Two Ponies, One Boat.
Written By:
TheRealShadowFoot and EndlessKnight980
Shift’s Creator: Endlessknight980
Nocturne’s Creator: TheRealShadowFoot
Shared on FimFiction.
++++ Chapter 1: Ocean Hangover ++++
Owww...my brain...” Shift said, rubbing the side of his head. There was a bright light blinding him, and squinting, he realized it was the Sun. He closed his eyes and continued trying to massage his brain. Everything in his head was blurry. A drunken, apple-scented blur.
“What have I done?” he thought. He remembered going to the party last night, and He cracked a smile. “That’s right… the cider drinking contest...I wonder who won?” As Shift sat upright, his vision swam and he raised a hoof up above his eyes to block the sunlight. “I wonder where I ended up this time.” He said, thinking back to his many misadventures.
Everything around was a fuzzy blue, and there was something white standing in front of him. It was small, and when his eyes finally decided to focus, it was a Seagull. It screeched at him and flew off. Shift laughed at the bird, then it sank in. Looking around, he almost didn’t understand what he saw.
“Oh, Sweet butter biscuits.” He said, looking around again. There was nothing but water. “This is just a bad dream, right?” He said, shaking his head. “A bad dream, that’s it. I drank some bad Cider and now I’m having this dream.” He said, trying to convince himself, and failing.
“I’ll just lay back down...go to sleep and wake back up in my house in Ponyville.” He closed his eyes and counted to ten. He opened one and looked around. He was still in a boat in the middle of the ocean. He closed his eyes.
“Yep, I’ll be home in no time.” He said thinking about his house on the main street of Ponyville. He opened his eyes and jumped up. “Hello Ponyville, I’m home.” He said looking around. Nothing had changed. “This isn’t a dream.” He said. The panic didn’t set in immediately…he stood there and took it all in, and then panicked.
“Oh no, I’m in real trouble!” he yelled, screaming and jumping around the boat.
***
Nocturne was sound asleep, dreaming about the fellow earth pony that smelled of apples and drank him under the table last night.
“Damn her…told me she couldn’t hold her cider…” He remembered getting halfway through his last tankard of cider, then falling off his stool and...Nothing. Any other thoughts were banished by a searing pain coming from his rump region. Nocturne jolted awake, ready to hurt whatever was literally on his tail.
“OW! Hey!”
Shift stopped moving, and slowly turned and looked behind him. Lying on the bottom of the small rowboat was an Earth pony, Midnight Blue, with emerald eyes and a lime green mane.
“Hey! You’re on my tail!” The pony said, pulling it out from under Shift’s hoof. Shift stood there, speechless. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t even know who this was. But that didn’t bother him. The fact that he was now stuck in the middle of the ocean with this Earth pony was now the only thing on his mind.
***
“Helloooooo? I asked your name?” the Earth pony waved a hoof in front of Shift’s muzzle. Shift shook his head and sat down.
“I’m Shift.” Said the Golden-brown unicorn, running a hoof nervously through his red mane.
“Hi, Shift. I’m Nocturne” He said, sitting down and putting a hoof out. The pony named Shift took Nocturne’s hoof, which, Nocturne realized, was shaking. “You ok, pal? You look like you saw a ghost.” Nocturne released the other’s hoof.
“Well, other than being stranded with a pony I don’t know, in a boat in the middle of nowhere, I’m ok.” Shift said, regaining his vocabulary and losing his patience. Somehow, he wanted to blame the friendly Earth pony for this, but couldn’t.
“Well, now you know me. That’s something, right?” Nocturne told the stupefied and grumpy unicorn before him.
“Real funny…” Shift grunted at him, who looked like he was trying to burn holes in the rowboat…and might actually do so if Nocturne let him stare at the planks below him much longer. Nocturne knew very little about unicorns, but he did know that their magic worked in funny ways.
“So, Shift, any idea how we got here?” Nocturne asked, trying for a lighthearted tone.
“Not a damned clue. All I remember is Cider, and cheering, and then, waking up in this boat, with you.” Shift was not a morning pony, and his situation didn’t help matters.
“Funny, so do I. And that one earth pony with the blonde mane, who drank me under the table.”
“Nocturne, do you know anything about boats, navigation, anything?” All this talking was making Shift’s head hurt.
“Not really, no. I mean, I used to go fishing on a boat once in a while, but never paid attention to much else.”
Shift shook his head again.
“And so, we have no map, no compass, and only the sunlight to go by for any idea of what time it is.”
“That seems to be the short of it.” Nocturne agreed.
“We’re doomed.” Shift said, flopping onto his back and making the tiny boat lurch violently.
“Uh oh.” Nocturne voided what was left in his twisted stomach into the briny deep, and there it floated. Fat chunks of celery, pretzels, and a strong scent of rancid cider.
“Shift, never do that again.” Nocturne demanded. While he was sober, Nocturne had a nice, strong stomach. Not so much when he was hung over and nearly empty of anything substantial.
“No map, no compass, no flares, no nets, nothing at all to make this trip bearable at all.” Shift said, kicking his hooves comically.
“Well.” Nocturne said, stifling another retch, “We should focus on what we do have.”
Nocturne looked around appraisingly.
“Basic tackle box, old bait cans, a single fishing rod, a dull knife, a few feet of frayed rope, and some wet matches. Also, we’ve got a bucket, a small used first aid kit and a couple empty glass bottles. Not exactly A+ survival gear, but better than nothing.” Nocturne said. At least there were two paddles. If they could find a spot of land, they’d have a direction to go on, at least. All Nocturne could hope for was civilization on that piece of maybe-nonexistent turf.
“What now, Mr. Cheerful?” Shift asked Nocturne sarcastically. He tried hiding it, but failed.
“For one, Shift, drop the attitude. We need to work together whether we like it or not.”
“Sorry if I’m a little less than thrilled to be stranded with no food, water, signaling devices, or any form of help whatsoever.”
Nocturne had already started ignoring the grumpy unicorn. He’d get over it and cope eventually, but Nocturne wasn’t intending on wasting any time.
While Shift was stewing in his own self pity, Nocturne had started paddling along with the boat’s drifting motion. With any luck they may see some land before nightfall. Nocturne was humming to himself as he paddled along. The reason he started drinking so heavily was that his life had gotten boring and repetitive. This was just the challenge he was looking for, even if Shift was less than pleasurable company.
+++ Chapter 2: If you give a pony a fish... ++++
Shift had stopped his complaining since Nocturne wasn’t listening. So, instead, he looked and studied whatever he could to keep his mind busy. The water, the sun’s movements, the gulls flying and screeching above, and he even tried to figure out what Nocturne’s Cutie Mark meant.
It was like an orange brand against his flank. It was a few musical notes. Maybe he was a musical genius, or some kind of conductor? Who knew? He thought about asking him, but wondered if Nocturne would snap like he did. Shift looked down at his own cutie mark. He didn’t like talking about it. It was a blue oval, the symbol for the spell that allowed unicorns to pass through solid things. The one and only spell he knew.
”Which does us little good in this boat.” He thought.
As much as Shift tried to whine and complain, so far, Nocturne had been positive. Maybe, Shift thought, he should try doing the same. So, he rigged up the old fishing rod and dipped it into the water. With any luck, he might catch something worth trying to cook. He could probably boil a bucket of water, and make some fish broth or something. Then It came.
***
“Wheeeeee!” Nocturne yelled as he held onto Shift’s mane.
“Let go you idiot! That hurts!” Shift yelled as he held onto the old fishing pole. The huge swordfish jumped into the air as it struggled to get free. Shift held tight to the rod as the fish pulled the small boat. Nocturne seemed to be having too much fun. The full reality of the situation hadn’t hit him yet.
If Shift let go of their only fishing pole, then they’d be out of the one and only way of getting food. On the other hoof, the longer they let this swordfish pull them, the farther out to sea they would go, which meant they weren’t any worse off since they didn’t know where they were to start with.
“Come on! Reel him in!” Nocturne yelled in excitement. Shift yanked hard on the pole and pulled in the slack. It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t like he ever went fishing as a colt. The fact was, this was the first real time he had ever gone fishing. He pulled again on the pole, and the massive fish jumped into the air.
“Wow! He’s at least eight feet!” Nocturne yelled in Shift’s ear. He could hardly do anything about it. Shift’s hooves were holding tight to the pole. He knew without a doubt, if they lost the fishing pole, they’d both die in a week’s time. He pulled back on the fishing pole again as the swordfish entered the water.
The rod was bending much too far for Shift’s comfort, and before he could think of it, the worse happened. The snap that Shift never wanted to hear.
The pole’s shaft broke in half as the swordfish continued to pull. Shift held on tight as it started to pull right and left. Digging his rear hooves into the wooden seat in front of him, he struggled against the almighty monster, his every muscle aching The pole was broken, but that didn’t mean he was going to give up. The fish would last them at least a week. He continued to reel him in, and it was hard work, but he finally got it close to the boat.
***
“Hit the damn thing!” Shift yelled. Nocturne looked around and grabbed one of the oars. He slammed it over the top of the fish’s head, and a large lump formed, Irritating the behemoth. Shift grabbed its long bill and pulled it into the boat, leaving the tail hanging over the edge. Nocturne removed the hook from the creature’s mouth with a triumphant grin.
“Well, that was fun.” Nocturne joked.
Shift sat there, breathing hard, looking to Nocturne and then back to the fish. He didn’t know whether to be happy to have some food, or mad at Nocturne for being a pain in his flank, but either way, he didn’t care. This was victory number one. He started to laugh in joy, then it happened as if in slow motion. A great white shark leapt from the ocean and bit into the swordfish’s tail, dragging it out of the boat.
“Whoa! did you see that?!” Nocturne yelled like a little colt. Shift just sat there, his mouth open. his eye twitching a little.
“Did that really just happen?” Shift thought. Tears started to form under his eyes, and he quickly wiped them away. “No. I’m OK. It’s just a small setback. I’ll just catch another fish.” He thought, trying to remain positive. He grabbed the fishing pole, and looked slowly down to it. He had forgotten that it had broke in his battle with the swordfish.
“Aw Dammit! I hope you choke on it!” he yelled at the shark, waving the broken fishing pole above his head. He dropped it onto the bottom of the boat, and then he slammed down in the boat, and as it rocked back and forth, Nocturne put his hooves over his mouth.
“I told you not to do that.” Nocturne said, fighting a dry heave.
“Sorry.” Shift laid back in the boat...he was tired to start with, and that fish had taken a lot out of him. He looked over at one of the empty glass bottles.
