Floating in the air and glaring at the latest threat to Equestria’s continued well being below me with its face that had features made from fire and rocks surrounded by flowing lava situated in its chest, I had to wonder two things.
The first had me wondering just how the hell the imprisoned creatures knew about the passage of time in the first place. Did every banishment/imprisonment effect had some law that put the maximum amount of time served at about a millennium so when the bad guys got out, they could set the dates on their watches to a reasonable guesstimate?
The second thing was: Where in the hell is Godzilla when you really need him? With all the giant monsters roaming around as of late, Equestria could really use a giant radioactive lizard that breathed green fire and took care of that kind of shit. That wasn’t the job of a pony! They sung, danced, made out, and solved problems while teaching life lessons! Fighting giant monsters, while cool, was just...not pony.
“What the hay is that thing?”
As the pre-pubescent voice stopped ringing in my ears, I looked back at the rather small dragon with a small frown. Truth be told, I wasn’t actually mad at Spike for shouting in my ear that time. It was his existence as a very crappy answer to my question that helped me drudge up some anger at Equestria in general.
But then the part of my brain that was geared towards surviving until nightfall made me look back towards the demon with an upper torso sticking out of the mountain. The action let me catch sight of the titanic bad guy pitching an empty hand at me that shot forth a trio of blazing balls of magma and flew right where I was hovering.
Oh great, he saw me, I thought as Spike screamed in my ear before I dodged.
Thanks to the vast amount of distance between us, it was pretty easy for me to be gone from their general vicinity before the attack got even halfway to where I was flying. Then I dodged a second, third, fourth, and fifth volley before deciding it was probably a good idea to get out of the monster’s line of fire. While I was in no real danger from the demonic pitcher, I kept imagining the great balls of fire he was chunking landing on ponies half a mile away that were minding their own business until their lives were cruelly ended for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Since the guy didn’t seem to be growing a head, I decided the best course of action at the moment was to just move behind him, and quickly did so via teleportation before I landed on a nice section of ground that had enough trees to hide little old me should the burning blob manage to turn around, but not so many that they obstructed my view of him. Out of the creature’s line of sight, I had a few seconds to think of a way to deal with said monster.
“GAAAA! COWARD! FACE LAVAN! LORD OF THE FLOWING FIRE! SUPREME SERVANT OF SOMBRA! FACE ME ALICORN!”
After finding my footing on the solid ground that was still trembling ever so slightly, I finally got around to addressing Spike’s question. “And other than that, he’s some kind of elemental demon,” I explained. “Like that thing that showed up in the Crystal Empire and tried to eat every pony’s shadow. But made of fire and junk.”
In fact, if he followed the same rules as Evil Smog Guy, then the demon had to have some kind of statue or something at his center as well. It was what gave him form and anchorage to Equestria. Without it, all that lava that formed his body was…well…just lava. Although how the magical center was actually surviving being in the middle of a moving mountain of molten magma, I had no idea.
Was it protected somehow?
Was it made of adamantium?
Drenched in SPF 5,000,000?
What?
Up above me and a ways off, the giant pile of red gak began to move and struggle. It shifted left, then right, then it let out a bellowing shout before slamming its fist down on the side of the mountain. The blow caused a small avalanche before he grabbed the sides of the landmark and grunted while struggling back and forth with his whole body. Despite what was going on, I couldn’t help but think of a fat guy that had fallen into something and couldn’t get out.
But with the little bit of time given to me, I quickly assessed the situation to try and figure out something to do Unlike the creature in the Crystal Empire, I couldn’t just randomly throw magic through Lavan’s body while hoping to hit his weak point, and there would be no challenge to the demon to gain superiority over it this time around. The monster had been called about a thousand years ago, after all. I had nothing to do with the blood that hit the summoning altar.
What was even worse was that Lavan didn’t have a master at all. While I didn’t know for absolute certain that Sombra called up the creature, I was pretty sure its boss was no longer around. The idea of a giant the size of that thing just wandering around free actually sounded worse than having a killer dog on a leash that was being held by a psychopath.
And even if I did beat him, lava was much deadlier than air pollution. Without something to hold him together, his body would flow out of the volcano and into the land surrounding it. In my minds eye, I could see the victory party in Canterlot that would happen after Lavan got creamed turn to shrieks of horror when the demons dead body just fell forward and onto the city.
Okay plan, need a plan, I thought to myself.
Since the last plan involving such a creature boiled down to flying around and shooting it at random had no real effect other than nearly getting me some other ponies killed, I didn’t really think that was the best idea.
“What’re we gonna do?”
Spike’s question drew me out of my thoughts, or lack thereof really, and I looked at the little dragon sitting on my back before I put my butt on the ground to make him slide off. “Just a second,” I told the kid before resuming my natural form with its better protection and precise flight control. Despite all the time I had spent training with Dash for the Games before Derpy took my place, I could still turn, bob and weave much better with insect wings than I could with feathered ones.
As anything I did do would probably involve more dodging than anything else, I wanted maximum maneuverability. Being coated in an armored shell didn’t hurt when I didn’t have anything in the way of defensive magic either.
But I still needed to find a way to reach the monster’s achilles heel, and I really had with me was a whiney lizard that needed to be at home in bed where it was safe.
I looked back at the dragon behind me. “Hey Spike, mind if I ask you something?” I asked. The question had me kicking myself, I always hated it when people did that to me.
The response I got wasn’t very encouraging. “We don‘t have time for talking, we need to call the princesses for help!” the dragon replied before he started looking around.
I frowned at him for a second, and sighed when I guessed what he was trying to find. “Well since I doubt there’s any stationary around here, I’ll take care of it. Just… kick me in the plot to wake me up if anything happens.” The fact that Tia hadn’t just popped into view was a little disconcerting. She had to be able to see the monster from anywhere in Canterlot that had a view of the north. I needed to check up on things.
Then I laid down to close my eyes and entered the hive mind. After a few seconds of thought, I sent a message through to one of the changelings ‘sleeping’ in Canterlot’s telecommunications office, then started to awaken.
At least I started to. But I changed my mind a second later and focused on my connection with Tia to see what was going on at her end of things. For all I knew, she was already suiting up and rallying the troops with a plan that was better than the tiny beginnings of the one I was coming up with.
I found Celestia in the middle of a controlled mob of guards and nobles. She was as naked as ever except for the tiara on her head and that giant golden necklace of hers, standing in the center of her throne room while well over a dozen voices were talking to her at once, and even more ponies behind the ones running their mouths seemed to be waiting their turn to do the same.
While I could only pick up bits and pieces of the conversations, Celestia didn’t seem to have much trouble hearing everything and addressing the important issues. “Once the unicorn guard ponies lead the evacuees through the tunnels have them return to the palace. Earth ponies members will follow with supplies and go with the train to distribute food and other necessities as well as set up a refugee camp,” she said before looking to a few ponies in fancy clothes. “All civilian passengers are restricted to saddle bags only.”
