As the pink mare came into view far off into the distance, bouncing up and down in the direction of the castle, Twilight sighed with relief.
'Finally.' She thought.
When the earth pony eventually made it to the castle grounds, the alicorn walked over to her with an annoyed look on her face.
"Pinkie Pie! You were supposed to be here six minutes and forty three seconds ago! Where have you been?"
Despite the anger in Twilights voice, Pinkie's happy expression remained completely unchanged.
"Sorry Twilight." She said in a voice ringing with joy. "I got sidetracked giving my self directions to where she could find the weeping alicorns."
"What?" Asked the princess. That collection of words made very little sense.
"Weeping alicorns." Pinkie replied. "They're these alicorn statues that move when you aren't looking at them. I fought a lot of them when I was a companion of Dr. Whooves."
"Dr. Whooves?" Now Twilight was well and truly confused. Speaking nonsense was expected of Pinkie, but this was...new.
"Yeah. Dr. Whooves. He's this time travelling space pony, who goes on wild adventures through space and time, fighting aliens and reliving history. Its super fun! He usually travels with a female companion, which tends to change every two or three seasons, usually for super tragic reasons. I can't think of a single mare in Ponyville who hasn't been a companion of Dr. Whooves. I mean, have you ever looked at the background of Ponyville and seen like...two Colgates? Well, that's because one of them is a companion if Dr. Whooves on a time travelling adventure! Like, the time when Iron will came to Ponyville..."
"Okay Pinkie that's enough."
This conversation had done a serious number on Twilights brain. The antics of Pinkie Pie were best left unquestioned.
"I'm expecting Sunset Shimmer's company, so I'd rather not be late." Her heart rate accelerated at this thought. Surprisingly so actually.
As much as Twilight loved Pinkie, she wasn't the pony that was easiest to deal with. But non of her other friends could deal with this stallion quite like Pinkie could. Not even Rarity. It took an impossible pony to do business with another impossible pony.
The walk to the center of Ponyville took a little while, and a little while of silence is not healthy to the Pinkie Pie.
"So Twilight, what would you say your relationship with Spike is? I mean, he's definitely more than your just your assistant, and you more or less raised him, but you don't officially consider him your son or anything like that. It just got me thinking like, what is the relationship? What does it mean? Is Celestia the pony god? Stuff like that!"
"To be fair, Spike was raised by Celestia before I turned eighteen, so I wouldn't really say that I brought him up, but I see where you're coming from. I think of him as a kind of little brother."
This didn't stop Pinkie from asking more questions. "Oh, and speaking of Celestia, what would you say your relationship with her is? Is she like an older sister? Mother? Second cousin? Mentor? Psychiatrist?"
This got Twilight thinking about what Celestia said during her last visit, how she and Cadence were like daughters to her. "I guess she's like a motherly figure. Well, my actual mother is more of a motherly figure, but I don't think I'd be anything like who I am now if it weren't for Celestia."
Now Pinkie was really getting into the personal questions.
"Ooh, ooh! And what about Sunset Shimmer? I mean, first you were enemies and she was constantly plotting against you and then she turned into a raging demon and tried to kill you and then you blasted her with the rainbow blast and then she was all good..."
She had entered full pinkie rambling mode.
"...come to think of it did she just have a change of heart or did the rainbow do a nightmare moon on her and force her good? Wait that's like totally against the meaning of free will and stuff. And then you two were friends and defeated the sirens together and you and her kept in touch with the journals and then you started asking her if she wanted help with the library and then you were spending so much time together and then you developed a small crush on her and then she found that book and you started researching it and...are you okay Twilight?"
The alicorn had stopped in her tracks completely. "Say that again?"
"...are you okay Twilight?" she responded in the exact same pitch, tone and volume.
"No, right before that."
Pinkie's eyes blinked rapidly as she made a video rewinding sound (that was Typical Pinkie Pie for you). "...and you were spending so much time together and then you developed a small crush on her and then..."
"WHAT?!" Twilight shouted, slightly stunned with surprise.
"What do you mean WHAT?!"
"What I mean is that I do not have a crush on Sunset Shimmer!" Twilight was bewildered at the thought.
"Ye,s you do." The earth pony replied with her usual smile.
"I do not!"
"Yes, you do."
"I do not!"
"Yes, you do."
"I do no--look Pinkie we're starting to act like childish school fillies. This conversation is over."
"Awwwwwww, but I was having so much fun."
"I don't have a crush on Sunset and that's final. I'm completely straight. Completely." Why was her heart racing so fast? "Besides, most states, politicians and higher ups would look down heavily on a homosexual or bisexual princess."
"Lyra and Bon-Bon seem to be doing fine."
"Pinkie, do you even understand that there is a difference between a musician, a confectionist (baker) and one of the rulers of the very land we live in? I would likely be rejected by society, and that could extend to the other princesses for making me an alicorn in the first place! The entire monarchy could be thrown into CHAOS!"
Pinkie giggled at Twilight's banter. "Oh Twilight, Its so funny when you take things too seriously. Just the way your eyes go all...oh look we're here!"