“I wish it wasn’t empty. I could use a drink right about now.” He said licking his lips, and with that, the clouds lit up. A crack of thunder echoed in the air, and Shift bolted upright. A drop of rain hit the end of his nose, and he looked to Nocturne, and then up at the sky.
With another boom of thunder, the clouds opened up and dropped everything they had. Shift grabbed the old bait cans and bottles. If they could collect the rainwater, they had something to drink, He thought.
“WOW! LOOK AT THE WALL OF WATER!” Nocturne yelled.
Shift turned to face a huge wave, at least fifty feet high. He grabbed an oar. “OH SWEET BUTTER BISCUITS!" Shift yelled, paddling madly.
+++ Chapter 3: Wipeout++++++
“PADDLE FOR YOUR LIFE!” Shift yelled, as the two ponies tried to get away from the huge wave, but it pulled them into it. They soon found themselves riding the wave like a pair of surfers.
“LAND HO!” Nocturne yelled out of nowhere. Shift looked around. Nocturne was right, it was land. A small island, but land nevertheless. The wave started to curl over them, and before they knew it, they were in the tube of it.
“THIS WAY!” Shift yelled, trying to head for an opening at the end of the wave. They breached the end of the tube, and Shift looked to the left. There was the island. Palm trees and jungle behind them. The wave began to crash into a white beach. The boat jerked and rolled, finally flipping forward, throwing both ponies and their supplies onto the sand. The rain stopped as quickly as it came. Shift stood up and looked over at Nocturne.
“You OK?” he asked.
“Aye…You?” Nocturne asked. Shift nodded his head .
The front of the boat was stuck in the sand and the little supplies they had were thrown all over the beach. Shift saw a fallen palm tree. He walked over and sat down, Nocturne joining him.
“That was horrible.” Shift sighed.
“Look at it this way. Things can’t possibly get any…” before he could finish, a large coconut dropped onto Shift’s head, splitting in half and dropping to the ground. Shift looked slowly over to Nocturne, who appeared to have magically doubled himself.
“Were you going to say something?” he asked.
“No.” Nocturne said, looking down.
“Are you sure? I could swear you were about to say something” He pressed.
“No, no.” Nocturne chuckled nervously, looking at everything but Shift. “I wasn’t going to say anything.”
“Good, Naptime.” Shift said, falling backward, a bump perforating the top of his skull.
“Oh Jeez!” Nocturne said, crouching at Shift’s side. “That looked like it hurt.”
***
Shift had woken up, still dazed, his head throbbing rapidly. It was now shortly before nightfall, and Nocturne was relaxing on the beach. A small campfire crackled merrily under the remains of the rowboat, which, due to its’ hard landing, had splintered in several places, but still seemed seaworthy, and served as a pretty good roof.
Nocturne had been busy in the few hours that Shift was out of commission. He’d fashioned a rough, but usable shelter for them to sleep under, somehow managed to start a fire, and even catch a few fish for dinner. As Nocturne settled into the sand, he heard a shuffling next to him, and was pleased to see that Shift wasn’t totally broken.
“Feel better, my good pony?” Nocturne asked merrily.
“I feel like I got hit by a brown, round freight train, but I’m good.”
“Good to hear. Pull up some beach. Enjoy the sunset.”
“Might as well. You manage to catch anything to eat?”
“Well, we’ve got coconut marinated fish, fire-grilled fish, and fresh fish tea.” Nocturne laughed.
“Really? No bananas or anything?”
“Not ready to eat yet. I don’t need a very sick pony on my hooves.”
“I can take care of myself.” Shift huffed.
“By all means, do so. Don’t take any of my fish or my shelter, right?”
“Fine. You have a point. But still.”
“Shut up, watch the sunset.” Nocturne grumbled in Shift’s direction and nudging him a little.
“You know, you can be awfully mean at times, Nocturne.”
“And you can be awfully annoying. You’re pissing and moaning do us no good here.”
“Ok, ok. I get it. We need to work together. Is there anything I can do to help us?”
“Do whatever instinct tells you. Ponies are mostly outdoor creatures. If the fire’s low, feed it. If there’s a little food left or a rainstorm coming, let me know, and we can go harvesting or head for cover. Little stuff adds up to big victories.”
“I can do that.”
***
Luna’s moon was full and beautiful, and a warm breeze was wafting in from the shoreline. Shift decided it may be a good time to get to know Nocturne.
“So, you’re some kind of musician, Noc?” Shift asked the earth pony sitting across from him.
“Not exactly, no. I’m good with a piano, but I really enjoy working on clocks and watches. It’s a hobby, really, but it pays well to know your way around a sprocket, especially in Ponyville.
“Oh. How about your family? Do they still live in ponyville?”
“Yeah, but we all have our own lives. It’s difficult to spend time with them when there is none.”
“I know that feeling. I come from a well-off family, but, they’re more worried about bits over bonding time.” Shift laughed, and it came out like a depressed chuckle. “Maybe he’s not so bad ” he thought to himself.
“Is that why you don’t like company?” Nocturne inquired.
“Yeah, in a way. I’m not exactly social in general.”
“So what about your cutie mark? It’s kind of odd. No offense.”
“It’s alright. It’s only fair I share. I’m a unicorn, as you see, but, my only magical talent is phasing through objects. Even levitating and teleporting are difficult for me.”
“I’m guessing that talent doesn't pay the bills?”
“Yeah. Pretty much. But I don’t really need to. I’ve got a rich family and a trust fund back home.”
“Well, at least you’re not a braggart like that Trixie.”
“Yeah.” Shift honestly laughed this time “Nothing to brag about.” Noc laughed as well, then turned over on his side.
“Come on Shift. Let’s sleep off the day. Tomorrow is all active survival.”
“Amen.” With that, Shift dozed off, listening to the light snores of the earth pony beside him and the waves lapping at the shore.
***
Shift felt quite warm, and this struck him as odd. It was unseasonably hot, even for this island. He woke up, and through blurry eyes, he noticed the smell of burning fur and wood. Then he noticed the fire above his head.
Looking around, he saw several Earth ponies, which were definitely not civilized. They were sprinkling spices all over his body, and chanting in some ancient dialect.
“SOME PONY! ANY PONY! SAVE MEEEEEE!!!” Shift shouted, unsure if anyone could hear him.
“THEY GOING TO EAT ME LIKE FRIED PORK! HEEEELLLLPPPP!!!!” Shift kept screaming.
“Have no fear, Nocturne is here!” The midnight blue Earth pony came crashing through the trees, swinging on a vine as he wielded a dull fillet knife in his teeth. Somehow, Nocturne managed to land behind Shift and cut him loose, dropping him, accidentally, into the fire below.
“What are you trying to do, Nocturne? Cook me as well?!?” Shift yelled, rolling out of the fire and dusting himself off.
“No, I’m trying to save you!” Nocturne grinned, holding the weak knife before him like a cutlass.
“Well you’re doing a great job!” Shift said sarcastically, getting back to his hooves.
“So now what?” he asked, as Nocturne grabbed a burning red log, and tossed it into what he thought was the chief’s tent. Within seconds, the shelter went up in a blaze of orange, and smelled faintly of death.
“That’ll get their attention.” he smiled like a madpony, seemingly fearless. Or stupid. That was largely up for debate right now.
“And how do you plan to get us out of here?”
“Run! That’s how!” Nocturne charged the nearest ponies, scattering them like bowling pins. The tribes ponies were shouting in their ancient language, tossing spears and other rudimentary weapons at the pair, narrowly missing their tails and flanks.
“We wait until daybreak. They probably won’t attack during the day, and if they do, we’ll be ready. First thing tomorrow, we try the boat again. It’s better than becoming lunch!”
“Are you bloody crazy, Nocturne! You really want to stay on this island another night?!”
“Crazy? Probably. Staying another night, Maybe. You’ll just have to find out, won’t you? Your sanity is judged by those around you!” Nocturne giggled like a school colt, running for his life.
Shift blinked a few times and then shouted at the top of his lungs. “Yep, you’re definitely out of your mind!” as he chased Nocturne into the Jungle and away from the cannibals.
Once they reached the shoreline, they ran around gathering supplies. They didn’t know how long they had until the cannibals caught up to them.
Nocturne finished digging the boat out and started to get the fishing equipment. Shift on the other hand, was gathering bananas and coconuts, and a few rocks, throwing them into the boat, just missing Nocturne’s head.
After a few minutes they had gathered everything they had when they landed on the island and then some. As they left the shoreline behind, spears and arrows were littering the beach. They’d live another day, but couldn’t stay on the Ocean for very long. They needed to find a new island with less violent natives, and soon.
Upon further inspection, our heroes found the following: A total of 20 coconuts,4 large rocks, and 2 bunches of unripe bananas, but they’d be edible in a few days.
++++ Chapter 4: Ocean madness ++++
A number of hours had passed, Luna’s beautiful and hypnotic night surrounding the pair. A nearly full moon cast pale light over the little rowboat, and Shift laid there, staring up at the night sky.
“Don’t see this many stars, at least not in the city...” he smiled, and Nocturne grunted in agreement. “So now what?” he asked the Earth pony, who seemed lost in contemplation.
“We’ve got no choice but to wait. If we had some sort of Nav gear, I’d be much more comfortable. But now, we’re at the sea’s mercy, and thus far she hasn’t been a kind mistress. If nothing else, we sleep. Daylight will come soon enough.” It was strangely sage advice, coming from a personality like his.
Shift lay there as Nocturne tried to sleep. He looked at the stars for a few minutes, and then something dawned on him. He sat up fast, shaking the boat once again.
“Hey!” Nocturne grumbled.
“That’s it!” Shift said, gathering the broken parts of the fishing pole. Nocturne watched wondering what he was doing.
“Here it is.” he said holding a small triangle-shaped thing above his head.
“That’s great” Nocturne said, grumpily. “What is it?”
“This, my dear insane pony….This is the solution to our problem.” He said with a huge smile.
“Really now?” Nocturne said in disbelief. “It just looks like a waste of fishing line.”
“This wonderful little device will help us find our direction.”
“Prove it.” Nocturne said. He really was quite sleepy, but this seemed to be one of the first few proactive things the unicorn had done all day. “Or go to sleep. We’re gonna need some sort of energy for tomorrow.”
“No, we can’t sleep!” he leapt on top of him, the boat shaking once again. He was eye to eye with him and Nocturne laid there, a little afraid that his companion had gone mad.