She looked at a unicorn scholar. “Every unicorn in advanced classes and the professors are to report to the palace to assist in powering a protection spell. Have them report to Shining Armor or my sister as soon as either of them arrives. I’ll have them wait here in the throne room.”
A guard became the focus of her attention next. “And just where the buck is Luna?” she shouted, which actually made the other ponies stop their yammering.
The white pegasus looked around nervously for a moment, and gulped. “Yes, well um…you sister has erected a barrier and her quarters and isn‘t responding to knocking or our shouting so-”
“Again?” the alicorn demanded in surprise before switching to a grumble. “First she decides to sleep in during the wedding and now…ugh! That mare has the worst sense of timing! Fly around her apartment and break down a window, or knock out a wall if you have to! Just wake her up! We don’t have time to wait for the earthquakes to do it for us.”
A few more ponies tried to press Celestia on the issue of carry on luggage only, but she ignored them in favor of another white pegasus that became the focus of Tia’s angry attention. “What are you still doing here? I ordered you to go to Cloudsdale and have the Wonderbolts bring us all the rain clouds they currently have in storage!”
The guard gulped. “Yes well um…your highness, I just thought that was a mistake, I mean…all of them?”
“YES!” the goddess shouted at the pegasus, which sent the pony into a cowering bow before he dashed off towards the throne room’s exit.
The alicorn's irate panic grew a bit as she looked around the crowd and her lips curled into a little snarl as more and more of the angry worry that I could feel flowing through her made its way to her face. “And where is changeling Number Four? Is he done sending out the general warning to the other cities yet?”
When the black bug arose from the crowd and hovered over them, Celestia frowned. “Did you send the message?”
“Yes, Celestia.”
The fact that #4 addressed Tia in such a way made me a little irritated at his manners, but the changelings didn’t really acknowledge Equestrian authority all that much. They followed the rules because I told them to, but actually respecting the ponies was a whole other cup of tea. Ponies were our prey after all. It was like asking a bear to have a nice dinner with a rabbit and not eat them.
A normal bear that is, not the doormat that Fluttershy had as an overgrown pet.
“Good,” the goddess replied curtly. “Now, what is the status of my…the six mares of importance in Ponyville?”
“The pink one is currently in Sugar Cube corner, Yellow has yet to leave her house for the day, the whiney pony is sewing at her working dormitory, the orange one was last seen in the northwest fields, and both of the concubines have been arguing loudly in the castle.”
If I had been there, I would have smacked the damn changeling. Twilight and Rainbow were hardly my concubines, courtesans, waifus, or other such nonsense.
Me and Rainbow were Twilight’s.
As the remaining ponies in fancy clothing started muttering to themselves, Celestia looked around the room, silencing all of them with a glare. “I’ve already given the lot of you your evacuation orders. Why are you still here?”
“Princess, I must protest the seizure of our property like this!” one of the darker unicorns in a tux with a tophat complained. “Your guards that took my ship said you were using it to-to shuttle away ponies that-”
Celestia drove a hoof into the ground hard enough to crack the floor, silencing the stallion and making the rest of the nobility inch away from him. “Fancy Shmancy! If you have a problem with the guard using your airship to transport the weak and infirm from the city after it has sailed, I would remind you and all of your friends that without such conveyances, you will have to get in line and wait your turn to leave Canterlot on your hooves! So rather than sitting here running your mouth, I would suggest you begin RUNNING FOR YOUR LIVES!” she finished in a voice that made the windows shake.
The loss of the goddess’s temper had the desired effect. One thing I had to say about panicking ponies, they sure as hell did it in an orderly fashion. A few seconds, and some screaming later, the throne room was empty of ponies except for the angry princess and her trio of guards. And there was absolutely no trampling, shoving or knocking each other around as they galloped away at top speed.
Then Tia was on the move, heading out of the room with three ponies and one changeling on her heels. I felt guilty concern run through Celestia’s mind as she turned her head and looked at the changeling for a few seconds before speaking while hurrying down the hall. “What’s wrong with Twilight and Rainbow now?”
“The purple one is accusing the pegasus of hiding something, but the blue one is claiming otherwise, very loudly. Which is causing the alicorn to become even louder in her accusations that something is wrong.”
Celestia groaned and shook her head. “Why can’t those two just… never mind,” she said before taking in a deep breath. “Send a message to one of the sleeping changelings in Ponyville and have the five mares of importance moved to the Crystal Empire via Vanhoover using the train I have stationed there for emergencies. Tell Twilight to fly to Canterlot. Alone. Nopony else is to come with her, especially Rainbow Dash! If she tries to follow, have the guards-changelings drag her into the traincar. Last thing I need is that little mare getting herself killed.”
Immediately dismissing the changeling, Celestia looked back to her two remaining guards as she came to the castle‘s balcony that observed the northern part of the city. Off in the distance, I could see the smoke from the volcano through her eyes, but everything else looked more or less serene. “Have the search parties managed to find Cadence and Shining Armor yet?”
Yet another white pegasus shook his head. “No word from them yet your highness. But we are following the track they left on, the troops should come in contact with them any time now.”
I felt the goddess grit her teeth and move onto the balcony at a fast pace before we both apparently caught something out of the corner of her eye that shouldn’t belong, and the panic in Celestia’s mind increased when she turned to see Sunset leaning up against the wall by the door with her arms crossed.
While I had gotten used to Smelling someone else’s fright, and even sensing Tia’s emotions when we dreamed, it was another thing entirely to feel the mother’s reaction to her daughter’s presence as if her body were my own. It almost felt like Celestia’s heart exploded when she caught sight of Sunset standing next to the door, and I felt Tia flight with everything she had to stay on her feet while forcing breath through her lungs.
The recovery was pretty quick too. And in an instant, terror became anger. “What the hay are you still doing here? I had a chariot prepared to take you to the Empire where it’s safe!” Tia demanded in a yell.
Sunset raised an eyebrow at the goddess for a moment, and then sighed. “Okay, ignoring the fact I’d probably freeze to death in the open air before we ever got to the damn Empire,” the girl replied. “There was only enough room for one pony, so I put Trixie on it and had them leave.”
Celestia glared back at her, although a little bit of confusion helped mitigate the anger I felt. “And they listened to you?” I could almost hear the ‘I’ll have their heads for this’ comment that I knew Tia would never make, but…if it was anyone else…
“I threatened them with my dark magic,” Sunset replied before she raised her hands and wiggled her fingers and shook her head. “Like I would ever use that kind of stuff again. Look, if it comes down to it, you can just ship me off later. Hell, I could even just jump on your back, and we can both get out of here if it comes down to it.” Her face became serious a moment later as she looked at the pony goddess. “I know you’re just covering your bases, but do not tell me to run and hide when you’ve probably got some plan to make everything better.”
