It might not have been every day that Pinkie Pie found an excuse to invite the whole of Ponyville to a party, but everypony agreed that it was certainly at least twice a week. On a good week she could even get four parties going, and Pinkie would quite happily talk away for hours about that one time she had made one party last almost five days. It was, she proclaimed, a world record, though not uncontested (much to her dismay).
Despite their regularity, Pinkie somehow managed to keep the parties fresh. After all, what use was a party if it became predictable, or even boring? No, a party existed for the sole purpose of enjoyment and excitement, and Pinkie Pie always seemed to find just the right way to keep those two things alive late into the night.
Tonight’s was a loud party, and unsurprisingly a number of ponies were missing.
Fluttershy had left the moment the volume began to climb, the music pressing in on her and making her feel uncomfortably small. She’d whispered her apologies too quietly to hear above the music, but nopony minded; Pinkie had always been careful to make sure Fluttershy never felt overwhelmed by her parties, and had even given the timid pegasus a few minutes of cheerful conversation outside before she insisted that she really had to get back home, if that was alright with Pinkie, anyway.
Cheerilee, too, had excused herself before leaving after a few songs, for she had classes to plan and grading she really couldn’t leave any longer, as much as she wanted to. Applejack had said something about apple bucking season, but Pinkie had convinced her that maybe another hour wouldn’t do any harm. At first it looked as if Ditzy hadn’t made it, but it wasn’t long before Rainbow Dash spotted her sitting quietly in one corner of the room, her eyes closed and her head leaning against the wall, oblivious to the crushing noise around her.
Rainbow wasn’t looking for Ditzy, though.
She took another swig of punch as her eyes swept through the crowds. The ponies around her were dancing, bodies writhing around her in a sea of motion, but Rainbow had long dropped the act of joining in. She had been almost overcome by her curiosity, and she needed to know the answer.
Where was Twilight?
She hadn’t seen the librarian in a few days now, and Rainbow was starting to get more than just a little worried. Twilight might have been a little bit of a recluse, and she certainly might have had a habit of locking herself away for days at a time to research, but Rainbow hadn’t seen the tell-tale signs of the library lights shining brightly into the dark into the early hours of the morning, or the early-morning trip Twilight always took whilst on a studying spree to buy more coffee. Rainbow was starting to get just a little bit worried.
No, not worried. She didn’t get worried. She was just curious, and wanted to look out for her dear friend. That was all.
Even when studying, Twilight wouldn’t miss out on two parties in a row, would she?
“Heya Dashie!”
Rainbow blinked twice, her vision now mostly full of Pinkie Pie who had inexplicably appeared in front of her, barely a foot away. Rainbow took a moment to adjust herself before cracking a wide smile.
“Hey Pinkie,” she said, clearing her throat and taking another swig of punch. “Awesome party, as usual.”
“Thanks.” Pinkie seemed truly pleased at the compliment, even though it had been given a thousand times before by a hundred different ponies. “But my ear was a-flopping and that means somepony wasn’t enjoying a party, so I was looking around at the dance floor to try and find out who it was and I saw you looking around all confused and frowny. Is something wrong?”
Rainbow chuckled.
“No, Pinkie,” she said. “Nothing’s wrong. I was just looking for somepony and couldn’t see her, that’s all.”
It was supposed to be reassuring, but Pinkie Pie gasped, her eyes widening in shock.
“Somepony hasn’t come to the party?” She looked around, her expression hardening into a glare as she tried to work out who it had been. “But I invited everypony! Nopony said they weren’t coming, well, except Cranky Doodle, but he and Matilda never come to my parties even though I always make sure to send them a small, quiet invitation just to let them know they’re welcome, and I don’t think you’d be looking for either of them anyway—”
“Twilight, Pinkie,” Rainbow explained, cutting the earth pony off as she thought aloud as fast as her mouth could speak. “Twilight Sparkle isn’t here.”
“Oh,” Pinkie said, her glare gone and replaced with a simple smile. “That’s okay, then. She’d have quite some difficulty getting to a party in Ponyville all the way from Canterlot.”
Rainbow frowned. She blinked and took a breath, the music around her forgotten as she tried to process what had just been said.
“Why’s Twi in Canterlot?” Rainbow asked, slowly. She wasn’t sure why, but a little part of her was disappointed to hear the solution to her worries.