“Ok.” he said “You haven’t been drinking the sea water, have you Shift?”
“Me? no…Ok, maybe a little? but I’m fine. Even the seagull agrees, right Sugar?” he said, pointing at the white bird that had seemingly come from nowhere.
“Well, we have no other ideas, so let’s see what your little gadget does, eh?” Nocturne reclined in the bow of the boat, as well as he could. “Lead us home, number 2.”
“Great! grab that paddle and do as I say.” He asked Nocturne to spin the boat around, as he was looking out into the night sky and then, he stopped, His back to Nocturne. Nocturne gripped the paddle with both hooves. He figured if he knocked him out, in the morning the crazy would be gone. He hoped. He stood up slowly, trying to not rock the boat. Holding the paddle above his head and readying himself, he waited.
“Now, where are you my little friend...” Shift muttered. Nocturne took a deep breath, raised the paddle, and prayed he didn’t kill the poor bloke.
“THERE YOU ARE!” Shift pointed and looked back to Nocturne, who quickly put the paddle behind his back.
“There? who? what?” Nocturne said, Shift’s outburst momentarily derailing him.
“The big dipper.” he said. Nocturne blinked a few time.
“The what?”
“The constellation, the big dipper” he said.
“The constell….” he try sounding it out. Shift sighed.
“Those stars up there.” he pointed. “They make up the big dipper. and if you follow the handle down....BINGO! The North Star!” he smiled triumphantly.
“So, the North Star leads us North, which….” A look of recollection came across Nocturne’s features, what could be seen by moonlight, anyway.
“Which tells us where every other direction is. But that’s not the important part.” Shift smiled as if he was a blue ribbon hog at a fair.
Nocturne stared at him, a little confused. “What’s good about knowing North from South, or East from West?”
“Because of my upbringing, I had to sit in boring classes about everything from poetry to mathematics. I just remembered something that I thought would never help me at all. Star Mapping.”
“Star mapping? I think you’ve gone off the deep, friend. Sun’s done fried your brain.”
Shift continued, unperturbed. “Yes, my dear friend. Star Mapping. I never got into it, but they say the old sailors used the stars to sail by night, so I figured, with a little help from this...” he held up the small triangle again.
“I can find all sorts of different constellations and they can tell me where we are in the world. for example, that’s Orion. See the three stars in his belt?” he pointed. Nocturne just saw stars, nothing more, nothing less.
“I don’t get it. How’s this helping?”
“Because Orion sits in the night sky, due east of Ponyville’s shipyard, so if we head east…”
“We head home! Brilliant! And here I thought you were all fuss and no fire.”
“Thank you, thank you, my dear friend. Now then...” he coughed, after receiving a heavy clap on his shoulder, and recovered his bearings. Shift continued “So let me see...we need to head this way...” he pointed in the direction of Ponyville and home, he hoped.
+++Chapter 5: The Brave Little Pony +++
Nocturne was happy, yes, but it was already late at night. “Shift, even if we are headed the right way, we need to sleep. The sun will be plenty bright enough to wake us up, then we can recover your heading and go home. We aren’t going to be able to move this boat when we’re drained of all energy.”
“Right you are, my new friend.” He said with a yawn. “let us catch some Z’s…” They both laid down in the bottom of the boat and Shift had a smile on his face even as he tried to sleep.
“I helped” He thought to himself.
Nocturne was already out cold under one of the banana bunches. He was bone tired and mentally exhausted, and really just wanted a night of peace.
***
Shift woke up and stretched, hearing his bones and muscles popping inside him. Sure, he’d never slept worse in his life, but at least he had Nocturne at his back. Looking around, he didn’t see his friend anywhere.
“Noc, you still there buddy?” He shuffled aside both banana bunches, and Noc was nowhere to be found.
“Nocturne,hey, this is no time for jokes! We’re going home!” Shift realized the boat wasn’t moving anymore, and looking over the edge, saw that it was placed neatly alongside a sandbar.
He guessed they must have floated over it in the night, and low tide stopped them from drifting out. A beach much like the one they had left behind was staring at him.
Looking around, he’s noticed something peculiar about the sands before him. Unless Nocturne spawned 4 extra limbs overnight, Noc was here with another pony that wasn’t Shift.
Recalling the island residents that they left behind, He was none too confident that there may be more, out in the deep blue like this.
“Oh god, what am I gonna do? Noc’s gone, I have no idea where he is or where I am, and no idea what’s waiting for me…” Placing his hooves on either side of his head, he shook the hysteria loose. He was no longer that whiny little rich pony. He’d found their bearing on his own, and he wasn’t about to freak over a missing Pony he still hadn’t a lot of knowledge of.
“It’s fine. I’m fine. I can leave and nopony will be the wiser. The extra food would be nice…” He thought internally.
But Noc had tried to save them both when he was losing his mind the day previous, even after his petulant fit. He could have let the cannibals eat him, but he put his neck out for him.
“I may not be a friendly pony, but I’ll be damned if I let someone that saved my bacon fade to history. If nothing else, we’ll be even, and I always pay my debts.”
With newfound courage, Shift took stock of the hoofprints and anything else he could find. They were slightly smaller and more feminine than his own, but that could be the sun playing tricks on him. Nothing was missing from the boat except Noc, so he was probably off gathering supplies or something. A practical pony like him would do that much.
“It’s not like he’s off chasing flank” he laughed. A few minutes later the hoof prints led into the jungle. Shift swallowed hard and took a deep breath.
“Ok, you can do this. Your friend’s in there and he’s probably fine. But you’re just going to check on him.” He took another deep breath and let it out. The jungle animals howled and chattered.
“Maybe I’ll just head back to the boat...and as he turned, he froze as he recognized a voice that had just erupted from the jungle behind him.
“GOD! STOP! YOU’RE KILLING ME!” Nocturne yelled out. Without hesitation, Shift ran head first into the jungle. He pushed through vines, large leaves, Snakes, and Spiderwebs. He finally tripped over a root and rolled down a bank into a large mud pit. He looked up, wiping the mud from his face. What he saw, he almost couldn’t comprehend.
Sitting on a fallen log with 8 beautiful mares,was Nocturne. He was laughing as they kissed and tickled him. Shift’s blood began to boil. Not only did he leave him in the boat alone, but here he was, getting his rocks off with all those mares, without even inviting him!
Shift was just about to stand up and confront him, when the ground began to shake. The mares look scared, and Noc’s eyes grew large. Shift looked behind him. Standing there, were two freakishly large mares with clubs. They were 3 times the size of him or Nocturne. Shift laid down in the mud and watched as they walked over and grabbed Noc.
“We take colt now. He make ritual with queen.” One said, lowering her club.
“No! he’ll die!” One of the smaller mares cried out.
“Is fate for all colt on sacred island! Queen decide where he go when done. ”
“You stop sacred ritual, you die!” The other one growled, slamming her club on the log and splitting it, scattering the mares.
The smaller mares ran off after Noc. When they had all disappeared, Shift climbed out of the mud pit and followed. It wasn’t hard, since they left a trail as wide as a rhino. He soon found himself on the edge of a large stone village. Hiding in the bushes, Shift continued searching for Nocturne. The sweet aroma of flowers was thick in the air around the village. He looked around and saw mares sparring or tending to the various plants, animals, and other minutiae of the village.
In one section of the village, a particularly large building stood, and was what Shift assumed was supposed to be the mess hall. He crept up to the window as quietly as he could, and found something entirely different. Noc was chained to what would be a large dining table for any normal pony, but the furs scattered about the top and around the blue pony hinted at something otherwise. Noc still seemed to be having the time of his life, and if he was concerned, didn’t show it well.
“Nocturne! Hey!” Shift whispered loudly, trying not to alarm the various sentries posted around the village.
Noc snapped to attention, and noticed that Shift’s head was small in comparison to the window he was outside of.
“Hey Shift! These jungle mares know how to party, man! Although I think the chains are a little much, but hey, I”m not against them exactly.” Noc snickered, like he was king of the world. He was about to have the time of his life, or so he thought.
“You moron! Are you really so deaf that you didn’t hear them talking about their queen making you her slave?” Shift sat there, not sure if he should kill Noc himself or let the Queen do it for him.
“If she’s as cute as the smaller ones, I got no objections.”
“They’re going to perform some sort of ritual on you. Punishable by death if it’s interrupted. That is NOT a good time, I’m sure of it.
“You’re such a prude, Shift, or are you...y’know…”
“I am not, thank you very much! Listen, we gotta get you off that table and outta here!”
“Just sit back and enjoy the show.” Noc laughed. Shift couldn’t believe how oblivious this pony was, but his honor code dictated he do something.
“I’ll be right in.” Concentrating the fiber of his being into the magical conduit atop his forehead, Shift entered an ethereal state. His body was there, but not. Kind of like being between dimensions. If he lost concentration, he’d split himself in half. His tutor had made that point VERY clear to him. If he screwed up, they’d both be so busted.
Thankfully, he was able to phase easily, even though he’d had next to no restful sleep.
“let’s get those chains off of you…” Shift looked around for anything he could use to open or break the heavy iron bracelets.
“Dammit...nothing….” Shift grumbled to himself. If he didn’t move fast, they were both boned. Not that he needed reminding.
“Ok, Noc, I don’t know what they gave you, but it broke your brain. You need to buy me some time. Do you understand?”
“I’ll try. but damn, I really want some of that special water they gave me. I feel kinda like a jellyfish..glub glub..”
Eeyup, Noc was fried. Shift facehoofed, wondering momentarily if it was too late to leave the poor stallion to his fate.
He decided he couldn’t live with himself if he let Noc die in such an inebriated state. Sober, maybe, but not like this. Phasing back through the wall as Noc started stringing together random songs, Shift looked around for any of the bigger Amazons. He figured they seemed like the enforcers of the place, so they must have had the keys.
He found one of them lounging against a tree, nearly asleep.
“Aha. Target Sighted.” Shift said jovially. “Now about those keys…” Skirting the underbrush near the tree, Shift poked his head out from behind a large fern, and realized the keys were attached to whatever served as a loincloth for the hulking, effeminate brute.
“Just had to be attached didn’t they…” He grumbled. Picking up a stick, he made a move for the keys, and one hoof came crashing down inches from his muzzle. Apparently, the brute was getting annoyed at the creepy crawlies around her and started swatting at them.
“New plan....” He said, recovering his wits after nearly being splattered.
Seeing some animal pelts laying on a nearby drying rack, he decided he would try his hand at a bit of cosplay.
