//------------------------------// // Chapter 16 // Story: Ponystuck // by confoundtheseponies //------------------------------// CRB: So, um, I think that's everything. CRB: But we really need to do something, because I'm not sure how long it's going to take before the monsters decide to attack the Boutique... PCM: OK, don't worry, I'll think of something. You're safe at the moment, right? CRB: Yeah... PCM: Well, the four of you just stay there, and I'll be over shortly. PCM: Once I've jumped all these frogs into the future. PCM: Then you can come over here and start breeding them! CRB: :) PCM: OK, talk to you all later! [PAST crespucularMagicant stopped responding to memo TEAM NUBLET] [CURRENT fractalAbomination began responding to memo TEAM NUBLET] CFA: attention! calling all noobs CFA: this is your early morning wake up call CFA: alerting you to the fact that you've slept in, the toast is burnt, you've missed your business meeting CFA: and basically shit has just gotten real in every meaning of the phrase, except one CFA: but before all that CFA: hey nublets, how's it going? [CURRENT adamantineCorsair began responding to memo TEAM NUBLET] CAC: Thank you for pointing out that we're in trouble, we hadn't noticed. CAC: Except that Rainbow and I would be dead if Applejack and Fluttershy hadn't shown up when they did. CFA: boohoo. dying means fuck all in this game CFA: as i have now realised that, thanks to a certain stab-happy thief CFA: all of my group have died once, and we're all very much alive CFA: and also furious CAC: My dream self already is dead, and I can't very well pull a trick like Pinkie when there's so many underlings in between my home and my quest bed. CFA: meh, guess not CFA: although since you bring it up, your little god tier friend is your best weapon now. where is she? CAC: I don't know. We haven't seen her since she ascended. CFA: i'd recommend you just sit tight until she shows up again. all but the most powerful of even your underlings should be child's play for a fully realised bard CAC: Bard? CFA: yes. she's a bard of void. by celestia, are you paying attention to anything that's happened yet? how do i know more about your session than you do? CAC: Well, I have only just entered the game, and thanks to my artifact forcing me into prototyping that ring, I now find myself... what's the word... CAC: House-trapped. CFA: yeah, well, anyway CFA: getting back on topic CFA: when i said that shit has gotten real, i didn't mean your ridiculously terrible prototyping, although that is still a very bad thing CFA: i meant that your session is being invaded CAC: Oh? By who? CFA: i have no idea [CURRENT prismaticAscension began responding to memo TEAM NUBLET] CPA: Worst. Warning. Ever. CFA: i see what you did there CFA: and no, it isn't. the worst warning ever was emmy CFA: who apparently knew all along about mild being a complete idiot, but figured it'd be fun to not tell anyone until after our game was ruined CPA: Hah. CFA: this is going nowhere fast CAC: Well, what did you want? We all have a lot of things to get done. I don't even know what happened in your session. CFA: urgh... CFA: ok, you know what? CFA: recap time, everypony! CRB: Uh... a recap of what? CFA: everything CFA: ok, so CFA: myself, emmy, des, dawn, diamond, and acapella CFA: are in team fuckass, and have technically finished the game, even though our frog is dead CFA: on an unrelated note, mild and silver are hereby removed from the team for high treason CFA: they're now in their own little group with some weird shadowy pony that none of us have even the slightest clue about, all we know is that he's the reason our frog is dead and so we're going to kill him CFA: their little trio of evil will hereafter be referred to as the asshole squad CFA: may all their endeavours result in at least one of them becoming severely injured, amen CFA: although, silver is claiming to be on our side, but who knows for sure CFA: personally, as much as i may feel bad about it, i don't trust her CFA: anyway, silver and mild are going somewhere, we're not sure where atm CFA: but we do know that the third member of the AS is going to your session CFA: presumably to make it even worse than it already is, somehow, possibly by killing your frog the way he did ours CFA: maybe he's just a guy who really hates frogs CFA: even though that's kind of silly and would never make a credible villain CFA: moving on to the next team, we have, in no particular order CFA: fluttershy, twilight, pinkie pie, rainbow dash, rarity, and whatsherface [CURRENT obstinateCultivator began responding to memo TEAM NUBLET] COC: Applejack. CFA: right CFA: you're all in team nublet, cause