Anger and fear for Sunset rolled over Celestia in waves, but she pushed it back down after a second of letting her body tremble with the emotions. “As a matter of fact, I don’t. Not a real one anyway.”
That seemed to knock Sunset for a loop, completely replacing a cocky frown with a shocked expression. “What? But when you were shoving me out the door, you were calling for the guards and-”
“Commandeering all the airships in the city to move the ponies too old and injured to get away on their own and sending for rain to soak a giant creature of molten rock as to slow him down a bit is hardly a plan, it’s making sure nopony gets hurt while I stall for time,” Tia replied with a frown.
Sunset winced. “So what can you do?” she asked. “I mean, that thing…you stopped it before right? When we saw it, you said it uh…broke free! Things don’t break free unless they’re imprisoned.”
“That was a long time ago,” Celestia replied before she moved past her daughter where a telescope was waiting. “Now, I need to find Shining Armor and Cadence. We can’t afford delays. Lavan isn’t completely mobile yet, which means I still have time to find Cadence and put an end to this before he even gets to Canterlot.”
As Celestia peered into the eyepiece, and got such a view of the mountain Lavan was struggling to remove himself from, Sunset made an annoyed sound that drew Celestia’s attention away from her search. “What? You can’t look and talk at the same time?” she demanded with a frown. “And just because this thing showed up a long time ago doesn’t mean what you used back then isn’t an option now! And for that matter, just what the hell is that thing?”
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Why would you need to know something like that?”
“Because if there’s a key element to defeating him in his back story, it would be nice to know it before it stomps down here and kills us all!” Sunset snapped with eyes full of fear. Apparently, her bitch defense reflexes were starting to kick in like they had during the Grogar incident. As weird as it was, I actually felt a little relieved at seeing Sunset being snappy. Sunset without her fire was just...not Sunset.
Tia took a moment to study her daughter, then I was treated to a nice view of Equestria’s newest rail line that went straight from Canterlot to the Crystal Empire as the goddess began her elaboration. “Shortly after Sombra took over the Crystal Empire, he sent a powerful demon into Equestria with the intention of destroying the largest collection of unicorns in the land and the center of magical knowledge, Canterlot. On to of which, the last of the crystal imperial line were hiding in this city after he forced them out. It could have been that Sombra summoned Lavan to deal with them before they could point out a critical flaw in the Empire’s defenses and give my sister and myself pause using a shock and awe campaign.”
As she talked, I became more focused on Celestia’s search than her words. The image displayed by her telescope was…freaky.
It wasn’t a kaleidoscope of colors or anything, but whenever Tia adjusted the zoom on the thing, trees, rocks, and whoever else was being zoomed in on just disappeared from her view to reveal what was behind it. Basically, he alicorn goddess had a telescope with infinite zoom, perfect clarity, and magical X-ray vision that would have made Superman envious. And despite everything that was going on, I couldn’t help but wonder if she ever checked in on me, and Twilight, and Dash when we were…together in that private kind of way.
“Yeah, yeah fine big monster sent by Sombra, figured that much out,” Sunset replied, which made Celestia look up at her in confusion at the lack of the girl’s surprise. “What? Yes, I know about Sombra! The Crystal Empire is a whole new country, I’ve been researching it in my spare time. Where you do think I got all those crystal enchantment ideas? Now that there’s actually enough to the stuff to go around, I started spitballing ideas. But do have anything you know…important? Like how you stopped it the first time?”
Celestia continued her search through the telescope. “None of the magic at our disposal could truly hurt the demon, what with his heart being so protected by his body. Any attempts to cool the creature using water were also ultimately fruitless, as the magic that keeps his form together also continuously keeping it hot enough for the magma to stay mobile.”
“Lava.”
Once again, Tia looked up from her telescope and back to Sunset. “What?”
“Magma is underground molten rock, lava is…you know what? Never mind,” Sunset replied with a shake of her head. “Now, how did you stop it?”
Celestia sighed and shook her head. “While powerful, Lavan wasn’t exactly the brightest creature. So it was easy to figure out his course of a straight line, and then create a trap capable of containing him long enough to get the crystal construct in place that would draw power from the monster and immobilize him,” she explained before looking back through her telescope. “Even then, he was almost able to escape from the pit Luna and I had managed to-”
“Wait…what did you just say?” Sunset spoke up.
Once again, the view I was getting from Celestia changed from areas full of panicked woodland critters to Sunset’s face as the goddess turned to address her daughter. “What?”
“A giant demon the size of a mountain, and you stopped him by…digging a hole in the ground?” Sunset deadpanned.
Celestia rolled her eyes. “It was a big hole, with illusion magic that made it look covered over,” she said before getting a little snappy herself. “The less complicated plans are, the less than can go wrong! We just needed it to hold Lavan long enough to place the rainbow crystal that formed the prison on what passed for his head! Without the ability to look up, our really big hole provided the perfect opportunity! By the time he clawed his way out, the demon only moved another step before he was fully encased in the crystal and we erected a mountain around him to hide him from sight. After Sombra was dealt with, and the Crystal Empire gone, the last of the crystal royalty changed the configuration on Lavan’s cage to use his magical power instead of just containing it by making it affect the weather around the mountain and keep ponies away. By draining away his magic in such a way, there was no possible way he could escape. It should have held him forever!”
“So that’s why nopony’s ever found another deposit of imperial crystal anywhere in-wait a second,” Sunset said as she changed the conversations direction mid-sentence. “You mean to tell me, ponies have been chipping away at that thing’s cage for hundreds of years? And you didn’t warn anypony about that? Didn’t you think something might go WRONG some day?”
Once again, Celestia looked away from her search to meet Sunset’s eyes while her own gaze became half-lidded. “Yes Daughter, I am a complete and total moron,” she replied before letting out a disgruntled sigh. “The crystals of the cage slowly regenerate over time, and they can only be harvested by ponies that walk up the mountain for a single season. The only possible way something like this could have happened is if the rainbow crystal that was the keystone to the whole enchantment was damaged! And that’s practically impossible! The only thing that could do that is alicorn magic, a mouthful of mystical weapons that I know the locations to, or a dragon’s teeth! And…” Ever so slowly, Celestia’s opened mouth went from shout-wide to a simply grumbling crack of an opening. “Oh buck.”
A second later, Celestia was back to looking through her telescope that could somehow just edit out objects by zooming close to them. “Why? Why did I let a dragon climb that bucking mountain?” she cursed while searching to the left and right of the train tracks.
“Okay um…then, why exactly are you looking for Cadence?” Sunset asked. “Unless she can make that thing fall in love with the ocean and want to give it a hug...uh, she can’t do that, can she? I mean, we didn’t have much time to talk the other night, but she said most of her magic revolves around useful babysitting tricks and-”
“I merely require Cadence’s presence at Canterlot,” Celestia told her. “With her and Twilight along with Luna…I have a plan that will allow us the opportunity to deal with this creature. And with Shining Armor’s magic added to that of the defensive spells, Canterlot should survive long enough for us to implement it.”
