//------------------------------// // Day 23: For The Queen // Story: NaPoWriMo 2014: A Compilation of Pony Tales // by Fluttercheer //------------------------------// Ya too stupid to understand! Ya never will! The last words she spoke to her friends sounded through her head, like an echo from her deeply injured soul. The treacherous letters still in her hooves, her legs collapsed and she sat down on her haunches. She leaned her back against the door and sobbed. Apple Bloom could fell the vibrations of the door as her friends on the other side knocked against it. The letters slid out of her hooves and she pulled up her hindlegs, wrapped her hooves around them and buried her head deeply into them. The voices of her friends sounded into her ear. “Open the door, Apple Bloom! Whatever it is, I'm sure we can talk about it!” “Please don't hide yourself from us!” Apple Bloom gave them no answer. The tears streamed down her face now. Now that her friends had seen what she was capable of, everything was over. And sooner or later she had to talk to them about it. Except..... Apple Bloom looked up, her view blurred from her tears. Except she would never come out. Ever again. She could spend the rest of her life in her room. At first this thought seemed silly to Apple Bloom. But the more she thought about it, the more it seemed right to her. What point was there in going out again? If she would, she had to explain. But what? What should she explain? Apple Bloom didn't know and in fact, she couldn't explain it. Even she didn't understand what was wrong with her. How should her friends understand it then? Sometimes, Apple Bloom felt like there was a second Apple Bloom in her. She could hear a voice inside of her, a voice that sounded like her own, and yet so different. And sometimes, she lost consciousness without a reason. When she awoke again, she always found herself in a different situation. At different places, at different times, together with different ponies. Often it seemed that she just said something moments ago, but she never remembered what. Or ponies were looking at her with eager faces, like they had just asked a question and expected an answer now. In some of these moments, the ponies that she found surrounding her when waking up were also yelling at her, obviously being angry with her, like she had just done or said something bad. At one day, she woke up beside a broken and completely demolished cart. Irritated, she wanted to run away, but the owner was grabbing her arm and dragged her to Sweet Apple Acres. He told Applejack that she was destroying his cart and demanded to get money back for it. But Apple Bloom couldn't remember anything. She protested, said she didn't do anything, that it was a misunderstanding and somepony else did it. But the owner didn't believe it and called her a liar. And it caused a hoof into her face from Applejack. Her cheek hurt for weeks after that. At another day, she found herself in front of a broken window, a thick branch in her hooves. The pony who lived there wasn't at home and so she ran away as fast as she could. And things like that were just the beginning. With every state of unconsciousness, the moments she awoke in became worse. Two months after the incident with the cart, she woke up at Ponyville Plaza, with a little filly – younger than her – sitting in front of her. It was crying and it's body was cluttered with bruises, scratches and cuts. One of the legs was distorted and pointed in the wrong direction and the filly's forehead was blemished with a laceration. Blood poured out of it in a big stream, flowing over the hoof she covered one of her eyes with and dripping to the ground from there. Yet again, Apple Bloom had no memory how she got there and what happened before. All she knew was that she wanted to help the filly, who's crying touched her. She reached out to the filly with her hooves, but it lashed out and pushed her away. As it had taken down the hooves from it's eyes, Apple Bloom could see that one of them was black and swollen shut. And just moments later, other ponies ran up to them, all agitated and upset and, again, blaming her. Angry and irritated voices reached her ears. “She beat this filly!” “Are you sure she did it?” “Yes, I've seen it!” “What a monster!” “But she was always such a nice filly!” “Get away from my daughter!” “She should be locked away somewhere!” Apple Bloom realized that she was put at fault again and tried to flee from the crowd. But before she could, an angry unicorn hold her frozen at the spot already with it's magic. The mayor was informed about what happened and she was brought to the townhall. She was asked why she did that, what has gotten into her to beat a little filly almost to death, but she couldn't