you're noobs CAC: I'm not sure those are real words, darling. CFA: the reason you don't understand them is that you're a noob CFA: the point is that your group, true to its name, has completely fucked up your prototypings to the degree that the game is basically unplayable for such inexperienced players CFA: and if i'm right about the visitor who should be on his way, it's about to get a whole lot worse CAC: Thank you for telling us everything we already know. Is there anything else? CFA: yes, there is. i figure i might as well mention them CFA: while we're on this whistlestop tour of the seemingly endless temporal clusterfuck jamboree that we've got going on CFA: we also have another group who seem to have no connection to either of us yet, but still insist on existing and being annoying CFA: they are heliacalDreamer, midnightEclipse, amniomorphicWizard, suspiciousSeraphim, and eclecticSage CFA: but they aren't talking to us any more because apparently time shit is involved CFA: i mean, obviously, that goes without saying. time shit is always involved CFA: but in any case, they don't get a team name until we figure out what the hell they're up to COC: So, to put it in a nutshell... CFA: that's already in a nutshell CFA: imagine how long it would take to write it all out properly CFA: probably about 3.5 months or something ridiculous like that COC: To put it in a nutshell... y'all screwed up and didn't stop this unknown pony when ya had the chance. COC: And now it's our problem. CFA: well, to be fair, we didn't even know about his existence until i had my crazy prophecy dream where i met your pink friend CFA: but it's not all your problem, don't worry CFA: we will soon be joining your session to unleash a world of pain on the aforementioned invaders CFA: think of us as the incredibly well timed dragon swooping down to save you CFA: to use an incredibly contrived metaphor COC: Hrm. CFA: now if you'll excuse me, i have a high powered business meeting with my cohorts CFA: feel free to sit around aimlessly in the mean time CRB: Uh... OK, bye. CFA: later [CURRENT fractalAbomination stopped responding to memo TEAM NUBLET] *** It was strange how, even here in the deepest corner of the Veil, Skaia still shone brightly from the centre of the incipisphere. A dot of blue against the pitch black darkness, mocking the people of Derse from afar. But to Mild, the light was not insulting to the eye, but seemed to be beckoning him towards it. Skaia wanted its hero to return. He was a prince of Prospit, after all - his dream self's destiny had always been tied to the planet. But now, that was in the past. His new destiny concerned itself with a different place at the centre of an entirely different system - but not an entirely unrelated one. And the sooner Silver came out to meet him, the sooner they could begin the journey towards that centre. Oh and here she was. That was convenient. "I take it you gave them the code?" Mild asked as Silver Edge walked out onto the deck of the ship. She nodded. "Well then, I suppose we're all set. Shall we?" "I guess. Maybe I'll finally be able to get some answers, once we meet... you know. Her." Silver knew that she didn't need to specify who she was talking about. Both of them knew already, just as they knew - and therefore didn't need to discuss - everything about their destination. Which was convenient for them, but mildly irritating for anypony who happened to be observing their actions. "It seems odd that everything that's happened so far hinges on how well we can handle what happens next." "Well, Time isn't either of our departments; we're not supposed to understand." In a way, of course, their future success was already determined by their previous triumphs. Then again, fooling yourself into thinking that you couldn't fail was suicide. "Do you have the Gate?" The Gate, just to be clear, is something that should be treated as highly mysterious and intriguing, and should be accompanied by suitable feelings of awe and wonder as Silver retrieves it from her sylladex. "OK then, time to go." Silver made the necessary adjustments to the instrument, and hovered a hoof over it in preparation. "Ready?" "Yeah." The hoof was lowered, the Gate activated, and the two ponies were sent billions of years to the left. *** You make the MONOPONY IS ALREADY A PUN! "So... wait, this is what?" Acapella asked, as she picked up the monopony board from the alchemiter. It seemed just like any other, except that now it was now round and apparently powered by popamatic bubble technology. "And how does it help?" Diamond shrugged. "Well, I don't know. All I know is that Silver said we could use it to get into Nublet's