The Contrite and Wandering Trixie had been walking the long road from Vanhoover to Manehatten for nearly six days when her aching back and rumbling belly convinced her to stop by an homely inn tucked within a tree line. She had no money, but she had recently mastered the art of fluttering her eyes and putting on a pouty face - subterfuge - to squeeze meals out of fools with too big of hearts and too little of brains. She adjusted her tattered wizard's hat and her heavy saddlebag, stretched her back, and opened the wooden door.
Inside was lively stringed music and a roaring fire. Several boisterous ponies, griffons and even a few zebras were laughing loudly around the tables. The fire lit the stone pillars the held the building, and the air smelled of stew and cooked vegetables. The Contrite and Wandering Trixie's mouth watered at the smell, and she scanned the room for a victim for the subterfuge. Rich looking ponies with their fancy furs were awful targets - they didn't get to their positions by being friendly. Ponies in groups were another poor choice. Sure, it seemed reasonable in that one of them might be a generous sort, but most of them - the female members especially - just stare at you with that disgusted, curled upper lip.
It was then she happened to spot, of all things, a royal guardspony of Equestria. He was a stout fellow of a decent build, if a little short. He was still in his armor, with the exception of the helmet, which he had removed and set to the side as if to discourage anypony from sitting next to him. His features were very plain: a short brown mane, brown eyes and a baluster white coat. He had a stern look on his beady little face like he was perpetually smelling something foul. A nearly full bowl of greens sat on the table in front of him, and he was occupying himself with a thick book.
The Contrite and Wandering Trixie popped her jaw and practiced her puppy-dog eyes, set her bag down gently on the floor, then smoothly slid into the seat directly across from him. She loudly placed her elbows up on the table and rested her chin on her hooves. She cleared her throat and preformed a wonderfully warm smile.
"A pony in uniform!" she said in her best 'sweetheart' voice, "And a handsome one at that! What brings you so far from home, soldier?"
He didn't look up at her.
She sat there in the growing awkwardness as he simply flipped a page in his book and the inn happily bustled around her.
She let a few more moments pass, then cleared her throat again. "I said-"
"I know what you said," the guardspony said curtly, "I'm not interested."
"What are you reading?"
"A book."
"Well, I put that together. What kind of book?"
"The kind best read without outside commentary."
The Contrite and Wandering Trixie flushed. Her newly acquired subterfuge tactics were getting her nowhere. She rubbed her nose and re-evaluated her strategy. She looked him up and down. He still hadn't looked at her.
"…You're from Equestria, are you not?" she said.
"Did the Equestrian armor give that away?" he said. He bent the corner of the page he was reading to mark his place, shut the book and slammed it on the table to the left of his meal. He leaned back in his chair and stared at her. He made no attempt to shield his annoyance. "Alright. What do you want?"
"'Want?'" said she in her best 'completely oblivious' voice. She fluttered her eyes for extra flavor. "Why, I don't necessarily 'want' anything…"
"Huh," he said flatly.
She looked at him, then down at his meal, then back at him. She could do nothing to stop her empty belly from releasing a powerful growl so loud she was sure half the inn heard it. She smiled and laughed nervously. The guardspony frowned and sneered a little. He grumbled to himself, rolled his eyes, then scooted his bowl of greens to her side with his nose. He relaxed back to the same position he held before, then resumed to stare at her.
She eyed the bowl and her mouth watered. "I, uh, I couldn't," she said.
He sighed and frowned harder. "It's yours."
She smacked her lips. "Well, if you insist," she said with barely contained adamance. She stuck her mouth into the bowl and bit off all she could fit, chewed it happily, swallowed, then bit more. After a few bites, she remembered herself, wiped her face and resumed her 'sweetheart' play. The guardspony just stared back at her with that stern face of his.
"So," she said, clearing her throat and tapping her chest, "What brings an Equestrian guardspony this far north?"
"…I was tasked to deliver a package to the Crystal Empire," he said.
"What was this package?"
"That isn't for you to know."
"I'm an acquaintance of Equestria, you know!"
"I think 'pariah' would be a better term." He tilted his head down and stared up her from beneath his eyebrows. "Did you really think I didn't know who you are. You're wearing the same hat, for Celestia's sake."
Her 'sweetheart' face cracked immediately and the Contrite and Wandering Trixie froze in place. Her mouth dropped open and her eyes were wide. He continued to stare at her, not like he was angry, but more like he was completely unimpressed.
"I-I, uh, I…" was all she could manage to babble out.
"Yes - you, you, you," he said, "That's a big priority for you, isn't it? So, was it just food you wanted, or would you like to waste more of my time?"
