"These are the times I realize how different Master is from old Master. The only comment old Master had on acupuncture was along the line of 'crazy nonsense from over the large pond'. He wasn't really open to the whole idea of willingly getting stabbed."
Teeth tightly clenched and her hoof holding a small of patch of cotton against her side, Lyra subdued the urge to respond. She flipped a page on the magazine and feigned complete disinterest. She had initially been going for appearing to have gone deaf, but the furrow on her forehead made her mood way too obvious for such trickery. She had to be content with actively - and obviously - ignoring the ghost.
"I kind of agreed with him too... it's really hard to see the appeal of jamming metal rods into one's body," Snowy chattered on. She sat next to Lyra, further annoying her master by eyeing the same magazine the pony had been reading. "So it's really weird to see trained doctors subscribing to the idea. I guess medical sciences have really improved during the time I spent in the amulet! Then again, the whole world has changed a lot, too. Old Master would surely have gone crazy if he had to spend as much as a single-"
"Would you please look at something else?" Lyra broke into a groan and rolled her eyes. There must have been a good and well-researched explanation why somepony else reading the same page as she did irked her... but for that moment, all she knew was that she really didn't want the icy ghost staring at that very magazine.
"Aww, Master... is that a must? It's not like my gaze would make the letters disappear!" Snowy pouted at the order. Her rebellion only amounted to vocal protests however, her head having turned in the opposite direction by the end of her sentence. "I'm only enjoying those pretty pictures - such amount of detail for so thin a codex! There is simply no way I could spoil Master's fun anyhow. I don't even know what those letters around the pictures mean."
"Of course you don't, you-" Lyra groaned renewed, but her tirade was cut short by the unexpected bit of detail. "-wait, what? You mean you can't read?"
"Nope!" Snowy declared as cheerfully as if that was a fact deserving celebration.
Lyra was completely bamboozled; she only managed to dish out a muffled eh, accompanied by a few rapid blinks. It was really hard for her to think of a reaction; never in her life had she seen the proverb 'ignorance is bliss' get demonstrated more vividly than that.
"You were locked up in a tower for years... only with that old master of yours," she finally found her voice. Her gaze was still pointed at the magazine, but she didn't actually see the colourful pictures; her thoughts had already fled the shallow piece of literature. "He never accepted guests either, right? So all he did was... read stuff, I guess?"
"Not quite. Old Master wasn't such a shallow pony; he would have accepted guests. It's more like the guests stopped coming - but that was on their own volition, so joke's on them!" Snowy interjected, her upbeat tone not showing any signs of wavering. She meant every word, that was for sure. "Old Master simply liked to grumble. First with whomever dared to approach him and claim familiarity; then, once he went through the history books, with whomever brought fresh news from the outside world; and finally with himself, once no-one came around that would speak to him. Always grumbling, all the time - I truly think that was his preferred way of communication. A misunderstood spirit, really."
"Riiiight, he was a real kind soul. Whatever you say," Lyra planted her face into her hoof. "Anyway, in all those years, you never once picked up how the alphabet works? And your old master never once figured 'eh, I have this ghost who's pretty much the only soul I can talk to now, let's teach her something'?"
"Old Master was pretty adamant in his relation to accursed ice-demons such as myself," Snowy pointed out, finally switching to a more neutral tone. A marked yet small improvement, one that still didn't help lessen the sense of odd detachment from her own story. "Truth be told, it would have been weird if he had offered to do something like that. Not to mention how me being able to read his books would have been a real headache for him! Imagine all the secrets a no-good ice demon could have discovered that way."
Lyra broke her gaze from the magazine she wasn't reading anyway and turned to the ghost instead. The way those lines were delivered, she could have easily believed Snowy found such flow of events natural. That fact didn't sit well with her. She could have stomached the whole explanation better if the windigo showed even a modicum of emotion. A little rage, or just be slightly upset.
Anything!
No matter how she looked at the delivery, she had been witness to a disturbing level of conformity. Now, Lyra was fine with looking at the bright side of things; but the way Snowy esteemed the crook her 'Old Master' had been...
No way she could find that to her liking. No way she could accept something like that.
More importantly however, there was absolutely no way she would settle that matter in the waiting room.
"Anyway! I didn't come here to get some esoteric treatment like acupuncture," Lyra threw the magazine away. "I don't even like needles! Miss Treatment just had to draw a little blood, that's all there is to it. And as far as that procedure goes, I'm sure you understand I'd prefer a needle to anything larger..."
The magazine finished its clumsy flight and crashed back onto the table, crumpling some of the colourful pages in its landing. Snowy eyed the object a little longingly, the vivid images still captivating her; but her sense of loyalty had proven stronger than her curiosity. She turned back and gave her master a long, questioning stare.
Lyra wished the windigo had fallen for the clumsy distraction; though if she were honest with herself, she couldn't have faulted the ghost for the surprised reaction either. She had made quite the abrupt change in topic. It wasn't even a change; it was more of a full retreat. She had really wanted to talk about something other than how some long-gone cranky noble had treated a harmless ghost, though.