session." Lifting the board out of Acapella's grip with her magic, Diamond inspected the circular map. "LONAG, LOTAF, LOSAL, LOPAL, LOSAF... that's their session, right?" This question was directed at Comet, who seemed to have taken on the role of knowing everything about the game - if only because none of the others could be bothered. "Yeah, that's them." Comet had by now finished his recap of the current situation, and was in the process of packing away his laptop. "We should probably be heading off soon. There's no point hanging around a dead session." "It seems like a waste, doesn't it?" Summer asked, gesturing around them at the all but destroyed Battlefield littered with corpses. "We were so close..." "Yeah." Disheartening though it was, there was of course a silver lining to their misfortune. "But hold on to your frustration, because when we catch up to Mild there's going to be a whole other Reckoning." Oh, and speak of the devil-fucking dickens. [psychoticDeceiver began pestering fractalAbomination] PD: Hey. FA: oh, you can still talk to us? FA: i mean, obviously, i don't know why you wouldn't be able to just because you're suddenly a backstabbing asshole FA: wait, that's not what 'suddenly' means, that implies a rapid change in your personality FA: which is wrong, of course PD: Uhuh. FA: you've always been a complete asshole is what i'm trying to say PD: I got that. FA: good, i just wanted to make sure PD: Anyway. PD: I would just like to say that I dont see why we should be enemies. PD: You could just let go of the petty grudge that youre no doubt harbouring against me. PD: Wouldnt that be easier? FA: yeah FA: but it wouldn't be as satisfying as killing you PD: By Celestia, Im trying to let you guys off easy here, for old times sake. PD: Do you seriously think you could kill me? FA: yes, yes i do FA: because at the end of the day, while you've got magic and god tier powers and all that bs FA: we have something you'll never have PD: What, friendship? :P FA: actually, i was going to say something about how we're filled up with anger and determination because of losing something that we put a lot of effort into, implying you never have and never will put any effort into anything because you're lazy FA: but since you bring it up, you suck and have no friends FA: that's a much better insult, thanks FA: lol PD: Why do I even bother... FA: i strongly suspect it has something to do with you being an asshole PD: ... how? FA: idk, but you are PD: Ok, never mind. Im going, and if I were you Id stay out of my way in the future. FA: oh, don't worry, we won't get in your way FA: backstabs do more damage [fractalAbomination ceased being pestered by psychoticDeceiver] "What did he want?" Summer asked, as Comet once again captchalogued his laptop. "I think he wanted to be insulted repeatedly." Comet shrugged. "I can't really think of any other reason why he would start messaging me." Calmly walking over to Diamond, he waved his hoof aimlessly over the MAP. "Now, let's get this show on the road. Oh, and Emmy?" At the mention of his name - or at least, the irritating nickname that Comet had forced onto him - Ember looked up. "Yeah?" "I just realised I forgot to tell you this earlier, but if you see any frogs, something tells me you should leave them be." So saying, he pressed down onto the central button, and the six ponies were sent catapulting through time and space. Mostly space, to be honest. But, of course, it's essentially the same thing either way. ***END OF ACT 2 ACT 1*** "We thank the Mage for returning our charges to us." The bear consorts which occupied the Land of Trees and Frogs had been very nice about allowing Twilight to take the frogs in the past, and were positively ecstatic about her returning them in the present. "And so the unity of Time and Space is assured. Now we must wait for our Seer to see the way." Spike failed to hide a yawn - this debriefing had lasted entirely too long for his liking. Of course, Twilight was thoroughly enjoying herself, and shot the dragon a vicious glare at his interruption before smiling back at the bear chieftain. "Yes, of course. There's a few things we need to take care of before Fluttershy can... well, leave the Boutique. They're surrounded by underlings, and the approaching fire is going to get to them soon, so they're in a bad way. Me and Spike will have to leave to help them straight away!" Twilight paused, checking to make sure that she had covered everything. "Are you all alright here, against the underlings?" "We appreciate your concern, for we understand that our cousins in realms far beyond this are not always treated to such respect. But we will be fine, and the frogs