//------------------------------//
// 23. 'Theus: Drifter 
// Story: Rise of Ponietheus 
// by twitterdick 
//------------------------------//

	'Theus loaded more stone onto his minecarts in the dead of the night. He hadn't been sleeping well these last few days, so he figured he might as well keep himself busy. Working distracted him from reflecting on the things he'd done and what a fool he was. He enjoyed feeling productive and fantasizing that his work would open their hearts to him, that he'd feel at home, but he didn't fool himself. 
It was the night of his fourth day as an Equestrian Government Employee/Royal Seneschal - which he understood was a nice way of saying he was an internment worker. He didn't mind and he didn't complain. Luna, Pinkie Pie and the days he'd spent in a Canterlot dungeon had made it quite clear that he was in the wrong. The angry stares of the ponies and the obvious unpopularity of the sentence did bother him greatly, but when he worked he didn't have to think about it.
With Twilight's permission, he'd constructed a small rail line between his mill house and the old stone quarry at the base of the mountain which held up Canterlot. She'd also granted him use of an unnamed section of old forest to the northeast of the town, which no one seemed to really care about, to use for collecting timber. With a few exceptions, Ponyville's buildings were mainly made of wood and stone, so repairs there were fairly straight-forward, especially since the Ponyville citizens had already started. Canterlot, on the other hoof, required a lot of brick, which meant a lot of clay. Equestria had to import clay, so Canterlot's repairs would have to wait. 'Theus wasn't one for waiting. He never was. 
The few hours he did sleep, the sleep wasn't satisfactory. The few times he dreamt, the dreams weren't pleasant ones. He dreamt of the faces of Draco's alicorn followers, the ones who'd supported him against the ponies, who wanted to kill them, and him; who'd he cursed. They were long dead now. He didn't remember most of their names. He, who'd lashed out for being forgotten, didn't remember most of their names.
'Theus filled the last of his seven minecarts with some gypsum he planed to use for mortar. There was plenty of it stored away in the stone quarry. He planned to ask for leave to head south towards a town called Apple Loosa to collect sand. Sand, gypsum and water would make mortar. He planned to build a wall around Ponyville, and a keep for Twilight Sparkle. Pinkie Pie visited him often, and would tell him stories of the adventures she'd been on with her friends. If even half her stories were true, someone had their eyes on attacking Ponyville every month or so. A wall and a keep would discourage that, he thought. Ponies could duck into the keep if things got bad. More than that, 'Theus wanted to add something to Ponyville, not just fix it. 
'Theus connected the minecarts together and used his magic to push them up the rail line back to his mill. They were heavy, and pushing them was draining, but he enjoyed the night sky, the soft breeze, the sounds of bugs and owls in the distance and the smell of grass. He liked this place better than Hailcryon, and, of all the places he'd been forced to be in his life, he decided he liked Ponyville the best.
His rail line ended near his mill house, and he'd built a storage shed along side the end of the line. He'd built the shed about ten meters across and three meters wide, with the longer end facing the track. It had three walls, the fourth open wall also facing towards the track with a large support beam in the middle. He'd put about twelve centimeters of gravel down beneath it, to keep the grass from overgrowing the area. Inside the shed were four large chests he would store the stone and a few smaller chests on a shelf above them where he would put the gypsum he'd collected. The lumber he used was stacked behind the shed in pyramids. 
He carefully lifted his gypsum from the mine cart and stored it away in vacant chests of the shelves, then he got to work smoothing out the stone he'd collected into bricks. They varied in length, but he was very careful to make them the same height - about twenty centimeters, or so he guessed. He kept the first brick he'd made for comparison. 
Making bricks with magic wasn't hard at all. All it took was focus. He'd always been best with fire magic, but he'd gotten some practice in with wind. He used small but powerful gusts to brush unwanted chucks away from the stone and smooth out small imperfections. He worked for a few hours, clearing out two and a half of his minecarts, and filling all his chests to the point that he had to start stacking the overflow on the side of the shed. It had to have been at least 3AM by the time he decided he'd have another go at falling asleep.
He'd purchased a long sofa on credit from a shop in town that sold only couches and quills. It was one of the more expensive couches there, putting him more in debt, but it was large enough for him to lie on and was still cheaper than an actual bed. He entered his mill and lied down, pulling a blanket Pinkie Pie had gave him over his body. It was too small, and only covered about half of his body, but he liked it. He still didn't have a pillow, but the couch was comfortable enough.
