“Yo Octavia, you want to hear something cool?” asked Vinyl. It was the early the next morning, and the two ponies were heading to the address mentioned on the poster, walking by the river to get there. Although there were some ponies passing by them every now and then, for the most part the streets of Manehattan were abandoned.
“Oh? What is it?” Octavia replied.
“Well, you remember how when we were in prison, using my genius intellect and the miniature sub-woofer I’d snuck in – the Chekov’s Gun model – I was able to break us out of our cell?” Vinyl asked. “Well, I was thinking – the sub-woofer was pretty helpful there, yeah?”
“Certainly,” agreed Octavia. She stopped for a moment to let a pony canter past her, possibly on their way to work. “The guards didn’t detect it on you on our way into the prison, and I was surprised – but pleased – when you were able to use it to blow up the lock to our cell.”
“Exactly,” said Vinyl, grinning. “So, with that in mind, what would you say if I said that I had picked up a new sub-woofer? Since you never know when it might come in handy and whatnot.”
Octavia was slightly surprised, but couldn’t deny that Vinyl had a point. “Good thinking, Vinyl,” she said. “Is this another of the Chekov’s Gun 5000s?”
“Nah, I got an even better model!” said Vinyl. Looking at Vinyl, Octavia could see little signs which she had long ago realised was evidence of Vinyl getting excited – her tail flicking every few seconds excitedly, a slight spring to her step, and talking a bit faster than usual. “The model I got is the Red Herring 10,000!”
Octavia smiled, pleased to see Vinyl in such an excellent mood. “Red Herring? That’s an odd name for a sub-woofer,” she commented.
“Yeah, it is a bit funny, isn’t it?” agreed Vinyl. “But who cares? I’m sure that the Red Herring will come in handy at some point, and I’ll try and modify it so – hey! I think that’s the building!” The two ponies had arrived at a warehouse located on the Manehattan docks, which, if the address on the poster was correct, was where they were supposed to go for recruitment. Hanging outside the warehouse was a blue banner with the same abstract cobra head which had been on the poster on it, along with some guards wearing blue robes.
“Well, shall we?” asked Octavia after staring at the warehouse alongside Vinyl for a few more seconds.
“Sure!” said Vinyl Scratch. The two ponies trotted up to the entrance, only for one of the guards to put out a hoof, stopping them in place.
“Halt!” he said. “What is your purpose for coming to this secret warehouse, the hidden headquarters of COBRA? Are you aware that the purpose of COBRA is supposed to be a secret, and that you should not be here?”
“It won’t be a secret for much longer if you keep shouting like that,” Octavia muttered under her breath.
“Uh, hi there!” said Vinyl cheerfully, not hearing Octavia. “We saw one of your posters, and were hoping that we could –”
“So, you are here to crush the reigning sovereigns beneath the poisonous hoof of COBRA?” interrupted the second guard.
“We, uh…” Taken aback by the question, Vinyl looked to Octavia, who could only shrug. “Um… is there any chance that we could talk to –”
“No! Hail COBRA!” said the first guard angrily. The second guard rolled his eyes.
“I keep telling you, that’s not our damn motto,” he said. “You’re mixing us up with that other group.”
“Oh yeah, Dave? Well why don’t you say our stupid motto, and you’ll remember why I keep saying the other one!” the first guard retorted.
“Screw you!”
“No, screw you!”
In the argument between the two guards, Vinyl and Octavia had naturally been forgotten about. Shrugging to Octavia, Vinyl waved a hoof to try and grab the guards’ attention. “Excuse me?” she said, slightly louder than she would normally speak. The guards ignored her, still arguing incessantly to one another.
“Well, what now?” asked Octavia, looking slightly confused by what was in her opinion a petty argument.
“Beat them up and force our way in?” Vinyl suggested. “I’ll take the one on the left – if I throw him into the water, then you can –”
“Vinyl, what are you talking about? No!” Octavia exclaimed. “We’re here to apply for jobs, not to beat up the employees of the organisation which we’ll hopefully soon be working for.” There was a moment of silence. “And anyway, I should fight the one on the left – I can throw him further than you can, so it’s easier for me to get him into the water.”
“Is that a challenge?” Vinyl asked, smiling as she braced herself to charge at the guard on the left, who had just been punched by the other guard.
“Excuse me,” came a new voice from behind Vinyl and Octavia, “but who exactly are you-”
“-two?” finished a second voice, incredibly similar to the first. Vinyl and Octavia spun around. Behind them were two ponies – unicorns with white fur and black manes, wearing white suits. They would have been identical, if it weren’t for one of the unicorns having a large scar down his cheek. “And why are our guards beating each other-”
“-up?” finished the unicorn with the scar. He winced as one of the guards spat out a tooth.
For her part, Vinyl was amazed. “You two – you finish each other’s sentences!” she exclaimed. “How do you do that? Is it some sort of psychic connection?”
Both ponies chuckled. “Not really,” said the unscarred unicorn. “We just practice a –”
“-lot.”
