Into the Dark Heart of Canterhorn Mountain
After a brief period of rest, Fogwalker shook Sunrise Surprise awake none too gently. The unicorn whimpered and tried to roll over, but was shaken even harder by the pegasus, who had no sympathy for sleepy unicorns. Nearby, Garlic watched the scene with some mild amusement. The group was tucked away in a small nook off of the main cave path and a single candle burned, which also happened to be the means to tell the time.
“But we’ve barely had any sleep at all,” Sunrise whined.
“Garlic and I both stood watch for two hours each and each of us got two hours of sleep. You got four hours of sleep. We’re not being sent on a mission to sleep, we are being sent out to get results, now move,” Fogwalker demanded, poking and prodding the unicorn on the stone floor.
“Actually, I think you woke me early,” Garlic teased. “There’s no way I got my full two hours,” he quipped, trying to provoke a response from Fogwalker.
Turning around, Fogwalker glared daggers at her friend and her lip curled back into a sneer. “Funny… you shouldn’t provoke the pony who watches you sleep while you are in a cave full of stars know what.”
“But I thought you loved me Foggy,” Garlic said in a voice dripping with sarcasm. “You wouldn’t dare let anything happen to me… you want to have my long legged little foals someday. You want me huffing and puffing and hunched acrossed your back far too much to let something hurt me in my sleep.”
“Something I am right now reconsidering,” Fogwalker grumbled as she glared at Garlic, her ears slowly folding back against her skull as her tail swished in annoyance.
The words coming out of Garlic’s mouth caused poor Sunrise Surprise to experience her first ever full body blush and she felt a rush of heat from her snoot to her dock. Her ears felt as though they would burst into flames at any moment and she thought she might faint as her ears began to ring and tingle.
“I’ve never slept in armor before,” Garlic remarked, ignoring one angry mare and one somewhat flustered filly that was almost a mare. “I really don’t know what ponies complain about, I hear all of this fussing that armor is heavy and uncomfortable. I barely even notice what I’m wearing.”
“You’re wearing almost one hundred pounds of armor you nitwit, how can you say you don’t notice it?” Fogwalker questioned, her anger now forgotten, her ears perking forward as her eyebrow raised.
“I’ve been loaded down with over two hundred pounds of gear to carry to market, mostly onions for my dear sweet mother… and that didn’t slow me down much either,” Garlic responded, shrugging and causing his armor to clink.
“Earth ponies. Harrumph!” Fogwalker exclaimed, her face one of stunned disbelief. “I’m wearing about fifty pounds of light plate and I feel every bit of it.”
“Plus he is carrying most of the supplies,” Sunrise remarked, trying to have some say in her companion’s conversation, wanting very much to have them as friends… and protectors. It was dark and the cave smelled funny.
Garlic shuddered. “Thuppthlies…” Somehow, the nasal lisp was even worse when Sunrise Surprise had just woken up. He looked at his companions and then at the cave path they had to travel. “We should get moving.”
For a while, the cave had gone downhill and they had found old rotten wooden support beams holding up the passage. The path had been partially obstructed by a rockslide, and they had to carefully pick their way over a bunch of loose stones, mindful to not twist a fetlock or cause injury.
Now, the passage was definitely uphill, and steep as well. Garlic didn’t seem slowed down in the slightest, but Fogwalker was grunting occasionally as she made her way up the cave path while poor Sunrise, who was safely secured between Garlic and Fogwalker, panted and heaved with every step she took, and her entire pelt was soaked with sweat, some of which dripped or ran down her legs in rivulets.
A weak light that came from Sunrise’s horn was all the companions had for light, and Garlic held an unspoken admiration for Sunrise. He had only known a few unicorns, but most had trouble keeping any kind of sustained spell going during any sort of physical effort or exertion. Sunrise Surprise was clearly straining, both to keep going up hill and to keep her spell going, the light flickered and threatened to die out with almost every step, but somehow, Sunrise persisted and endured, which was something that Garlic appreciated in another pony.