The store was located near the town square, with town hall just visible behind the building. The store itself was painted in a design like a fractured mirror, each fracture a different color. Red, emerald, cyan, and yellow. On the front was a brown double door, and on each side was a large window, displaying a large variety of random objects.
'I hope he's in a good mood.' Even with the help of Pinkie Pie, this certain stallion could be impossible to deal with if he wasn't in the right state.
As soon as they walked through the door, a small box flew through the air, crashing against the wall above them and spraying nuts and bolts all over them.
'Crap...'
"Where in the name of Celestia are my damn pages?!" Cried a deep masculine voice that sounded almost unnatural. "I need those freakin' PAGES!"
From the door behind the store desk entered a grey earth pony stallion. From a distance he would look like any normal pony, but from where Twilight and Pinkie were standing, they could see an unnaturally colored blood red mane, but the most notable feature were the eyes. They were pitch black, with irises the same color of his mane, and no pupils were present. The two black and red orbs stared at the mares with pure rage.
"Oh great! Customers! That's exactly what I needed!" He grumbled through clenched teeth while shoving multiple objects off his counter and looking in multiple drawers.
"Uuuuuum..." Twilight approached the stallion nervously. "Good morning, Fracture."
"Oh, royal customers! That's just greeeeeaaaaat! As if I wasn't already working my ass off!" Twilight had to duck as a kettle was chucked at her head, wether it was deliberate or not is unknown. "So what would you like, hmmm?! Lamps? Maps? Changeling repellant? Or, just maybe, would you like to GET THE TARTARUS OF MY STORE AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"
The princess had to duck again as a hammer was thrown at her, this time seeming a lot more intentional. First contact was failing. It was time to bring out the big guns.
"Pinkie Pie, would you please tell Fracture that I would like to buy an advanced guide to ancient magical symbols."
The pink earth pony happily bounded towards the unstable stallion, dodging an entire chair while doing so.
"What's gotten you so upset, Fracture?" She asked, a happy smile still beaming from her face.
The counter shook as Fracture's front hooves slammed on top of it. The stallion looked at Pinkie in the face with a seriously pissed off expression.
"I was in the process of writing the single greatest Daring Do fanfiction in the history of all damn Equestria. And it just so happens that I woke up this morning to discover that I have no idea WHERE THE BUCK I PUT THE PAGES!"
He continued to throw objects off his desk, from pencils to whole cupboards, more likely to release his anger than to try and find his pages.
Pinkie continued to stare at the drama with a huge smile. "Did you try looking in your room?"
"Where...do you think...I looked...IN THE FIRST PLACE?!"
"The dining room?"
"I already looked there!"
"The attic?"
"I don't have an attic!"
"The counter?"
"What the buck do you think I'm doing?!"
"The bathroom?"
"Are you just an idiot?!"
"Yes!"
The red eyes seemed to glow with pure fury as he stared the elated pink pony in the eyes.
"Keep this up...and I will unleash the Kumbertish upon you!"
Pinkie's expression suddenly turned to one of complete horror. "No...no, no, no...Not the Kumbertish!"
"Yes the Kumbertish!"
"No, please! In the name of Celestia! In the name of Luna! In the name of sweet Lauren Faust above! Anything but the Kumbertish!"
"Mwahahahaha!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
The screaming and shouting was suddenly replaced by awkward silence. The two earth ponies just stared at each other.
"What's the Kumbertish?"
Fracture put on a face of pondering. "I actually have no idea."
There was another round of awkward silence, followed by the two of them falling over in laughter. Twilight couldn't resist the urge to giggle at it herself.
When the stallion got up from behind his desk, his eyes had gone from black to normal white, and his mane and irises had gone from blood red to bright yellow, with pupils now present in his eyes.
"That was some of the most fun I've had all week." He giggled. "You know what, the fanfiction can wait. Business should always come before creative contributions to your fandom."
Twilight sighed with relief and approached the counter. "That's good to hear. Now fracture, I need an advanced guide to ancient magical symbols, and while we're at it I would also like a model-300 FRC microscope. I hope that isn't a problem."
He put on another face of pondering, and perked up suddenly. "Yeah, I think I got some of those in my upstairs storage room. I'll just go fetch those."
As he walked up the stairs, Twilight turned to face Pinkie. "Pinkie that was amazing! I don't think I've ever seen anypony convert Fracture from one mood to another like that."
Pinkie performed a smile that had a hint of smugness. "Twi, never doubt Pinkamena Diane Pie when it comes to bringing a smile to the face of the common pony."
"Yeah, I guess I never--"
She was cut off by the sound of an elated cry.
They turned around to see Fracture running down the stairs with a bronze colored microscope, a purple book, and a collection of pages. Another noticeable difference was the fact that his eyes had gone black again, and his pupils had disappeared, but his irises and mane were now cyan.
"This is great!" He yelled in voice filled with joy." I was coming back from the storage room with the stuff, but I thought I'd take a quick wizz, and it turns out, I DID LEAVE THE PAGES IN THE BATHROOM!"
He projected a huge smile that seemed to radiate the very essence of happiness.
"Well that's good to hear. So, how much would these items be?"