answer these questions. Under tears, she explained that she couldn't remember anything and that she would never hurt somepony. But of course, nopony believed her. After a while, the ponies who witnessed the accident gave up and called Applejack to bring her home. On their way back to Sweet Apple Acres she tried to convince Applejack that she hadn't done anything, but the overwhelming number of ponies who stated to have seen everything were more convincing to her big sister. As they arrived at the farm, Applejack punished her. And on this day, it did not stay with a strong slap in the face. Applejack beat her up. She would get the same what she had done to this poor, little filly, she said to her. To experience how it feels to get beaten up like that. Her big sister threw her to the floor and began to punch and kick her. And she told her what a shame and disgrace she was for the Apple family and the Element of Honesty. As Applejack had finished her punishment, Apple Bloom was in a similar state as the other filly. Only the broken leg was something Applejack had spared her from. After Apple Bloom had recovered from her injuries, she was brought to a psychiatrist. He did all sorts of different tests with her, but could not find anything. According to him, Apple Bloom's mental state was completely fine. He could not explain what caused her blackouts and the violence. The doctor put her on medication and sent her away. It was a simple medication that should sedate her. Since the accident with the filly, everypony except her friends and her family avoided her. And even her family was cautious around her. They did not talk about what happened, but she could feel that they had began to treat her differently, coldly. And Apple Bloom realized that she really did all those things, during her unconsciousness. She could still not explain why, but she knew now that she had to be careful. Apple Bloom hoped that the medication worked to stop her from doing such things and that the ponies in Ponyville would forgive her one day. But neither of those things should happen. The rest of the townsponies did not talk with her, they changed sides when they met her on the streets and in some shops, the owners refused to sell her something. She even got a ban at Sugarcube Corner. And some days ago, Apple Bloom found herself inside of her room, in front of her closed and locked door and her hooves covered in blood. She couldn't tell if it was the blood of a pony or an animal and she did not have any memories on what happened again, but it made her afraid. Afraid of herself, even more so than she already was. Had she beaten up another pony? Or even killed one? Did she become insane? She didn't knew it. All she knew was that her life changed dramatically three months ago, when everything began with nothing more than a demolished cart. And now those letters happened. Apple Bloom rubbed the tears out of her eyes and lifted them on her lap to read them. Behind the door it was quiet now. Her friends had given up and left her alone. The letters were full of death threats. Apple Bloom gasped in shock as she read through them. How could she write something like that? What force drove her to do that? The filly was shocked and scared over her own choice of words. The creepiest thing was, that she didn't even knew some of those insults and swear words that were written on the paper. It was like somepony else wrote that, an evil, violent and aggressive pony. And yet it was clearly her own hoof-writing. Apple Bloom began to cry again. A loud whimper escaped her mouth and she ripped the letters to pieces agitatedly. Then she jumped on her bed and cried in her pillow without hesitation. Why did something like this happen? Destroying things, hurting little fillies, sending other ponies death threats, all without her being conscious about it and without a single memory on her evil deeds. Outcasted by the whole town, even by her own family. And now even her best friends would not stick to her anymore. For what did she deserve all this? She was always a good filly, she never did anything bad! Apple Bloom realized that her life was destroyed. There was nothing worth living anymore. “Ahm goin' to kill myself”, she mumbled in her pillow, her voice tearful. “There is no reason for me to live anymore.....” “There is always reason to live, little filly”, a gentle voice echoed in her head suddenly. Apple Bloom jerked her head up. “Who is talkin' there?”, she asked, her voice trembling from fear. “Someone who understands you”, the voice said. “Pah! No one understands me! Ahm just a monster! Even mah friends hate me now!” “Far be it from me to hate you”, the voice answered. “I'm someone who loves everypony, no matter what it did.” Apple Bloom