Dressing himself to resemble one of the smaller females, he grabbed a large leaf to serve as a face cover, and after he was satisfied with his appearance, he approached the hulking mare. Upon further inspection, She had to be about the same size as a well built, full grown stallion. Slightly smaller than he’d initially imagined, but still big for a mare. If he hadn’t heard the voices earlier, he would never have been able to tell the difference.
As the huge mare got up to find a new place to nap, the keys, as if clipped by an invisible force, dropped to the ground, and thankfully, weren’t noticed. Shift grabbed them up quickly, and after the mare had disappeared from view, made a mad dash for Nocturne.
Once again, he passed the wall easily, and unlocked the cuffs holding the stallion down.
“ Oh Hey, back so soon?” Nocturne chuckled, and as he was about to undo the last binding, the front door swung wide, letting a menacing green mare, who was missing an eye, into the room.
“HOT BUTTER BISCUITS! RUN, NOCTURNE!” Shift yelled, waking his friend from his stupor.
“That definitely does not look like a good time!” Nocturne followed in stride, and as Shift pointed their way to the boat, he heard the shrill cries of failure, and before long, the pair were being tailed by the two enforcers and the green meanie.
“crapcrapcrapcrapcrap….” Shift repeated, looking for any sort of obstacle between them and their pursuers.
The pair ducked under trees, bounded over fallen logs, and splashed through as many mud puddles as they could, trying to weaken the terrain behind them. Luckily, some of this had worked, and the two enforcers tripped, falling over one another in a sprawl of hooves and furs.
Green Meanie, however, was used to chasing things through the jungle and swamp, and easily avoided most of the natural traps and obstacles along the route, leaping lightly over them or going around entirely.
“Damnit, she wants you bad, Noc! What the hell did you tell her?”
“I might have told her I loved her or something stupid like that. I don’t even remember how I got there!”
“We’ll discuss it later! keep running!” Shift ducked under another log, scraping his mane along the bark. Had he reacted any slower, he’d have been screwed, and probably had a horrible headache.
Finally, the shoreline was in sight, and their little boat, somehow, had floated just far enough away so they were out of range of the sandbar, but close enough to climb in without tipping it.
“Noc, boat, now!” Shift yelled, and began slinging wet sand bombs at the pursuer they had left. She easily dodged the first couple of bombs, then Shift nailed her square in the muzzle with the last one. As Shift whooped in triumph, and before the startled she-monster could get a bead on them again, they were gone, at the mercy of the ocean again.
Her guttural scream of primal rage could be heard for miles on the wind.
“WHY is every island we come across filled with some sort of crazy ponies?!?” Shift yelled, exasperated.
“I have no idea, but now that I think of it, where was that little gadget you made..” Nocturne was searching around for the little device, and gave up the ghost after a minute or two. He wanted to nap.
“How can you nap at a time like this?” Shift asked his compatriot, utterly befuddled by the sheer ease at which Nocturne was taking things.
“The heck else are we gonna do? Talk about our feelings? Pfft.”
++++Chapter 6: Ghosts? ++++
Nocturne awoke to a loud screeching. He blinked a few times and then burst into laughter. Shift, on the other hoof, was swinging the paddle violently.
“What’s with all these damn gulls!? one second, I’m rowing and the next, they attacked me!” He’d managed to hit a few but, wasn’t making a dent in their numbers.
“Maybe they’re Sugar’s friends?” Nocturne said, Trying to hold back the laughter and failing.
“It’s not funny, dammit! for the love of…HELP ME!” Shift yelled as the birds swept down and began to peck at him.
“Alright, alright…I got ya.” Nocturne said, standing up slowly. “Come on now; shoo, shoo.” he waved his hoof but the gulls just turned their attention to Nocturne.
“Augh! Hey! What’d I do?” he yelled at the flying sea rats.
“Not so funny now, is it? Shift mocked his friend, enjoying his pain for a moment.
“Shift, what’d you do to these dang birds?” Nocturne yelled.
“Nothing. like I said, I was just rowing.” Shift huffed indignantly.
“Well, you had to have done something!” Nocturne said, taking and waving the paddle at the flock of feathery jerks.
“for the love of…GOD DAMN BIRDS” he yelled again. As they both failed to fight off the swarm of seagulls, they weren’t worried about the thick fog that was slowly enveloping the vessel they called home.
***
There was a loud bang, and the birds scattered. The pair looked to each other and smiled.
“Ahoy, mates. Need some help?” They both looked up at a large ship, weathered and worn, but still seaworthy, by Celestia’s grace. It had definitely seen better days.
A white mare stood at the railing, almost otherworldly in her beauty. She had long, raven locks, and a large black hat with a red feather. Her eyes were red as fresh blood, but somehow, The pair could not look away. A smoking flintlock pistol was held loosely in her left hoof, the right one supporting her weight upon the rail.
“Oh, thank the stars!” Shift said. Nocturne raised an eyebrow and looked up at the ship flag. He smiled broadly, for the good ship was flying the Royal Insignia of Luna herself. And for once in the entire trip, he felt safe.
“Yes, we need all the help we can get. We’ve been lost at sea for what seems like months.” Shift smiled politely at the gorgeous figure before him. “Finally we’re saved, and I couldn’t ask for a more beautiful savior” Shift thought to himself.
“Well, don’t just sit there, climb on up.” She threw a rope down to the pair, and Nocturne caught it easily, as if he were an old pro.
“Tie off your dinghy and scoot, before the waves catch ye.” she said, walking away.
It only took a second for both colts to tie the rowboat up and climb the rope to the ship. Both were ready for this whole ordeal to be over. Once on deck, both stallions kissed the worn floorboards under their hooves.
“Oi, I wouldn’t do that, mates. Mine deck ain’t been scrubbed in some time. Mind the Droppings, lads.” They both looked below them and noticed wet spots in the gull droppings. Wiping their mouths, they both stifled a gag reflex so as not to make a bad appearance upon the lady.
The white mare just laughed at the pair of them.
“You two don’t seem to be the sailing type. how’d ye get way out yonder?” she asked, gesturing at the cerulean abyss around them.
Nocturne faced her, finally getting a good look. He was contemplating an answer, but froze. There was something about her that was uncannily familiar, and not in a good way.
“Large black hat with a long red feather, White mare, wearing a black cape, and a beat up old ship...I swear, I know her. But from where?” he thought to himself.
Sensing Nocturne’s hesitant response, Shift spoke up. His mare-crazy friend was probably just tongue tied. “We really don’t know. Both of us were out drinking and then ended up in that rowboat.” Shift said, regaining his composure.
“Aye, many a good sailor’s fallen prey to the drink. But fortune smiles upon you, this day.” she said with a smile. “So who ye be, lads? Davy Jones shan’t have you this night.”
Normally, Noc was always first to speak up, but he was eerily quiet. “I’m Shift, and this is Nocturne, milady.”
“Something wrong with your mate? he a deaf or mute?” She asked. After a moment, she assumed she wasn’t getting an answer or the blue one was shy. She bet herself he wouldn't stay that way for long, not after what she had planned. “Matters not, it’s nice to meet ye. I’ll bet me last bottle you two could use a nice, hot meal.”
Their stomachs growled in unison, and she laughed.
“Right then, follow me gents, mind your hooves.” She waved them along, and Shift smiled and seemed to have a spring in his step. Meanwhile. Nocturne walked behind and surveyed his surroundings. The ship seemed empty. There was no crew on deck, and a lone crow cried out from the masts above. The crow may have been her pet, but there should have been at least a man or two running some sort of errand. This sent shivers down his spine, He wasn’t quite sure what to make of this, but he wasn’t arguing with a hot meal. The mare opened the deck’s cargo hatch and led them into the galley.
“Sorry about this, but it’s going to be a few minutes, mates. My cook left me after so many years of service and I haven’t been able to replace him.” She sighed, but perked up a wee bit. “maybe I can fix you up something.” She switched her Tricorn out for a chef’s cap, and with a flip of her cloak, was off to the kitchen. “Just sit anywhere.” she said, as she seemingly vanished.
“I don’t like this, Shift.” Nocturne said as they sat down at a grubby table that seemed like it hadn’t been cleaned in ages.
“What’s not to like? We’re on a nice, large ship, with a beautiful mare, and she’s fixing us dinner.” Shift smiled in a goofy way, as if entranced.
“Something’s off here...”
Knowing Nocturne wasn’t gonna shut up until he spoke his piece, Shift humored the stallion. Seeing him so befuddled was funny. “Like what?” Shift asked, dusting the table in front of him with his hoof.
“Well, for starters, where’s the crew? A ship this big should have a large crew” he said, waving around the large, empty room.
“They’re asleep. It is pretty late.” he pointed at the window, and it was indeed nightfall.
“Ok. They’re all asleep.” Noc said sarcastically. “There’s not a single watchpony or helmspony? Hell, even a Bosun would be around, making sure nopony was out doing things they shouldn't.”
“Maybe she was doing both jobs? a Mare on a ship isn’t unheard of these days. And she could summon an entire crew with the snap of whip or ring of a bell.” Shift said nonchalantly. “What’s your problem, Noc? why so jumpy?” Shift was really getting tired of Noc’s buzz kill attitude.
“I’m not being jumpy.” Noc stated flatly, getting irritated at Shift’s aloof attitude, which was entirely new to him. “Something seems off about this whole thing, and I swear I know that mare.” he said, rubbing the side of his head with both hooves.
“You know her?” It was Shift’s turn to play skeptic. “How can you know her? We just met her. Like 5 minutes ago.”
“I know. I can’t stop this feeling, deep inside of me.”
“Easy Noc. I know we’re buddies, but I’m a red-blooded, straight pony.” Shift laughed at his own joke. “It’s because of that last island wasn’t it.” Shift smiled coyly.
“What? What are you talking about?” Noc grunted, keeping an eye on the kitchen doors.
“That water they gave you. It’s still messing with your head” he said, messing Nocturne’s mane. It actually looked more presentable than usual, afterwards. “But no worries. I’m here to keep you sane.”
Almost on cue, the captain swept in from the kitchen, as she slid two bowls to them through a slot in the wall.
“Alright boys, here ye go, some nice, warm oatmeal and honey.” Shift smiled and dug straight in, disregarding whatever manners he had. Nocturne smelled it, a strange habit he developed. If something smelled off, it was probably gonna kill you or make you crazy sick.
“Seems fine” he whispered to himself, as to not offend their gracious host. He grabbed a spoon and dug in himself. “Maybe you’re right, I’m just being a little jumpy.”