“Should?” Sunset asked in worry.
Celestia sighed through her gritted teeth. “Yes! Should!” she replied while she continued to search, her panic starting to build up again to overtake her irritation as she continued to talk. “The fact of the matter is, I’m not sure what this creature can do other than move around and crush everything it steps on in a fiery molten avalanche! That’s why I sent you away! That’s why I ordered the city evacuated! And now, I am having to deal with being terrified of you here in the line of fire while searching for my niece, who I should have been able to spot easily if she was flying back to Canterlot, or on her way to the Crystal Empire!”
With that, Celestia looked away from her search and glared at Sunset, her emotions a mess of panicked anger. “SO EXCUSE ME IF I’M JUST A LITTLE UNSETTLED BY THE THOUGHT OF MY FAMILY BEING HURT AGAIN!” Sunset visibly shook from the verbal assault, and I felt Celestia’s heart rip itself in two as she let out a gasp, then closed her teary eyes before she looked away. “I’m sorry, I didn’t…I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you,” she whispered.
“I…I’m worried too…Mom,” Sunset replied while Tia looked back up at her daughter while panting for breath. “I…if you want, I could look for you and you could…take a minute, or something.”
Tia gave a little nod. “Yes, I…I’ll go see if I can wake Luna up. She…yes.”
As Sunset moved forward, Tia took a few seconds more to collect herself. I felt the emotions in her mind get pushed to the back as the goddess slowed her breathing. A few seconds later, Celestia was back in control of herself and was moving towards the door.
“I found them.”
Shock, joy, disbelief, and even a bit of annoyance ran through Celestia’s mind as she spun away from the balcony entrance to look at Sunset. “What? Already? How did you-”
Sunset looked up from the telescope. “Well, after factoring in the train’s speed to give me a general search area based on the scheduled departure time, I followed the tracks like I’m betting you did…until I figured that Cadence could have held up the thing because she’s a princess and looked up and down for wrecking before wondering if-”
“Sunset,” Celestia warned the girl.
“The train went over a bridge, Cadence and Shining Armor are on the northern bank of the Shimmering River,” she quickly said before her expression became a little pained. “From the looks of things. I think Cadence hurt a wing.”
With Sunset’s instruction to Celestia, my ability to teleport, and extra set of eyes, it didn’t take too long to locate the married couple. I didn’t see any pegasi around, making the first one on the scene. There was even better news in the fact that Lavan was still stuck in his half-broken cage, clawing away at the rocks that concealed the crystal that kept him in place.
But that seemed to be about all that was going my way at the moment. Cadence and Shining Armor were laying by the river, and I winced when I saw the pink pony’s wing bent at an unnatural angle. Her Scent was worse. She Smelled full of fright and depression. She was horrified, but knowing Cadence, I really doubted that it was the condition of her wing she was so upset about.
“Shining, Cadence!” Spike called out as we landed and he stopped trying to dig his free claw into the folds of my chitin before he jumped down to run over to where the ponies were with his shiny crystal tucked under his arm.
A bit of startlement passed through Cadence’s Scent as she looked up. “Spike? W-What’re you doing here?” she asked before her attention turned to me. “What’s going on? What is that thing?”
I opened my mouth to explain, but Spike beat me to it. “I don’t know! One second we were at Crystal Peak getting something for Twilight’s birthday present, and the next there was this big earthquake, and then that thing just broke the top of the mountain!”
Cadence and Shining shared a worried look, and then the princess turned her attention back to the dragon that was panting heavily and possibly in the early stages of a panic attack. “Well it’s a good thing you found us then, isn’t it Spike?” the Goddess of Love said before she looked down even more. “What is that? Something special for Twilight?”
Spike blinked at the question, and I watched before he looked down at the crystal in his grip. “Oh yeah, it’s something I found on the mountain. It was part of this big crystal I saw when I melted some snow, and when the light shine through it, it made this cool rainbow on the ground!”
Right as I was about to yell at Cadence we really didn’t have time for this shit, I felt a yank on my horsey hair and looked over to see Shining Armor was motioning for me to come over while the princess distracted the boy. After I did, he gave me an even look. “What’s going on?”
“The usual,” I replied without any humor. “Some pony accidentally set a big bad lose on Equestria, and now we have to take care of it. And, where’s the rest of your guys? I know Cadence has a private train and all, but shouldn’t there be some ponies with you?”
Shining Armor visibly stiffened and averted his eyes from my questioning gaze, but not his head. “Cadence was hurt and…crystal ponies can’t swim.”
Okay, that may have gotten to me a bit. Especially if Cadence was feeling the loss.
The worst part of it was, I didn’t really know who to be angry at for all this. Me for agreeing to go with Spike, the dragon for messing with the one fucking crystal that mattered on that moutian, Tia not for putting up a ‘DO NOT TOUCH’ warning sign that lasted as long as the junk in her abandoned castle, Equestria in general for the chances of Spike doing what he did while surrounded by a forest of crystal that just screamed Equestrian Coincidence, or…well, of course I blamed the demon, but he was going to be banished back to the abyss that spawned him. What I wanted to know was, who needed the finger pointed at them after that was done with?
Yeah, ponies would shrug and move on, but I was a human deep down. The blame game was the national pastime of my whole species. Screw baseball.
I shook my head to clear it while the proverbial jury looked at me being the adult at the scene that took his eyes off the child, Spike for destroying the crystal, and Tia for not using the alicorn-sized Pinkie Sense she might or might not have had to warn us about messing with the magical prism. “Look, Celestia has a plan to take care of this thing that involves getting Cadence to Canterlot along with Twilight.”
Shining nodded and opened his mouth…
“GRAAAAAAH!”
…and that’s when the rumbling started on top of the rather loud shout that I could hear from over a mile away. Whereas the stuff I had experienced on the ground while Connected to Tia had been a little jarring, the movement that preceded whatever Shining was going to say made me feel like I was in one of those snow globes that little kids loved to shake around.
Having never been in a major earthquake before, I was glad for the extra pair of legs to keep me upright, as well as the wings that let me just avoid the thing entirely a few seconds later once I got some magic into them. Dear God did I love flying.
The others didn’t fare so well. While the clear area around us meant we weren’t in danger of anything more than some sloshing water from the river that was more than far enough away that the ground-bound members of the party weren’t in danger of falling in, it didn’t mean that all of us got out without problems. Cadence was inured after all.
The broken wing was what drew everyone’s attention, but I also realized that a pegasus didn’t get that banged up without suffering some other form of injury in a confined place like a train. She had to at least be sporting some bruised ribs.
And being jostled around in an earthquake caused by the monster of the week probably wasn’t doing her any favors.