will be kept safe. Oh, and before you leave..." The chieftain waved a paw, and a pair of smaller bears entered carrying a large bottle of ink. "We have a gift for the Mage - ink fit for the weapon of only the highest scholar." Picking up the bottle magically, Twilight read the label. Ink of Squid Pro Quo. "We trust you can make use of this?" *** Damn it. Damn it all to heck. He had that shot. He had it. But did he take it? No. Stupid stupid stupid. Damn. Taking a brief moment of respite from his campaign of self-hate, the Artillery Regulator sighed wearily as he glanced upwards to Skaia. Despite the years of conditioning that taught Dersites to hate or otherwise fear Prospit and Skaia, the light of the great crucible above him felt refreshing. Almost... hopeful. Or at least, it was hopeful in contrast to his thoughts of Derse, and of his fate when the Queen learned of what had happened. Or, if not the Queen, then of the Thief who had visited them. Somehow that seemed worse. Regardless, he had screwed up in a big way, and he knew it. Not only had he failed to eliminate the Bard, but he had allowed her to ascend to the God Tiers, undoing all the good he had done by killing her dream self! Stupid! Argh! Wait, what was that? A slight movement in the corner of his sight drew the regulator's attention to a pair of tiny purple specks - the Mage, and her assistant, here? It was almost too much to hope for, if he wasn't able to see them for himself. Double checking his equipment, the regulator began to sprint towards the Mage, while she entered Sugarcube Corner. *** "OK Spike, it's time to test out this code." Twilight had been wondering for quite some time about the code PH04?D6E. Whatever it was, it was surely a powerful weapon for it to cost so much grist. It was, in other words, just what she needed to get the edge over the underlings. And so she had stopped off in the Land of Presents and Laughter to try and make the mystery item. She duly punched the code into the designix, made her card, carved her totem, and once again stood before the alchemiter. As it turned out, her millions of units of build grist and shale and amethyst and all other kinds of grist notwithstanding, she was fifty granite short of being able to make the item. It seemed that the game did not think it was appropriate for her to have that kind of power at this stage, which was disappointing. "Oh. Well, that's disappointing." It was also something of a spanner in the works. Admittedly, Twilight was much higher up her echeladder than any of the others, except maybe Applejack, but the entire Boutique was surrounded. She couldn't take on that many by herself. "You've always got me," Spike said, as if reading her thoughts. "We'll make it, just like always." Twilight smiled a little at that. "Of course we will, I'm just-" Twilight broke off, catching a glimpse of someone - or something - through the window, outside of Pinkie's home. "Wait, what's that?" "What's what?" Spike pushed Twilight out of the way to get a better view of the land outside. "Hm, it's some guy who looks kind of like an underling. Except I don't think I've seen an underling using a... uh... whatever that is." Whatever the weapon that the small carapaced individual outside of Sugarcube Corner was using, all Spike knew was that it didn't look like much fun. "Let me see." Taking another look out of the window, Twilight glared intently at the figure, as one end of the weapon flashed brightly and propelled a large projectile out of the tube. "I think it's a-" Silencing her answer, as well as any debate over whether or not a pony living in the time period from which Twilight originates would be able to recognise a rocket launcher, the side of Sugarcube Corner promptly exploded. *** [CURRENT mushroomAddict began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS] CMA: sO CMA: wHERE IS EVERYPONY NONE OF YOU ARE ONLINE CMA: aND i DONT KNOW WHERE i AM EXCEPT THAT ITS TERRIBLE AND THERE ARE FROGS AND THATS WHY ITS SO TERRIBLE CMA: gUYS [PAST fractalAbomination began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS] PFA: holy fuck can you not wait for ten fucking minutes PFA: we knew this was going to happen PFA: silver told us that teleporting into nublet's session from outside would get us separated PFA: figures that she meant temporally as well PFA: space and time are pretty much the same thing, after all PFA: which i suppose is a blessing, because if it was all up to you to understand the weird space shit then celestia help us all CMA: wELL YOU DONT KNOW THAT WHAT YOURE SAYING IS TRUE PFA: that's right, i don't PFA: you're the one who's supposed to know CMA: hOW THE FUCK AM i SUPPOSED TO