my third was deflected by magic. I’d had just about enough of this hide and go seek crap! “Launch me Cherry! Next pass!” I ordered. “You asked for it Linky!” she replied. While Lily continued her efforts to keep the unicorns heads and horns out of the game, Roseluck and Daisy were creeping closer and closer to the target. I was honestly a bit disappointed they hadn’t scored a hit for us already. They hadn’t taken a single opposing shot all game, and had run of the battlefield, so effective were our mounted attacks. Moving from our right and back to the center, I gave my final order, ”Up and over everypony! Chaaaaaarge!” Cherry aimed me in the direction of the breach formed earlier by the catapult, and put on the brakes, bucking her hips to launch me into a snowbank beyond their trench. I wasted no time. Movement to my left. Minuette, in such a state of shock, didn’t even bother to try to use magic. She just plucked a snowball out of the trench and took aim… Not fast enough. I struck first and scored a direct hit to her torso. Her ears drooped and she bowed out of the fight. Lily Valley and Carrot Top broke through the left side of the berm and presumably had cornered Sea Swirl. Only one left… I crept slowly on three legs towards the far-right end of the trench, my fourth carrying a snowball. I kept as low as possible and stayed close to the wall facing out at the battlefield. Twinkleshine had to be in here and had nowhere to hide. Having seen the trench from the outside, I knew I wasn’t far from the end. The sound of battle grew fainter as I finally reached the edge of the trench, but Twinkleshine was nowhere to be found. Splat! The snowball collided with the wall of the trench right over my head, missing it by less than an inch. “Clever girl!” I shouted, and turned to make her pay for her mistake… A distant ringing of a bell and loud cheers stopped me in my tracks, and the reality of the situation hit me like a ton of weights dropped from a pegasus moving van. “Wait, how in Equestria did you miss me?” Twinkleshine shook her head. “There’s no point. You completely overwhelmed us and drove us back into our trench. You’ve won now. What I want to know is why you didn’t win the battle after you tagged out Minuette? Is that why you followed me, to complete our annihilation?” I wondered if it would be rude to admit she was right. “I just wanted it to be —” “Fair?” she cut in. “That’s not the Maregol way, Linky, and you know it! Those who resist are killed.” “And those who surrender are spared. You seem to have me all figured out, Twinkle,” I conceded with a grin, standing up to brush the snow off my back. Twinkleshine giggled and pointed at my cutie mark. “One gold shoe, and one blue shoe. The golden shoe is the symbol of the Golden Horde: the Maregolian cavalry force that nearly conquered half of Terra.” I nodded. “And the blue shoe is yours truly. I got my cutie mark while reading about Genghis Hoof in school. I got a lot of funny looks for a while, my Dad in particular.” “I suppose no one really wants to live next door to one of the most vicious ponies who has ever lived eh?” she said with a grin. “Ah, I’m not so bad once you get to know me. Just don’t get on my bad side!” I tapped the gold horseshoe in my flank, “or you know what I’ll do!” Twinkleshine closed in on me, her electric blue eyes blazing with want unspoken. “Perhaps I’ll have the honor of being taken by the Overmare of the Maregolians herself someday.” I swallowed hard, my eyes roaming over her magnificent features. Close up, the length of her horn was impossible to ignore. I wondered if having a longer horn made your magic more powerful, and thought of the glorious ways she could use that power. While I stumbled for a witty comeback, she turned away and gave me a very deliberate flag of her tail. “Until we meet again, Genghis Link!” As I stood there — mind filling with licentious images — she walked back towards the sound of jubilation emanating from our side of the field, her hips swaying suggestively. Disappearing from sight, my mind finally snapped back into place. “Hey! Wait up!” I followed lamely in her wake, sincerely thankful nopony was there to witness the event unfold. ***** It turned out the battle had concluded less than a minute ago. Sea Swirl had incredibly fought off both Lily and Carrot Top by tagging Lily out and keeping Carrot Top pinned down with a barrage of magically propelled snowballs. The fight had only ended because our catapult had finally scored a direct hit on the target. “What just happened? Lemon Hearts asked, jumping down into the trench from the gap that was opened up by the catapult. “We just got our flanks handed to us, that’s what happened!” Lyra replied. “Ugh! We didn’t even last two minutes! I’ll never live this down,” said Sea Swirl, covering her face in shame. “We’ll be ready for you next time, earth ponies!” said Twinkleshine cheerfully. “Especially you, Linky!” she whispered silkily in my ear. I felt my face warm and my knees wobble. “Did you see that amazing shot Linky? We totally saved your flanks down there!” Roseluck said proudly, throwing a hoof around her friend Daisy. I was about to point out how long it took but thought better of it. They would only improve with time, and their inability to strike the target sooner kept me from getting busted. “I’m buying you two a drink! Good show!” I replied. The two flower ponies cheered. “And where were you, fearless leader?” teased Cherry Berry. “I launched you into the trench not far from the target.” “I got pinned down by Twinkleshine,” I