I wanted to move in and grab her, but I had heard much too often from Twilight and Rainbow my changeling TK wasn’t anywhere near as gentle as a real pony’s. Hell, I think it gave Rainbow an aversion to being held by magic in general, or at least turn what was already a distaste for the whole thing into a full-on dislike.
So, no. Magical bear-hug wasn’t an option. And of course in the few seconds it took my brain to just swoop down and pick her up with those hoof things I hardly ever used anymore outside of sex anymore, a magical glow surrounded Cadence and lifted her up. Considering his own situation, I was impressed with Shining’s ability to concentrate even that much.
A minute later, and the whole thing was more or less over. The major shakeup passed, and it was more or less over, except for some relatively minor aftershocks that followed at irregular intervals. Once Cadence was down and I saw clearly that she was still breathing, I turned around and let out a sigh when I saw the giant humanoid monster of lava slowly moving away from the empty remains of the mountain that had collapsed in on itself with its prisoner gone.
“Okay so…about Celestia‘s plan, I don’t think we’ll be able to move Cadence,” Shining told me after I heard a little bit of chatter between him and Cadence to check on her injuries. “Unless you can teleport us to Canterlot.”
On the teleporting thing, I probably could, but…my ability to negate time and space without moving was harsh enough on my passengers under normal conditions. I didn’t want to know what it would do to Cadence while hurt. Plus, I had less pretty pink pony princess reasons of why not to go to Canterlot. “Well I can but…there’s a problem with whatever it is Celestia’s planning,” I told Shining.
For a second, I was afraid Shining was going to tell me to just get them all to Canterlot despite any of my misgivings. I mean, I was second guessing Celestia here. But instead of just telling me to shut up and do my job, he looked over to Cadence for a fraction of a second, and back to me. “What do you mean?”
I blinked in surprise at that, and gulped down my doubts. “Look, I don’t exactly know what Tia’s planning, but…it apparently involves letting Lavan get within striking distance of Canterlot and protecting the city with a magic shield while she and the other princesses counterattack in some way,” I answered before pausing a few seconds for dramatic effect. “And that’s how she’s going to get every pony killed.”
“What makes you say that?” Shining demanded with a little bit of a frown. At last came the anger at my assessment of Tia’s tactical intelligence in the real world.
I pointed a hoof at the departing titan. “Shining, look at the size of that thing!” I told him. “Canterlot teeters over the edge of a cliff. Lavan doesn’t need to attack the city, he just needs to walk up to the damn mountain and the earthquakes he’s causing will either bury the city in an avalanche, or just cause Canterlot to fall to the ground before he even takes a swing!”
The frowned deepened, and I found myself hoping that he’d counter my argument with something about how the supports of Canterlot were magically reinforced and would never crumble. But then he let me down like so many others by letting out a deflating sigh. “If that’s the case, what’re we supposed to do?”
That, I only had a bit of an answer to.
Half of an answer really, but even that hinged on what the unicorn’s magic could do.
“Depends. Can your magic shields be made air tight and hold up to being drenched in lava? Like, completely surrounded for several minutes?”
Shining nodded. “For a few minutes, maybe. I’d have to mitigate the heat as well of course,” he mumbled. “Why?”
So, I told him my super special genius plan for saving Equestria.
By the time I was done, Shining was nodding to himself. “That…might work,” he admitted reluctantly before he looked over to where the other two members of the party were for a moment. “But I wouldn’t be able to reinforce the shield once it got out of range. And there’s the problem of an air supply. I don’t know of any spells that could allow somepony to breathe without any oxygen.”
“Um, I may have one.”
We both turned to look at the down alicorn as Cadence readjusted herself into a sitting position with a slight wince. “It’s not exactly a spell that allows a pony to breathe without any air. But, it will cleanse the air in an area and recycle it.”
Shining raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t know you knew any spells like that,” he said before a smirk appeared on his face. “Most of the stuff you know revolves around foal sitting.”
“Well…” Cadence said before she coughed and looked away. “It’s actually to help with the smell from changing dirty diapers. But, it’s pretty much the same effect you want with how it adds fresh air to an area on top of the pine tree scent. And it’s not like we have that many other options!”
Next to the alicorn, our party’s dragon nervously messed with the crystal he’d snagged that started this whole mess. “It’s the pretty much part that’s got me worried.”
I looked down at Spike. “Well, we could always got to Canterlot, hope that the city holds of and hundreds of ponies don’t get killed right when the monster walks up to the city. And that’s not even taking into account what may happen to every pony when the real fight starts.”
“Okay okay I get it!” Spike shouted before he dropped the swag and ran over to climb on my back. “Let’s just…get this over with.”
One good thing about fighting giant monsters that I was relatively the size of a fly in comparison to, and probably the only good thing about such a situation, was that the monsters didn’t tend to give much of a damn about the little mosquitoes that flew around them. So after the royal guards showed up with a chariot for Cadence, I took off towards the hulking pile of steaming hot rock and flew up behind him as close as I dared.
Below me, I winced at the damage the monster was leaving behind. While there weren’t any heavy forests between what had been the Crystal Mountain and Canterlot, every step Lavan made left a crater devoid of any life and a ring of fire spreading outward from it. If the plant life of Equestria really did need earth ponies just to grow, then the grass farmers were going to be working overtime to clean up the mess left by the demon.
“Remember, without any magic, the lava is going to just fall apart and wash every which way before cooling,” I told my passenger. “You need to have your head above the lava before it cools, or at least as close to the surface as you can get. But since this stuff isn’t water, you should have plenty of time to get out. Just go up, and you should be fine.”
“You know, all those shoulds are really making me nervous,” Spike replied while he held tight to my armor.
I shook my head and looked back at the package when his grip on me wobbled thanks to the movement. “That’s how you know you’re on an adventure!” I told him before I climbed in altitude and flew over Lavan’s headless torso.
“Well I’m really starting to hate adventures!” he yelled back at me. “I wanna go home! I wanna read comics and sleep late in my basket! I wanna-”
“AND YOU MIGHT WANT TO HOLD ON!” I shouted to him before diving.
Admittedly, I took a little bit of guilty comfort in the fact that he was actually feeling threatened about what was happening. Hopefully the next time something bad happened, Spike would just stay home where it was safe. Little punk that needed to be put over someone’s knee or not, he really didn’t deserve to be dragged into danger by Twilight; or allowed to go into it at least.
The idea to dive didn’t turn out to be my best idea. I didn’t know how good Lavan’s hearing was, but with me being about the size of a wasp or something in comparison, it probably wasn’t a good idea me and Spike were conversing so near his face as loudly as we could.
This was mostly due to the fact that as soon as I flew over the monster, I caught sight of his coming up to try and grab me from below, like when a person hears a fly buzzing around above them and tries to shoo them away. Only this thing’s fiery hand would probably incinerate me, if not cook me from the inside out instead of bat me away.