let herself fall back on her pillow. “Just go away”, she said weakly. “Ah had enough strange voices in mah head.....” But the voice continued. “If something is troubling you, you can talk to me.” “AH SAID YA SHOULD LEAVE!” Apple Bloom jerked up again and took a book from her nightstand. She threw it across her room and against a wall, where it hit with a loud bang before it fell to the ground. “Leave me alone finally!” Some seconds of silence passed. “As you wish”, the voice said and then it was gone. Her outburst let Apple Bloom feel weak. It had used up all her energy. She slipped under her covers and buried her head once more into the soft pillow. Seconds later she was asleep. At the next morning, Apple Bloom didn't even bother to get up. She would not leave her room. Taking the risk to get exposed to the cruel world she lived in again, was something that was out of question. She also did not have the desire to do anything in particular. And it was not like anypony cared anyway, so she decided to just stay in bed. Hours and hours passed as Apple Bloom just lied there, staring up at the ceiling, with a glazed look in her from crying red eyes. Her stomach grumbled but she did not care about it. Maybe she could just lie here and waiting until she had starved. At afternoon, Applejack came at her door. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle returned, trying to talk to her once more, and they had asked Applejack for help to get her out of the room. “Open up the door, ya little varmint!”, the strong, angry-sounding voice of her big sister sounded through the wooden door. But Apple Bloom did not listen. Even if her life wouldn't be destroyed the way it was now, she wouldn't react when Applejack knocked on her locked door. Applejack always hated her. She blamed her for the death of their mom, because she died when she gave birth to her and this made life with her a living hell. She never loved her. Apple Bloom ignored the knocks on the door and the calls for her on the other side until they stopped. Love. Love was something Apple Bloom needed. But nopony gave her love anymore. She thought again on killing herself. Then she suddenly remembered on the voice in her head from yesterday. She knew that the voice was just in her head. Because she was insane. And yet she missed her. The voice told her that she loved everypony, no matter what it did, and this meant the voice loved her too. Apple Bloom did not care that the voice wasn't real and just a figment of her imagination. She should have welcomed her, she realized now, as this voice was the only one who still loved her. The filly began to cry again, thick streams of tears flowing down her cheeks. She shouldn't have sent the voice away! It was there for her and now the only one who still gave her love was gone! She held her hooves to her eyes and a series of sobs, accompanied by heavy breathing, escaped her mouth. “Don't cry, my dear.” Apple Bloom's eyes shot open. The gentle voice had returned! She jumped up in her bed. “Ahm so sorry!”, she cried out. “Ah didn't want to send ya away! Ah was just so angry yesterday!” “I forgive you, my dear”, the voice answered. “Ya won't go away again?”, the distraught filly asked. “No, I will stay at your side no matter what happens if this is what you want.” “Yes! Ah want it! Please stay with me!” “I will. When you need me I'll be here”, the voice assured her. “I can feel that you need someone to talk to.” The filly nodded her head weakly. Then she lied down again. “Ah can”, she said. “Nopony loves me anymore. Everypony hates me, because I have done so many bad things.....” The voice became more soothing now. “What did happen?”, she asked. “Please tell me and I will let your sorrow disappear.” The yellow filly began to tell her story. Beginning with the day she woke up in front of the demolished cart, she told her about every event and described it in detail. It seemed weird to her, because she was aware of it that she was just telling all of this to herself, as the voice was just born from her mind. But the need of having someone who listened to her, who gave her love and attention, was too strong to pass this chance. As Apple Bloom had ended, she became afraid. She knew that the voice said that she loved everypony, but what if she never listened to a pony that had done so many cruel things? “Do ya hate me too now?”, Apple Bloom asked the voice as she didn't say anything to her story. “No, little filly”, the voice answered. “I still love you and I will always love you. And I praise you for your honesty.” Apple Bloom smiled. But then her happiness turned into sorrow. Now what she had the chance to tell someone else what was hurting her so much, she started to realize that talking to herself wasn't