//------------------------------// // Sneaking Suspicions // Story: TMPDA: Last One In The Nest // by Myriad of Failure //------------------------------// "Excuse me, Princess of Ponies; I have an urgent matter which must be seen to." Magma, when out of his boiling pool, was a large dragon. Really, I should have used the word massive or enormous - however, they would have made him sound fat, which he certainly wasn't. Inevitably, at that scale, he lumbered rather than walked, and the ground shook when he moved and spoke - but he still wasn't fat. It wasn't exactly muscle that made him so big either... so I settled on the theory that dragons were made great by power rather than food. What I'm trying to explain is that this dragon king was imposing. Despite this, Princess Twilight Sparkle decided to fly up to his eye-level as he was turning away. Obediently, though obviously shaking, Cloud Drift followed her upwards - leaving Iron Discipline to remain on the floor, shuffling nervously. He was probably hoping that he wouldn't be trodden on. "Please, Lord Magma," Twilight petitioned, "I think that we may be able to help you!" "This is a matter for dragons." Magma replied, remaining polite while hiding the strain in his voice. "Your... cooperation will be required; nevertheless, we have this under control." "I understand what has happened," she continued, either not taking the hints or ignoring them, "and I know that we must be your suspects - but we want to help. The bat pony, Nocturne, is a trained detective - she could really help you!" "Now... I wouldn't exactly say I was a trained detective..." I spoke up as Spike and I drew close. The great king regarded the princess before turning his gaze downwards. Slowly, his white eyes blinked. He hadn't gotten this far by ignoring opportunities. "Search of Equus." He commanded; two nearby dragons flew off. I just hoped that the other ponies didn't protest. Spike raised an eyebrow while Junior Captain Discipline demanded to know what had been said. "He's asked them to search our things," I muttered quietly, keeping an eye on Magma, "hopefully, when they see we don't have it they'll believe us." Before waiting for his minions to return, Magma turned to the Princess again, asking, "Last night, where was the Princess of Ponies?" "I was in my tent, sleeping." She replied evenly. "I was sharing with my friend Fluttershy. Neither of us got up during the night, though we were kept awake by the sound of Spike snoring - so I'm certain he didn't get up either." Spike blushed next to me, keeping quiet. It was at least an alibi - however flimsy. "And, pony guard, where where you?" He addressed Cloud Drift, keeping his face neutral. "I was sharing a tent with my fellow guard; Iron Discipline. We played cards until midnight before both going to sleep." Now the great drake looked at me. "You know what I am asking of you, Thestral." "I..." I paused - the truth made me sound guilty, while lying to them would be worse! "I... er - I was walking around the plateau alone at about midnight. I heard the two guards in their tent - but I doubt they heard me. Um... I went to bed sometime later - after being attacked on my walk." Understandably, Magma glowered at me. "Truth, Thestral?" I nodded weakly. "Eyes do not see." He warned. "Eyes see shame." How, in the name of the glorified Moon Goddess, could I prove this? I was the detective, for stars' sake - I wasn't trained to defend my own innocence! Not that a situation like this hadn't happened before - it was just that I could easily find the flaws in being accused of murder. Nevertheless, now - now I'd had every opportunity! I would have been seen near the nests the day before, I was a friend of the horde - so having overestimated their trust, I was out at night wandering around suspiciously, stealing eggs and assuming I'd get away with it. My brain sparked. "Eyes do not see." I pointed a hoof to my squinting eye, then down to the hoof marks on my chest. "Not of dragon; pains of Equus." Magma considered this before lowering himself, his broad neck lying parallel to the stone as he observed me carefully. The alicorn and her pegasus meat-shield lowered themselves to the ground as well. Anxiously, I awaited a verdict. "I am satisfied, Thestral-friend." He raised himself back onto his hind-legs. I released a shaky breath. "Now, tell me of the attack." "Well," I started, rubbing a hoof through my mane, "I was walking around - I couldn't sleep, you see - and I came to the rock pillars near the nests when I heard this scuffling noise..." I hesitated - I didn't really want to admit to how badly I'd been beaten up. "I called out, thinking that somepony was there - and then they jumped on me. After a quick brawl they knocked me back and flew away!" I resisted adding the word 'coward'. "You suspect that this is the thief?" I nodded. "Then all we know is that the intruder had wings..." "I know that they were feathery wings," I added, "if that helps...?" When Iron Discipline gave me an incredulous look I hissed, "They make a different sound." And, yes, I