KNOW NOPONY TOLD ME THIS STUFF PFA: nopony was supposed to PFA: seriously. grow a fucking brain, or at least some patience [FUTURE mechanicalNoisemaker began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS] FMN: I just thought that I'd point out that Comet was right FMN: We'll be online again in a few minutes PFA: told you FMN: Shut up CMA: ok THEN iLL JUST WAIT i GUESS CMA: mAYBE KILL SOME FROGS OR SOMETHING FMN: No don't FMN: Doing that is a really terrible idea FMN: Trust me CMA: i REALLY THINK i SHOULD KILL THE FROGS FMN: Well fine FMN: I only know it's a bad idea because of what happens when you do it FMN: So I guess that actually you have to PFA: yeah FMN: Shut up PFA: i was agreeing with you FMN: Shut up PFA: stop saying that FMN: Fine [FUTURE mechanicalNoisemaker stopped responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS] PFA: what the hell did i do to piss her off this time PFA: and by this time, i of course mean in the future PFA: whatever, it's not important CMA: iM GOING TO GO KILL SOME FROGS NOW PFA: yeah, sure [CURRENT mushroomAddict stopped responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS] [FUTURE mushroomAddict began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS] FMA: uH FMA: cOMET PFA: what? FMA: cAN YOU TELL PAST ME THAT i SHOULDNT KILL THE FROGS PFA: C: PFA: no. firstly because whatever it is, it clearly isn't lethal PFA: and i think you deserve to end up on the business end of your own stupidity for once FMA: >:( PFA: also, let's imagine that i will tell your past self PFA: he, in spite of the warning, quite clearly just went off with the intention of killing frogs PFA: you complete dumbass, you don't know the first thing about time travel, do you? FMA: wHATEVER JUST TELL HIM PFA: sure, but only so i have something else to put on the list of your terrible ideas PFA: there's not much on there, because you rarely have any ideas FMA: uRGH WHATEVER [FUTURE mushroomAddict stopped responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS] PFA: heh PFA: does anyone else, from any time period, have something they want to say? PFA: ... no? PFA: ok then [PAST fractalAbomination stopped responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS] *** The Mage was weakened, but not yet dead. Luckily, the regulator had prepared for such an eventuality, having had the foresight to bring along his trusty knife. Man, he loved his trusty knife. If he didn't have his trusty knife, he'd probably slit his wrists. While the dragon had been knocked out by the blast, the unicorn was still hanging on to consciousness, looking towards him with a pleading expression. "Who... who are you..." she asked, seeking some reason for the seemingly unprovoked attack. "Why... why did you do this?" Briefly, the regulator considered the list of awesome one-liners he could use next. 'I'm the guy who keeps the afterlife in business', and 'Screw the rules, I have money' were his two favourites, but only one of those actually made sense in context. Besides, he didn't have any money. His reply chosen, he strode towards the Mage, knife in hand. Timing was everything here. "I'm the guy who keeps the afterlife in business," he said, his voice barely above a whisper, as he began to swing the knife downwards. "Actually, that would be your mother." The knife halted, and the regulator span around on the spot to face an unfamiliar pony - a teal unicorn, with a large book hovering by his side. "You know, because so many people die. As a result of sleeping with her. Get it?" A moment of silence passed, which Comet spent looking around awkwardly. "Oh, just forget it." With that, the book leapt forwards and smashed into the regulator's skull, causing him to fall down onto the floor. Neither Comet nor Twilight bothered to check if he was going to get back up. Instead, Comet stepped over the freshly deceased agent and helped Twilight to her feet. "You took your time." *** "This seems oddly familiar," Acapella remarked, as she and Diamond suddenly found themselves in the shadows of huge, looming towers. "Isn't this Derse?" While her dream self had only been on the planet for a short time, the architecture and all pervasive colour scheme of Derse was quite iconic. "I think so." Diamond agreed, warily eyeing the shadows for any signs of an agent - or worse - lurking in the darkness. She, of course, had never been to Derse, but the planet was essentially identical to Prospit. Which was all part of the balance, of course. "Not our Derse, though. This must be Nublet's Derse." "How can you tell?" "Towers." Pointing upwards, Diamond gestured towards the purple moon of Derse, relatively bright against the perfectly dark sky. At