“There is something up ahead,” Garlic warned in a low whisper, casting a glance backward over his shoulder at his companions as he spoke. “Stay here.”
Fearless, Garlic made his way forward. The cave became very narrow here, the walls, ceiling, and floor all coming to one small opening. They had crawled through several such places already as they made their way up the long path.
Whatever it was, it was hairy and something that looked like a snake was growing out of it. Garlic approached slowly, realising all to well that the passage was too narrow to whip around and kick whatever it was. Thankfully, it didn’t seem to be moving. In the darkness, something squeaked.
“Halloo?”
Freezing in place, Garlic wasn’t sure what to do about the muffled voice.
“Um… I seem to be stuck. I was wondering if you might help me.”
There was a sudden startling realisation that what Garlic was looking was the backside of a giant rat, which was wedged tightly into the narrow passage ahead. A really big giant rat. A really really big giant rat. And it had just spoken to him.
“This is really rather embarrassing really,” the rat said.
“You’re a very big rat,” Garlic announced as he once again turned around to glance at his companions behind him. He turned his head back around to look at the enormous tail once again and the furry backside. “We’re going to need to take one of those side passages we passed earlier and hope it leads somewhere.”
“Wait… no! You can’t just leave me here,” the rat pleaded.
“Any rat of your size probably eats ponies,” Garlic accused in a harsh voice. “And while I’m a lot of things, my mama, Red Onion Pie, she didn’t raise no fool.”
“I would never eat a pony… I eat goblins… just goblins. And the occasional giant cave spider,” the rat replied, his voice pleading.
“Goblins are disgusting horrid little creatures,” Garlic growled, his eyes narrowing.
“But they taste delicious,” the rat answered. “All that snot is salty and quite pleasant really… it is how I got so fat… eating goblins. Look, I give you my word that I will not bring harm to you if you free me… I’ll do anything if you can just shove me through or give me a push. I can’t get my hind feet to get enough traction.”
Gagging, Sunrise Surprise covered her mouth with her hoof when the rat mentioned delicious salty snot. The unicorn was quite horrified, giant rats were awful enough, but giant rats that ate goblins in snot sauce were somehow even worse.
“Are there goblins up ahead?” Garlic asked in a low curious voice.
“There is a whole city up ahead… but if you help me, I will show you a side path that goes around them and leads to the crossroads,” the rat offered.
“The crossroads?” Garlic inquired gruffly.
“The crossroads. The major intersection in these caves. Below is the lower networks and warrens, and above is the spider realm,” the rat answered, trying anything to be helpful.
“What is your name?” Garlic demanded.
“My name is Sog Nasty,” the rat squeaked.
“My name is Garlic. Against my better judgment, I am going to free you. But if you try any funny business, there is a unicorn with me that will kill you in a thousand different horrible ways, all of which are beyond your imagination.”
“Getting a quest from a giant rat… who has heard of such a thing, this whole adventure is becoming quite silly,” Fogwalker grumbled in a petulant voice.
“I’ve never heard of a talking rat,” Sunrise said in a worried voice. “Talking rats aren’t natural and there are no known talking rat species.”
“Funny story that,” Sog replied, unaware that Garlic was studying his backside and trying to figure out what to do. “I have some trouble remembering, but I wasn’t always smart… there was a unicorn… he did something to me. He was grey. That’s all I remember. He made me drink something and then he cast a spell or something. My memory is really hazy. I used to live in a city called… well, something.”
“Canterlot?” Fogwalker suggested.
“I think that’s it,” Sog answered. “I used to live in a big city and the grey unicorn kept me as a pet. I got big and I got smart. I escaped. I went into the tunnels under the city and I kept getting bigger and smarter. Eventually, I made my way down here.”
Placing his front hooves on each side of the rat’s big fuzzy behind, Garlic felt around for the solid hip bones, pressed in, and then braced his hind legs behind him. He dug into a crack in the stone and heaved, pushing forward and hoping not to injure Sog Nasty.