The Contrite and Wandering Trixie frittered in her self from the heat of embarrassment. This thick headed, boisterous and insufferable pony had made a fool of her with his egotistical stare and his…his… stupid face. She stuck her nose back into the bowl of greens has she thought of more sophisticated insults to hurl at this arrogant oaf. Meanwhile, he'd simply returned to his book, like she wasn't even there. The arrogance!
She decided to switch up her strategy. "…Thank you for the food," she said in a sweet little filly voice. If her fluttering eyes couldn't do the trick, innocent helplessness would. Even the most unpleasant of military ponies leapt at the opportunity to assist a poor pony down on her luck. Especially so if that pony was as drop dead gorgeous as her. He thought he was so tough beneath that stern face, but she was getting to him. Nopony resisted her for long.
"You're welcome," he said without looking away from his book. His tone was still annoyed, but she'd switch it around. After all, her silver tongue had kept her going this long. She wasn't about to be beaten by some punk in a uniform.
"You're traveling by hoof, I see. Tell me, how are the roads?"
"Paved," he said.
"I meant are they safe?"
"What, do you expect to get robbed? You won't see a bandit from here to the Smokey Mountain or south to the Ghastly Gorge."
"What about west?" she asked.
"I don't know about west."
The Contrite and Wandering Trixie frowned. He was as useless as he was stupid and ugly and short and…and…and he had a stupid voice. Still, he as of Equestria and he probably knew Twilight Sparkle. She had thought of getting in contact with Twilight Sparkle ever since she stumbled across an old stone tablet during her visit to Galloping Gorge.
It was small enough to fit in her saddle bag, but it was covered in strange markings she couldn't understand, with four figures carved into the top, bottom, left and right - each with a small gem as an eye. One had a blue eye and a crown, one a red eye and a sword, one a black eye and a scale and the last had two pale eyes and nothing at all. She would have sold it, but a few days ago the blue eye of the top figure had begun to glow. It spiked her curiosity. She stuffed it into a saddlebag and decided to take it to the Manehattan University where she figured some nut-job professor could tell her what it means. She also thought she could show it to that bookworm Twilight Sparkle. She would've gone to Ponyville too, but some big storm had shut down all the roads there. The storm had cleared out now, but she was closer to Manehattan than to Ponyville.
"You know Twilight Sparkle, don't you?" she asked.
"…Yes," he said.
"Could you deliver a message to her for me?"
He set his book down. "I'm not a delivery boy," he said sharply, "If you have business with Princess Twilight Sparkle, feel free to walk to Ponyville and talk with her."
Princess Twilight Sparkle? The Contrite and Wandering Trixie hadn't realized that purple squirt had become royalty.
"Although," the guardspony continued with his dreary voice, "She is very busy dealing with some serious recent issues, so don't be surprised if it's a while before you can waste her time."
Trixie gasped indignantly. If this guy wanted a verbal fight, she was willing to abide. "How do you know what's going in Equestria, huh? You're all the way out here!"
He frowned. "They set me a letter, letting me know what had happened. It's called mail."
"Well, then why couldn't they have mailed that important package of yours?"
"Because my package was something of a very important piece of mail," he said, "And the mail service was… unavailable."
"Look, can you just give her a message for me or not?"
He looked incredulously at her. "Was the previous not enough of a no for you?"
Some dimwitted waitress butted in suddenly and laid a slip of paper down on the table. "Your check, sir!" she said, oblivious.
He pulled some coins from his things and laid them on the table. "If you'll excuse me," he said. As he pushed himself from the table, Trixie lifted her tablet out from her saddlebag and slammed it on the table. The noise shocked him, and he stared at the tablet uncomfortably. "What is that?" he asked.
"It's an old tablet I found underground a while ago," she said, "I'm on my way to Manehattan to get some information on it. I didn't think much of it at first, but a few days ago the blue gemstone started to glow, right when that big storm started to go away. Maybe it's connected, I don't know. Something big is always happening around Twilight Sparkle, right? Maybe she read something in a book once that this would remind her of. Look, just… If you see her, tell her I'm hoping to talk to her. Have her send me a letter through your precious mail service, maybe?"
He sighed. "Fine," he said, "If I get a moment with Princess Twilight Sparkle, I'll tell her about you and your tablet, okay?"
"Thank you, uh…" She realized then that she didn't know his name.
"It's Mogadon," he said. Then he gathered his things and left.
The Contrite and Wandering Trixie slid her tablet back into her bag and smiled. In the end, she could always get them to do what she wanted. She finished her acquired meal and patted herself on the back. She stretched and flexed before hitting the road. She could probably reach Manehattan by the next night, and hopefully a letter from Twilight Sparkle would be waiting for her. It was better, she thought, to get info from Twilight that way, because hopefully this tablet would lead to treasure or something, and Trixie didn't really want to share it. Twilight Sparkle would want to put it in a museum or something, that goody-two-shoes.