“There ya go.” Shift said, punching his shoulder. “Now come on, let’s eat.”
A few minutes later they had both polished off six servings each, and were starting on their seventh.
“How’s it goin’ lads?” The white mare said, sauntering up to them. She was wearing her large black hat once again.
“It great.” Nocturne said with a mouthful, Shift laughing at him.
“Those are some good lads. Eat all ye want.” she said, patting their shoulders.
“Thanks, but you’ve done quite enough, I don’t think I could eat another bite.” Shift said, pushing the bowl away.
“No worries, lad. I’m only helping a pair of lost souls.” She said, laughing.
“See, Noc, nothing to worry about.” Shift laughed.
“Oh, you were worried?” she asked. Shift laughed as Nocturne’s muzzle turned pink.
“Yeh. He was worried that the ship was abandoned, and that your were tricking us somehow.”
‘Tis an understood feelin’, my boys. Not everyday do you find yourself rescued from the sea-mother. Fear not, for my intentions are naught but noble.” She laughed
“See, Noc. Nothing to worry about. Right, Miss…I’m afraid I didn’t get your name?” Shift asked, making for a proper introduction.
“Rose…Rose Scarlet.” Nocturne spit out the mouthful of oats he was currently eating, into Shift’s face.
“Come on, man. Take smaller bites or something.” Shift said, wiping the slop off.
“Oh, it seems somepony knows who I am.” Rose said joyfully.
Nocturne’s face was paler than Luna’s moonlight. He nodded in agreement.
“I’m sorry, I’m a bit lost here. Are you famous, Miss Scarlet?” Shift asked, confused.
“You could say that.” Nocturne said.
“Well, I’m sorry again, but I’ve never heard of you before this. But you have my thanks.” Shift said, putting a hoof out to her. He blinked a few times, then realized she had drawn her sword and was pointing it at his nose. “Have I offended you, Miss Scarlet?” Shift said, involuntarily putting up his hooves in surrender.
“Oh, no, my dear. But your friend may act rashly if I don’t...settle this” she said, smiling, half crazy, half coy.
“Noc? what’s going on here?” he asked, without moving or taking his eyes off the blade.
“That’s the one and only Rose Scarlet. One of the world’s most infamous pirates the seas have ever seen” he told his befuddled friend..
“You don’t say.” Shift could feel the sweat running cold all over his body.
“She used to lure ships in close, leading them to believe her ship was friendly, then she would raid the ship, and once she’d gotten what she came for, She’d fire on the disabled vessels and sink them. If you surrendered, you became her crew, if you fought, you would be slaughtered.”
“I haven’t heard.” Shift chuckled nervously. “I’ve been away from the news as of late.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to know.” Nocturne grunted, watching as her eyesight twitched between the two. She was famous for being smart, and would notice right away if something were amiss.
“Why’s that?” Shift’s eyes began to cross. He could not take focus off the metal blade in front of him, hard as he tried.
“Because she’s been dead for over 200 years.” Nocturne said cryptically.
“Come on now. this is no time for jokes.” Shift said nervously.
“I’m not.” Nocturne’s voice was funeral serious, which didn’t bode well for either of the stallions.
“I’m afraid you’re attractive friend is right.” Rose smiled, revealing a hole in her chest. “I am indeed dead.” Shift blinked a few times, stunned. He could see light coming from the other side of the wound.
“Hey!” Shift said, indignant. Why was Noc always the attractive one?
“Lad, I’d not act rashly if I were you. You’re cute too, but not my type. That wound was...a parting gift from my beloved” she smiled again. “But now, I believe it’s time we got down to business.”
***
A short time later, she had Shift shackled in the brig, and Nocturne at gunpoint, leading him to her Private Quarters.
“Now then. what to do with you?” she said, running her free hoof up his back and sending a confused shiver up his spine. “Ahh yes, I know…” she jumped onto a large bed with red sheets, sending a couple pillows flying off.
Nocturne blinked a few times. He knew where this was going, and wasn’t sure how to feel about it.
“I’ve been so lonely since my crew left me, and death is so boring.” she smiled sensually, fixing him with bedroom eyes and running her hoof along the Satin sheets she was on.
“What are you saying?” Nocturne asked.
“Oh, come now, prettyboy. Your friend may be cute, but he’s a little slow on the uptake. But I can tell you know what I’m asking.” she said with a wicked smile.
“And what do I get in return?” he ask.
“You get the privilege of spending the night with the one and only Captain Rose Scarlet. And I may yet let you live if you’re as good as you look.
“No thanks, I’ll pass.”
“What!?!”
“I said I’ll pass. I don’t do crazy. Either give me a better deal, or shoot” he said, Staring at her defiantly. If this was where he made his last stand, he wouldn’t be a punk about it. She crossed her hooves, waiting, then sighed.
“Fine then.” She aimed the gun at Nocturne.
“If you can satisfy me.” she lowered the gun to her side. “You can go free.”
“And Shift?” he asked. She pulled a ring of keys from her bodice.
“Him as well.” she said laying down and throwing the keys under her pillow. Nocturne swallowed hard.
“Deal.” he said, sauntering forward. He kissed her lower hooves and then worked his way up her belly, and she shivered, her coat standing on end. He moved slowly across her stomach and up to her neck. “If I can just get those keys” he thought to himself, and he made a sly grab for them.
-Click- he felt the cold metal barrel under his chin, and backed away slowly.
“Not so fast, my love.” She pushed him back down.
“You’ll start there, and work your way up.” she said pointing at her back right hoof, and aiming the pistol in his face now. Just then, there was a knock at the door.
Rose quickly jumped up. “Who dares disturb her evening?” She thought angrily, momentarily forgetting she was a ghost of sorts, on an abandoned ship. Knocking Nocturne to the ground, she opened a small peephole and looked out, seeing nothing. She slowly opened the door and aimed the pistol out, listening for any movement or noise.
-Squawk-
She looked down at a large white seagull, and it pecked the door a few more times. She let out an exasperated sigh, and fired at the bird, scaring it off.
“Now, where were we…” She froze and looked at the empty cabin. She ran over to the bed and flipped the pillow, and the keys were still there. But her sheets were gone. She looked under the bed, the pretty one wasn’t there. She then heard a creaking sound and she looked over to the window, and It was open. She ran out of her doors and searched from bow to stern. She could make out a small boat with two Stallions rowing away, fast.
Her pained scream echoed on the winds, causing the pair a moment of pause.
“If I ever find those two again, I’ll blow them away on the spot.” She grumbled, slamming her cabin doors.
***
“That was close.” Nocturne said, as he rowed. “By the way, how did you get out?” Shift had a big grin that he was wearing proudly.
“I’m good at one spell, only one. And this time, it paid the bills.”
Nocturne smiled. “Wait. how did it pay?”
Shift kicked the red bed sheet which he had used to help Noc climb out of Scarlet’s room. Under it was tools, boards, blankets, pillows, food, rope, rolls of paper which Nocturne figured was maps, and more importantly, a Compass.
“You sly dog.”
“Hey I’m not the one that almost slept with “The infamous Captain Rose Scarlet.” Shift laughed.
“You heard that?” Nocturne’s face was red as a ripe apple.
“Yep.” Shift said cracking a smile.
“Well, it’s better then sleeping with Sugar.” Nocturne said, pointing. Shift turned and saw a lone seagull sitting on the end of the boat.
-Squawk-
They looked at each other and laughed.
“She’s kind of grown on me.” Shift said as the fog lifted and the sun beamed down upon their weary muzzles.
++++Chapter 7: Mast Effect ++++
Nocturne watched as Shift moved around, repairing the boat and trying to make a small mast and sail. Shift giggled a little to himself.
To think a few days, (or weeks) ago, they were arguing with the complete stranger that had stuck by their side this entire time. Of course, they were still scared that Scarlet was going to come after them, If death didn’t take them first. But after what they’d been through thus far, they were ready to take the challenge head on.
“Ok, It’s ready.” Shift said, wiping sweat from his forehead and snapping Nocturne out of his reverie. “One, Two, Three, Pull!”
Nocturne pulled on the rope hard, and Shift lifted the mast, which he had made from a few boards he had taken from Scarlet’s ship. Once it was vertical, he quickly hammered it to the middle seat, then placed a board across the little rowboat. Attaching two long boards on each end of the one, these sticking in the water.
“What are those for?” Nocturne asked.
“To keep us from flipping. Here” he threw a paddle to him. “That’s our rudder.”
Nocturne blink a few times. Shift was taking charge as if he were a ship captain.
“You do know we’re in this together, right?” he asked Shift. But he was busy pulling out one of the maps and the compass he had stolen from the ship, and mumbling to himself. Nocturne let out a disgruntled sigh and threw the paddle over his shoulder. A second later, he looked back and smiled
“Let’s see. If I’m reading this map right then that’s the island we started on….this has to be that island Noc got drugged on, and we were heading east when we ran into Scarlet...so that puts us somewhere around here...” Shift said to himself.
-SQUAWK- Shift jumped and spun around. It was the seagull that had been following them, and she was sitting on the end of the paddle Noc was holding. Nocturne had a big smile on his face.
“DAMN IT, NOC! YOU NEAR GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK!” he yelled as Sugar flew up and landed on the top of their makeshift mast.
“Oh come on, cheer up. You’ve had the same grumpy face for the longest time, and you’ve barely said a word since you got those maps. We’re set for a good while, now. Scarlet’s long gone and you’re still worried she’s going to come after us. But it’s been two days since we last saw anything.” Nocturne said, imitating a nagging mother.
Shift let out an exasperated sigh. “You’re right, sorry, it’s just...”
“What? What’s eating you mate, aside from our normal circumstances?” Nocturne asked, genuinely concerned. Shift looked like he was on the verge of hysterics. Even more than normal.
“I’m a bit homesick.” He said looking up at a few clouds passing overhead. “I miss my books, my messy floors, my bed. Oh, how I miss my bed.”
“I hear you, I do, but ordering me around isn’t going to help us. I don’t deal with orders well. We are a team and there’s no “ I ” in team. Besides, If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t be in our semi-comfy position right now.” Nocturne finished, and Shift smiled.
“That was the corniest line I’ve ever heard. But yeah, I gotcha. Teamwork. Brothers in survival.” Shift cracked a smile for the first time in what seemed like days.
“Brother?” Noc said, astonished. Friend, sure. Best friend, maybe. But brother was a hell of a jump for someone like Shift.
