//------------------------------//
// Chapter 8 
// Story: The Jets, The Sharks, and The Ponies 
// by Equestrian Career 
//------------------------------//

	"Alright, is everyone here?" Riff asked the Jets. They were waiting for the Sharks at Doc's. He looked around, then turned to Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, "Hey, aren't there supposed to be three of you?"
"Excuse us for just a moment..." replied Rainbow Dash. She pushed Pinkie Pie to the side. Rainbow Dash sighed, "I'm starting to get the feeling she's not coming." 
"Hey, look!" Pinkie Pie shouted, pointing to a flash of magenta light. They went over to where the portal to Equestria was. Standing right by the mirror was...
"TWILIGHT!!!!! You made it!" Pinkie Pie squeezed Twilight.
"Did you throw up?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"Guess what? I didn't even need to stay for that long! Rarity and Fluttershy were there! But it was nice. The only bad thing that happened was that Rarity almost fainted again,"
Rainbow Dash pushed Twilight and Pinkie Pie to the Jets. "Let's get going! The best song in the movie is about to start! Riff, she's here!"
"It's about time you ponies do something," Riff said.
"You really think he's awesome?" Twilight asked Rainbow Dash "He keeps calling you stupid and useless!"
"Riff's amazing. If he were a pony, I would marry him," Rainbow Dash said like she was in a trance.
"Look everyone! It's Officer Krupke!" Pinkie Pie shouted.
His car pulled over by the Jets. "Hey you!" he shouted.
The Jets went into a frenzy, "Hey who? Who? Me? Him?"
Riff broke the frenzy, "Top of the evening Officer Krupke	!"
Officer Krupke pointed to Baby John, "You,"
"Me sir?" 
"Yeah you, didn't you hear me?"
"Yes sir, I've got 20-20 hearing."
"Then why didn't you answer me the first time?"
A-Rab came in for Baby John, "Well, his mother told him to never answer back to a cop."
Officer Krupke screamed, "You little wise apple! You want me to turn you in?"
"Indeed not sir."
He looked at all the Jets, "I ought to run all you punks in. What are doing just standing around?"
Riff stepped in, "You see sir, we're afraid to go home. It's such a bad environment."
Snowboy added, "We don't get any love there. It's awful."
Next came Action, "If you don't leave us on the streets, we're liable to turn into a bunch of juvenile delinquents."
Officer Krupke laughed, "I know you guys were cooking something up at the dance tonight, so don't think you're going to put nothing over me." He left for the car, "Oh, and don't let me catch you around here when I get back." 
As his car left, Action ran for it, "Hey! Hey! Hey! He forgot to say goodbye!"
A-Rab comforted him, "Those headbusters don't have any manners."
"So what happened, a big fat nothing, right?" Rainbow Dash laughed.
"Yeah," Twilight answered "But suppose he comes back during the war council...?"
"You ponies," Riff giggled "Then we'll snow them some more. You see, those cops believe anything they read in the papers about us. So that's what we give them. Something to believe in!"  
Tiger got a rolled up newspaper and imitated Officer Krupke, "Hey, you!" 
Riff went up to him, "Me, Officer Krupke?" 
"Yeah, you!" replied 'Officer Krupke' "Give me one good reason for not dragging you down to the stationhouse, you punk." He hit Riff with the newspaper. 
Riff started singing, "Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke, you gotta understand it’s just our bringing up-ke that gets us out of hand. Our mothers all are junkies. Our fathers all are drunks. Golly Moses, naturally we’re punks. 
The Jets joined in, "Gee, Officer Krupke, we’re very upset. We never had the love that every child ought to get. We ain’t no delinquents, we’re misunderstood. Deep down inside us there is good! 
"There is good!" Riff shouted. 
The Jets sang again, "There is good, there is good, there is untapped good. Like inside, the worse of us is good." They danced around like children.
"That’s a touching good story." Tiger cried. 
"Let me tell it to the world!" Riff proclaimed. 