“Can you believe that, Octavia?” Vinyl gasped. “That’s so-”
“-awesome?” finished Octavia smirking slightly. Vinyl looked shocked.
“Octavia? When did you get a psychic connection to me?”
“We are the brothers Xamot-” began the scarred unicorn.
“-and I am Tomax. I- I mean, and Tomax,” finished the unscarred one. “Now…”
In unison, the brothers asked, “Who are you two and what are you doing here?!”
“Sirs!” Vinyl jumped as one of the guards – this one sporting a bloody nose which hadn’t been there a few minutes ago - approached Xamot and Tomax. At the entrance to the warehouse the other guard was on the ground, completely still. “These two ponies just arrived a few minutes ago. They said that they saw one of our posters!”
“Is that so?” Xamot said, raising an eyebrow. Turning to Vinyl and Octavia, he said, “In that case, you two can go –”
“-away,” finished Tomax. Xamot frowned and shook his head, eliciting a confused look from Tomax. “…Inside? Seriously? I – I mean, inside. You two can go inside.”
“Huzzah! We got inside the building!” cheered Vinyl as she and Octavia headed towards the warehouse.
“True, but we still don’t know what exactly COBRA does,” Octavia pointed out. Turning back to Tomax and Xamot, who were following her and Octavia, Octavia asked, “Excuse me, but what should we do once we’re inside?”
“Sit down with the rest of the troopers,” instructed Xamot. “You’ll receive further-”
“-instructions,” finished Tomax as Vinyl and Octavia entered the warehouse. The main area of the warehouse had a group of ponies sitting on chairs, facing towards a currently-empty stage. The two brothers walked off into a corner somewhere, whilst Vinyl and Octavia sat on the nearest chairs.
“Well, I suppose that the only thing to do now is to wait and see what happens next,” said Octavia, straining her neck to see over the crowd.
“You have fun doing that, Octavia,” said Vinyl. “I’m gonna get some networking done; meet some of the ponies who could be our bosses in the future.” She turned to her right, where a golden pegasus was sitting. “Hi! I’m Vinyl Scratch!” she greeted.
“Death to the princesses!” replied the golden pegasus.
“Death to the princesses, to you too!” Vinyl returned friendlily.
Octavia had overheard them, and winced. “Vinyl, what was that?” she asked.
“What was what?” asked Vinyl innocently.
“You know what I’m talking about,” Octavia said. “Are you and that pony planning to murder our benevolent rulers?”
“Nah, don’t stress it, Octavia,” said Vinyl. “I figured I’d just return her somewhat-weird greeting, that’s all. The ending of our Pony Tales campaign aside, why would we – or anypony, for that matter – wish to harm the princesses?”
Octavia nodded, satisfied with Vinyl’s answer. “You’re absolutely correct. I would be amazed if a single pony here wished to overthrow Celestia and…” Her voice trailed off as a new thought occurred to her. “Vinyl, what the guards said outside as we approached…”
Vinyl shrugged. “Maybe it was a test, to see how we’d react?” she suggested.
“I suppose that’s the only rational answer,” agreed Octavia. “It’s not as if-”
Octavia was interrupted by a drumroll coming from somewhere. At the same time, the crowd of ponies started cheering and stomping their hooves on the ground. The source of all of this soon became apparent – the pony in blue robes from the COBRA poster was walking up some stairs to the stage. From what could be seen of his coat, he was navy blue. Other than that, his features were obscured – it was impossible to tell what race he was, and his cutie mark was covered by the robes.
The pony stood on the stage for a short while, before holding out a hoof to silence the crowd. The noise died immediately. “You all know who I am,” he began.
“Who are you?” shouted out Vinyl from the back row. Octavia shushed her.
“I am the Serpent Superior, the commander of COBRA,” continued the pony, ignoring Vinyl. “And you all know who you are – or rather, what you are. You are all my COBRA Troopers. COBRA, of course, is dedicated to-”
“Hey, Octavia!” said Vinyl, letting the Serpent Superior babble on in the background. “He said that we’re all COBRA Troopers – I think we got the job!”
“What, just by showing up here?” Octavia asked. “That seems unlikely.”
“Well, Serpent Superior said so, and we did pass the test to get past the guards outside,” Vinyl pointed out. “I don’t see why not.”
Octavia frowned. “Well, nevertheless, I’d like to know what exactly our apparently-new job duties consist of.”
“Good point,” agreed Vinyl. “I’ll ask.” She thrust a hoof into the air.
“-anarchy will reign, and – yes?” Serpent Superior asked as he spotted Vinyl’s hoof. “What is it, my most generic of COBRA Troopers?”
“Hey, I’m not generic!” said Vinyl. “I’m the one and only Vinyl Scratch, baby!”
Serpent Superior sighed. “What was your question, Trooper?”
“Uh, yeah, my friend here and I were just wondering when we get to see the snakes,” Vinyl said. Although the warehouse had already been fairly quiet, the silence somehow increased as she finished speaking. Everypony in the room was staring at Vinyl as though she had just revealed herself to actually be a dragon in an elaborate pony costume.