replied truthfully, though no one needed to know the context behind my statement. “She’s right; I did everything I could to stop her, but she struck me down,” Twinkleshine chimed in. “Wow, Linky, that makes four kills for you. Way to go!” Cherry Berry gave me a good-natured jab. “Let’s go drink.” “Linky…” I turned at the sound of my name and saw Sea Swirl, who was lagging back from the departing unicorns. “Forgive my rudeness earlier. You all fought well and earned your victory. We will not forget this humiliation, and when you face us again, we will not be so easily pushed aside.” Sea Swirl bowed respectfully, speaking in a strangely solemn tone. I nodded and answered in kind. “Apology accepted, Sea Swirl. We will train until that day, and anticipate a spirited contest.” I returned the bow. “As for you earth ponies, clear your schedules for tonight, because we’re going drinking!” Roseluck, Cherry Berry, and Carrot Top cheered; Lily Valley suddenly looked worried. Daisy jumped up on two legs and shouted, “Yeaaaaaaaaaah!” I knew then who to hide the booze from when the gang came over to visit. ***** “Remember to keep an eye on Roseluck, ladies,” Daisy warned us as we trudged back across town in the waning daylight. “She can get a bit persuasive to the stallions after a few drinks, so you’ll want to grab one quick before she takes all of them.” “You’re only saying that because it’s true, Daisy,” Roseluck replied smoothly, giving her red-striped pink tail a shake. “I could do it without the cider, but it wouldn’t be as fun.” “I suppose I’ll have to settle for crying in my ale,” Cherry Berry said in mock sadness. “At least I’ll be alone in good company.” “You wouldn’t be alone at all, if you’d let me brush you,” I told my shaggy friend. “Not on your life!” she gave me a stern look. Just a quick once over? I needled. “No!” Cherry protested, “I like it fine the way it is!” “I’d appreciate it if you did keep them off Rose,” said Lily, whose enthusiasm was beginning to drop with every step. “Don’t you worry none, Lily. We’ve already taken out an army of unicorns; we are more than a match for a few rowdy stallions,” said Carrot Top, smiling. She slowed down to match pace with her and nuzzled her cheek. Lily seemed to take heart from this and smiled. I heard the flapping of wings overhead and saw a pegasus land next to me I’d never met. She had a very light, almost white pink coat, a festive cerise and mint green striped mane and tail, lovely blue eyes, and adorable freckles. It occurred to me at that moment I was spending a lot of the day appreciating the female beauty and resolved to drink myself back to normal as soon as we got to the bar. Alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all of life’s problems. “That was quite a show you six put on back there!” the not-at-all completely gorgeous hunk of mare said, rousing me from my idle thoughts. “You saw our match eh?” I asked. “I did, and I would never have imagined seeing such a magnificent thrashing! I’ve seen earth ponies perform in rodeos and accomplish remarkable feats of strength, but never attack in numbers that way. You ponies take snowball fighting very seriously!” she said, clopping her forehooves together. “Thanks! My name’s Shoeshine, but everypony just calls me Linky. What’s yours?” “I’m Blossomforth, leader of the pegasi snowball fighting squad, Altocumulous Lenticularis. We’ve been going up against Sea Swirl’s group for years with mixed results. After watching you gals play, I would be honored to go up against your squad.” “Do you attack while flying?” Cherry Berry asked. “In our games against the unicorns, we do. They don’t have any trouble with firing snowballs up at us, so they give us a real run for our bits,” Blossomforth shook her head. “Especially Sea Swirl, that mare is deadly accurate and reloads fast! That new prospect of theirs, Twinkleshine is a real terror too.” Except against me apparently. I couldn’t help but wonder why she wouldn’t take such an easy shot, even if they were doomed. I also couldn’t help but imagine taking her up on that offer of “being taken”... I swallowed at the decidedly blushworthy images suddenly running through my head. “What are your rules?” I asked, hoping my suddenly warm cheeks wouldn’t give away where my thoughts had gone. “Victory by elimination on whatever ground you choose to fight on,” she replied. “We accept your challenge,” I replied. “We’ll need a week to prepare. On the ground or in the air, we will beat you!” I promised, drawing myself up straight. “Spoken like a true warrior,” she gave me a mock salute. “There will be another snowfall eight days from now, according to our weather schedule. We’ll schedule the fight for the day after. Good luck, Linky,” Blossomforth took off into the sky. “Linky, that was really sweet of you to talk us up to that nice pegasus back there, but you do know we can’t fly, right?” asked Roseluck rhetorically. “We don’t need to fly. The snow is on the ground, and so are we,” I gestured toward the street. “Perhaps you could have refused, and we could have just celebrated our big victory?” Carrot Top suggested mildly. “It is not sufficient that I succeed. All others must fail!” I insisted, blinking at my voice suddenly speaking in a different, far more forceful tone -- where had that come from? “But enough about that; there is still celebration to be had!” I finished cheerfully. I knew some of them were skeptical. I also knew they’d forget about the whole thing after a few hard ciders. Hopefully long enough for me to think up a plan.