Locking eyes with Snowy for a moment, Lyra blew some hot air out of her nose and flinched away. Silence was good; it meant the previous topic got dropped. So she got her wish. She couldn't help wondering if she may have been a little rude in the process, however.
Ordinary ponies would have called her out on that stunt for sure, but she wasn't talking to any ordinary pony, Celestia be thanked. She trusted the ghost to not get uppity about minor breaches of etiquette.
"That... hardly makes for a better situation," Snowy scratched her head, ending the increasingly awkward silence. "Just why would the good doctor need Master's blood? Is she a vampire?"
Once again, Lyra was left speechless. She had no idea how vampirism struck the ghost as the most sensible explanation. There was something mildly comforting in that sensation of being utterly clueless, however. She may have been getting used to not understanding her windigo.
I actually wonder if that's a good thing.
After a lengthy deliberation - all while two ghostly eyes stared at her - Lyra decided that no, that wasn't really a good thing.
"No, no vampires here. She's not drinking my blood. Well... at least I certainly hope not!" she dropped backwards, plopping onto a puffy chair with a sigh. "She just needs a sample to analyse, that's all."
"Analyse? So that doctor draws conclusions based on blood?" Snowy turned to the closed door of the doctor's office. She showed all the signs of serious concentration, such as holding a translucent hoof to her chin. Then her lips turned into a wry smile and her head bobbed forward, the ghostly pony nodding to herself as she concluded her brainstorming session. "I knew it."
Those three words were among the few combinations that Lyra had hoped she wouldn't have to hear.
"You knew what?" she asked despite knowing better.
"Oh Master, I'm not daft. I know what drawing conclusions from blood means," Snowy narrowed her crimson eyes, the see-through blue fur on her back rising. "Our dear doctor is a witch."
Lyra was stunned by how easily Snowy came to conclusions that left her stunned. She may have expected something mind-numbing, but that theory had effortlessly blind-sided her still. It was a conclusion so obviously very wrong - yet one that seemed to make sense once she dared to think deeper of it. Well, made sense... in a weird, twisted, round-about way.
"I bet she's drawing all sorts of obscene diagrams in there," Snowy growled on, pouring more oil onto the proverbial fire. "I know their kind very well - old Master used to rage about this vermin whenever he had nothing else to rage about. Oh, do I know them well! Burn at the stake, they all sho-"
"Aaand this is where we stop, right before you get to be creepier than any ice ghost should allowed to be!" Lyra cackled nervously, her breath racing with her pulse. "I have ABSOLUTELY no idea what your stupid old master told you, but blood testing is a completely legit and scientific process! It's used all the time! It's completely normal!"
"Oh."
For whatever reason, the windigo's utterly disturbed reaction made Lyra almost as much worried as the previous ranting of the very same ghost.
"That's... unexpected. I mean, I was expecting the world to change a lot while I slept in the amulet... but to think witches progressed to being scientists!" Snowy made a soft laugh after she was done scratching her head. She turned back to her master and the laughter died down; even the daft ghost could understand the shocked expression the flesh-and-blood pony wore. "Sorry if my act is contrary to the customs Master is used to. Adapting to this brave new world is quite challenging! Fake fires atop of buildings, nobles who are really almost like commoners, witches who are actually scholars... sorry, I mean, scientists... it's truly like I have gone mad."
"Ditto on that," Lyra sighed wearily, relaxing her neck and letting her head drop onto the chair's cushion. She wound up staring at the ceiling of the waiting hall, and she immediately made an insightful realization: that place could have used a lick of fresh paint. She was fairly certain she shouldn't have seen cracks right above her head, after all. Still, at that very moment, those cracks were the lesser of her worries. "You know, I feel like I've gone mad myself as well."
"Awww," Snowy purred and covered her face, her ghostly eyelids quivering embarrassedly. "Master's saying things to comfort me! That's hardly appropriate... but it does feel nice. I have no idea what I should say, though..."
Try something less awkward, Lyra frowned as she shut her eyes. Dear Celestia, I sure hope this day won't get any weirder.
After a train-ride full of Bon making weird questions about a ghost she had been forced to believe in, the general weird antics of said ghost, wading through a crowd that insisted on hailing her as all sorts of celebrities she didn't happen to be, getting riddled with a nurse that took multiple blood samples to see if the stitches in her right shoulder were all right... after all those things, Lyra was fairly certain her wish was simple enough to grant.
Too bad the ponies' living god-princess rejected her humble request in the form of a window spontaneously exploding, spewing broken glass all around the small waiting hall.
"WHA- WHA- WHAT-!" Lyra squealed. Her first reaction - besides screaming useless questions - was kicking wildly; an admirable idea had she been standing on all fours, but a less astute one when she was resting on a chair. The force of her own movement made her fall over backwards. The sole help she got from her chair was a pained wooden creak, one which accompanied her as she landed head-first and then came to a rest belly-up.