“What snakes?” asked Serpent Superior, deadpan.
“W-well,” began Vinyl, feeling a bit more nervous now, “this organisation is called COBRA, right? So that means that we work with snakes or something, doesn’t it?”
Somehow, the stares got more intense as Serpent Superior slammed a hoof into his face. “Argh! And ouch. COBRA is an acronym, you fool! Why do you think everyone shouts it instead of saying it at normal volume?”
“Oooohhhh. That explains that,” said Vinyl. “So, what does it stand for?”
“Celestia’s Order-Breaking –”
“We work for Celestia?!” interrupted Vinyl excitedly. “When do we get to meet her? I need to apologise for killing her in Pony Tales.”
“Argh!” Serpent Superior made a grasping motion with his hooves, as if trying to strangle Vinyl from afar. “We don’t work for her! COBRA stands for Celestia’s Order-Breaking Revolution Association!”
Vinyl blinked. “Celestia’s what now?” she asked. Turning to Octavia, she asked, “Are you getting any of this?”
“That’s a terrible name for an association,” was all the Octavia said. “Do you think that they thought of the acronym first, or the name of their organisation?”
“Acronym first,” said Vinyl thoughtfully. “There’s no way that anypony could have thought that was a good name, unless they were naming it to fit something.”
“If we’re done then, could I please get back to my evil speech?” asked Serpent Superior, sounding frustrated.
“Fine, fine,” said Vinyl, rolling her eyes. Leaning to Octavia, she asked, “What does he mean by an ‘even speech’?”
“I suppose that we’ll only find out by listening,” said Octavia, focusing on Serpent Superior as he continued his speech.
“Now, where was I?” Serpent Superior muttered to himself. “Ah yes – anarchy will reign when my supreme plan is completed, and COBRA shall seize the reigns of command! You might say that we will be the Commanders from COBRA!” There was a brief pause, and somepony in the audience coughed awkwardly. “Well, whatever,” said Serpent Superior. “The point is, my magnificent plan will take place, and we will be victorious!”
“As you all know,” continued Serpent Superior, “you all made it to COBRA based upon your ruthlessness, your intellect, and your fighting skills, all of which were discovered by Tomax and Xamot.” Vinyl started to raise a hoof to ask another question, but had it pushed down gently by Octavia. “However! To ensure that the mission goes as smoothly as possible, you will all be required to take weapons training, supervised by our weapons supplier, Destroyer, over the next few days.” Serpent Superior placed a hoof to his chin in thought. “I believe that’s everything important I have to say,” he said. “Are there any questions, my COBRA Troopers?”
“What exactly is your plan that we will be partaking in, Serpent Superior?” asked somepony up the front.
“That shall be revealed in several days, in order to prevent information leaks,” answered Serpent Superior.
“Are we really full COBRA Troopers now?” asked somepony else.
“Once your weapons training is complete, yes,” replied Serpent Superior. “After all, you were all specially selected by Tomax and Xamot – it’s not like anypony wandered in here off the street after seeing one of our propaganda posters.”
“Uh…” began Vinyl, about to put a hoof up.
“COBRA Troopers! Your first meeting has been successful, and you have all earned the right to morning tea!” announced Serpent Superior, cutting Vinyl off. “Meet in The Coffee Lounge in fifteen minutes! Retreeeaaat!!”
With that, everypony got up and started heading out the warehouse doors, crowding past a very confused Vinyl and Octavia, who were still sitting down in the back row.
“Damn! I was hoping to find out what our hourly rate is!” Vinyl said, stomping a hoof in frustration.
“I’m still amazed that we got jobs just by showing up here,” Octavia said. “Although with all of that talk of weapons training, I’m not sure what exactly we’ll have to do once we’re on the job.”
Vinyl stopped and thought for a moment. “Ah ha! I’ve got it!” she said. “COBRA must be an extermination company specialising in getting rid of snakes!”
“Of course!” said Octavia. “That explains why the name – it’s ironic!”
“Although that being said, it only makes the actual name of the organisation – not the acronym – even more badly named,” said Vinyl seriously.
“Yes – you’d think that they wouldn’t get much business given that the name is a misnomer,” agreed Octavia. “Anyway, how do you feel about us sticking here in COBRA for a while?”
“A-Okay with me, as long as it’s A-Okay with you, sexy,” said Vinyl, grinning.
“Who are you calling sexy, sexy?” asked Octavia, grinning herself and kissing Vinyl. It lasted for a good few seconds.
“Mmm! Nothing better to start off my new job than a kiss from my marefriend!” said Vinyl cheerfully, making Octavia laugh. “Shall we head off and join our co-workers for morning tea?”
“Sure,” said Octavia, wrapping her tail around Vinyl’s as the two ponies started heading out of the warehouse. “It will be nice to meet our co-workers…although…”
“What is it?” asked Vinyl.
“I can’t help but wonder what weapons training will be like…”