Tiger hit Riff again with the newspaper, "Just tell it to the Judge."
"Whose going to be the judge?" the Jets wondered. Pinkie pie raised her hoof. Riff, rolling his eyes pointed to a window where Pinkie Pie could sit. 
After everyone was situated, Riff sang to Pinkie, "Dear kindly Judge, your Honor, my parents treat me rough. With all their marijuana, they won’t give me a puff. They didn’t want to have me, but somehow I was had. Leaping lizards, that’s what I’m so bad! 
"Right!" Pinkie Pie shouted. She started singing, "Officer Krupke, you’re really a square. This boy don’t need a judge, he needs a analysis’s care! It’s just his neurosis that ought to be curbed. He’s psychologically disturbed!"
"I’m disturbed!" Riff shouted. 
The Jets joined in again, "We’re disturbed, we’re disturbed, we’re the most disturbed. Like we’re psychologically disturbed. 
The Jets ran around, screaming. Pinkie Pie interrupted, "Hear ye, Her ye! In the opinion of this court, this child is depraved on account he ain’t had a normal home." 
Riff was happy about this, "Hey, I’m depraved on account I’m deprived!" 
Pinkie Pie hit him with the newspaper, "So take him to a headshrinker." She pointed to Rainbow Dash, "You!"
"Who me?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"You be the headshrinker!"Riff ordered. She, of course listened to Riff and sat next to him as he sang he case, "My Daddy beats my Mommy, my Mommy clobbers me, my Grandpa is a Commie, my Grandma pushes tea. My sister wears a mustache, my brother wears a dress. Goodness Gracious, that’s why I’m a mess! 
"Yes!" Rainbow Dash said. She sang to Tiger in a German accent, "Officer Krupke, he shouldn’t be here. This boy don’t need a couch, he needs a useful career. Society’s played him a terrible trick. Und sociologically he’s sick!" 
"I am sick!" Riff yelled.
The Jets all sang, "We are sick, we are sick, we are sick, sick, sick. Like we’re sociologically sick!" They danced around again, as Riff lay on the ground. 
Rainbow Dash spoke to everyone, "In my opinion, this child does not need to have his head shrunk at all. Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease." 
Riff lifted up his head, "Hey, I got a social disease!"
Rainbow hit him with the paper, "So take him to a social worker!"
"Vich vay?" asked Twilight in a German accent.
Rainbow Dash pointed at her, "That vay." The next thing she knew, she was pretending to be Riff's social worker. 
Riff kept touching her face as he sang, "Dear kindly social worker, they tell me get a job, like be a soda-jerker, which means like be a slob. It’s not I’m anti-social. I’m only anti-work. Gloryosky, that’s why I’m a jerk!"
"Eek!" Twilight eked. She sang, " Officer Krupke, you’ve done it again. This boy don’t need a job, he needs a year in the pen! It ain’t just a question of misunderstood, deep down inside him, he’s no good! 
"I’m no good!" Riff cried. 
The Jets sang, "We’re no good, we’re no good we’re no earthly good. "Like the best of us is no way good!" 
They started to argue about Riff, shouting random things, "The trouble is he’s lazy. The trouble is he drinks. The trouble is he’s crazy. The trouble is he stinks. The trouble is he’s growing. The trouble is he’s grown!  
The Jets and ponies turned to Tiger, tossed Riff into his arms, and sang, "Krupke, we got troubles of our own! Gee, Officer Krupke, we’re down on our knees. 
Riff sang next, "Cause no one wants a fella with a social disease." 
Tiger dropped him and he went to sing with the Jets, "Gee, Officer Krupke, what are we to do?" Riff took the newspaper and hit Tiger as he, the ponies, and the Jets sang, "Gee, Officer Krupke, Krup you!"
The Jets were laughing at their role-play, when a voice came, "Are you ready, or what?" Bernardo and the Sharks have arrived. 
"Let's do this!" Riff smiled.