“Oh my!” Sog exclaimed as he felt himself being given a powerful shove forward.
A moment later, the giant rat popped free like a cork, shooting forward into the passage ahead, which was much wider and open. Garlic regained his hoofing before falling on his face and peered ahead, trying to see what the passage was like, and keeping an eye on the rat, who was turning around.
“Many thanks to you my friend… I am at your service,” Sog offered, his face contorting into a very ratty looking smile that showed his buck teeth.
“Think nothing of it,” Garlic said as he watched the rat warily.
“I need to stop eating so much,” Sog sighed wearily. “I’m incredibly fat. But there are so many goblins and so little time.”
Shuddering, Sunrise Surprise had trouble with how the rat spoke so glibly about eating goblins. Sure, goblins were horrid misshapen monsters, but eating them… eating them was unthinkable.
“There is a goblin city?” Fogwalker inquired in a worried voice.
“Yes, yes there is,” Sog replied, nodding his head enthusiastically. “I dunno how many, but there are a lot of them living there. Led by an ogre.”
“We’ll need to tell Princess Celestia about that,” Fogwalker stated in a weary voice.
“We should keep moving,” Garlic commanded, focusing his stare upon the rat.
“A promise is a promise… come, I’ll take you to the crossroads. It isn’t that far. It won’t take long,” the rat said, following through with his promise.
“Are you really thinking about going with him?” Fogwalker asked, looking at Garlic.
“Why not? What’s adventure with out a giant rat being encountered?” Garlic questioned, his sardonic wit evident as he spoke. Garlic grinned and looked at the rat. “Besides. He seems harmless enough.”
“You are very kind… we should be going,” Sog Nasty said as he scurried up the tunnel, carefully stepping over bits of rubble and loose stone, his long pink tail twitching as he scampered away.
“We’re following a giant rodent,” Sunrise Surprise muttered.
“Hey, don’t call Garlic a rodent. I mean, sure, he’s a giant, and he fights dirty, no doubt about that at all, but-”
“Foggy, you’re funny, you know that? But looks ain’t everything,” Garlic said, interrupting Fogwalker mid-sentence.
“Oh ha ha!” Fogwalker sneered, narrowing her eyes at Garlic’s backside as he followed after the giant rat. “Get moving Sunrise, we have a long way to go.”
The crossroads were aptly named. The old map they were trying to follow hadn’t been updated in a long time, and the crossroads, which had more recent excavations, wasn’t even on the map. Five pathways met up in a large egg shaped chamber, which thankfully, was currently unoccupied. Three chambers led downwards, further and deeper into the very heart of the mountain, and two chambers led upwards, which would bring them closer to their destination, but also into the spider’s gallery.
Their guide scurried away down the middle tunnel of the three passages heading downwards, leaving the companions all alone in the crossroads with no idea of which path to take, which was a bit of a worrisome development.
“Right or left?” Fogwalker questioned, looking at both tunnels.
“Might have to take both. We don’t know that either will reach Canterlot,” Garlic mused, shaking his head with annoyance. “Did you hear that?” he asked, his ears perking.
The companions all fell silent and Fogwalker protectively pressed herself up against Sunrise Surprise, whose light spell flickered as fear began to overcome her. Orange light was visible in one of the tunnels leading downward, the far left one. Voices could be heard. Something was shouting at something else.
Garlic began to move, he was surprisingly silent for such a big creature wearing armor. Each movement was careful, cautious, and he tried to keep his armor from clanking. He moved along the wall, to the edge of the of the leftmost passage, hoping to catch whatever it was by surprise and they stepped out. He gave a nod to Fogwalker, and in reply, Fogwalker tossed her head, allowing her slitted visor on her helmet to drop and cover her eyes.