did say this to confuse him. Feathery wings technically do make a different sound - very slightly - then again, why rely on that when you could see the outline or feel the feathers? "That still leaves many possibilities..." Magma growled into a clawed fist. "King of Ruby Horde," an approaching dragon announced, "Equus be true - eyes do not see." The orange dragon landed, her stumpy knuckles scraping across the rocks. Her partner landed beside her. Magma glanced down for a second, as if distracted. The ponies around me heaved visible sighs of relief, but I felt my stomach clench a little tighter. A stupid thief would hide the egg where they were staying - not finding it meant very little. On the other hoof, not finding it could mean an awful lot. While the summit was in a pretty deserted corner of wasteland, that didn't make it hidden. A travelling horde of dragons could easily be seen, and an eager pony might see it as their chance to make a few more bits. It didn't even have to be a pony - griffons lived in Equestria too. No - not a griffon. I raised a hoof to my chest - those bruised were caused by hooves, not paws. If they were, there would have been hefty gashes instead of discoloured swelling. "Speak of mind, Thestral," Magma commanded, "Speak of matter." "Well... um..." I scuffed the ground, feeling the eyes settle on me. "Cannot be known, King of Ruby Horde." I explained, reverting back to Equestrian for the benefit of our audience, "We don't know enough - seeing the nest would help, but everything is still down to guesswork, really." He grunted, "What of treaty?" Unlike me, he clearly wanted this to remain a discussion within the horde. Understandably; he might have decided to end diplomacy, or declare that the ponies can't be trusted, or take us hostage until the egg was returned... I hoped that the last option was an unlikely outcome. Although, at least I would have gotten a longer vacation... Shaking my head to clear it of craziness, I took in the reality of the situation. A dragon king had asked me for advice - diplomatic advice. This was why I had been sent here, however much I wanted it to be a holiday. Nopony else would do this - nopony else could. Warily, I said, "Treaty continues - Equus of service now; tomorrow sees not." Then, so the Equestrians knew I was doing my job properly (and so Magma couldn't back out of my proposal) I added, "We came together to form an alliance; of trust, reliance, and unity; and I think I speak for the ponies here by saying that we want to help you - not out of pity, but as an act of friendship." Finishing, I controlled my gag reflex and considered how much like Twilight I was sounding. If this worked, I needed apologise to her as well, for dismissing her team building exercises. However, she would go up in the list of suspects; Princess Celestia's protégé could easily plan something so overly complicated and risky. Maybe Princess Celestia encouraged her to... Thankfully, Magma was only able to frown in mild disappointment as the ponies listened in. I knew he wouldn't like what I'd said, particularly as I'd said it in Equestrian, but at least he couldn't have me thrown into the lava pool and covered it up with some poor excuse, like 'insulting behaviour' or 'being a disrespectful bat pony'. Knowing he couldn't avoid the offer, the great dragon frowned and considered for a second. Around him the dragons hissed to each other. It would be weakness to accept, but a disgrace to refuse. He observed us, and growled to silence his subjects. Raising a claw, he prepared to speak. "I, Magma, King of the Ruby Horde, accept your offer of service, Nocturne," he glared at me slowly before turning to the nervously waiting alicorn, "however, this treaty must continue - so I ask that the ponies you command focus upon this duty, Princess of Ponies." Twilight smiled and agreed, perhaps realising that this king had managed to do both options at once. Refuse politely while accepting help. It was up to the individual to decide whether this meant he had dishonoured us and disgraced himself, or had gracefully and tactfully avoided the problem completely. What I did know was that I now had to start working again... "So this is where it went missing from?" I asked, staring down at the pile of burn twigs, rocks and gems. The cleft in the rock appeared narrow from the outside, despite being cosily shaped into a flattened oval in the centre, with most of the nests clumped in the middle. Mother dragons were able to patrol around the edges while the selected ones would warm the eggs regularly. Dragons do not sit on their eggs - for a start they would crush them, and they would never open even if dragons did weigh less. Eggs are opened by the magic in a dragon's fire, not by simple heating. My guide had been explaining this as we walked, but as I could see - this mother was not part of the central group, and the patrols didn't reach this far. "Yes, pony," my guide hissed. He was a young dragon; though you could hardly tell, due to his long, gangly physique and curling horns. However, fully-grown