“What? would you rather be sisters?” Shift joked.
“No. I just never figured you felt the same way.”
“Don’t get me wrong. You still drive me crazy from time to time. but…”
“That what brothers do.” Nocturne said, finishing his sentence. They looked at each other and laughed. Apparently, Shift also had a sense of humor. This was new.
“Right then. What’s the plan, brother?” Nocturne said as they stopped laughing. Shift spread the map out between the two of them.
“Let’s see...I think I figured out where we started.” pointing to a small island that had a been marked ‘cannibals.’
“and then we somehow made it here..” he pointed at an island marked ‘amazons’. “I know we were heading east when we ran into Scarlet.”
Nocturne shivered at her name, and they both smiled. “So that put us somewhere around here.”
“Ok.” Noc still wasn’t sure how Shift had figured all this out, but what more was there to lose? “And where’s home, sweet home?” He asked as another large cloud passed overhead and cast a shadow over the map.
“Right here. Due East of us, still.”
Shift pulled out the compass, and the needle spun around, then pointed North. “Right, then we need to go that way.” He pointed behind them
“Right.” Nocturne spun the boat around, and Shift licked his hoof and held it up. He smiled and grab a rope he had ran up the mast. He looked back to Nocturne.
“Ready brother? The wind favors us this day!”
“Ready here, brother.” Nocturne said, bracing himself against the stern, and holding tight to the rudder, keeping it straight.
Shift pulled hard on the rope, and the red bedsheet shot up. They wind quickly unfolded the sheet and the sheet caught it. Shift fell backward and landed next to Nocturne.
“Whoo!!” Nocturne yelled in pure glee, dragging the shout out as long as his lungs would hold out.
“I think we can beat that swordfish in a race this time.” Shift laughed.
“Are you kidding?! We’re faster than that damn shark!” Nocturne shouted over the wind, laughing.
“I hope he’s ok.” Shift was nearly busting a gut.
“Who?” Nocturne asked, confused for a second
“The shark. I hope he didn’t choke on it.” He crack a smiled and lost it.
“And I’m the crazy one.” Nocturne said as he joined in the laughter. After that, it was smooth sailing for the most part. A few big waves, but nothing they couldn’t handle. Every few hours they’d stop and take a break, eat some bananas and split a coconut. At night, Shift would show Nocturne the stars and try to show him the constellations, then they’d take shifts as the other slept.
Once the sun was up they had a breakfast of bananas and coconuts, and the cycle would repeat. Nocturne would also share some of his massive trove of pirate lore, teaching Shift the old songs they would sing while they worked. It went like this for a few days, then one day….
“LAND HO” Nocturne yelled, startling Shift. they both jumped with joy and hugged each other.
“Is it Ponyville?”
“Who cares? It’s land and there’s buildings.” Nocturne said grabbing his paddle and starting to row.
“Hey, I see ponies.” Shift said, turning to grab his paddle. Nocturne started to wave his paddle erratically
“Wave….” Shift said.
“I am.” Nocturne said.
“No. Wave!” Shift said urgently.
“I AM!” Nocturne yelled back. He didn’t know there was a wrong way to wave at things.
“No, that wave.” he said, turning Nocturne’s head. It was huge, at least 100 feet or more in height.
“Paddle for your life!” Nocturne yelled. The wave rocketed them high, and then it seemed to vanish under them. The boat flipped, sending the pair flying into the distance.
“SHIFT!”
“NOCTURNE!”
They yelled as each was sent farther away from the other.
+++ Chapter 8: One is the loneliest number +++
“Ooooww. my brain.” Shift blinked a few times, the sun blinding him. “Not this again…what happened...last thing I remember was…” He bolted upright and looked around. He was alone and in the jungle, the howl of monkeys filling the air.
“Oh, sweet butter biscuits.” he stood up and then dropped to his side. His front right leg hurt something fierce. He figured it must be sprained or broken. Either way, he couldn’t stand on it.
“NOC! WHERE ARE YOU?!” he yelled. But there was no response, save the cacophonic chatter of the jungle. He walked as far as he could manage, and leaned on a fallen tree. He quickly broke off a few branches pulled a few vines down, tying them to his leg. Once it was satisfactory, he stood up and put weight on it, gingerly. It still hurt but it wasn’t as bad.
“Ok, Shift, now what?” he said to himself. He looked over where he had landed and then up at the trees. It was clear that the vines had broken his fall for the most part, and the ground seemed soft and wet.
“Guess I can thank the weather ponies for the rain.” He continue to look up and around, trying to trace the trail of tree based carnage his body had left. “Ok. I must have come from that way..so that mean’s Noc’s that way too.” he said as he traced the path with his eyes. He walked slowly, trying to keep a cool head. Losing his cool would likely injure him more, physically or mentally.
---Meanwhile, a few miles away…---
Nocturne looked up, or what he thought was up, and there was a large pool of mud below. He looked down (or was it up?) at his leg, and it was wrapped in a thick vine. Worse yet, he was spinning, which did his stomach no favors. He looked around for something that could help him get down.
“If only I had something sharp...” he said thinking, back to the dull fishing knife.
-Squawk-
He looked over at the tree he hung from. Sitting on the same branch was Sugar, and she dug into her feathers, then looked back at Nocturne.
“It must be some sight for you, Sugar. A pony in a tree.” He joked. He watched as she pulled a few old feathers out. He crossed his forelegs and looked down at the pool. It wasn’t a far drop, but certainly not painless.
“Hmm, what would Shift do? probably scream for help and then phase through the vine.” He laughed, and he looked back at Sugar. She seemed to be done with her hair cut. Then it dawned on him. If he could get her attention, she could cut the vine. He wiggled his hoof out at her.
“Here Sugar...come to Uncle Nocturne. Come here girl.” She lowered herself on the branch and made herself cozy,then promptly fell asleep.
“Useless hunk of feathers…” Then he realized he was getting mad at a bird. A stupid, weird, bird.
“You’ve really stepped in it this time, Noc.”
As he hung there, he contemplated how he felt about his life. After he had finally decided his best course of action was to try and snap the vine by weight, he started to wiggle like a caterpillar. With each wiggle he grunted, and the vine kept wrapping tighter around his leg. He was seriously letting a plant get the best of him.
“let me out of this bucking tree or I’ll -----”
He didn’t have time to finish his sentence, because the vine snapped audibly, as he hung for a split second before landing with a thick, wet <splat> in the puddle below.
After recovering the breath he’d gotten knocked out of him, he laid there.
“Owww….”
A cheery feminine voice came from somewhere on his left.
“What you see here, guests, is a hobo playing in the mud. Please disregard him and follow the path to our next destination, or we’ll miss the tour bus back to the ferry. Please, hurry now, make sure your children and purses are close at hoof, and step around the dirty pony.”
So, he was in a place loaded with tourists, and nobody thought to wake him or cut him down? Nocturne was flabbergasted and the sheer callousness of these ponies.
Lifting himself out of the puddle and shaking off what he could, he found the path the tourists had taken, and followed a number of steps behind. He didn’t want to be seen by guards or anyone who knew he didn’t belong there. He had to find Shift, but that wasn’t going to be easy, especially if this was one of those places where everyone had a membership card. For now, all he had to do was stay away from public view, at least until he could find a shower and disguise.
(meanwhile)
“BUCK!” Shift yelled as he ran. he jump over fallen logs and grab a vine. He swung over a large ravine and landed on the other side, carefully aiming himself so his good side took the brunt of the impact. He looked back and smiled
“They’ll never make it over that.” He said as a large group of howler monkeys stopped at the edge of the ravine. The enraged howlers yelled and pounded their chests.
“Go suck a banana, ya damn dirty apes!” Shift yelled back and shook his flank in the air at them. They slunk back into the jungle, and seemed to be gone.
“Hmph. I think I made my poi…Oh SWEET BUTTER BISCUITS!” he yelled, as the howlers all began to leap the ravine. he turn and once again he was off. As he ran, they threw large rocks, sticks, and something that looked like mud, but probably wasn't. He jumped over a large fallen tree and stopped inches from a huge cliff. He stuffed himself under the tree and watched as the howlers jumped over and down into the large pool of water below. After the last one had jumped over, he sat there and took a deep breath.
“Why do animals seem to hate me?” he looked around, making sure nothing was waiting to eat his face.
“I really need to stop talking to myself.” He shrugged it off and then looked at the valley below. There was a lot of trees, but they seemed to be a winding path. At the far end he could make out what looked to be a few grass huts.
“Great, another island with savages. God, I hope your having better luck than me, Noc ” he said as he walk over to a large group of vines hanging over the edge. he began to climb down, wishing Noc was there to talk him out of it, or into it, depending on how he felt.
(Meanwhile)
Nocturne had broken into a storage closet and washed up as well as he could, and he was fortunate enough to find a waiter’s outfit. If he could just get through the resort without any of the staff finding out he didn't belong, then he could look for Shift. He smiled, thinking Shift probably was living it up. This was his kind of place, after all. Nocturne finished up, and then the door flew open. There was a blue earth pony in a waistcoat and sporting a thin, pointy moustache.
“There you are!” he yelled, and Nocturne blanked for a second.
“Wait! I’m--”
“I don’t want to hear it! “The gangly Stallion bellowed at him. “You need to get that bottle of 1687 to her ladyship, fast. Don’t make me fire another one of you useless foals!” he said, pointing to a tray with 3 wine glasses and a large, very old bottle of wine.
“And don’t forget to dust it off, buspony.”
“Ah, yes, right. Yes Sir, right away, Sir.” Noc said, grabbing the tray. He smile as he walked past and headed outside. he let out a relieved sigh, which didn’t last long.
“Hey, you, wait!” It was the grumpy stallion again. “Crap, my cover’s blown.” Nocturne thought to himself, readying his good rear hoof with a kick probably strong enough to shatter rocks.
“Her ladyship is that way.” The Head Waiter pointed down a path the opposite way he was heading.
“Right, of course, so sorry, Sir.” Noc said as he hurried down the opulent hallway. As he walked, ponies passed him left and right. They all seemed to be rich and fancy, though he didn’t care for their fashion.
One pony was wearing what looked to be a bright white suit with diamonds inlaid in the fabric. It was bright and made Noc’s head burn. Another was wearing a large red and white hat and had a black and white cat on her back, and next to her was a older mare with a green polka-dot dress with a ruby studded headband upon her coiffure. But the weirdest was the Stallion in a large feathery suit. It was very colorful and had a large purple hat with one long purple feather sewn into the side. He stared at it for a few seconds and then ran into what felt like a wall.