Two goblins stepped into view and Garlic was on them in a moment, launching a surprise attack. He reared up and smashed his front hooves down on the one nearest to him, crushing the creature’s skull and dropping him to the stone. The torch he was holding fell to the stone and clattered, causing the shadows and light to dance crazily in the cavern.
The second goblin pulled out a pickaxe and swung wildly at Garlic, the small hideous creature screaming out in panic and fear. Garlic, surprisingly quick on his feet for a pony his size, sidestepped the wild swing and suffered only a glancing blow on his front shoulder, which smacked off of a steel plate.
Angered, Garlic smashed his own head down on the goblin’s head, pulverising the goblin’s skull. The creature fell down beside his companion and Garlic stepped away from the two corpses, growling ferociously as he did so.
The goblins were horrid little monsters, putrid, feculent, smelly, covered in shiny mucus, and the creatures looked like an odd cross between a dog, a pig, and some kind of monkey. Their arms were longer than their legs, they had big knobby joints, and their limbs were twisted and misshapen.
“You killed them,” Sunrise whispered in a frightened voice. “I’ve never seen anything die before,” she added, her confession emotional and fearful.
“Nice work Garlic,” Fogwalker praised, looking at the hideous creatures. “Ambush attack. Combat Master Cloudflare would approve methinks.”
“Sunrise, grab this torch and hold it in your magic. It should burn for a good long while,” Garlic instructed as he reached up and rubbed his head. He scowled as he rubbed his aching head. “You two did a good job as bait. And thank you Sunrise, for not screaming.”
“I was too scared to scream,” Sunrise murmured fearfully.
“Well good, because a good scream might call down hundreds of these to come and attack us,” Fogwalker stated, gently patting Sunrise with her wing.
Doing as she was told, Sunrise lifted the fallen torch in her magic, holding it aloft. It gave off a soft orange light, lighting the cavern and illuminating the scene of extreme violence that had taken place. Trembling, fearful, Sunrise couldn’t help but notice that the first goblin’s head had cracked open like an egg, and try as she might, she could not stop thinking about what the goblins might have done if they had captured her. Sunrise was all too aware that she was a little chubby, and pudgy ponies were probably tasty and delicious. She had also heard stories of other things goblins did before they ate ponies. She shuddered in revulsion from the thought.
“I don’t want to die a virgin!” Sunrise Surprise blurted out. “But I don’t want it taken from me by goblins either… I’m scared,” she whimpered as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
“Oh bother,” Fogwalker grumbled, shaking her head and rolling her eyes at Sunrise Surprise’s outburst. “Some of the things that come out of a pony’s mouth when they’re scared.”
“It’s gonna be okay,” Garlic said, trying to reassure the terrified unicorn.
“Yeah, maybe if you ask Garlic real sweetly, he’ll fix that virgin problem for you,” Fogwalker quipped, a smirk spreading over half of her muzzle.
“You know Foggy, last I checked, you’re still untouched,” Garlic said, glowering at Fogwalker.
“Hey! Shut up Stinky!” Fogwalker snapped, her ears splaying out sideways. “I’m saving it for you, you unappreciative sod hauler!”
“You mean I’m not the only virgin?” Sunrise questioned. “Oh that’s a relief,” she huffed as she pushed her glasses up on her nasal bridge with her hoof.
“Nope, just you and Foggy,” Garlic replied, grinning a wicked grin.
“Garlic?” Fogwalker asked, sounding hurt and confused.
“What?” Garlic responded, still grinning.
“Since when have you… you know… done something?” Fogwalker inquired, sounding more than a little disappointed.
“None of your business,” Garlic grumbled, turning away from Fogwalker. “We need to get moving, now. I guess we’ll go right.” The big earth pony, saying nothing else, immediately began to head towards the right passage, his ears perking forward to listen carefully for the sounds of coming danger.
“I thought you’d be mine, Stinky,” Fogwalker breathed in a low whisper as she gave Sunrise a nudge to get the unicorn moving. Glad that her visor was down, her helmet prevented anypony from seeing the tear that slid down her cheek.