males would never be allowed into the nests - even males in general were rarely permitted in - so the only explanation I could think of was that he mustn't have come of age yet. "Why isn't this one with the others?" I glanced back at his pale blue eyes. They were shooting back a look that was both confused and condescending. "Because she is - argh - how would you say? - Lower - lesser than them." He blinked and gestured to the young female. "Sister of ground." Despite nodding, I was carefully trying to remember what this meant. It wasn't a phrase bat ponies normally used. Suddenly it came to me - dragons have their social ranking; based on their age, strength, partner, and - in the case of females - their young drakes. To be of ground made you the lowest of the low. The highest ranks were... of mountain - or of sky in the case of the king. So as a young, delicate lady-dragon (which was pretty tough, I must say, having seen her), she didn't get the protection of the higher-up matriarchs. She would have to ascend the ranks and prove herself before she would be accepted. I also now knew why my guide was allowed in here - he was the brother to this mother. "Where was she when it was taken?" I asked, knowing that she wouldn't speak to me. Even if we were talking in the Cave Tongue, she would never have replied; she glared angrily at me instead, as if it was my fault the egg had been taken. It was clear I wasn't wanted here - even the other mothers were staring at me, and would have eagerly burnt me to a crisp if they'd thought there was good reason to. "She told me that she was asleep - just over there -" he indicated to the rocky overhang the mother was glaring from, "- and didn't awake until dawn when she saw it was gone." I jotted this down in the notepad I'd borrowed from Perfect, hoping that I'd be able to read the writing later. I'd learnt to write holding a pencil in my wing, or in my mouth during rare and unavoidable situations (like now) - however, both made my writing spidery, inconsistent, and - more often than not - illegible. It also didn't help that my swelling eye was making it hard to see. "Did someone see anything unusual or out of place?" "No one has come forward," the brother shook his head, "we sleep at night, Thestral, and our eyes do not see as much as yours - it is unlikely that even if awake my sister would have seen something." I noted this, agreeing sociably. At night, between these rocks, it would have been incredibly dark. Even now, in the mid-morning Sun, it was bathed in cool shade. At least it was a pleasant spot to investigate; I wasn't being blinded half the time. Not that it was helping me find any clues; the thief had been careful - their biggest fault was probably running into me. "What did the egg look like?" "About this large -" He indicated a space about half a foot long. "- and black with blue spots - sort of speckled rather than with large dots." I drew an outline, which looked more like a strawberry than an egg, and tucked my pencil behind my ear. Frowning, I glanced around one last time; there was little disturbance to the actual nest - knowing the thief had wings meant that they had probably just scooped up their prize while flying past. Maybe it was while they were stuffing it in a bag that I caught them - manoeuvring a saddlebag mid-flight was a tricky thing to do; so, under the cover of darkness, they must have thought it safe to stop, secure their parcel, and then take off. The fissure was narrower here - with two dragons and I, it was a tight fit. My guide stood on one side of the nest, I was at the other, and his sister was perched higher up on the ledge. Knowing I would have to try it for the sake of the investigation, I tucked away the notepad and stretched my wings out. To fly towards this nest from the outer plateau, you would have to swoop down and make it back out; probably flying a little further in, doing a U-turn, and going out the way you came. Flying upwards would risk being seen by the dragons who slept on the higher ledges. Grimacing, I told my guide I was just testing something, and backed out of the rock cleft. Knowing I'd never make it into the air from standing, I took a quick run up, gritting my teeth as I forced my wings to beat. I managed to get a few meters into the air, gliding towards the jagged gap in the rock. I didn't make it into the crack. The edges of my wings caught on the rock and I tumbled to the floor, moaning. My guide asked if I was alright. Shrugging him off, I took to the air, checked that I was aiming for the widest point in the rocks, and tried again. Seeing I wouldn't make it, I tried to shift position - coming towards it sideways so my wings would fit. Scraping through, I tucked in my limbs, but couldn't save the fur and skin from being sanded away. Once in, I was also unable to flap, and collided messily with the ground. The blue-eyed drake pulled me out of the twigs and branches, setting me back on my hooves. "Have you finished... ah - 'testing'?" He asked, raising a feathered brow. "Not quite," I ignored