“Oof.” he landed hard on his flank, and he looked up. The tray, glasses and bottle flew into the air, dancing in the brilliant lights. He quickly spun around and with all the grace he could muster, caught the tray with his hind legs, then the bottle, followed by the glasses. He kicked it skyward, and once again caught it in his left front hoof. The crowd clapped and cheered as if he was putting on a show.
“My dear boy, that was amazing. Where did you learn such a skill?” an older pony asked.
“It was nothing.” Nocturne said nonchalantly.
“ ‘Nothing’ he says”. The Stallion chuckled warmly. “My dear colt, you saved a bottle of the finest wine in the world.”
“It’s just grape juice.” Noc said, looking at the bottle. The old pony was still chuckling to himself.
“On my word, that bottle is worth more than you make in 5 years here.” he said, seemingly entertained by the genuinely clueless Stallion before him.
“Really? it’s that good?”
“It’s one of the last great works of John Hairen, a master winemaker and grandfather of the modern vineyard industry.”
Nocturne looked at the bottle and without hesitation, bit the cork and popped it. He spit it aside and took a deep drink, and the crowd gasped in shock. He licked his lips a few times, savoring it.
“Not bad, but I’ve had better. Ever been to Ponyville? They got this Apple Cider that’ll twist you like a spring. Just ask for the hard stuff, and tell them Nocturne sent ya.” He walked off, the old pony just started to laugh and walked behind him, followed by the crowd.
(meanwhile)
Shift had taken some time to camouflage himself, and he smiled. If anyone he knew, besides Noc saw him like this, he’d die. He went full blown jungle pony. He had sharpened a stick into a spear and was ready for anything. He knew the village was just a mile or so off. He needed to get there and then find Noc.
“With his luck, he’s probably hanging over a fire about to be cooked like a turkey” he smiled and then began to slowly make his way through the jungle. It hadn't been an easy walk since he was injured. He didn't want to use the path, especially if the natives were hostile. He didn't need them seeing him.
He moved from tree to tree, stopping every few minutes, or when ever he saw movement on the trail. Within a half hour he had made it to the edge of the village. He looked around, and there seemed to be no sign of life. There was a heavenly smell in the air. He looked around again and saw a large apple over a fire. It was the size of a small filly. He looked left and then right, and there was still no one around. He smiled.
“Lunchtime.” he said, running out, he quickly speared the apple and lifted it over his shoulder.
“HEY WAIT! THIEF!” He didn't have time to look, he bolted and ran into the jungle, and looked back and saw a blue mare with a black mane running behind him. She was wearing some kind of gray tribal getup.
(Meanwhile)
Nocturne had taken another drink of the wine. He had managed to lose the crowd and their incessant cheering. He sat there, his back on a tree just off the path. He had no luck in finding Shift after all. He was sent flying like him and was probably hanging from a vine himself.
“What am I going to do..” he said and took another drink, searching the bottle for an answer again.
“HEY! What do you think you’re doing?” Noc looked over to a blue mare with a black mane. She was wearing a gray guard suit, and looked to be some sort of manager type.
“Just drinking my troubles away” he said taking another long swig.
“So, you’re the colt who stole the bottle of John Hairen.” she said, pulling a nightstick out.
“Oh crap.” He sprung to his hooves and bolted
“Hey, Get back here!” she yelled. He wasn’t listening, and all he needed to do was get out of there, fast. He jumped and dove over and under fallen trees and limbs as he ran, and the security mare was hot on his flank. There was a clearing up ahead, if he could make it there, he could outrun her easily.
(meanwhile)
“GET BACK HERE, THIEF!” Shift jumped over another large log and slid down the back. He still manage to keep the huge apple in one piece. He look back at the tribal mare. her mane was a mess and her muzzle was fixed in a snarl.
“Oh SWEET APPLE TART” he said as she dove down the bank. He quickly turned and ran. dodging low branches and fallen trees. He could see a clearing up a head. If he could make it there, he would drop the apple and make a run for it.
(meanwhile, at a pool party in the resort)
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY” party poppers went flying everywhere. Applejack put her hooves up as streamers showered her.
“Ah shucks, y'all got me good” she said, laughing warmly
“Yeah! it was really hard to convince you that this was an apple growing contest.” Pinkie Pie said, bouncing in circles.
“But it was all worth it in the end, my dear. After all, this is a 5 star resort.” Rarity said, grabbing a drink from the waiter and enjoying herself from her shaded lounge chair.
“Besides, it’s Twilight you should be thanking. If it wasn’t for her, we wouldn’t be here.” Spike said, stuffing two slices of cake in his mouth when Rarity was looking away.
“It was nothing. After all, Princess Celestia and Luna are here as well, and they told me I could come and bring my friends. After all, everypony needs a break from time to time.”
“I hear that. CANNONBALL!” Rainbow Dash yelled from the high dive, and when she landed, the water splashed everywhere, and Fluttershy jumped behind Twilight, using her as a shield.
“Sorry...” she blushed, popping her head out from behind a waterlogged Twilight. Twilight cast a drying spell, her mane returning back to normal and then popping out like a 80’s prom queen. They all burst into laughter.
“Come on, blow out the candles and make a wish.” Pinkie said, holding a lit birthday cake up to Applejack.
“But ya know what?” Applejack said.
“What?” Pinkie asked.
“I really wish it was an apple growing contest.” she said blowing out the candles. just then a large red apple flew out of no where and landed in the pool next to Rainbow Dash.
“Wow! that apple’s huge!! Ooh, ooh, wish for something else!” Pinkie said excitedly
“Like what?” AJ was still surprised by the sudden applebomb.
“Oh, I know! How about a bottle of John Hairon 1687. It’s very rare and only a few bottles are left.” Rarity said. Just then a bottle of wine flew through the air and landed next to her glass, falling over and pouring itself into her glass.
“I wish I had a million gems.” Spike said, spreading his arms out wide in drooling expectation.
“Spike, that’s not going to work. Besides, something’s odd here.” Twilight said.
“I’ll say. There’s no cheese plate.” Rarity said, taking a drink of wine. Just then two ponies burst from each side of the pool area. They jumped over chairs and tables, then slammed into each other, right in front of Applejack. She looked down at the stunned pair.
“Are you boys ok?” They both looked up at her and yelled, in sync.
“YOU!”
++++++ Prologue ++++++
Sweet Apple Acres was in full bloom. It was the first annual cider drinking contest. The Apples had started it after they had beaten Flim and Flam, and their newfangled cider machine. There was fun and games, and more importantly, a cider drinking contest.
Shift didn’t need to win, but he had his pride as one of the top drinkers in all of Equestria, and this was just another chance to show off to all the pretty Mares and jealous Stallions. When he entered the barn there was a long table with classic metal bar stools lining it. A pink pony in a black and white ref’s jersey was at the end in a tall chair, much like the ones they used for tennis.
“Alright everypony, listen up. The rules are simple. each round, you’ll be given a pint of hard cider. You must drink the mug without spilling a drop, and you must drink it all. Failure to do this means you’re out like trout.” The loud Pink Pony paused for a moment to be sure she was heard, then continued.
“The rounds will continue until one pony is left, or we run out of cider. But that’s not going to happen.” She yelled over the megaphone. Shift look around. he saw the normal crew of drinking ponies. There was the “Shetland Shooters”, foul mouthed as usual, wearing their matching green kilts and sporting mutton chops
“Ach, lads, we got this on in the feedbag!” One cried out, followed by cheers. Then there was the Trottingham team. The “Hackney Hops” as they called themselves. They were from overseas and were wearing matching scarves of their country flag.
“After we wipe the floor with these ruffians, we can all go for a spot of tea.” one said, and the rest nodded in agreement. Shift rolled his eyes at them.
Then there was a large group of college ponies, aka “The Frat House.” They were well known in the next town over as troublemakers and generally loud and obnoxious. “Beta Kappa Phi” or something like that. They were cheering and yelling at each other, making a lot of noise and a lot of nonsense, easily the loudest in the barn. Shift snorted, wondering how they ever managed to find their way out of their front door, much less this far from home.
He took his seat on the stool near the head of the table, as an honored guest, it was only natural he be seated far away from the rest of the ilk. A brown mare in a cowboy hat took a seat across the table from him. He smiled to her, and she tilted her hat to him.
“This seat taken?” he looked to his left as a Midnight Blue Earth pony sat down. He had a lime green mane, that was rather untidy, but he was still cleaner cut than most of the others assembled. He smiled and nodded to the stool. He seemed normal enough.
“Ach, fair lass, this is a drinking contest, not a pretty pony pageant. This be no place for a delicate flower like yerself” said one of the Shetland Shooters. Shift remembered him, his name was Sage, he was a rocker. He smiled. “Now, the waiting game” Shift thought to himself.
“Then, I reckon you have nothing to worry about. besides, I can’t really hold my cider anyway.” She smiled innocently.
“Ok, everypony!” the Pink Pony yelled. “Contestants to your tankards!” Mugs of cider landed in front of them. “Get set!” everyone grabbed their mugs. “GO!” Shift put the pint to his lips and tipped his head back, opening his throat, and down the cider went. It was nice and smooth, and went down as easily as water. It was nothing like the beer or whisky that he was used to drinking. It was more like a brandy. He finished his pint and set it upside down on the table.
“ Ahh..now that hit the spot.” he said with a smile. The mare across the table had just set hers down. He look down the table. The colt next to him had finished his, as did the rest of the table. He smiled. The first round was just to get a taste of what was to come.
“Alright, Round 2” the pink pony yelled. Yet again, the pints landed in front of them. The ref yelled for them to go and once again, Shift had finished off his pint.
“Now that’s the good stuff.” the colt next to him said.
“Aye lad. But I think our little flower over here may have had one too many” Sage joked. She shot him a look across the table, and Shift smiled. This was normal trash talk. By the time they had a few more drinks, they’d all be buddies. The mugs floated off the table once again. He looked back and saw a few unicorns moving the old mugs to a sink and moving fresh ones to the table.
“Smart.” He said to himself.
“What was that, friend?” He looked over to the colt to the right of him.
“Oh, nothing. I was just saying how smart it was to use unicorns to keep the cider flowing. It’d be a problem if a pegasus or Earth Pony was placing the ale down. They may spill it or knock it over on someone.” He said with a smile, as his new pint landed. Once again the pink pony yelled “DRINK” and they were off again. He downed it and then wiped his mouth.