My armor may have been reinforced by the magic of the alicorn amulet back in the day and still as hard as ever, but no changeling had ever tested if our trademark protection included heat shielding. I sure as hell wasn’t about to be the first either.
Thankfully, I was paying attention and Equestria still had to respond to the basic law of physics that said big equals slow. So after a few juking moves that got me through fingers that dripped lava and made me so very thankful for all the flight practice I recovered from Rainbow that I was so going to thank her in the most special way I possibly could, I dived down and stopped right in front of Lavan’s face.
And with his other hand still kind of at his side, I had plenty of time for a heroic quip as I raised Spike over my head. “Hey Lavan, suck on this!” I yelled before ramming my purple lizard into the monster’s mouth.
Then, free of my shielded cargo that kept me from using my OP movement abilities, I teleported free and clear of the monster to wait for Spike to do his thing and munch on whatever was holding the monster together.
As I soared above the lava demon while waiting for something to happen, I had to admit that despite his size, Lavan had to be the easiest fight I had gotten into since coming to Equestria. Probably because it was a team effort on the part of Cadence, Shining, the whiney lizard, and myself.
It made me feel…creeped out really. I could almost see Celestia telling me how it would make a good entry about teamwork that needed to be put into the Journal of Friendship or something. Togetherness and sunshine will always triumph over… I stopped that line of thought, unable to really come up with anything girly enough despite what my gender had been for the better part of my life in Equestria.
The truth was, the situation just had a niche where everyone fit into easier than the others. I mean, sure, I could have carried Shining with me and the two of us could have entered Lavan’s body while under his protection, but our chances of doing anything other than that when the shield came down to destroy the monster’s anchor weren’t very good.
But Spike, with his natural resistance to lava, he could enter the demon’s body without being harmed. Of course there was a big difference between being able to swim in lava and breathing it, which Cadence’s spell solved. Meanwhile, Shining Armor provided a magical protection bubble around the kid’s head to hold the air in and programmed the thing to dissipate upon being touched by dragon fire.
All I had to do was drop him in the creature at the maximum possible penetration. We did have to get rid of the thing before it got to Canterlot after all. So the mouth was the obvious choice.
From what I had seen of Lavan’s body, the lava comprising it was still fluid, it just flowed around him like some kind of weird circulatory system. Once Spike was inside, all he needed to do was swim with the current until he caught up to whatever was providing the anchorage that kept Lavan in Equestria. If the object’s location wasn’t static, then he just needed to swim around until he found it. Something the couple’s magic would allow him to do.
After teleporting away from the monster, I only had to wait ten minutes before Lavan lurched a little, and let out the cliché death cry before he sort of melted.
“And time for the extraction,” I mumbled to myself.
With my ears still ringing from his voice, I flew down to where the liquid rock was just hitting the ground with a splat and took a whiff when it was more of an expanding pile of cooling lava than a monster. Despite the fact that my psychic senses functioned kind of like a nose, it didn’t really detect physical particles, and it wasn’t stopped by physical barriers. Plus, in my changeling form, I could detect the emotions of all creatures.
So it was pretty easy for me to catch the Scent of a worried dragon that was close to the top of the cooling magma before Spike popped his head up amidst the flowing stuff that was starting to become more of an oozing movement than anything else. I grabbed him in my magic to pull him out. Then I frowned when I felt as if someone was pulling from the opposite direction, and put more power into my tugging before Spike rose from the mud puddle of fire.
What came with him was a bit of a surprise though. The little dragon was hugging the arm of little a fat crystal statue that glowed with a dim, multi-hued light and vaguely resembled Lavan’s burning man form, at about twice Spike’s size. Judging by the bite marks on the left arm and the missing left hand, I had a pretty good idea what had happened when Spike found it.
Considering its size, I was a little surprised that he was able to hold onto the glittering rock before I wrapped it up in my magic as well. However, the makeup of the thing did answer a question of how it survived inside lava. Magic crystals were practically indestructible after all.
Once I had gotten the object and the dragon on even level with me, I let out a sigh as the little purple lizard continued to hang onto the crystal statue for dear life. “Okay Spike, it’s over, you can open your eyes now.”
The dry tone of my voice was enough to get the dragon to look around. “Is it over, did I save Canterlot?”
That made me frown. After what happened in the Crystal Empire, there was no way in hell that I was going to let the dragon boost his ego with undeserved praise.
“No,” I said evenly, which got Spike’s attention and jacked up his fright quite a bit.
But then I gave him a little smile full of my changeling fangs. “You, me, Shining, and Cadence saved Canterlot,” I told him. “And you performed your part rather…adequately.” Which he did, I guess.
“Oh uh…that’s good,” Spike said, still clinging to the statue and obviously shaken up by the whole thing. “Can we go home now? I think…I think I’ve had enough adventuring for today.”
Of course with everything over and done with, that was when the cavalry finally arrived in a burst of purple magic with a worried look on her nerdy little face.
The most annoying part about dealing with magical kaiju was cleaning up the mess they left behind. Which thankfully, wasn’t really my job.
Still, I managed to stick around long enough for Celestia to bring Shining Armor and several other unicorns that put up magical shields to help contain what was left of Lavan while it cooled off with the help of rain from Cloudsdale.
After that, Tia had me put my alicorn makeup back on and send an all clear message to the changelings living in the cities where the evacuees were being transported to, where they were still waiting to be received. Not even Canterlot had been fully cleared out of ponies in the time it took Lavan to go down.
Then it came time for the long explanation of just what the hell I thought I was doing putting myself at risk like that, all the while Smelling the mix of worry, pride, anger, and love radiating off two of the alicorns. Luna just Smelled annoyed she had missed the action yet again, while Cadence was happy to get her wing healed by Celestia. As for me, I just wondered where the hell Discord had been. If there was any time he was supposed to use his magic for good, the giant lava monster threatening to crush Canterlot that could be seen from half an Equestria away would have been it.
Of course there was also the bad news that it seemed my coronation would have to be put off for a day. I was so heart broken I only managed to dance on my hind legs for a good minute before Twilight smacked me upside the head.
But after everything from cleanup to ordering all the evacuees back into town was arranged, Celestia was getting ready to set the sun when she called me and Twilight out onto the balcony where she was looking at the sky.
Luna was there too of course, still Reeking of annoyance as she glared at the mass of cooled rock that had been Lavan. From what I heard during earlier meetings, she was taking charge of dismantling the demon’s statue via target practice later tonight.
“Was there something you wanted to talk to me about Twilight?” Celestia asked after we all exchanged greetings. Despite the day’s events, she looked as immaculate as ever of course. Which meant I had a hard time shoving my sexual fantasies that involved me and the egghead playing with the alicorn’s body.
Being put in life and death situation really did make people want to get laid after all it seemed.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Twilight lick her lips nervously. “Have my friends made it to the Crystal Empire yet?”