That landing kind of hurt. It also dictated her reactions afterwards: she clenched her hooves on her aching head, the dancing green dots in her vision prompting her to squint mightily. Most of her higher thoughts took their chances to disappear, the few remaining strands focused on making sense of the chaos surrounding her.
"Huh," she heard the voice of her windigo. The tone seemed to be distant and confused, as if the ghostly creature was faced with something quite unexpected yet not too distressing. "Before I speak my mind on this matter, I must ask... Master, is entering through windows a new and accepted form of etiquette nowadays?"
"Nope. Breaking windows is bad," Lyra hissed without devoting too much thought to the matter. Her head had been hurting after the bounce against the floor, thinning her already not-too-abundant supply of patience. Still, since she was a nice pony, she answered the honest question factually and without any sarcasm. This once.
"Pffft. Shows what you know! Do you have any idea how hard it is to nail such a small frame at the speeds I'm going with?"
Slowly swivelling her head to the left until a blue pegasus entered her vision, Lyra was confident in her first impression.
Oh for the love of- not another weirdo!
Closing her eyes and holding a curse down with a gulp, she was fairly certain that she and the White Sun Princess were not on friendly terms that day.
I bet this is a joke, somehow. I bet she's looking at me right now. She's looking at me and she's laughing her fat sun-marked plot off.
Even during her blasphemous internal rage, she couldn't help but wonder if she had seen that stranger before. That pegasus had an oddly distinctive feature she seemed to recall from somewhere. Colourful as they were, not many ponies could boast true technicolour manes.
"I'm so going to have to let you know that I just scored an ace there," the pegasus pointed a hoof towards the broken window. "Ten out of ten. At the very least."
For all that Lyra knew, that may have been a boast; but with the pegasus also lying limp on the floor, it was really hard to take any her 'boasts' seriously.
"Er... good job?" Lyra bit her lip and rubbed her eyes. Tiny shards of glass rolled off from her as she did so, bits that had been forming a window just a few seconds before. "You... did you come for medical assistance?"
That was Lyra's favourite kind of question - the one which she knew the answer to even before she had bothered to ask.
Even if you hadn't come to see a doc, you sure need to now!
"Kinda," the pegasus moaned, her hoof dropping back next to her rather unceremoniously. "I've been here a few days ago, but I was told to come back later, so I kinda' thought I'd just like, drop by..."
"You've come to the right place!" Snowy exploded into a burst of cheerfulness and excitement. "There is a witch here who will cure you with scientifically accurate blood rituals!"
Bonking herself on the head a few times, Lyra pondered how much longer her day could get.
"Rainbow... Dash," Lyra mulled over the name as she yanked the toppled chair back upright. The move was accompanied by a short-lived shower of window fragments, the shiny bits of glass jumping and dancing on the floor before they became inert once again. "Yeah, I think I've heard of you."
"D'awww. No need to be shy!" Dash smirked triumphantly and kicked a few pieces of debris towards a larger pile. "It's only the two of us, so you're free to admit how inspired you are by the awesome I am!"
"I for one am absolutely inspired by how you can crash through windows without suffering as much as a scratch!" Snowy waved excitedly. Not being the target audience rarely disheartened her - or even registered with her, much to her master's chagrin.
"I would much rather enjoy an 'awesome' that comes without massive property damage-" Lyra frowned, following up her blabbering with a face-hoof and the realization of her recurring issue having just struck again.
Dammit! STILL talking before I could think!
"Pfff. You're still hung up on a measly piece of broken glass?" Dash shrugged with an expression that left no doubts about her pity. "Well, not all of us can dream big I guess."
"Correct! I don't even dream, for example!" Snowy waved again. Her enthusiasm briefly ebbed in the moments following however, evident by one of her eyebrows creeping upwards. "Though I don't even really sleep, so that's kind of a given, isn't it..."
"This is kind of hard to ignore right now," Lyra stomped onto the floor. Her hoof made a sharp crack, the horseshoe smashing a thin shard of glass into powder. It served as a great way to make her point evident - both to Dash and to her own gleefully blabbering windigo, whom she was trying not to pay any attention to.
"Meh. That's what this one's for!" Dash yanked something from among her feathers, throwing it at the other pony with a snap of her head.
Lyra caught the small object with ease. It was a harder piece of paper, much like carton; only it was shinier and even more rigid. Its surface was adorned by a long black bar and some vivid-coloured logos, a singular name standing out:
FREQUENT CRASHER CARD
"There are some obstructions you can get around. For everything else, there's CrashCard," Dash recited the slogan with an overly smug face.
The card still in the grasp of her unicorn magic, Lyra keenly remembered how pants-on-the-head stupid that ad had been. Only now she felt her own self being way more stupid for some reason.
"Covers property damage and medical," Dash yanked the shiny grey paper back, tugging it back into her wing. "I'd get dental too, but that's apparently reserved for top clients only. If I only knew how a mailmare got diamond class! I'm like, putting real effort into this and-"
"Master should apply to one," Snowy spoke up, her interjection successfully making Lyra lose track of the other conversation. "It would be a fantastic deal! Master had almost bled to death, got frozen to death, bled to death again and then almost got strangled to death in the span of a few days, after all. That streak would surely be hard to top."