helpful to get some comfort. “Ya aren't real, aren't ya?”, she asked. “Ya'll just in mah head, nothin' more, right?” To her surprise, the voice said no. “Then who are ya?”, she asked. “This is something I can't tell you yet”, the voice answered mysteriously. “Why not?” Apple Bloom frowned. “Don't worry, my dear. I will reveal you who I am when the time has come. You are not ready yet.” The voice paused a moment, then she continued. “But I know everything. I also know your name.” “Yeah? Then how is mah name?” “Your name is Apple Bloom. I also know your big sister Applejack and your friends Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. I can see everything that happens in Equestria.” “Really? Everything?” Apple Bloom couldn't believe it. “Yes. I also know that you haven't eaten something since yesterday. You should leave your room and get something in the kitchen. Your family is not here right now and neither are your friends. You can go outside without anypony seeing you.” Apple Bloom was not sure about that, but she decided to trust the voice. She got up and slowly approached her door, careful to not make any sounds. She listened a while at the door, then she unlocked it and opened it. Apple Bloom did a step outside and looked to the right and to the left. She listened for another few seconds, but couldn't hear any sounds. What the voice said was true. Nopony was here. Apple Bloom went into the kitchen to eat. She finished her meal and went back into her room before anypony returned. And even if one member of her family would have returned or Scootaloo or Sweetie Belle would have come again, the voice would have warned her. Apple Bloom knew that now. The voice had turned out as more than she had ever expected. It was no imagination, it was there, and it knew everything that happened. It was her guide and her contact. Better yet, the voice had become her friend. She would never send it away. The voice was her only friend now. From this moment on, the voice visited Apple Bloom daily. Hours and hours were spent with talking by them. Since the voice knew everything that happened in Equestria, she had lots of stories to tell. Some ponies in Equestria really had interesting lifes and Apple Bloom listened with fascination to what the voice had to tell. The voice also continued to help her sneak out of her room and get back into it unseen. She comforted Apple Bloom when she was crying again over her fate and she even sang her to sleep. With every day, Apple Bloom's bond to the invisible friend became stronger and her trust in the voice grew. For three weeks, Apple Bloom's daily schedule was always the same: Waking up, being greeted by the voice, sneaking out of her room after her family left, eating something, returning to her room, listening to the voice's interesting stories and falling asleep at night. After this time, something did change. The voice still told her what happened to different citizens of Equestria, but her stories began to become darker. Where she was at the beginning only telling stories about good friends, happy families, true love and loyalty, to cheer Apple Bloom up, she now also told her stories about all the negative things that happened in Equestria occasionally: Ponies who were lonely and had no friends, ponies who where bullied by other ponies, ponies who were betrayed by the ponies they loved. And with every day, her stories became darker and darker. There was the story about three filly friends in Manehattan who lived on the streets, without a home, and who died from starvation one after another, because nopony did care about them and gave them a good home or at least regular meals. There was the story about the stallion who was left by his marefriend for another stallion and who was so heartbroken about losing her that he hanged himself one day. She heard the story of a little filly that was raped by her daddy every day and the story of the rich family in Fillydelphia that got murdered by unknown burglars. Day after day, the voice told her about the dark sides of Equestria; murderers, rapists, thieves. Cruel and egoistic ponies who only cared about themselves, ponies who let others suffer for their own enjoyment, ponies who hurt other ponies to gain advantage. One day, Apple Bloom asked the voice why it told her about these things. “To show you that you are not the only pony in Equestria that has a hard life, my sweet”, was her answer. “There are many ponies like you. Not all of them have the same problems, but all of them suffer as much as you do.” Apple Bloom thought about what the voice told her. Before her own problems started, she always thought that Equestria was a happy place to live. Sure, she grieved about it that Applejack did not love her, but she