"That would be 320 bits please."
A purse was levitated out of Twilights small bag, and she pulled out the exact amount of bits she needed. Being a princess did have certain economic advantages.
Fracture snagged the money and presented Twilight with a bag of her purchased items. "Great, thanks for your business. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to the passionate love scene between Daring Do and Ahuizotl junior."
The two mares left the stallion scribbling furiously at a sheet of paper, with an almost disturbing look on his face.
***
"...and so there we were, the Cyberponies slowly closing in on us, going all 'Delete! Delete!'. And then the doctor was like 'Bananas are good.' and chucked this banana at them. And all this white mush splatted across the leaders face, confusing the group. Using the time this bought us, he used his sonic screwdriver to open the door, get us through, and lock the door behind us. It was one of the most fun near death experiences I've ever had!"
As fun as Pinkies stories were to listen to, Twilight had to get a point across.
"Uh, Pinkie, its likely that Sunset will be at the castle when we get there, so, could you please keep your little your little theories to yourself. You're not exactly the best at keeping quiet when something's on your mind."
"Whatever you say Twilight, I still don't consider them theories though."
"Just don't talk about them."
The daylight reflected off the castle walls, causing it to sparkle like a star (as in a very small star that doesn't disintegrate everything in a ten mile radius). It felt quite fitting, given that it was Twilights castle and a star happened to be her cutie mark.
When they got to the throne room, there was a truly surprising sight before them.
A table was set in the middle of the ring of thrones, with a game of Oubliettes and Ogres set up, and playing it was one of the most unlikely groups imaginable. Sunset Shimmer, Spike, and Discord.
Sunset's head was buried in some kind of manual. "Spike, roll for damage."
The dragon shook his fist and released an eight sided dice, which revealed a four. He looked at the yellow unicorn nervously. "How am I doing?"
She looked at him with a face that revealed no emotion. "I've got good news and bad news for your archer, Spike. While he has successfully defeated the zebra witch, his arms have been cursed. He will have to use only melee attacks for the next three turns."
Spike responded by raising his arms in dismay. "Curses! That removes half my combat bonuses!"
Sunset looked at the Draconequus. "Discord, your turn."
The spirit of chaos was dressed in really well done elf cosplay, complete with a frighteningly real looking great sword strapped to his back. He rolled the dice, which projected six dots, causing him to pump his fist in success.
"Looks like you've escaped from the goblin trap, please move six spaces."
As Discord moved his figurine across the board, Pinkie Pie bounded towards them. "Ooh, ooh! Can I join in?!"
The three players turned to see the two mares that had just entered the room. While Discord was still focusing on the game, Spike and Sunset responded with happy smiles, the latter walking over to Twilight and giving her an affectionate hug.
The princess couldn't resist the blushing. "Its great to see you Sunset."
"I know." The yellow mare broke the hug. "It feels like its been so much longer than five days."
"So do you want to go to the library now?"
"Excuse me!" Called Discord. "We are in the middle of an Oubliettes and Ogres game. I spent countless hours working on this cosplay, and I would hate it to go to waste. By the way miss Shimmer, its your turn."
Sunset walked over to the table, sitting on her chair and looking back at the violet alicorn. "Sorry Twilight, I'd like to finish this game before getting on to the other stuff. Don't worry, the average Oubliettes and Ogres game only takes about three days."
Twilights jaw dropped in shock, and Sunset responded by bursting into laughter.
"I'm just kidding. It shouldn't take that much longer than two hours, you can watch if you want."
"Sure, why not?"
***
The game took more like three hours, but it was a pretty big joy to watch. As a fan of the works of J.R.R. Trotkien, she could appreciate the effort and lore put behind it.
When it was finished Discord and Pinkie Pie left the castle, Pinkie saying she had some rainbow cupcakes to bake, and Discord saying that Angel bunny had some tormenting to cash in.
Twilight, Sunset and even Spike went on to working in the library, as was promised. While Spike was put to placing new arrivals in their bookshelves (Twilight was sure that he could at least do it right), the two mares continued what they had been doing previously, properly organizing the books and collecting the ones that Twilight needed.
Twilight was dismayed to see the sun slowly setting, and the sky darkening. After the sky went full black, Sunset uttered the words Twilight had been dreading for some time.
"Its getting pretty late, it looks like I'll have to soon."
Twilight's heart sank at the sentence. Sure she would get to see her tomorrow, but she felt like she hadn't seen enough of Sunset for the time that had passed.
"I wish you could stay. I was...going to do some research on Starswirl's book. I was hoping I could read it with a fellow student of Celestia..."
Sunset's face turned to one of thinking, then perked up suddenly. "Wait just a minute."
She ran over to the mirror and levitated the book onto the pedestal, activating the process of transferring energy and initiating mechanisms. As the portal opened, it looked like Sunset intended on leaving, causing a feeling of dismay to explode in Twilight. She was surprised to see the unicorn pull a cellphone out of her bag, and even more surprised to see her successfully get a hold of someone.
"Hey miss Peachbottom? Yeah its Sunset. About the whole 'overnight' thing..."