"Yes, yes, yes, that's all very nice and important and stuff," Lyra shook her head in an attempt to rid herself both from the ad-come-true card's spell and the near-death-recount of her ghost. "Anyway, I'm Lyra Heartstrings, frequent performer in the Royal Opera! ...among other places. Ahem! Nice to meet you, Dash."
"Ha! The Opera!" Dash grinned and seized the other pony up. "I knew I've seen you somewhere before."
Lyra felt her little heart grow two sizes as her pride ballooned. She still had no idea where she knew that Dash figure from, but she was plenty sure the pegasus was somehow important. For an important pony to know her-!
"You're the one who mixes music for the parties at night, aren't you?" Dash winked and poked Lyra in the side. "You're one of the best DJs out there, kiddo'. I mean, it's like, not really a big deal compared to us real big deals... but it's a pretty great going otherwise!"
"Ahahaha... well yeah. It's not really a big deal," Lyra nodded, bearing a smile even as she felt her internal world collapse and plunge into a bottomless pit. "It's really not. I mean, it's not like I put my whole heart into my music. Nothing like that at all, ahaha!"
"Well, don't you worry! There's like, always some who appreciate you background folks!" Dash giggled loudly and rubbed a hoof on Lyra's head.
In a strange way, that did make Lyra feel better. She really hadn't been expecting it to be the case, but even mistaken and misguided sympathy resonated with her. This was also the highest praise she had gotten that day, too.
What a lousy day.
"So what got you here?" Dash turned back away, returning to her self-appointed task of gathering the glass into a single pile. "I thought you musical types were like, quite unlikely to get injured. I mean, it's not the most dangerous job out there, right?"
Fully expecting another unexpected remark that would surely throw her thoughts off the rails, Lyra sneaked a glance at her windigo - but Snowy was staring at the magazines in silence, paying little to no attention to the two ponies around her. That tranquil failed to make Lyra relieved, however.
She felt cheated instead.
Is my profession being boring the ONLY thing you have no retarded rebuttal to?!
"Aha... well, it's a funny story," Lyra giggled nervously, her thoughts shifting to a problem she hadn't thought of before.
She had no idea just how much she could reveal from her ordeal.
On one hoof, the whole story wanted out of her. She had to warn everypony for one; and she wanted to gloat about her awesome adventure, for two. Especially to the pegasus who has been acting all smug with her.
On the other hoof, spreading bad rumours about a noble who had made attempts on her life seemed like a bad thing for her life expectancy. Especially with a pegasus who was likely to latch onto the awesome-factor and spread the story like crazy.
In the question of being awesome and being alive, Lyra was firmly in the favour of the latter.
"I... I had come for a yearly health inspection," she explained with all the fake honesty she could muster. "You know, job requirement."
Lyra, you're an idiot, she regretted her choice of words right away. She had made a real bad lie - she really should have picked something that went better with her bandages.
"Ah, really? Woah, wicked. I thought only we had those, ha!" Dash cackled and kicked another piece of glass towards the pile. She had put a little too much effort into the shot however, making the shiny piece of debris ricochet off the pile and sending at least a dozen others scrambling in all directions. Dash didn't seem to take offence though, the bad luck only eliciting a tired sigh from her. "Seriously, you'd think that like, passing exams would be enough. But nooo, to advance in the academy, you have to get all these lame examinations done too. Because of reasons."
...so as I was saying, you're a genius! Lyra patted herself on the head - mentally, of course.
"So a check-up for you too," she took the idea and ran with it. "Hah! Funny coincidence, isn't it? I mean, I'd have thought you hot-shot important pegasi would get these checks done at home... you know, at Cloudsdale."
Just as if she had stepped onto a shard with the soft part of her hoof, Dash recoiled and shuddered for a moment. She was back to business as usual the next second, but Lyra was certain she saw something really odd just there.
"Na- nah. There's a perfectly good and rational explanation," Dash giggled and walked forward, the shards of glass crackling under her steps. "This place has... uh... it has like, less ponies here. Shorter queues, see? Waiting in queues is like, lame."
Lyra accepted that explanation with a faint nod. She wasn't all that convinced, but she couldn't really argue with the logic either. She hated queues herself. She didn't know of anypony who didn't hate queues, in fact.
Barring Snowy, of course. The ghost would most likely have a field day in a long queue. She would be waltzing around, pestering her master with all sorts of ridiculous questions that only had answers that were easy to misinterpret.
Grumbling under her nose, Lyra crouched down and eyed a glittering object that had become embedded in the carpet. She felt divided about her odd suspicion regarding the pegasus; fishy answers were fishy, no doubts there. However, she had no real reason or right to poke a random pony's actions too much either.
Well, whatever. She can visit whichever doctor she wishes, in the end. None of my business.