“That’s easy, silly. She’s been doing some researchy, magic stuff for Princess Celestia with some really famous scientists,” Pinkie said, flashing Rainbow a grin and bouncing off into the crowd, humming to herself. As the space around her emptied, Rainbow felt the crushing weight of the music press in on her again, and she felt warm and safe, if a little disappointed.
Of course Twilight was in Canterlot. She’d said so, hadn’t she? About a week ago, she’d said something to the five of them over dinner at Rarity’s, something about a research team and a forgotten spell. Did she really mean she’d be gone so soon? Rainbow had thought it would be in a month or so, not at once.
Pushing the thoughts of Twilight from her mind, Rainbow let her body start to sway from side to side with the pulsing, heavy rhythm of the bass. Her sways became wider and more confident rapidly, and soon Rainbow found herself a part of the writhing masses, her thoughts one with the music, her heartbeat one with the thudding of the speakers and the throbbing of the heavy air around her.
It wasn’t until she bumped into somepony just a little too violently that Rainbow snapped out of the dance. She turned to face the pony she had knocked to the ground, offering Applejack a hoof and a hundred apologies as she recognised her.
“Don’t you worry ‘bout it, Rainbow,” Applejack said, taking hold of Rainbow’s hoof and pulling herself up from the ground. Rainbow could see her swaying lightly from side to side once she was upright, and something about her dazed smile made Rainbow question how much the farmer had had to drink that night.
“Are you okay, though?” Rainbow asked. It took her a moment or two to reply.
“I’m fine, Rainbow,” she said, and Rainbow could hear the slurring in her voice now. She reached a hoof out and put it around Applejack’s shoulders.
“Come on,” she said, easing Applejack forwards with a gentle pressure on her neck, “let’s get you outside. You look like you could do with some fresh air.”
“I certainly wouldn’ say no t’that.”
It was a struggle to get the inebriated mare out of the party; with a sea of ponies to navigate through and Applejack’s unsteady footing it took all of her concnetration just to avoid Applejack falling into the ponies around her. Soon enough, though, they made it outside, with Applejack quietly chuckling by Rainbow’s side. Despite herself, Rainbow found that she was breathing heavily, and rolled her eyes at the earth pony’s laughter.
“Thanks, sugarcube,” Applejack said after her laughter had died down. Rainbow snorted in derision and pushed at the ground with her hoof. “I mean it. I guess I should’ve left a few hours ago, but I was jus’ enjoyin’ myself so much I couldn’t.”
“You mean you’re too drunk to voluntarily leave, right?” Now it was Rainbow’s turn to laugh at the disgruntled look on her friend’s face, cackling openly at the scrunched-up expression of scorn.
“I ain’t that drunk,” Applejack protested. “I’m jus’ findin’ it difficult to walk straight, y’know?” Rainbow forced her laughter to subside; she didn’t want to offend Applejack, especially not while the farmer was in this kind of state. Besides, it wasn’t as if Rainbow hadn’t been drinking herself: on top of the punch at the party, Rainbow had spent the hours before the party with (of all ponies) Rarity, who had kindly offered her a glass or two of red wine. Rainbow might have been awesome, but the occasional sophistication was not beyond her.
She didn’t have wine all that often—Rainbow had always been much more interested in the harder drinks, and wine came with all those ponie who would blabber on about ‘vintage’ and ‘bouqet’ and all sorts of things she’d never understood—and it had gotten Rainbow thinking about the few times she had. Most recently, Twilight had shared a bottle with her one night as the two stayed up late to read the latest Daring Do book. She remembered how Twilight had suggested an air of class and sophistication for their bookish night in and Rainbow had laughed at the smirk on the unicorn’s lips.
She’d thought a lot about those lips, lately. That same night, for instance, Rainbow had watched as the deep red liquid flowed from Twilight’s glass into her mouth, almost morbidly fascinated. She kept on shooting glances at them from time to time throughout the evening, watching them closely each time Twilight spoke, and watching how they moved silently as Twilight’s eyes scanned the pages before her, mouthing out the words she had read.
“Applejack?” The farmer looked up, smiling curiously. “When did Twilight say she’d be back from Canterlot?”
“This weekend,” Applejack replied at once. “She didn’t say exactly when, mind you, but sometime soon. Don’t you worry yourself about her; you’ll see her soon enough.”
“I’m not worried.” Rainbow frowned. She wasn’t worried.
“Of course not, sugarcube,” Applejack replied. “But between you and me, I think you should just go ahead and ask her soon as she gets back. Worst she can do is say no.”