He didn't remember falling asleep, although that night he dreamt of his father, which was pleasant in comparison to the dreams he'd had lately. They were on a mountain overlooking a long forest in the dead of night. It was quiet, and there was snow falling lightly out over the valley. In the sky, behind translucent grey clouds, a bright, white moon shined out over the valley, lighting the snow on the ground, and on the trees and mountains. 'Theus had a blanket wrapped around himself to fight the cold, and his father lay with his back to the rocks near a small fire they had built. His father seemed grey, much more grey than 'Theus remember him being, and was so old. He was bleeding from a wound in his side, his eyes were dark and his eye lids hung low.
After some silence, 'Theus looked at his father, who lay quietly and weakly, but he did not shiver nor whimper, despite his wound or his lack of blanket. 'Theus shivered incessantly. He knew that his father was dying.
"Strength is continuing to move forward, even when you don't have much of a reason to," his father kept saying over and over in a low, whispery monotone. His dark eyes never left the fire. Afterwords, he began to fade away like sand being slowly dispersed by wind. 'Theus tried to call out to him, but the words stuck in his throat. He knew then that it was all on him, that he'd have to descend through the valley on his own and be responsible for all he had done and all he had wasted.
Strength is continuing to move forward, even when you don't have much of a reason to.
Then he woke up.
The light of the sun gleamed gently in through the window. It stretched out across the floor in front of him and lit a few cobwebs on the walls to his left. 'Theus's limbs felt weak and his eyes felt heavy. He had to go into town today; collect his stipend from Twilight Sparkle, purchase food, perchance borrow books or visit Pinkie Pie at the bakery. He'd been in there once, and the couple that owned the place were at least nice to his face. He loved the rock candy they sold there. He'd loved rock candy since the first ponies discovered it back at Hailcryon. It was like a tiny reminder of what that colossal wreck once was.
He got out of bed, stretched out and walked into town.
It was quiet in the street, for one reason or another. He figured it was about midday, so the Ponyville residents must've been at work. He passed a few in the street, but none of them even pretended to be interested in talking with him.
He reached Twilight's library before too long and the small purple dragon, Spike, opened the door when he knocked. Spike's sweet little face turned sour when he realized who'd called upon him.
"What do you want?" he asked curtly.
"…Let him in, Spike, it's just business," Twilight Sparkle called out from somewhere inside the library. 'Theus guessed she figured out he was there on the supposition that Spike wouldn't really take that tone with anyone else. 'Theus pretended that it didn't bother him, but at least a small part of him knew that was a lie.
Spike swung the door all the open and begrudgingly let him inside. "Thank you kindly," 'Theus said politely. Spike responded with an eye roll and a sneer.
The library was remarkably clean. It was as if he'd never been there. He figured Twilight Sparkle was the kind of being who needed something stable and unchanging to juxtapose at that which shifted incessantly around her. He found her near the back of the library squatting over a cluttered yet very organized desk of papers. She was busily writing what appeared to be a letter.
"How go the repairs?" she asked him without looking up.
"Pretty good!"
"…Pretty well," she corrected.
"Oh, right. Sorry." 'Theus noticed he couldn't make it through a conversation with anyone without apologizing a few times. He didn't feel slighted by Twilight Sparkle. She treated him more fairly than most. "I'd say Ponyville will be structurally complete by the end of the week. It'd be like I was never there."
Spike snickered and mumbled something under his breath. 'Theus figured it wasn't anything kind.
"And Canterlot?" Twilight Sparkle asked.
"…Canterlot's a different story," he admitted, "I still need clay, and there's the matter of getting all the supplies up there. I could carry them up there, but that would at least take a day…"
"Clay we've imported from the Crystal Empire should arrive within the next day or two. Once we get it, I'll arrange for a freight train for you to load whatever supplies you need in the next few days. I'd take caution when you go there. Ponies up there like you even less."
She peered meekly up at him after she let that slip, like she only just realized the emotion impact it could have. 'Theus just smiled back at her. She put her quill down and leaned back in her chair. "Princess Celestia has arranged for you to work with a skilled architect for the castle's repairs. I warn you, he is absolutely irritation. He's the kind of pony that second guesses everything you do. Personally, I wouldn't have paired you with that pain in the neck if you'd burn the entire place down. Nothing is more needlessly cruel."