She grabbed the tiny shard with a burst of her magic and placed it onto the table, next to the magazines. Snowy paid the shiny a brief glance then yanked her head around, snapping to the door that swung wide open just that moment. The white nurse came trotting through, stopping in the doorway to eye her two patients with a jubilant expression.
"Oh! If it isn't Rainbow Dash!" Miss Treatment chirped, the overflowing happiness obvious in her voice. "Sorry if I had kept you waiting long! You should really knock next time. I didn't hear you arriving!"
Wait, what? She knocked! She obviously knocked! She knocked RIGHT THROUGH THE WINDOW! Lyra snapped her hoof to the side of her head. The poor limb had no magical properties to keep lingering headaches at bay, but it was always worth a try.
"Ah... yeah. Um, sorry? I thought I'd clean up a little," Dash stammered an apology, her guilt-ridden gaze pointed at the pile of broken glass. "Leaving a mess after yourself is like, you know, not cool."
"As if a little untidiness mattered when my favourite patient visits me!" Miss Treatment pranced over to the blue pegasus, beaming an uncomfortably warm smile. "So tell me - what have you broken this time?"
Lyra boldly decided that she wanted none of that discussion and let those two be. She slithered under the cover of the table real sneaky-like, wondering all the way why she had sudden flashbacks of a certain noble in a faraway castle in the northern hills.
"Only your window," Dash motioned at the empty hole in the wall. A few shards of glass were all that clung to the frame at that point. "I just came to grab something."
"How disappointing," Miss Treatment sighed and took a step away from the favoured patient. "You didn't happen to break anything during your dynamic entry, right? No concussion after a rapid deceleration from an excessively high speed? No bruises after body-checking those sturdy window panes, which are obviously capable of snapping your bones? No cuts after going past those razor-sharp edges of broken glass? Didn't happen to hit your head into the furniture lying about?"
You're not even a nurse at this point! You're not even asking if she's all right! You're just trying to live out your fantasies! Lyra shuddered in the cover of the small table, her ears neatly tucked against her neck in her vain attempt to minimize her target profile.
"She seems like a really thorough doctor," Snowy moved forward, emphasizing her words with small nods along the way. "I never saw anypony who went as far as specifically asking for potential injuries during treatment!"
Something's wrong with you! Both of you! No, wait, all three of you! Lyra wrinkled her eyebrows, never budging an inch from her designated hiding spot. She didn't say anything aloud either. She entered a kind of zen; she blended into the room, became part of the furniture.
She wanted none of the crazies to notice her.
Why am I the only sane pony here?
"Nope," Dash shrugged nonchalantly. She didn't even miss a beat; she wasn't bothered by the nurse's questions whatsoever. "Had windows bothered me, I would have stopped crashing through them all the time. I mean, it's not like I do that on purpose... not always, anyway!"
Miss Treatment took the answer as a personal insult. A fairly uninteresting one, at that.
"How boring," she sighed and dropped her head low. "Ah, there's nothing to do with you! So boring! This is why I hate healthy p-"
The nurse interrupted herself mid-sentence, whistling a popular song with ear-splitting falseness. Her eyes wandered upwards, onto the ceiling; she couldn't have been any more stereotypically guilty.
You were about to say you hate healthy ponies! You were totally about to say you hate healthy ponies! Lyra gawked silently. Why are you even a nurse? Why do you even work here?!
Still, her faith in ponydom was restored a little, as those words had proven enough to put Dash into motion as well.
"Hey! That was like, absolutely not nice!" the pegasus objected loudly, rearing her head up and prodding the nurse with a hoof. "I'm an awesome pony! Don't you dare call me boring!"
A small thud punctuated the sentence, courtesy of Lyra's forehead kissing the side of the table.
"Ah- sorry, sorry! Me and my hasty mouth, haha! You are usually quite interesting, after all! All those fancy bruises and broken bones and snapped wings, mm... you give my work here meaning," Miss Treatment doodled with a sweet, sugary tone. She looked ecstatic, her head bobbing from one side to the other; she was ready to break into a dance any moment. "You see, I love watching injured patients up clo- I mean, treating them, of course. Treating. I love treating injured ponies. Pity you're not one of those right now..."
"Aww. It's touching to see somepony so dedicated to the betterment of the ailing," Snowy cooed as she clenched her hooves on her chest. "Such dedication to a cause can only truly be love!"
Stop it! You're getting attached to the worst kind of cause! That's the kind of love which kills! Blindly! Lyra stuck her tongue out of her mouth. She wasn't sure what irked her more; that she had voluntarily put herself into the hooves of that madpony or that her ghostly servant had voluntary subscribed to the whole mad play so easily.
She would leave the nurse alone as soon as she headed home, after all. Snowy, on the other hoof, would follow her all the way home... not to mention watching over her as she slept.
No matter how she looked at it, it would have been really nice if the nurse had stopped putting weird thoughts into the ghost's head.
"Apology accepted," Dash snorted and yanked her head back to a more natural pose, swiftly ignoring the bulk of what just had been said. "I just came for the results of my test."