his protest and trotted back out, hiding the grazes on my knees. The very floor of the crevice was possibly the narrowest - a pony was able to walk through, although possibly not a muscular stallion, and your wings would certainly scratch the rocks on either side. If I was prone to such nervousness, I would definitely have felt claustrophobic. But for a pegasus to have walked this, they would lose a couple of feathers at least - none of which I could see. I didn't want to start thinking about the possibilities of an accomplice. Emerging into the now blinding light, I groaned and turned back to the meagre opening, preparing to try again - knowing exactly what would happen. Perhaps, if I hadn't already been so knackered, I would have been able to do this... "Hello, Nocturne!" The voice startled me. Glancing about and squinting, I saw the form of our pegasus guard approaching. Perfect. "Everypony's arrived now - Princess Twilight thought you ought to meet them." "Sure," I nodded my goodbye to my new dragon friend and turned back to Cloud Drift, not trying to follow him. "Hey, Cloud - theoretically, could you fly through there?" He looked at me as if I was mad, then at the fissure. He flew up a little, taking a better look, only to land again quickly. Possibly because the dragons inside were glaring at him. "No - maybe a smaller pegasus could - that mare - Dust Trail - might manage. I couldn't." "Not even if you turned sideways rather than flying straight?" He considered, and then shook his head, saying, "Still no - that kind of manoeuvring is best left to the Wonderbolts." Cloud regarded me, laughing when an idea came to him. "Have you been trying? You're cut all over, but I can't tell if that's from today or yesterday." "Yes, I have." I said, matter-of-factly. "But, sweet Celestia, Nocturne - your wings are as wide as mine!" He held his out to compare. If anything, mine were slightly longer. "For the sake of the investigation, I had to try." "You're determined, I'll give you that." He held out a hoof and we started walking towards the pony side of the camp. At first, we walked in silence, until Cloud started whistling carols. I joined in with the descant line, surprised to find that I could still whistle. "I think we've started out on the wrong hoof, Nocturne," he said once we finished our unique rendition of The Fire of Friendship. When I didn't reply, he was forced to explain. "At first you seemed to be an insensitive, brash, she-devil of sorts - but underneath you're quite the devoted, conscientious mare." "I think I found the first description to be more flattering." He laughed. He was the type to laugh easily; making it louder and fuller than was strictly necessary. "You just like to have fun, but when it matters -" he faced me with a coy smile and soft eyes the colour of the sky, "- you really throw everything into it. I don't think I know any other mare whose brave enough to out-fly a dragon for the sake of a treaty." "Oh, please!" I shrugged, feeling myself blush involuntarily. "In the Royal Guard I'm sure you meet plenty of bold, reckless mares. I certainly knew a few when I was there!" "You were in the Guard?" "A few years - back when the Night Guard was re-established. Don't tell the dragons - I'm supposed to be impartial." He raised his eyebrows, nodding appreciatively. "That explains your devotion to Princess Luna." "Again - hardly anything new. I know several ponies who would have acted the same way in my position. Actually - most of the bat pony population would have tackled your friend if they'd heard what he said." "Princess Luna's important to the bat ponies?" "Very," I opened my wings out as if to capture the scale of our devotion, "'important' doesn't come close to describing it! Ignoring the whole worshipping thing - Princess Luna was the one to establish a bond between bat ponies and the rest of Equestria; got us equal rights, gave us jobs, respected us and our traditions; welcomed us and protected us. Losing her to the Nightmare... it broke that bond and the bat ponies were driven out in fear and derision. Obviously, some of the more cynical of us blame her for leaving - but more would willingly die for their princess than not." "I'd never looked at it like that," Cloud admitted, and I suspected there were a lot of things he'd never considered before. Nevertheless, he seemed to be a decent stallion - and had an open mind, which was more than could be said about most of them. "I'm afraid that you'd never sway Iron with that, though. He was a fresh faced guard, straight out of recruits' training when Nightmare Moon returned. I don't think it left him with a good impression." "When I qualified, Discord was released!" I laughed, shaking my head. "I like to think that I have a begrudging fondness for him." Cloud only frowned. "But that must have been terrifying!" He said. "I'd just been made an officer - I had to take responsibility and keep the recruits calm!" "I'm afraid we Night Guards lay outside drinking chocolate rain waiting for you to sort out the mess." "Still... Discord? He's, like, the