She gave him a sly smile, and he appreciated the fact that she was trying to cheer him up. Frankly, this architect didn't sound like anyone who'd worry him. After all, he grew up with Draco.
"I'll do my best not to cast him from the mountain," he said.
"Good," she said with a nod, "Attempted murder is the last thing you need on your criminal record."
He couldn't help but glanced down at the papers she'd been scribbling on. They were letters to Celestia, and the one she was working on specifically logged the agricultural damage of his storm. His heart sank into his stomach.
"I have your stipend in the box over there," she said obliviously, "Three hundred bits. Should last you two weeks."
"Thanks," he said.
"Do you need a saddle bag to carry it?" she asked, "Well, I suppose I don't really have one in your size."
"I'll just carry the box, if it's all the same to you."
She nodded dismissively. "Whatever works."
She went silent and returned to her work. 'Theus realized she meant that as a farewell only after he stood there guffawing like an idiot. 
"…Anything else?" she asked.
"I'd like to build a keep," he blurted out.
"A what?"
"A keep. It's like a castle but smaller and more, uh, fort-y, if you get what I mean. A, uh, city wide wall would accompany it."
Twilight Sparkle eyed him incredulously with her mouth open. "Why would I need a keep."
'Theus shrugged. "In case Ponyville came under attack. The citizen could run to the keep for safety."
Twilight Sparkle's eyes wandered slowly about the room and she shifted her jaw back and forth. He figured it meant she was thinking.
"Would that take a lot of resources?"
"Mostly lumber and stone, and I've a bunch of that."
"What about gates?"
"Gates are pretty easy."
"Who will maintain the keep and the walls."
"Me, if I'm able to stick around. If not, more jobs for the Ponyville market."
Twilight Sparkle went back to her papers. "Get Canterlot fixed first, then I'll think about it."
'Theus smiled widely. It wasn't a no.
"Anything else?" she asked impatiently.
"No, that's it."
"I trust you can show yourself out."
He bowed politely, lifted the small box of money with his magic, and left without incident. He'd come to enjoy Twilight Sparkle and her entourage, even though it was quite clear most of them didn't like him very much. Twilight Sparkle herself tolerated him, Pinkie Pie reminded him often that she'd forgiven him and Fluttershy always smiled softly when she saw him, like she wanted him to know everything was going to be okay. The other three and Spike the baby dragon each wanted nothing to do with him. The cyan one, Rainbow Dash, absolutely hated him and wasn't quiet about it.
Being hated by anyone hurt him more than any slight he'd ever endured. He'd wanted to talk to her, to try and convince her that he was contrite and didn't deserve to be hated. Every time he'd gone into town, he looked around for her, but she was never around.
Until today.
He froze in place when he saw her approaching the library. No doubt she'd come for Twilight Sparkle. When she saw him, her casual smirk and laxed demeanor harden and she went stiff, eyeing him suspiciously. 
"Good afternoon," he said appeasingly.
She didn't respond. 
His forced smile cracked and fell away almost immediately. He felt a twist in his chest and his eyes dropped down to the ground. He figured he'd best apologize now and get the confrontation over with. She wasn't liable to like him any without speaking with him.
"…I'd been looking for you, you know," he said.
"Why?" she said harshly. 
'Theus swallowed and forced himself to look in her eyes. Rainbow Dash just stared at him with her mouth hung halfway open. Her face scrunched up on the right side, and her pupils danced back and forth with his. The more he stood there, like a fool, the more this all felt like a terrible idea. What could only be described as a twist sweltered in his chest.
"I had to find you and tell you I'm sorry."
Rainbow Dash blinked and frowned. "Um, thanks," she said coldly.
"I…"
He didn't have anything to say. She wouldn't have listened anyway. He bit down on his tongue and stared at the ground. In that moment, more than the field or the courtroom, he felt like a child. His tongue slipped back behind his teeth, and he soon noticed he was clenching them to the point of a near-pained pressure. He managed to look back up at her as he shrunk. She stood ramrod stiff - watching. Her soft sneer communicated a mistrust at best, and antipathy at worst.
"…Sorry."
"It's fine."
Her voice was rigid and filled with a barely contained disgust. She pushed passed him and went into the library. He stood there with his head low for a minute, then determinedly made off for the nearby fields. No one else would be there. He just needed some air. 