“You have something against Earth ponies, mate?” the colt asked.
“No, not at all. I was just saying that it keeps things simple and efficient. Whoever came up with that idea should be given a great deal of credit.” He said as the mug once again flew off the table and a new one landed.
“DRINK!” The pink pony yell again. He began to down another pint. He was halfway when he heard a loud crash. After finishing, he wiped his mouth and looked up and down the table. a large group of ponies had fallen off their stools. Cider covered the table and the floor. He smile. “There go the lightweights.” he thought to himself.
“Are you ok?” the pink pony yelled.
“uuuuuuuggggg.” A few of them moaned and waved their hooves.
“Ok then, you’re all out.” she said. The losers were helped up and lead outside to waiting carriages or loved ones. Didn’t need somepony ending up face down in a puddle of their own spew somewhere.
“Righty-O, new round.” The ref said, gesturing to the waiting attendants. The mugs flew up and new mugs landed in front of them. Shift cracked his neck and looked at those who remained. The mare across the table looked tipsy. The colt next to him was smiling and seemed fine. Sage was looking a little greener than normal. He had lost a few of his group as did the others, but at least half remained.
“Right, let’s get this party going again!” The pink pony yelled. She blew a party favor, and as It unrolled, the word “drink” popped out. Shift did as it said. He downed his next pint and set it upside down, once again. He started to feel the familiar tingle of a good buzz, but he was far from done. He had once drank down a whole 2 kegs of beer, three gallons of moonshine at 80 proof, and then finished the night off with a mare named Brandy.
With a loud, stinking burp, Sage spoke up once again. “I think the little lass just about had it.” He looked over to her, and she was wobbling.
Shift smiled and looked over at the Shooter. He was rocking back and forth. He look over to the colt to his right. He seemed to be enjoying himself and was even singing a drinking song. The next round landed on the table with a synchronised thud. There were still about 3/4 of the contestants left.
“GO!” he drank his cider slower this time. He wanted to hear it. That sweet sound he’d been waiting for.
-CRASH- he finished and set his mug down once again upside down, but this time he turned and faced Sage. He lay there on the ground, cider covering him from head to hoof.
“If the stool’s a rockin, don’t come a knockin’ ” He laughed. Sage blinked a few times in disbelief. Shift turn back to the table and looked across.
“Wheeeeee” The mare was spinning in her stool. He smiled. Time after time he had seen fools rocking their stools. Problem was, a stool is taller than most chairs, and therefore top heavy. But spinning on a stool was fine, seeing as they were made to Spin.
“You’re outta here!” The pink pony pointed to Sage. He staggered off, grumbling under his breath. Shift looked down the table. Sage wasn’t the only one. They were now down to half of what they had started with. Once again the mugs flew away and new ones replaced the old.
“GO!”this time an air horn going off. he once again he drank down the cider slowly. once empty he set it down and let out a loud burp.
“Nice one.” The colt to his right said, putting his hoof up. Shift tapped it. Normally he didn’t partake in such revelry, but he was actually enjoying himself. He looked over at the mare across the table. She was plastered, but she was still standing. Well, sitting anyway.
“You know… <Hic>... your amazing. Just simply amazing <Hic> at this.” She said, slurring. He smiled. “Won’t be long now” he figured. He looked to the right. The colt next to him seemed to be fine, but he seemed to be leaning closer to the table each round. Smart. He wouldn’t bust his skull by falling backwards, and should he puke, it wouldn’t choke him. He was the real contestant to beat. The mugs flew away again.
<<a few rounds later>>
Shift was beginning feel the booze. There were six ponies left, besides himself. The mare, The colt to his right, one of the Hackney Hops, one of sage’s boys, and 2 of the frat ponies. The mare was beyond gone. How she was still awake was beyond him. The colt to his right was almost gone. He was beginning to show signs of passing out.
The Hackney colt was shaking and looked very green. Sage’s boys just sat there with a straight face, his mug in hoof. The 2 frats had stopped shouting and were looking down into the brown drink they all enjoyed hours before hand. That’s how drinking games went. They all seem like fun at first, and then they suck the life out of you.
“Okie-dokie-loki. There’s seven of you left….” then sage’s boy fell forward and passed out over the table.
“Right, six of you left. time for the finals.” she said.
“Drink!” she yelled. As Shift drank, he could feel his brain slowly turning to oatmeal. He finished it and turned his mug upside down. He was the first to finish. He watch as the mare downed hers. Her face had a large red blush across it, and she was still smiling.
“No way I’m going to lose to her...” He look down to the frat boys. They had finished half of their respective mugs, and pass out at the same time, slamming both their heads together and remained there, The cider spilling across the table. The colt to his right mentioned something about “had to hurt” and laughed. The Hackney Hops colt finished, but he didn’t look well. However the blue colt’s mug was shaking as he finished. Looked like he’d just about had it, too, but Shift gave him due respect. That mare was another story, though. Shift figured that the mare would go maybe 2 or 3 more drinks. The other two were good for 1 or 2 before they dropped, he could feel it. Himself, could maybe hold 2 more and choke down any after that.
“That brings us down to 4….” The Hackney Hops colt fell backward and landed in his teammates’ arms. “Ya done good, boyo, ya done good.” they told him, as he was dragged away.
“Then we’re down to our final 3. Let’s give these ponies the top shelf treatment!!.” The Ref gestured for more to be brought forward. Shift watched as a large red pony walked out with a huge barrel. It had a large combination lock on it. The red one put his ear to the barrel and turned the lock. After a few seconds, he opened it. The top of the barrel opened and inside was a tiny clone of the same barrel. He picked it up gingerly, and poured it into each mug. A fog seemed to roll off it. Shift looked to him.
“This is the high proof stuff, innit?”
“Eeyup.” Shift looked over to the Mare. She smelled the top of the mug and smiled. The colt to the right of him was grinning madly. He was either terrified or ecstatic that it was the strong stuff.
Shift readied himself.
“OK! DRINK!” Shift grabbed the mug. “Slow and steady, like granpappy taught ya.” He thought to himself. The faster you drink, the more alcohol in your system. He could feel himself losing it as he slowly continued drinking. He heard a mug clack onto the table, then another. He looked in the cup, and it was spinning. He quickly finish it and set it down. He rested his head on the side of the cup. The cold felt nice. The colt next to him was laughing. He looked over to the mare. She was on the ground, her hooves in the air, one still twitching.
“AND THEN THERE WAS TWO!” the pink mare yelled. He looked over to her. A very old, green pony was whispering in her ear.
“What do you mean we’re out of cider?!?!” she yelled as she crossed her arms.
“I guess it’s a tie. congratulations, you both win.” She said. Shift looked over to the colt.
“Woooo, we won man!” he yelled, then fell off his stool. “What’d we win?” He called from the floor.
“A beat up old rowboat.” The Pink Ref brought it out. It was on an old 4 wheeled wagon, like you'd see in Appleoosa and similar places. Inside was some old fishing gear, rope, and a few other things. He smiled
“I’ll take it.” Shift said, jumping down. He wobbled over and strapped the harness to himself.
“Well you both won. So here.” the Ref said, helping the blue colt into the boat. “I don’t think this one can walk.”
“No worries, ma’am. I’lll take him H-H-home.” Shift said as the alcohol took full effect.
“Okey-Dokie-Lokie. Get home safe.” She waved as they walked out of the barn.
“Granny, was that really your only prize?” Pinkie asked Granny Smith.
“It was that, or a date with me. And did you see those two?” she shivered.
<A few minutes later, on “Old Harbor Road”>>
“Hey taxi driver, Where’s my bread? I want my bread.” the colt yelled
“I got an apple...<<Hick>>... “how 'bout this apple?” Shift said slowly. The words didn't want to fit in his mouth.
“Oh wow, that’s the best gift anyone ever gave me! sure, buddy.” He said. “but how...how d-d-do... I get it? your way u-u-p...there and I’m wayyy back here.” The blue colt said, gesturing comically
“Oh man, you’re right. Wait I gots a plan.” Shift said, trying to keep his balance. “I’ll just come back there and give it to ya.”
“Oh, that’d be great….” The colt belched loudly, and it sounded like it hurt.
Shift unstrapped himself staggered to the back of the wagon-boat, almost falling down the bank. “Hurr I come.” He jumped onto the back, his legs kicking as he struggled to get in.
“Here, let me help yaaa...” the colt grabbed him and pulled him in. The cart shifted forward.
“Thanks pal.”
“No problem. But why are you here?”
“I don’t know.” Shift said cocking his head.
(meanwhile at the bottom of the hill)
Discord was taking a walk. He had been having this feeling that something chaotic was going to happen all day, and if he didn’t find it, he couldn’t sleep.
“Now where could it be?” his ears perked up. “What’s that sound?” he put his ear to the side of a door he made appear. The door slammed down on top of him. He opened it and brushed himself off.
“That was the sound of two ponies in one boat, rolling down the hill.” he said cracking his nose back to normal.
He watched as the boat continued bouncing down the path. The Brown Unicorn was holding on to the Blue Earth Pony’s mane.
“WHOOOOO!!” The brown one seemed to be having the time of his life. The blue one, not so much.
“Get off me you fool!” the blue one yelled. The cart slammed into a stone wall, and the boat flew forward, taking the pair of ponies with it. It skipped a few times and then vanished into the night.
“Oh, I really should do something. I am, after all, reformed.” He said, donning a sailor outfit. “But then again, it has nothing to do with friendship. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?” he laughed as he vanished.
++++++ Epilogue++++++
Shift looked around and smiled, Nocturne at his side. “Home sweet home. Hard to believe how long we were gone. To think, that little library pony’s a Princess now.” Shift said as they waved good bye to the girls.
“Yeh, and look at the new castle.” Nocturne pointed, and Shift whistled at it. “Now that’s some fancy digs. We were lucky she listened to our story.” Nocturne said.
“Or else we’d still be running for our lives.” Shift said, Nocturne joining him in a chuckle.
“So now what?” Nocturne asked. Shift put his hoof to his chin.
“I guess we go back to our normal lives. I go back to making my parents question my every action, and you go back to doing whatever it is you do.” Shift suggested.
“Well, if you think that’s best.” Nocturne said, looking saddened. Shift put him in a headlock. “No worries. We’re still brothers and nothing can break us apart.”
Just then, Rarity walked past and slid her tail under both their chins. “See you later, boys.” As she walked past, She tipped them a sultry wink
“DIBS!” they both called out at the same time and then looked to each other.