Prince of Chaos! And you have a 'begrudging fondness' for him?" "Anypony capable of conjuring chocolate from the sky has my appreciation." I shrugged. "He's just misunderstood." "He got the princesses kidnapped!" I froze. Carefully, I glared at Cloud. "Are you just slandering him? This can't be true - I'd have heard." When he started chortling to himself, realisation dawned on me. The Summer Sun Celebration - Discord got Princess Luna kidnapped (and Celestia, less importantly)! We'd never been told when they returned - I guess we were just so happy that they were going to sort the crazy sky out. There were too many strange monsters in Equestria; I must have assumed it was one of them. Discord. In that instant, a certain chaotic draconequus dropped several places in my estimations. Finally, we came onto the pony camp just as Cloud was managing to stop giggling like a school-filly. Immediately, I wished I was back at the nests, trying to fly through stone. "Miss Nocturne!" The screech was as unwelcome as it was embarrassing, and I was forced to wave back kindly, trying to remember when I'd given her my name. The pink bat pony trotted over from the group, her silver mane bouncing in the sunlight. She didn't even seem to notice the Sun's glare any more. She caught me in a wing-hug, which I broke from quickly. Talk about inappropriate - there was no way that we were acquainted well enough for a hug! I wouldn't even have allowed my own sister to hug me, let alone a mare I viewed as a stranger (or an unhelpful limpet, at best). "I'm afraid you never told me your name," I stated tersely. "Oh, it's Secret." She held out a hoof for me to shake. I froze, barely managing to perform the basic motor function. Secret... Orion's new mare-friend. Desperately, I calculated the odds of there being more than one bat pony in Canterlot called Secret - as well as there being another one of them in academic research. The results didn't look good. I knew I had to be sure. I would never find the egg if I was too busy worrying about this mare and Orion's honour. "Sorry, excuse the intrusion, but -" I gulped, letting go of her hoof, "- you wouldn't happen to know a stallion called Orion, would you?" My panicking heartbeat filled the milliseconds of silence. "Orion? Yes, yes I do! When I said I was leaving he told me he had an old friend going as well." She smiled while my heart tried to throttle itself with its own arteries. "Small world..." I muttered, plastering a fake smile to my jaws. Of all the ponies! I had at least thought he'd got higher standards... "Certainly!" She continued grinning maniacally. "So... what brings you here - I didn't think your research covered dragons?" "It doesn't," she said, "but when I heard that the traditions of the dragons and the bat ponies were being observed, I just had to come along. I might have opted out if I'd known about the hike up here!" "I'm afraid we've already done the initiation," I pretended to look sheepish, "I'm not sure how much you can still get." "Nonsense - there's still plenty to learn. I can ask you for a start!" With that she pulled her notepad from her bulging saddlebags and began interrogating me. Despite my silent pleading, Cloud Drift smirked and left me to my dull, uninspiring fate. "I am never doing that again!" I declared as I slumped down in the shade of our tents. Not wanting to miss a thing, Secret had sworn that she was going to find and question Crater. I neglected to mention that he would either only speak in Cave Tongue, or would rip off her scrawny wings and use them to make a fetching parasol. "Anypony would think you didn't like her..." Spike was stirring a pot of... well - something - in preparation for lunch. Everypony else was with Magma and his selected minions to begin negotiations, desperate to start before relations turned even more sour. Spike and I would be called if any disputes arose. I wasn't even needed to translate in difficult cases - Perfect Eloquence could easily do that instead. Rolling onto my back, I regarded the dragon. I sighed. "What would you do, Spike, if your... view - of a friend was called into question by their judgement?" He raised a scaly eyebrow at me. "It's just you seem to be full of this friendship and wisdom stuff." "If you want that, you should talk to Twilight." "But you know it just as well as she does - she's been feeding you it as long as you've been around her. Celestia should make you a princess too." Spike guffawed at this. He stopped when he realised I was being serious. "You'd seriously rather hear from me than Twilight?" "Yeah - I find it easier to talk to you. I always feel thick next to our pretty purple princess." "But I'm an idiot - so it's alright?" He made it sound like a joke, even though I felt like I'd caught a nerve. "Clearly not if I'm asking for your advice." He considered. Finally he pulled out a pair of tortoise-shell glasses and put them on, patting the ground for me to sit on. "Alright - so what's the problem with your friend's judgement?" "His choice in mare-friends." "Let me guess - you were just talking to her?" "Precisely!" I ground my teeth. "He's tall and good-looking (by bat pony standards, at least), and a lieutenant in the Night Guard. He could do so much better than her!" "Do those things matter if they really like each other?" "Well, no - but I'm certain they don't. He couldn't even remember what she looked like when I asked him!" "Okay..." He readjusted his spectacles, then took them off and folded them away, muttering, "I can't see a thing anyway..." After a quick stir of what I could now see was broth, he settled his gaze on me. "I suggest... that you admit your undying love, and see what happens after that." "What? I don't love him! I just fear for his sanity!" "It really sounds like you're jealous..." "Why would I be jealous?" I crossed my hooves and glared at him. "I asked you for friendship advice, not how to ask somepony on a date!" "Maybe you're just ignoring your feelings?" He offered, holding up his ladle defensively, "You seem to find him attractive, is all." "So? You must have an attractive friend you aren't in love with!" "Well..." "Nevermind," I humphed, waving off his discomfort. "What I'm basically saying is; do I find him a replacement so he changes his mind naturally, or do I persuade him to dump the current one?" Spike shot me a sceptical frown. "In the name of friendship - you should trust him to come to a decision without your meddling. If you respect him as a friend, you should respect his decisions." I snorted. It just didn't solve it. Orion clearly couldn't see what he was getting himself into! What if he continued on this tirade of ignorance? Before he realised, he might be about to marry this mare! I could never visit him, because I'd run into her. Any pups they had would be pink and yellow abominations - which simply doesn't work for bat ponies. And she'd never manage the family visits - all of Orion's family still lived in a cave, and their Equestrian was terrible! "Nocturne? Nocturne - I think you need to breathe." Spike was prodding me with the ladle. I had been sat, staring blankly into the distance, hyperventilating slightly. "Come on, Nocturne! Deep breaths now; in - one, two, three, four - hold, and out - one, two, three, four, five. Feeling better?" "Sort of." I repeated the exercise. "Thanks, Spike. Just got ahead of myself there." He grinned, and turned back to stirring. I could hear him scraping the burnt layer off the bottom of the pot. He took a sip from the ladle, wrinkled his nose, and added something that smelled suspiciously of cinnamon. "Hey - I mean, maybe you're not jealous of her, but them - I'm guessing you don't have a special-somepony?" The sour look I shot him was enough to make a lemon cringe. "... I'll just stop talking, shall I?" He nodded in reply to himself and pretended to be busy with his cooking. I gave up on sitting and rolled onto my back, shielding my eyes with a hoof. I had meant to add a few plasters to the fresh cuts, but they'd stopped bleeding while I had been talking to Secret, and now I couldn't be bothered to get up. Yawning, I wondered how long I'd be able to nap before they stopped for lunch. "So... the great dragon negotiations... I'd thought we'd be doing a bit more, you know?" Clearly, Spike didn't do silence. "I never wanted to do more - this amount of negotiation is plenty for me." "Yeah, but you had to fight a dragon, and talk to Lord Magma, and now you're looking for the egg! All I've done is set up camp, cook, and ask for translations..." "Cooking is a vital task of utmost importance-" "But anypony could do it! "I don't know about that - I'd forget." "Then anypony but you!" He humphed. "I just don't see why I need to be here." "In case things go wrong." "Things have gone wrong - you dealt with them!" "And you say I'm the one that's jealous..." I rolled my eyes and looked up at the lanky green dragon; he wouldn't meet my gaze, and stared sullenly into the bubbling pot. "Look, do you want to know something? I haven't dealt with it yet - my only clue is that is was a small pegasus who stole the egg, and even that might be wrong. I'm not used to being in charge of an investigation, even if it is usually me doing the actual investigating. It's only been a morning, and I seem to have run out of leads. If a problem does start, it'll all fall back to the egg - and if I can't find it this whole thing'll go up. My nerves were in tatters before I left Canterlot, and I thought I was going to die yesterday." I put my hoof on his elbow (I had been reaching for his shoulder, but it was just too far away). "What I could really use is somepony to help me. Or possibly somedragon..." I smiled hopefully, flashing fangs that hadn't seen the Sun for months. "Despite what I've just told you, being a detective is really fun!" "You can be persuasive when you want to be, can't you?" "I certainly try." "Oh, so that's what you were doing - it sounded like moaning to me. If that's how you interrogate your suspects, you'll definitely need some... expert help..." He twisted his lips in a half smile. "So where do we start?"