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// Dark Green Attracts Heat 
// Story: I Blame You 
// by Whitestrake 
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	Through the door, we heard begging, pleading, and negotiating, courtesy of Jay. For the Element of Honesty, AJ was playing along like a professional conmare. Celestia and I were having a hard time controlling our laughter, it would not be to our benefit for the flutist to figure things out. Twilight looked annoyed with me, and I think Fluttershy was indifferent to the whole situation. I know the Elements understood, but that didn't mean they liked what I did to Jay. The Princess and I had to stop ourselves from applauding the farm pony when she entered the hall, only because she left the door open.

“Well, we've come t' an agreement.” Applejack looked pleased with herself, that put me off a bit, because I never took her as one to enjoy conspiring against someone else. “Jay says he'll work th' farm t' make up fer his... behavior.”

“So, when's the deadbeat dad starting work?” I could feel Jay's self esteem dieing as I spoke. I am going to have so much fun with this, if only because I know he'll break even with me. As long as he tries to get revenge, then all is fair.

“I'll be starting tomorrow.” I have never seen him so sullen, and for some odd reason, I was starting to feel kind of bad about tricking him. Of course, the feeling quickly died, they always do.

“Thanks fer getting' this thang sorted out, Taylor.” It seemed the Element of Honesty could act, and had a flare for manipulation. Applejack left, with Jay following close behind, I almost feel for him and all the work AJ is going to make him do. Almost.

The early morning slowed to a boring pace, and Celestia excused me. I guess she knew how tired I was. I was free to go, under one stipulation: I had to assist Twilight in any way she asked. That included friendship reports and any research she felt like conducting that was too dangerous for Spike. Trixie wanted to come with me, but Nurse Redheart noticed her stitches, my work is not exactly Mayo Clinic, and requested that she stay to be examined.

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I woke up around noon. Not because of the sun being in my eyes, I could just roll over to avoid that, but because my Chevy is dark green. If I'm being too subtle, I'm saying it was as hot as Satan's asshole in the cab. Right about the time I stepped out, into the mud my truck was partially buried in, I remember what had happened over the past thirty hours.

It was then that I was glad Trixie had needed to stay at the hospital to get stitched up, again. I say that, because I slammed my fist into the hood, and was immediately reminded of the solid steel body. Imagine slamming your hand into a piece of steel sheet metal, doesn't feel good, does it? My possibly fractured fingers aside, I was certain today was going to be a good day. Wait... I owe Lyra some answers, don't I?

Fuck my life. I just shook my head and opened my truck's seat. A wonderful feature of the 1992 Chevrolet Silverado was the added storage space behind the seats, just pull a lever and poof!, instant hiding spot for... stuff. Not just any stuff, my Fallout: New Vegas Collector's Edition Vault-Tec Standard Issue Vault 21 Playing Cards. Well, time for a game of solitaire.

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At Sweet Apple Acres, Jay was awoken by Big Mac ringing a very loud bell next to his head.

“What time is it?” Jay rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

“Jus' before sunrise, time ta' start on the west field.” Big Mac had a drawl, but not as exaggerated as Applejack's. Hold up, just before sunrise? That meant Jay had gotten about a half hour of sleep. Today was going to suck, he just knew it would.

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...and, done! Wow, I've never finished a game of solitaire before. I usually just get frustrated and ragequit, its not my fault I don't know how to play. Well, regardless of how I can pass the time, there are more productive things I can do. Maybe Trixie could help free my truck, or Twilight, I know Lyra would offer her assistance. Then there's the matter of storing it somewhere, and procuring parts for any repairs I may need to perform, if I know how. I may have created a semi-affordable method of FTL travel, but when it comes to the inner working of an automobile, I might as well be reading Confucius' untranslated manuscripts.

The first step I took in the direction of Ponyville sent a bolt of pain up my leg. I should have gotten that cut looked at, it probably needed stitches, definitely a good disinfection. I took my boot off, and immediately knew I was in deep shit. There was the beginnings of an infection, the area was very tender, and the skin was inflamed. Well, at least I don't have gangrene. Against my better judgment, I put my sock and boot back on, and started limped back toward the hospital I had spent a number of hours in last night.

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“What exactly am I supposed to do?” Jay and Big Mac were standing outside a small portion of the orchard, just on the border of the Everfree, right about where Jay had first emerged.

“Yer s'posed ta buck the trees, like this.” Big Mac gave an apple tree a hard kick, and the fruit fell perfectly into a number of preset buckets. That was a neat trick, Jay mentally noted to learn that at some point.

“Is this right?” The flutist slammed his foot into the trunk of an adjacent tree. He succeeded in hurting his foot, but failed at knocking any apples loose. The tree remembered seeing Taylor punch the wall of a shed, put his fist right through. That was how hard Jay had kicked the tree, and it didn't even drop one of its fruit from the force.

“Maybe ya should try somethin' else.” Big Mac spoke in his calm, even way, but the flutist heard some apprehension in his voice. The teen was determined not to be a burden on this family, previous events notwithstanding. Jay started to climb the tree, which was not difficult, the bottom of the canopy was fairly low. “What're ya doin' up there?” Big Mac was very confused by the human's antics.

“Getting apples.” The response may have been inadequate, but the results would answer all questions the red stallion had. The treetop shook violently, and its delicious fruit fell neatly into the buckets.

“Ah guess ya've got this.” Big Mac looked impressed, it wasn't every day he saw anything that wasn't a member of his family knock so many apples from a tree. As he turned to leave, Jay had already started to climb another, despite how unorthodox his methods may have been, he got results. Of course, no sooner he had said that, Jay fell from the canopy. “Maybe not.”