Rainbow frowned. Ask Twilight what, exactly? It took a moment for Applejack to notice the frown on Rainbow’s face, and her eyebrows raised slowly in questioning.
“Come on, Rainbow, if y’ain’t goin t’be honest with me, y’all could at least be honest with yourself. I’ve seen th’way you’ve been lookin’ at Twi lately, and I for one think you’ve got a—”
“What‽” Rainbow’s jaw had almost dropped with shock. She had not been looking at Twilight like that! Sure, maybe she’d been a little preoccupied staring at the mare’s lips that one night in the library, but she’d been tired. It was hardly her fault that Twilight was attractive
Twilight wasn’t attractive. Twilight was her friend: her awesome friend who showed her Daring Do and who could beat an Ursa Minor and even though she was uncool at times was still talented, smart, sexy, awesome and fun. Rainbow couldn’t be attracted to her.
“Rainbow, have you been on a single date since we broke up?”
“Have you?” Rainbow asked defensively. Applejack rolled her eyes, sighing. She took a few wobbling steps towards Rainbow Dash, before closing her eyes and steadying herself.
“That ain’t the point,” Applejack replied, taking a deep breath. Her voice sounded calm and controlled, almost forced. “There ain’t anypony who’s caught my eye. Twi, on the other hoof, has definitely caught yours.”
“I am not attracted to that egghead!” She couldn’t be. Twilight was her friend, and that was that.
“Why were you looking for her then, silly?”
Pinkie Pie was standing in the doorframe of Sugarcube Corner, a frown on her face as she tried to assess the situation before her. Applejack smirked in victory as Rainbow frowned, looking to the floor and pawing at the ground as she tried to think.
“I just wanted to know where she was.” She didn’t want to see Twilight any more than everypony else, obviously. She hadn’t been so busy trying to search for the mare because she just wanted to set eyes upon her again, because she wanted to let her eyes just focus on those mesmerising lips as Twilight’s explanation of her work and studies sailed right over her head. “That’s all,” she added, the silence of the two mares staring at her with disbelieving looks overwhelming.
“She’s in Canterlot,” Applejack replied dryly. “Twilight told you so herself, less than a week ago. Or were you to busy starin’ at her flank to listen to wh—”
“No!” Rainbow almost yelled. It was an uncomfortably warm night, and Rainbow found the cool breeze on her cheeks as she shook her head comforting against her warm coat, though it didn’t seem to cool her in the long term.
“Oh, Dashie.” Pinkie sighed, shaking her head as her voice dripped with disappointment. “We all saw you at Fluttershy’s the other week. Besides, it’s not like you have to hide anything from us.”
Rainbow spluttered, disbelieving.
“I’m not hiding anything!” she managed to say eventually. “I’m telling you guys the truth. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in m—”
A pink hoof on her muzzle silenced her mid-promise, and she looked up at Pinkie inquisitively.
“I’m not going to let you make that promise,” Pinkie said quietly. “Just because you think that you’re not lying doesn’t mean you’re not lying to yourself, too, and then you’d be breaking a Pinkie Promise. I’m not going to let you make a promise you’ll break immediately.
“Now, do you promise not to finish that promise?” Rainbow stared into Pinkie’s eyes, her own eyes wide as she nodded carefully. “Pinkie promise?”
“Uh, sugarcube?” Applejack sounded uncertain, even a little confused, as Rainbow silently mimed the motions of the promise with her hoof. “You know that don’t make one lick of sense, right?”
“Sure it does!” Pinkie said, grinning as she lifted her hoof from Rainbow’s muzzle. Rainbow took a deep breath, exaggerating for effect. “She just had to promise not to make that specific promise so that she wouldn’t break the promise that she promised not to make.”
Applejack and Rainbow Dash shared a look of mutual despair. Even after years of knowing Pinkie, they couldn’t quite convince themselves not to try to understand anything the pink mare said.
“Look, whatever,” Rainbow said, huffing out a breath which condensed as a cloud before her face. “I’m going to head home. I think I’ve had a bit too much to drink, anyway.” She spread her wings, pushing herself up into the air. Hovering above the ground for a moment, she turned to face the mares below her. “I’ll see you girls around, okay?”
“Sure thing, sugarcube.”
And soon enough Rainbow was soaring through the sky, her head clear as she relaxed into the sensation of the wind rushing past her, cold and biting against her coat; it was unseasonably cold. She dodged around some low-drifting clouds, occasionally letting her wing clip the side of one and feeling the refreshing sensation of water vapour spraying out across her back, condensing as it fell, her own personal rainfall.
