//------------------------------// // Normally, Slade is better at lying. // Story: Of Owls and Hats // by Malcolm Merlyn //------------------------------// "Why hello there. Are your parents home?" Amanda Waller asked as she looked at Eila who wore more than simply a "I am so confused" look on her face. She just looked at her dumbly and stuttered, not entirely sure on exactly how she was supposed to answer this question. Simply put, the answer of "I am in this house with my best friend and three adults I barely know sounds probably rather off in any case." "Hi Waller. Come on in." Slade invited as he allowed the short, squat woman into his house and into the dining room, spotting out the various people who were eating around the table. So apparently Slade didn't poison EVERYONE that came over to his for dinner. Just most people. Hawkeye's appetite rapidly deserted him as he saw Waller. Something about the women just felt off. Naturally, his hands strayed to his bow, which had been folded up for the occasion. Widow too had noticed that something about this woman just didn't feel quite right. A figure that radiated authority and ruthlessness. Humph. Sounds an awful lot like Nick Fury. "So Wilson. Who are these people?" Waller asked in a rather haughty tone. To anyone else in the room, it was a miracle how Slade hadn't strangled someone for speaking to him in such a manner. "Oh you know. That's my nephew with his wife. Those two are my granddaughters." "Uh huh." Waller nodded as she scrutinized Hawkeye for a moment. "You know. I'd actually believe you if you had siblings." "Cousin's son." Slade replied automatically. "I'd once again, believe you more if they didn't live on the other side of the country. Not to mention wouldn't that be called a cousin once-removed?" "Don't bother me with specifics." Slade replied as Waller took a look at Sanya and Eila who both did actually look like Rose. Of course... "You're going to tell me these two are Rose's. And then we realize that Rose never had any children, and even if she did, hell would freeze over before she sent you her children for Thanksgiving." "Okay. You got me." Slade groaned. "What do you want Waller?" "First off. Who the hell are these people?" "Clint Barton. You can call me Hawkeye." Clint said as he stood up to face the woman. "Hawkeye huh? What? You some kind of metahuman with enhanced vision?" "I just have good eye sight." Clint replied as he unfolded his bow. "Good enough to put an arrow in something I am not even looking at." "And what your "wife"?" "Whatever secret operation your running? She could find anything in ten seconds flat about it." "Clint. Please." "Sorry Nat. My mouth tends to run around some people." Hawkeye replied as he stared coldly at Waller. Strangely, the short, squat woman hardly even as much as acknowledged him as she looked at Sanya and Eila, who looked awfully unaware of the fact that right in front of them stood a woman who held unspeakable power at her very finger tips. "You two do look a lot like Rose. Humph. So Wilson, I am not here on why you actually have guests over for dinner for once, but rather, where the hell did these people come from? I checked every available match. These people simply don't exist." "Not here at least." Slade replied. "You know Waller, when I disappear off the grid. I told you to treat it as though I am leaving this planet. Take that statement very literally." "So. Aliens?" "No. Humans. Just from another earth. I hope you've been reading the League's records..." "I haven't. Please. Bring me up to speed." "Long story short. There are an infinite amount of universes, creating an infinite amount of earths." Slade replied flatly. "You are welcome for that explanation." "Good one. Now then. What the hell do you plan to do with people from a different universe? That's presuming your story is true." "Well. A man referred to as "Owlman" was last sighted in a certain world referred to as "Equestria". Owlman was the one who discovered such existences of infinite earths. Last time the league dealt with him, he was busy attempting to shatter reality. I suspect he is attempting to do it again. Now I don't know about you, but I really am not too excited on dying. So if you will excuse me for a few weeks, I'll be off killing this man. If you honestly don't believe me Waller, I suggest you read the records the league has kept." "Now assuming I do believe you. Why are these people here?" "I asked for a little bit of backup. Looks like I got it." "How old are you two?" Waller asked as she turned to Sanya and Eila. "I am 14." "I am 15. Why?" "Don't let the age fool you. I am certain they can turn your average man inside out." Slade replied with unfeigned confidence. "Besides. Those two over there are some of the best men from across the gap. Now Waller. Time for me to ask you something. You didn't come all the way here just to bother me over the fact I was having company for dinner for the first time. Why are you here?" "Because ARGUS completed that weapon you asked for." Waller replied as she tossed Slade the staff. "And thank you, for KGBeast." "You're welcome. Now get out." "Another staff?" Sanya asked as she was served a slice of cheesecake. The creamy indulgent taste was a holiday for her taste-buds as she ate a rather quick pace. "It's got more of a use then the last one. A better use." Slade replied as he began to eat a slice of his own handiwork. Being marooned on an island for two years really does improve one's culinary skills. "Apparently your staves are sniper rifles?" Eila asked. "That must be pretty neat." "It is awfully useful. But I think I am going to enjoy this even more. When you're done eating, I'll show you what it does. Assuming Waller's grease monkeys made this thing right, I will probably not explode myself." "Is it a rocket launcher?" Nat asked as she examined the staff. "Even better." Slade grinned. When everyone had been finished, he decided to test his new toy first hand. Downstairs at the range, he made sure to carefully not aim for the targets. He aimed straight for the wall. The brilliant blue bolt that flew out slapped the cement with lethal force. The explosion that followed shattered the structure of the entire wall, tearing a massive hole. "That's just like a..." "HYDRA weapon?" Slade finished. "It is. I had some of they're rifles collected and reverse engineered the design. I honestly lack the means to build one myself, but luckily some of my friends in high places do." "I never thought that woman was your friend." "She isn't. She's my boss." Slade stated. "And trust me. I am only working for her because I partially want to." "What's the other part?" "I have to. Now then. In two days, we'll probably have all we need to get to that diamond of mine." Slade said. "So here's the thing. This house does have a few bedrooms. That's the good news. The bad news is, only of them actually has a bed, everything else is used for painting storage." "Paintings?" "That's my day job." Slade explained. "I sell paintings which I can assure you, are legally purchased and have not been stolen." Whether or not this was a joke, no one really knew. The man led his guests upstairs where the rooms were. As Slade had explained, they were indeed stocked with paintings, quite valuable ones actually which were all fortunately, stowed against the walls so there'd be no hassle in having to move them unless Slade wanted to be out a few million dollars. "Alright. Eila, Sanya. You two want the bed? It's was made for one man, but I assume you two could probably squeeze together." "We don't mind." Eila grinned rather... sketchily. "Right Sanya?" "Okay. That was a little bit creepy..." Clint commented. "Yeah... okay. So what about you Slade?" "There's a sofa in my basement. I'll sleep there for the night. You need a place to bed?" "Actually... I was thinking the roof." "The roof?" "I honestly can't stand lying down on anything that's cushioned. I just can't. Besides, it's a nice view up there." "Suit yourself. I take it someone with your expertise can get up there?" "Aye." "What about you... Mrs. Romanoff?" "I think one of the chairs or couches will do." "Alright then." Slade nodded. "Get some rest everyone. There's more to do tomorrow."