the current angle of the moon relative to their position on Derse, the dream towers could clearly be seen. Three of them, as opposed to the four of their session. "Speaking of which, we're down on the actual planet. And more than that, we're not the princesses of this session. Which means we can and will be attacked by any agents who happen to find us." Nodding upwards - an unusually awkward movement reserved for those who have used all of their more common methods for drawing attention to something, but who would sacrifice their own comfort for the sake of avoiding repetition. "Whereas, the dream towers would be a good place to hide, or at least to meet up with the nublets." "Sounds good," Acapella commented, before nudging Diamond in the shoulder. "But it might be a good idea to wait for a little bit before you go flying off. Look who it is." Following Acapella's line of sight, Diamond glanced through the air to where Silver Edge was slowly gliding around the buildings. "Hm, fancy seeing her here. I thought that Silver was going to some other session?" Acapella shrugged. "Well, whatever. If she's here, then that means that Mild must be around here somewhere. We'd best tread carefully." "Oh, it's far too late for that." Mild said, stepping out from the darkness behind the two unicorns. "No, I think your best bet would be to tread as rapidly as possible, in whatever direction you deem safest." He smiled evilly, drawing multiple daggers from his sylladex and magically juggling them in a circle around him. "Tell you what - I'll give you a five second head start." *** "Rarity, we really need to do something about this," Rainbow called down from her vantage point by the second floor window. "Where the word 'this' could mean the underlings surrounding us, the time limit we have to complete the game within, or the ever approaching fire which is burning up the entire planet. Actually, 'this' means all of those things, and probably some more stuff that we don't know about yet." "Well Ah'd love to hear what ya think we should be doing, Rainbow!" Applejack shouted back, voicing the opinions of all three ponies whom were waiting downstairs. "But until ya have any ideas, ya ain't doing any better than the rest of us!" "Yeah, I know." Rainbow sulkily turned back to her post at the window. She, of all ponies, should be the last one to be trapped inside like this. Sadly, she had learned the hard way that some of the underlings had ranged attacks, so simply flying away wasn't an option. "Wait, what's that?" It was at that point that Rainbow noticed something - two pegasi she didn't recognise, on the other side of the wall of underlings. "Hey, there's somepony out there!" In the room downstairs, the others all clambered to the window, to take in what happened next. The three ogres who were blocking the path towards Carousel Boutique were all vaguely surprised to discover just how 'vital' their vital organs were, as three loud rifle shots blasted holes straight through their thick carapaces. As the volley of bullets continued, they were one by one cut down by a flurry of blades. Now ignoring the remaining underlings, who were only just beginning to realise that there were ponies out in the open, the two pegasi quickly dashed towards the Boutique, leaving a blurred trail of deep blue and red behind them. Hurriedly unlocking the door, Applejack opened the entrance to let the ponies in before slamming it shut once again. Everypony took a few moments for the excitement to wear off, while Summer Dawn and Destiny stood panting from exhaustion. Oddly enough, it was Fluttershy who was the first to speak. "Ohmygosh, that was amazing! How did you do that? Where did you come from? Who are you? Are you here to help? What WAS that? Are you hurt? Hungry? Do you want something to eat? What about-" her barrage of questions was halted by Applejack, who approached the two newcomers with a little more caution. "Now don't get me wrong, Ah appreciate that ya just took out a few of the underlings out there for us. But who are ya?" The blue pegasus looked her directly in the eyes, and grinned. "I'm Summer Dawn, and I'm here to drink alcohol and kick ass... and I'm all out of alcohol." The red pegasus next to her coughed. "OK, actually there is still some alcohol, but Destiny here has seen fit to remove the alcohol from my possession until an unspecified point in the future. The point is that I'm here to kick ass." "Smooth, Summer." Destiny commented, rolling her eyes apologetically at the assembled ponies. "Relax everypony; the psychopath and her alcoholic friend are here to save the day." "Uh..." Fluttershy began, searching for the right response. "Yay?"