Celestia didn’t even look at her telescope, meaning she had already checked on it herself for whatever reason, possibly even anticipating Twilight’s question. “The train I had stationed at Ponyville for the…personal use of your friends is the fastest in Equestria. They arrived in the lands of the Crystal Empire only a few moments ago.”
“In other words, you made sure the five of them can be shuttled off to safety as fast as possible,” I surmised with a little smile while being colored extremely impressed. It usually took a day to get to the Crystal Empire by normal train, and only marginally less to come down using the crystal one Cadence road around it. For the girls to have gotten there in an afternoon, Tia must have put some major magic on what was hauling the girls around.
The goddess gave me an even look. “Since they no longer wield the Elements, our friends need no longer be burdened with the safety of Equestria,” she said before her expression softened. “Even though they would rush to Twilight’s aid at a moments notice.”
Twilight closed her eyes for a second, and nodded. “Thank you Prin-Celestia.”
“Does the status of our friends worry you Twilight Sparkle?” Luna asked.
A nervous cough from Twilight and the uncomfortable Smell coming off of her got a curious frown out of me, but I didn’t need to coax her to respond. “Well, it’s about Rainbow Dash…”
“Yes,” Celestia sighed. “I understand the two of you were arguing about something before you left Ponyville.”
Twilight shook her head fiercely. “No it’s not…I saw the bags under her eyes and she had a shorter temper than normal, so it was pretty obvious she didn’t get much sleep last night and…” the littlest goddess stopped talking as she looked at Luna with wide eyes. “Luna is…is there something bothering Rainbow?”
For a second, Luna took on a hesitant posture and looked around at the three of us. Even Tia turned her attention onto her little sister. “It is not something that won’t clear itself up tonight if the two of you join her in bed,” she finally said. “Allow me to transport the two of you to the Empire myself once the day has been replaced with night.”
I held up a hoof. “Wait a minute.”
“I can not. The day and night are on a strict schedule,” Luna told me. “And this will only take a moment.”
After resisting the urge to groan, I stepped back and waited for the sisters to do their job like the pharaohs of old. Except for the fact that they really did mess with the sun and moon while the pharaohs just stepped outside at sunrise, sunset, and during an eclipse to look good.
Not that any of them could have held a candle to Tia…if they had been ponies I mean. A thought that entered my mind as I found myself staring at the goddess’s ass instead of the terrifying sight of the sun going down at a speed faster than a crashing plane. It was a much better view, not to mention all of the ideas it put in my head were better than wondering why the planet Equestria was on hadn’t just spun out of control or turned so fast that gravity lost its hold on us to send every living creature on the planet careening off into space.
Like the fact if I was just a little bit shorter, I could walk right up under Tia’s tail and…well, do some things that probably wouldn’t have left her standing for very long. Which made me feel guilty, inadequate, and hot and a bunch of other things all at the same time. I mean, this whole thing started by me feeding off Tia and accidentally waking up her libido. If I had never done that, it was a pretty good bet that she would have never wanted anything beyond the just friends stuff we had going in dreamland, and…
I looked over when I felt Twilight’s wing press across my back. “Is something wrong?”
“You’re rather tense,” Celestia added right on top of Twilight.
The biggest problem for males when it came to polygamy was that when you were getting involved with more than one woman, more than one woman had the right to butt into your business. “Just um…worried…about Rainbow Dash,” I lied.
Twilight nodded. “Yeah…me too,” she agreed before her head drooped ever so slightly.
A tiny groan made my ears perk up, and the three of us looked over to Luna. “Well, I usually refrain from doing this, but if all three of you are going to be so worried about it, then-oh please sister, I can see your wings twitching,” the medium goddess said as Celestia gave her a sharp look. “If you must know, there are two things that are bothering her. Both of them connected, and…pardon me for saying so, rather foolish.”
It may have been Luna, but I didn’t like anyone saying something that bothered any of the girls was foolish, stupid, childish, or anything of the sort. Yeah, it was Lesson Zero, but anything that made my pony worry was something I took very seriously. So I frowned at her. “Just spit it out already.”
“The first isn’t anything she acknowledges on a conscious level yet. But because of it, Rainbow Dash’s body has grown used to the presence of others around her to the point where her sleep is troubled without a warm pony to latch onto,” Luna told us.
For some reason, I caught Tia’s worry going up a bit, although Twilight Smelled just about as confused as me.
“As for the other problem, Rainbow is afraid of what others will think of her once they learn she enjoys the feeling of coupling with the two of you,” she went on. “With my Sister soon to be added to the…group.”
That one actually did make me want to laugh. “Wait…you mean Rainbow’s afraid of what other ponies will say when they find out she’s having sex with us?” That didn’t make any sense! Most of the town already knew the three of us were sleeping together, and Rainbow was fucking proud of it! Hell, she was probably only going to get an even bigger ego boost by the fact a third princess wanted to get her in bed.
I could already hear the “it takes three princesses to handle this pegasus” in my head for crying out loud!
Luna’s face became a little scrunched up, and she cocked her head in confusion. “What? No!” she said before a little blush appeared on her face before she shook it off. “And please refrain from mentioning such things in my hearing! You’re the future consorts of my sister for pony’s sake!”
“I prefer the term wives,” Celestia told her sister in a dry tone. Then she looked at me and smiled. “Well, wives and husband.”
I preferred for the pony gods not to talk about the possibility of my future relationship like it was some unavoidable fate. Oh God, if Tia was already planning the wedding...I didn’t know what I would do.
As for my girlfriend, I felt Twilight tense just a little bit at the news, and her Scent became much more blissful as I felt her heart rate increase.
“And I was not speaking of…that!” Luna exclaimed. “I was referring to the fact Rainbow Dash apparently believes taking pleasure in laying close to her loved ones is…to use the modern vernacular, uncool.”
While I managed to just raise my eyebrow at the news, Twilight put on a frown and get out some words. “Wait, you’re saying Rainbow is embarrassed about being a…cuddle bug?”
Okay, I had to admit, that might have been a little silly. From being with Twilight, I had thought that all ponies were grabby in the bed. Hell, since sort of becoming a pony, even I was grabby in bed! Twilight was all soft, and warm, and fuzzy, and she smelled nice, not to mention her other Smell after sex was just fucking intoxicating. Once I had my pony-arms around her, I was holding on all night.
The fact Rainbow thought it was a bad thing she liked it really was silly.
Although the fact that it troubled her wasn’t.
“So…talk to her tonight beautiful?” I asked the pretty purple pony princess.
Twilight looked over to me, and looked up in thought for a second before answering. “Sex first. We’ll wear her out first so she’s too tired to argue or run away.”
It was a good plan, so I nodded in agreement as I felt Twilight’s tail flick my leg. Although not completely in the know of pony body language, she had been sure to teach the one one that shouted ‘let’s go fuck’. So of course I had to be polite and tail slap her back to scream ‘oh God yes I need you so much right now’.