It wasn’t quite dark out in the streets of Ponyville: some ponies had stayed at home, or gone home early from the party as she had, and the light from their windows leaked out into the streets, giving the cobblestones below her a scale-like effect in the shadows.
As she was nearing the edge of town she watched as the lights faded away, becoming less and less frequent as she got further and further away from the party. At last, she flew over the Library, passing into the space beyond Ponyville and towards her own cloud home, smiling as she watched the last lights of Ponyville flicker around the base of the tree, a golden glow to mark the end of the town.
It wasn’t far from there to her cloud house but Rainbow didn’t feel like she wanted to be home just yet, so she slowed down, feeling the chill of the wind lessen as she did so, the biting numbness slowly fading from the edges of her coat. Soon enough she felt warm (or, at the very least, not cold) and and she sighed in contentment as she flew gently onwards. A breeze blew up at her from below, a warm updraft and for a moment Rainbow wished she could freeze time and just stay in that one place, hovering above the ground, suspended magically in the warm air, but she knew that it wouldn’t last long on such an uncharacteristically cold night. Instead, she braced herself for leaving the warmth, but still shivered a little as the cold air hit her.
It wasn’t until she reached her own home that she realised what she had seen. She stood on her porch, looking back at Ponyville: below her and in the distance, the lights had all seemed to merge into one, a mass of amber on the horizon silhouetted by houses and buildings she knew all too well—and, closest to her, the silhouette of the Library, tall and proud at the edge of town, its wide branches indistinguishable from each other beneath the mass of dark, shadowed leaves.
Right in the middle of the tree was a spot of light, round and amber and calling her. She wanted to take off at once and fly to it, welcome Twilight home from her trip and catch up with her friend, but something kept Rainbow still. She wanted to speak with Twilight about anything and everything, to find out how her trip had gone and to tell her all about the mundane life in Ponyville she had missed for a week, but something stopped her from leaving. She wanted to sit down in the library’s kitchen and eat, just relaxing for an evening with Twilight and enjoying the mare’s company, the warm silence of another pony nearby, but something didn’t let her go.
Perhaps it was the ideas that Pinkie Pie and Applejack had planted in her mind not too many minutes ago, those false accusations that simply couldn’t be true. She wanted to say it was because she was worried about how flying straight to Twilight as soon as she got back would reflect upon her reputation, especially if everypony seemed to think she was head over hooves in love with the egghead
Attracted. They’d said she was attracted to Twilight (which she wasn’t). And so it would be terrible for her reputation if she were to speed straight over there and ask the unicorn out
Rainbow’s stomach rumbled, the blessed sensation freeing her from the tyranny of thought. She smiled as she trotted her way carefully inside, shooting one last glance at the distant tree as if considering the flight. It was time for toast.
As her hoof rested on the toaster’s handle, clicked into place, the background hum of the old toaster warming up peaceful, Rainbow realised that making toast involved standing around for a few minutes, free of any obligations to do anything, and on a night when she simply wanted to stop thinking that probably wasn’t a good plan. In spite of her excuses, Rainbow made her way slowly to the cupboards on the other side of the kitchen, pouring herself a mug of well-earned hard cider, and draining the cup with a deep moan.
The crack of the toaster ending came three mugs later, and Rainbow wasn’t entirely sure the route she had taken to reach the toaster was perfectly straight.
She picked up the warm, crispy snack in her mouth, trying to keep herself from taking a bite as she walked into the living room and flopped down on the sofa, reclining and stretching out her body completely. She grasped the toast in her hooves and slowly began to munch on it, consuming it quickly and effectively as the warm, grainy taste filled her mouth. It wasn’t much of a dinner, but it would keep hunger at bay until the morning.
Rainbow closed her eyes, meaning to drift off to sleep, but something was keeping her awake; in the back of her mind, thoughts were still turning that she had been sure she had quashed, thoughts she didn’t think could ever possibly be right. Despite herself, despite her exhaustion, despite her reputation, Rainbow Dash wanted to see Twilight Sparkle.