"Test... test..." Miss Treatment echoed to herself. She sat down amidst her thinking; with her vacant gaze and her head plopping to the side, it was ridiculously visible how little of an idea she had. "Test... this is just a test..."
"Ah geez. Use a notebook if you can't remember all the things you do!" Dash smacked herself on the face. "It was part of my flight certification. You know, of the airworthiness exam."
"Ah... the one some potential Wonderbolts have to take?" Miss Treatment gave a hesitant nod. While her statement had been correct, she was still looking for the proper answer; as such, she was talking more to herself than to her patient. "The one you had to take because you... flunked on the exam because you were too nervous? The one your superiors forced on you because you were so jittery they believed you had seizures? The one you're trying to postpone because you're now afraid how the same thing would repeat? Especially with the bad memory haunting you, yes?"
Stunned silence followed. Only the noises from the street filtered in through the broken window.
"I don't see the need for a notebook," Snowy broke the silence first, compounding Lyra's woes as usual. "That really sounded like a fairly vivid recollection to me."
I'd rather take the notebook! That was way too vivid! Absolutely way too vivid! Lyra gasped for air as she watched Dash shrink a size or two. What's with all the unnecessary, deeply personal details? Isn't she really just making wounds herself now?
"Yeah... that," Dash mumbled. Her eyes were fixed at a spot which allowed her to avoid the gaze of both Lyra and the nurse; she would obviously rather have been anywhere else than that waiting room.
"Haaa... well, I have no idea!" Miss Treatment scratched her head with a goofy grimace. "Could you be more specific...?"
"LAST TUESDAY!" Dash gave proof of her lung capacity, yelling loud enough to make the nurse's mane sway wildly. "I WAS HERE LAST TUESDAY FOR A FRICKIN' BLOOD TEST! DO YOU NEED LIKE THE HOUR AND MINUTE TOO?"
"Oh, that one!" Miss Treatment slapped herself lightly and then reached to pat Dash - who recoiled from the motion, hissing like an angered cat. "You know, you really should have begun with that. Let me fetch it for you! A see-cond!"
The nurse popped back to her hooves and turned around, disappearing into her office while doodling a tingly-tangy tune.
The threat gone, Lyra rose from the cover of the table. She wasn't sure if that was the right choice to make; even the lack of psychopathic medical crews failed to help the awkward atmosphere. Dash stayed in one place as if her hooves had sprouted roots. It was hard to tell what kind of thoughts had been going through her head; her face was stiff, only the heavy breathing hinting directly at her unease.
Lyra wondered if she would want to comfort that pegasus. They barely knew each other, after all. At the same time, she had a great deal of empathy toward the would-be-Wonderbolt; nopony deserved to get treated by Miss Treatment. Especially like that.
The fact she was next in line may have contributed to the rush of sympathy as well.
A knot formed in her throat as the decision formed in her head. She was never that good at mingling with strangers.
Keep it together, girl! You can do this.
A deep breath, keeping the air down, exhaling, another deep breath...
Moving with hooves made of granite, Lyra circled around the table and approached the blue pegasus.
Do unto others like how you'd want others to do unto you, right?
"Hey, I'm... uh..." she muttered meekly, careful that she looked the opposite way of the pegasus. That happened to be where Snowy was though; and the bamboozled stare of the ghost really didn't help Lyra's cause. So she just shut her eyes finally, speaking without giving the outside world a chance to confuse or interrupt her. "I know this is weird but I... uh, I'm sorry for-"
The outside world took Lyra up on the challenge and interrupted anyway.
"BAAFK!"
Miss Treatment exploded back onto the scene, kicking the door open with a motion that put the Royal Guard's break-and-enter routines to shame. She proceeded to waltz to the table, moving across a doubly dumbstruck ghost; there she spat out the papers she held in her mouth, the thin pieces of white material flapping around before she nailed them down with a firm hoof.
It was certainly an impressive way to enter, though the effect was largely lost on the audience. Dash wasn't touched; she stood firm, only moving her eyes to keep track of the nurse that had so wronged her.
Lyra was at the other end of the spectrum; she was back to hiding in an instant, using the nearest cover available to her. That was Dash at first; then, after having realized the error in her judgement, she rushed behind the open door instead.
"I have terrible news," Miss Treatment giggled as she ran her eyes down the papers. "Your blood sample was terribly boring. So boring I could barely make myself look through all of it. In fact, I may have dozed off a little somewhere."
Coming from you, that sounds like a good thing! Lyra popped her head out from behind the door, her amber eyes narrowed to a slit. Wait a sec. How did you turn malpractice in something commendable?
"Great," Dash rolled her eyes and took a loud step towards the table. "Then I'll just take those and-"
"But then I got some inspiration and looked at this fancy detail here!" Miss Treatment pointed at the paper and carried on, undaunted in the face of the angered pegasus and demonstrating a remarkable lack of concern for her personal safety. Among the lack of other concerns she really should have had, that is. "See this number here?"