Luna groaned and slumped a little. “I’m still here you know,” she deadpanned before her eyes flickered over to Celestia for a moment. “And if the three of you decide to start rutting each other here on the balcony, at least permit me time to remove myself from the area.”
“LUNA!” Celestia shouted as she whirled on her sister with a frown.
“Sister please, your tail is lifting,” Luna pointed out as she raised a hoof towards Tia’s backside.
I didn’t really see any difference, but Celestia froze for a fraction of a second before she looked back at her ethereal body part and made the slightest of adjustments.
Twilight stared at the goddess openly. “P-Princess, you want to-I mean, Celes-Tia…uh…” Despite all the blushing, I Smelled her lust skyrocket as her eyes went to Tia’s rear, Twilight’s lips parted ever so lightly as she licked her lips.
A roll of the goddess’s eyes preceded her response. “Well of course I do Twilight, I am an alicorn after all,” she said before taking a deep breath and letting it out. The lust I was Smelling from her however didn't do down very much. “But we agreed to wait, and at the moment Rainbow Dash needs the two of you more than I do. So go and get her.”
At that point, it seemed Equestria itself decided to end the conversation by the arrival of three more creatures that Animal Planet assured me couldn’t talk: two ponies and a purple iguana. Spike was riding on Shining’s back, and Cadence looked as if she had never been injured.
“Auntie Luna, I thought you were supposed to be meeting us in the throne room?” Cadence asked.
Luna took in a deep breath to let out a sigh of her own before she looked around at the new arrivals, plus me and the cute little nerd was was playing tailzies with. “Very well then, let’s get this over with. I shall return shortly sister,” the Goddess of the Night announced.
Although I hadn’t been expecting the crystal couple, it made sense that they’d also be hitching a ride. It was their empire after all. But it did make me wonder why Luna was the one moving ponies around and not Cadence or Twilight. She and Celestia were more powerful than the average alicorn, but considering Luna was the one running Equestria after dark, it would have made more sense for Celestia to manage the shipping.
I was wondering if it had something to do with the fact the moon was in the air at the moment, and then the feeling of standing on nothing overtook me before the temperature changed from a late Summer to mid-Spring while I found myself standing on an empty train platform.
“Alright, you guys made it just in time!” the familiar voice of a blue pegasus rang in my ears before I looked back to see the five familiar mares standing with their luggage. Apparently, the princess hadn’t been kidding with her moments ago comment. The girls would have gotten inside the crystal climate right as me and Twilight came onto the balcony to talk to Tia. “Hey Spike, get the bags would ya?”
A second later, most of the luggage was in a pile, although Applejack simply rolled her eyes as Rainbow’s suggestion and kept her saddlebags. Spike didn’t seem to mind though, and jumped off of the purple alicorn to run over to where the pile was.
For some reason, the whole thing kind of just struck me as wrong. But then, maybe I was just too used to having insect slaves instead of reptilian ones.
“So, is everything ready for the coronation tomorrow?” Fluttershy spoke up.
Rarity’s face got a little frown. “Aside from somepony’s dress that still needs its final alterations she means,” Rarity said while shooting me a dirty look that made me cower behind Luna just a little bit.
The goddess was quick to my rescue however. “Yes well, there were some…complications in Canterlot that are forcing us to postpone the event for a day so the…Equestrian nobility can attend,” Luna grumbled at the end. “A term I use rather loosely these days.”
That got everyone’s attention, and soon enough, Rainbow was giving Twilight a measuring look, while Rarity was moving her head back and forth between Shining and Cadence. “Complications?” she asked.
Rainbow zoomed over to get right in Twilight’s face. “You okay?”
I stuck my head out from behind Luna and sighed. “Just another leftover Sombra demon attack. It was nothing too big, Cadence got her wing kind of banged up, but we’re all fine now.”
Of course, that was the exact wrong thing to say in front of a drama queen like Rarity. “WHAT?” she shouted before rushing over to examine the alicorn. “Are you okay? Is she okay? Fluttershy, you know about wings, is she okay?”
As Rarity finished asking Cadence, Shining, and Fluttershy in a panic, the alicorn spread her wings as far as they would go in a display stance like a peacock. “I’m fine Rarity, see?”
I tried my best not to notice just how fucking hot Cadence looked standing there in all her alicorn glory with her wings spread like that. I may have not known how ponies viewed such an action even with Twilight and Celestia’s help, but I got the weird mental image of a human Cadence tearing a buttoned up shirt in half to show Rarity her boobs thanks to a stupid blending of human and pony body language.
Admittedly, I had thought about asking Celestia to explain thing to me in detail while we were asleep to try and repeat what happened with the pony attractiveness information but…I was already creeped out enough by men giving me little smiles and looks in Ponyville. I didn’t need to know if what I saw as looks were really the equivalent of a crotch thrust, or just how many women had also been sending me signals.
So I just turned my attention to the couple of girls I cared about most.
“What about you?” Rainbow asked Twilight in a worried tone.
Twilight sighed dejectedly and shook her head. “By the time I got to Canterlot, talked to Princess Luna, found Princess Celestia, and got my turn looking through the telescope, everything was over,” she said before she gave Rainbow a hesitant look. “I um…Rainbow, I think we need to work on my flying speed.”
All in all, I didn’t know how good of an idea that was. Rainbow was a pretty encouraging trainer with next to nothing in the negativity department, but having your coach be your girlfriend when it came to pushing yourself just didn’t seem to be a very bright move.
Then there was that little part of me that was so furiously protective of Rainbow Dash that it had to wonder what would happen if Twilight’s alicorn-ness actually made her faster than the pegasus whose pride was wrapped around her speed. I really didn’t want to know what would happen if something like that was the case.
But it didn’t even seem to concern Rainbow, or maybe just didn’t consider it a possibility, because she just snatched Twilight up in her forelegs. “Awesome!” the pegasus practically shouted in Twilight’s ear before she bent forward to kiss the alicorn on the lips and smiled at her afterwards.
The sight kind of crushed my overly-protective worries. Even if Twilight managed to outpace Dash, and that was a big IF, it wouldn’t destroy our relationship or anything. Cause a bump or two, but nothing more.
Everything was going to be just fine.
“I’ve been getting a little bored with all that training anyway and-” There was a dull think as something heavy fell onto the platform, cutting Rainbow Dash off before a high-pitched scream cut the air and drew my attention as well as that of several others.
“AAAAAAAAH!”
Then I heard the sound of lips detaching a lot closer to the ground than Twi and Dash were, and looked over where Rarity and Shining had just finished a kiss while in the grips of a tri-hug with Cadence.
While Rarity got a little nervous and drew in on herself just a smidge, Cadence raised an eyebrow and kept moving her head back and forth between the two. As for Shining, he just cocked his head a little bit the way ponies do when they’re confused and asked the obvious answer question while looking at the purple dragon. “Hey Spike, something wrong?”