It wasn’t the kind of want that could be put off until the morning, either. It was the same kind of craving that Rainbow had when the last Daring Do book had come out, the unhealthy desire to sit down and tear through the pages whenever she had the chance, the feeling of unease when she wasn’t reading that lingered with her at work all day until she had come home and curled up in her bed, candle by her bedside and book in her hooves, warm and safe and comfortable. Part of her wanted that comfort, the warmth of Twilight’s hooves and the safety of
This was wrong. This was so very, very wrong and Rainbow had no idea why it was happening. She was Rainbow Dash, the most awesome flyer in Equestria; she was bold and daring and loyal, not sappy. She certainly wasn’t the kind of mare who just wanted the warmth of another pony’s embrace at night; she was far too cool for anything like that.
Except… she hadn’t always been, had she? Years before, before Twilight Sparkle had ever entered her life, she’d been interested in the company of others as more than just friends. Perhaps she’d never had anything that had lasted, but that certainly didn’t mean she had never had those relationships in the first place; it certainly didn’t mean that she hadn’t felt those kinds of things before. She remembered how, long ago, she had wanted nothing more than Applejack’s legs around her, the mare’s warmth pressed against her at night and their manes all tangled and confused on the bedsheets above them. The memory was distant, and a little bittersweet, but Rainbow knew those feelings had gone.
And she wasn’t entirely sure her desire to have Twilight hold her was any different. Or, at least, would have been if she wanted anything like that—she didn’t, of course. Clearly she was just thinking about what it would be like if she did want those things, because she didn’t. She wasn’t attracted to Twilight.
That was why she was already on her porch, wings spread, ready to fly. It made perfect sense—she knew she wasn’t attracted to Twilight, so of course it couldn’t hurt her reputation to go and see her friend. Besides, Twilight had just got in from a long journey and a challenging week of magical research, and would undoubtedly want a friend to welcome her back. She was doing Twilight a favour.
She would fly down to the library. She’d land just outside the door with a skid, twisting her body so she faced it so she could knock. Twilight would open the door, surprise on her face as she asked why Rainbow wasn’t at the party, and she would reply that she would much rather be here with Twilight than at some boring old party. The unicorn would laugh and smile and blush at that, and open the door wide so she could come in.
Rainbow would sit for a while by the fire and just listen to Twilight talk about her research. It would be fascinating—not the research, of course, because Rainbow wouldn’t understand a word her friend was saying, but the expression of pure joy at a successful experiment, or of frustration at an inexplicable reading, or even just the afterglow of getting to work on a professional research team would be mesmerising. The tone of Twilight’s voice would tell Rainbow far more than the words she was saying ever could.
After a while, Twilight would come and sit beside her at the fireplace, and they would just relax. It had been a long day for both of them, after all, and they were both undeniably very tired. It would be a sleepy kind of relaxing, the kind that just let them be who they were without stopping to worry about all the little details or keeping up the pretenses of a reputation.
Twilight would ask her again why she’d come over, and she’d reply again with the same answer she’d given at first, only this time, with their bodies so close together, she wouldn’t quite be able to hide the blush on her cheeks or the gleam in her eye. Twilight would look surprised as she realised what thoughts were going through Rainbow’s mind, the rapidly changing expressions on her face as she thought at a million miles an hour breathtaking. And then she saw it, right there, in the corner of Twilight’s eye—the acknowledgement.
In that moment, they knew what they both wanted, but were frozen by indecision. Twilight was overthinking it, of course, the twitches in her eyes telling Rainbow all she needed to know—she leaned forwards, slowly, closing the gaps between their muzzles, and pressed her lips to Twi
Rainbow Dash felt her wings drop to her sides as she watched the small dot of amber in the middle of the library’s silhouette blink itself out of existence, and the sudden impact brought her out of her musings. She shook her head, violently, trying to clear her head of the thoughts Applejack and Pinkie had made her think. She wasn’t attracted to Twilight.
Unable to shake the thoughts of Twilight’s lips pressing against hers from her mind, Rainbow slowly trudged upstairs to her bedroom and all but threw herself onto her bed. Despite how tired she was, despite how comfortably she sank into the cloud mattress beneath her, Rainbow couldn’t quite rid herself of the nervous tension that filled her body. She tossed and turned, but no matter how she lay she couldn’t fall asleep. She almost laughed at the very idea of Ponyville’s premier napper being unable to sleep, but she was too tired to bother. She rolled over onto her side again, and almost on instinct curved a foreleg under her pillow.
It wasn’t until she’d pulled her pillow down beside her and wrapped her legs around it, holding it close to her, that Rainbow Dash finally fell asleep, a soft smile toying at the edges of her lips and Twilight Sparkle’s name just barely whispered on her breath.