The fields were always calm, like nothing had ever happened there. The grass was withered by still green and the skies were clear. The soft scent of the peak of autumn caught the air and surround him as he furrowed and worried. He fidgeted and cursed himself. He was wincing. He had shivered.
No, but after a while he did not feel alone.
Another soft breeze caressed him, but he was suspicious and looked around. He had wandered near the edge of the Everfree forest, and the silky green and auburn grasses clashed with that decrepit place.
"Enjoying freedom? Or, at least, whatever you can, with all those asterisks attached to the word 'freedom.'" 
Discord slinked from the tree line and joined him with a coy smile. He behaved like he'd known 'Theus for years. 'Theus found himself quite discomforted. He eyed Discord nervously and rubbed his face. No, if Discord remembered what had happened before, he wouldn't have been so friendly.
"You're Discord, right?" 'Theus said.
Discord popped his jaw and smirked. "Hit the nail on the head, Harby, ol' boy!"
"My name is Ponietheus."
"To you, yes. But the littles ponies down in Ponyville, you're still Harbinger," Discord said. He lifted himself up from the ground and floated around 'Theus as he attempted to walk away. "But here you are, reformed and repentant and eager to serve. Oh, Celestia sure can pick 'em…"
'Theus stopped in place and flustered. "Can I help you with something?"
Discord remained laxed but stopped in place to his right. He let his feet touch the ground. "Hey, relax friend. We're just having a conversation. There's no need to get upset…"
'Theus frowned. "Look, I've got a town to help fix up, so if you'll excuse me…"
He motioned to leave but Discord placed his hand firmly on 'Theus's shoulder.
"I said 'relax friend,'" He said bluntly.
'Theus pulled away and smacked Discord's hand away with his hoof. "Hey, back off!"
Discord wiped his nose and sneered. He got up close to 'Theus and pointed his finger in his face. "Listen to me, friend: You just committed some hefty war crimes against one of the most powerful despots on this rock and painted yourself quite the devil in the eyes of the public and I'm offering to be your friend." Discord clenched his teeth but backed up slightly. "Trust me. You're going to need to make some friends here. They go crazy for that stuff. So, what's it going to be? Are you going to play hero or are you going to play ball?"
'Theus lowered his head and look away. Discord had an agenda, memories or no. He nodded and quickly looked back up. "What are you getting at?"
Discord smiled slightly and rubbed his chin. "You see, while you've been digging ditches and having mental breakdowns, I've been thinking. You and me? We find ourselves in very similar situations."
'Theus nodded and swallowed. "Reformed villains? I mean, if that's what you're referring to…"
Discord tilted his head and nodded. "Yeah, that's what I'm referring to."
Discord paused and looked away. He fidgeted for a bit; scratching his neck and rubbing his nose. He didn't like being compared to the likes of 'Theus.
Discord sighed. "Look, I don't think the good Sun Princess made us Ponyville's civilian villains out of the good graces of her being. I mean, her sweet sister might get a get-out-of-jail-free card straight from the kindness of ol' 'Tia's heart, but the likes of you and me? No. No, I'm not buying it."
He was actually right. 'Theus rubbed his face nervously. This guy's ego was suffocating, and 'Theus doubted he had good intentions. He decided it was best to play along for now. Discord clearly underestimated him.
'Theus shrugged. "Well, you've known her longer than I have. What are you thinking?"
Discord pulled himself closer. He placed his hand on 'Theus's shoulder and hushed himself. "You know what's interesting? You, I and Moon-Boots aren't the only big baddies 'Tia's gone up against. Some fog failure named Sombra and some insect spook got kicked back to wherever with no attempt at a reformation option. Why? Twilight Sparkle. She was in the position to get a leash on you and I, but not them. All Twilight Sparkle has to do is snap her little fingers and you're gone and I'm stone - er, so to speak."
"So, what, our sins are forgiven in exchange for serving Twilight Sparkle?"
Discord nodded. "Yeah. Look, I've got nothing against our supreme master. I'm just saying ol' 'Tia's going for the long haul in some game of chess, and that you and I aren't particularly important pieces. But Twilight Sparkle? Oh, she's a piece worth sacrificing the likes of you and me for. Look, I like the kid, sure, and I hope whatever 'Tia's working towards works out in her favor, but I'm not getting stuck with the bill on this one. I'm not going down for her, you follow?"