"Nup!" Dash stopped and raised her eyebrows high. "I might if you had just, you know, moved your hoof out of the way though!"
"It's your blood sugar level," Miss Treatment poked the paper, pinning it to the table and also crumpling it in the process. "Your blood sugar is out of whack!"
"That's it? Blood sugar? Meh... that's like, total lame," Rainbow Dash sighed with absolute dejection. "If that's all what you found, then I'm like, super fine."
"Ha! That's what you would think!" Miss Treatment licked the side of her lips and raised her hoof, the limb ending up pointing at Dash. "Sugar is basically hydrogen, oxygen and coal! You know what else is using a lot of those?"
"No need to try and scare me," Dash shook her head. "It won't work anyway. I've talked to a lot of doctors, you know! I've heard them threaten me in like, all kinds of ways. A little sugar in my blood got nothing on the full-body cast from last year!"
In the cover of the door, Lyra made a hasty nod. She had to give this round to Dash. Full-body casts sounded really scary indeed; way worse than having some of her sugar hop from her tea to intravenous form.
"Well, okay. If you insist on being hard to get," Miss Treatment sat down and folded her legs in front of her. "If you continue the way you are, your blood sugar level may rise. Then, when it has reached critical threshold, it will react with the adrenaline when you move too fast... and then explode!"
EXPLODE? Lyra's jaw dropped. While she held no medical degree and that was the first time she had heard such a diagnosis, she definitely had a few misgivings about its veracity.
Judging by the odd stare and the rapid blinking, Dash was sharing the sentiment.
Miss Treatment was the only one wholly satisfied. She raised her nose and waited in that triumphant pose of hers, enjoying herself immensely.
"Ex...plode?" Dash stuttered after some delay, scratching the back of her head with a hoof, her rainbow mane to shaking around. "That's, like, unusual... but you totally got my attention. So what would happen after that?"
"Ah, well, there's not much medical research into that I'm afraid," Miss Treatment frowned and closed one eye, using the other to stare at the ceiling. "I suppose your body would undergo a rapid, unscheduled disassembly... shortly followed by your soul travelling to the nether and getting judged for your mortal deeds. Though only if that's the kind of thing you believe in, I guess. You could also become an evil poltergeist that replaces valid shopping coupons with outdated ones, though... since that's the kind of thing I believe in."
Oi! You're breaking both our mortal world and our afterlife as well now! Lyra grimaced. You're totally just ruining poltergeists for everypony!
"Let's stick to the pony-powered fireworks, m'kay? It really sounds like a one-off thing," Dash snickered at the prospect.
"Would be a pretty awesome sight though," Miss Treatment breathed deeply, then unlocked her legs to make a rapidly expanding gesture. "Poof! The biggest show a pony can make in their lifetime!"
Technically true! Lyra cringed at such choice of words. That's the worst kind of true!
"The biggest show, huh..." Dash cocked her head to the side, the gears in her head turning. "Sounds cool. Actually, that sounds like something right up my alley."
"I told you I found something fancy," Miss Treatment winked at the pegasus and slid the test results to her. "Just keep eating a lot of sugar and fly recklessly. It should work out just fine!"
Oiii! Forget about being a nurse, you're not even proper pony anymore! Lyra widened her eyes, the cold dread washing over her. You're not even trying at this point! Your evil side has totally taken over you! It's obvious! It's so obvious I can almost hear the latin chanting in the background!
"You know, making huge fireworks as a grand closure to my show would be like, all kinds of cool," Dash hummed. She was trying to convince herself most likely; but the nurse standing next to her also paid close attention to her words, nodding enthusiastically all along the way. "I bet nopony has ever done that before! Demonstrating with something like that... hmm, that'd surely put a lot of oomph into my performance!"
It sounds a little too much of oomph, actually! Lyra pressed her right hoof against the side of her head. She didn't really like the way that conversation was going, but she had no idea if she should interrupt it. Poorly thought-out plans were not illegal in Equestria. They were more of a norm, actually.
"That's the spirit! I'm sure your audience will be blown away by your finale!" Miss Treatment threw a sly wink at Dash, simultaneously patting the pegasus on the back. "Show them what you're made of, tiger!"
"Yeah!" Dash snorted loudly. She flared her wings so vigorously that she made a smaller gust in the room; the freak air current flipping the magazines all over the table, even throwing some off onto the floor. "I'll be getting the best review of my life ever!"
Still cowering behind the open door, Lyra couldn't help but feel weirdly amused by how true that was - one way or the other.
Snowy was the only one to look openly disapproving. The windigo narrowed her crimson eyes and wrinkled her eyebrows, scratching the back of her head intently... then she turned to Miss Treatment and finally spoke up.
"I thought tigers were exotic animals that lived in far-away lands. Their pictures in old Master's books looked nothing like that pegasus either! So while I was approving of your earlier enthusiasm, I really need to question your knowledge about the world now, miss nurse."