"What's your point?"
Discord frowned then grew unprecedentedly serious. "You and I are in the same boat, so I figure we've got to look out for each other."
'Theus swallowed.
Discord stuck his hand out, proposing a shake. "What do you say, friend? I'm a draconequus of my word."
'Theus scanned Discord and thought. He sighed and nodded. He stuck his hoof out and allowed Discord to clasp it. "Sure thing… friend." Discord had this wicked grin on his face, as if 'Theus was playing right into his hand. 'Theus caught that look quickly. He might be foolish, but he wasn't stupid. He figured he knew a thing or two about opportunists, both from his upbringing and from Gaea, who proved in the end she only sought power. 'Theus wouldn't be used again - not by the likes of this silver tongued devil who clearly wasn't half as smart as he thought he was.
Discord made some excuse to slink off and left. 'Theus just stood in place amidst his eclectic thoughts and furrowed. It wasn't like anyone would listen to him if he told them about Discord. Pinkie Pie might, but he didn't know their history very well. He could 'watch' things during his captivity, but the passed week or so had taught him that he didn't know a thing about this place. Sourly, he decided to wait on it.
It was a lonely walk back to his mill, his home. He ducked beneath the front door's small frame and smiled at his empty, old and decommissioned water mill that wasn't built to his scale. He really wanted to restore the mill to working condition, among other projects. He kept himself busy until he finally noticed the sun had set behind him and the stars had resumed their place above in the clear night sky. 'Theus wiped the sweat from his brow and went inside. He sat down on his small couch near his small blanket and relaxed. After about twenty minutes, Pinkie Pie, his only friend in Ponyville, poked her head in through his window. 
"Remember me?"
"Yeah, I remember you," he said as she climbed in. Every time she stopped by to visit, she stuck her head in through that window and asked those same words, and he always responded the same as well. She never used the door. Not once. Still, he welcomed and enjoyed the company. He'd never admit it to himself, but he was awfully lonely. "Would you like some water or something?" 
As soon as he asked that, a rumble in his belly reminded him that he didn't have an ice box or a working faucet… and he'd forgotten to grocery shop that day. In fact, he'd forgotten to eat that day.
"No thanks. I'm good!" she said, much to his relief. "Did ya have a good day?"
No. He wasn't sleeping and everyone that didn't hate didn't care one way or the other. "Yeah, it was a good day. You?"
"I had a great day, thanks for askin'!" she said. He couldn't really understand how she could be so chipper or so relaxed in his old mill. She found a place on the sofa a distance next to him and just waited, like she knew it was coming. Finally, his fake placidity collapsed, and he frowned, furrowed, worried and spoke.
"Hey Pinkie Pie, I… There are a lot of things that I'd like to talk to you about - talk to anyone about, but… now that I'm here, I don't remember what it was I wanted to say. It makes you want to laugh, doesn't it? I thought that there was something I could say to you - to anyone - and you'd get it. You'd get just who I am and where I've come from, and what I've carried along the way. Something that'd justify all this, you know? I had some words prepared, but now I don't…"
He felt like he was reaching out but failing to grasp. He didn't have the words for it, but - the way she looked at him - she seemed to understand, like she'd been there the whole time; seen everything, heard every sound, felt everything.
She just smiled at him like everything was alright. "Words aren't the only things that tell ponies what you're thinking, silly."
'Theus shook his head. "I thought once that I deserved better than what I got once. Now I'm not so sure what I deserve."
Still, Pinkie Pie smiled at him. "I don't think this is about what you deserve," she said sweetly.
"How do I…?" The words caught in his throat. His eyes burned and begged for rest. His mouth way dry. His chest was tight. He felt twisted and awful, with thorns in his guts. The worst part was that he didn't have anyone else to fault, so he had to face it. "How do I come back from this?" he asked quietly.
Pinkie Pie just shrugged like it wasn't a big deal. "I dunno," she said, "But you'll find a reason, I think! Nothing's caused you to stop yet, right? So you'll find the reason. Like, the reason isn't out there, y'know, it's not a set thing - there's not a purpose or destiny for you to fulfill. You just happen to be here and you've got to make your own reasons, I think."
'Theus scratched his own chin and forced himself to smile too. 
She patted him on the shoulder. "Let's go look at the stars."