For lack of better choices, Lyra drew her head back and snapped it forward. Her nose touched the wooden door and green dots began dancing in her eyes; the physical pain providing a much-welcome relief from the mental torture her brain was going through.
She hadn't made a thud too loud, but it was still easy to pick up. The room had become quite quiet with the departure of Dash; the only noises being those that filtered in through the broken window. The impact had also made the door swivel back towards its closed position, revealing the moderately pained musician.
"Oh my," Miss Treatment blinked vacantly as she turned around. "Seems I've got another visitor!"
"Uhh..." Lyra mumbled, her hooves clenched on her throbbing nose. "I've been here for a while already."
"So, got any broken bones?" Miss Treatment took a step forward. She bore an excited expression; she was also licking her lips, her head cocked to the side. "Any organs falling out maybe?"
It only took Lyra a split second to conclude: no matter her misgivings, she had very much preferred the nurse attending to Dash than her own self.
"Nope... I mean, I very much hope not," she shook her head hastily. She didn't feel bad, for one; and she really wouldn't have liked the attention of that medical pony, for two. "I came to get that checked out, though. You even took a blood sample from me... for whatever reason. Even though I only needed these stitches double-checked..."
"It was not whatever reason. It was because I enjoy stabbing you lot," Miss Treatment sighed, casually managing to give Lyra the goose bumps. The nurse took a few additional steps toward the shivering musician, her bored gaze resting on the white bandages. "Anyway, why should I take a look at your stitches? Did they loosen or something? Are you in pain? Are you bleeding? Could your leg be falling off?"
"N-NO! Nono! Of- of course not, hahaha!" Lyra waved her right hoof in front of her, her heart beating faster than during her first performance in the Opera. And she had been really, really anxious back then. "I just wanted a professional to look at the... you know, details that only professionals would know of. Like if it was sewn correctly, or... or, well, I don't know what. I'm not a doctor."
"Meh. You look sickeningly healthy to me," Miss Treatment shrugged and turned away, to the door leading to her office. That didn't prevent her from further driving Lyra into despair, though. "Shoo. Get away from my sight."
"What about my blood test?" Lyra mumbled, putting her hoof in front of her mouth only a few seconds too late. She wasn't convinced if she wanted to hear that nurse make an analysis about her health. The more responsible part of her brain was sure she did NOT want anything like that, in fact.
Too bad the more responsible part of her brain wasn't responsible for keeping her mouth shut.
The comment drew Miss Treatment's barely noticeable ire. The nurse paused for a moment, turning her green eyes to Lyra. She scanned the musician with thinly veiled contempt; then she moved to the table with heavy steps, her head hanging from one side to the other.
The nurse dragged herself to the small table and began shuffling through the white papers. She moved slowly, each movement of her hoof underlining how little desire she had to carry out that duty. A few of her wider movements also ploughed through Snowy, the windigo eyeing Miss Treatment suspiciously - and real closely.
Pressing her right hoof against her forehead, Lyra tried not to think about the whole image. She figured she had already sacrificed a smaller legion of brain cells; no need to further erode the functional parts of her head.
"Here we go," Miss Treatment exclaimed, dragging a singular sheet of paper out from the pile. "Let's see... boring... boring. Oh sweet Celestia, that number's so under the limit it's making me sick. Are you trying to kill me? Seriously, coming here like this..."
Grimacing in the cover of her hoof, Lyra did start feeling bad for having had come to that office. Especially when she could have also just rested in her bed, all nice and comfortable. She only would have had to convince Bon to that end. Couldn't have been worse than what she had already endured.
"Oh. Well, this is more interesting."
Her teeth clattering against each other, Lyra perked her ears and glanced up. Even the slightly excited tone of the nurse kicked her survival instincts into high gear.
"What...?" was all she managed to ask. Even that sole word came out rather meekly.
"Nothing really interesting," the nurse leaned closer to the paper, her words and actions clearly contradicting each other. "I was just looking at your blood sugar. Did you know sugar is composed of hydrogen, coal and oxygen?"
"Yes, I think I... I already heard. Somewhere," Lyra moved her hoof down from her face, covering her anxiety with a weak little giggle. "What of it?"
"Oh, nothing, really! I was just looking at the numbers here. Looks a little interesting, you know!" Miss Treatment joined in the giggling. "Your blood is full of sugar. A little more, and it could reach a critical concentration... then add in any little stimuli and then... and then something may explode!"
Lyra simply blinked and stared incredulously, her head hanging to the side. She had no words. Only thoughts.
Of thoughts she had plenty, though.
Oi! How careless can you actually be? You aren't even threatening me properly anymore!
"Hmm," Snowy hummed, the ghost's voice taking on a pandering overtone. "I don't think this is right."
Lyra recovered right away, a small grin lurking in the corners of her mouth. Finally! Snowy showing some real-
"Isn't Master's diagnosis a little... overly broad?"
Her ears dropping back to the side of her neck, Lyra turned around and limped towards the exit. She was going home - and no ghost, pegasus or medical pony could possibly stop her.