had a good life aside from this. And she thought it was the same for everypony in Equestria. But now she had to realize that Equestria was a harsh place for a lot of ponies. “Why do these things happen?”, she asked the voice. “Are Princess Celestia and Princess Luna not doing anything against it?” “I'm afraid they don't do enough”, it answered. It seemed to Apple Bloom that the voice became incisive a little. “The two princesses want the best for Equestria and they care about all of their citizens. But they are also weak. The old divide between them is still existing and this prevents them from helping the ponies who need their help. What Equestria lacks is love, enough love to prevent things like the ones I told you about from happen. But the royal sisters can't bring up this love, because they are too busy with the grudges they hold against each other. Their dispute doesn't let them see Equestria's true problems.” Apple Bloom had listened attentively to what the voice explained. “Ah don't want that so many ponies in Equestria suffer..... Ah wish we could do something to make Equestria better.....” Apple Bloom hung her head and stared sadly at the ground. Then her face lit up. “Can't ya do something to make Equestria better? Ya said ya can see everything that happens in Equestria. Shouldn't ya be able to change something here with all your power?” The voice took on a softer tone again. “Not alone”, she said. “My power is strong, but I can only change something in Equestria for the better if I have a pony who helps me. Do you want to help me, Apple Bloom?” “Me?” Apple Bloom was surprised. “Ah can't even handle mah own, miserable life. What can ah do to make the lifes of other ponies better?” “A lot, my sweet, a lot”, the voice said reassuringly. “Both of us can't do anything alone, but if we combine my power and your strong wish for a better Equestria, then we can create a paradise. A paradise where nopony has to suffer anymore!” Apple Bloom smiled at this thought. A paradise for all ponies..... But was this really possible? “If we create this paradise, do all the terrible things ya told me about not happen anymore?”, the filly asked the voice. “Indeed. All these things will disappear and Equestria will be filled with eternal love and happiness.” “Will mah sister finally love me too then?” “Yes. Even your sister will feel nothing but love, my sweet.” Apple Bloom let that thought settle for a moment. Then she made her decision. She did not want that anypony in Equestria ever had to suffer as much as she did in the past months. If she could bring an end to this, she had to do it! “Ah want to help ya!”, she said curageous. “Tell me what ah should do!” “I will. But first I will show you who I am!” A blinding white light flashed in front of Apple Bloom's eyes and suddenly, her room was gone. She was elsewhere now. Everything around her was bathed in a soft light, the sky above her shining in the most beautiful, purple shades. And it was full of stars. They were everywhere around Apple Bloom, no matter where she looked at. “What is this place? Where are we?”, she asked. “This is a place that only exists in your subconsciousness. Your body is still in your room, but your mind has entered a different dimension”, the voice sounded behind her. Apple Bloom turned around and then she saw for the first time whose voice it was that had accompanied her for so many weeks now. And it was someone she knew, even though she only met her briefly. “Princess Cadence?”, Apple Bloom asked surprised. “Is this really ya?” The pink Alicorn princess walked up to her. “Yes, my sweet. I am the one pony that you only knew as 'The Voice' so far.” Apple Bloom trotted up to Cadence and rubbed her head gently against her chest. “Thank Ya!”, she said. “If ya wouldn't have talked to me, then ah would be dead now. And ah couldn't help to make Equestria better!” “There is no need to thank me. All I want is to make everypony happy and to spread love everywhere.” “Are ya going to tell me now what ah must do to change Equestria?” Apple Bloom was eager to find it out. “I will. But first, there is something you have to realize about yourself”, Cadence explained. “What do ya mean?” The filly looked curiously at her. “Do you remember? You told me that you think there is a second Apple Bloom inside of you.” Apple Bloom nodded. “And you were right. There is another Apple Bloom inside of you and she did all the horrific things you told me about.” Apple Bloom opened her mouth widely from surprise as she heard that. “This means ah haven't done anything. Ahm still a good filly! Right?”, she asked the princess. “Yes. You always were a good filly. You are not responsible for what your evil side did when she took over and controlled your body.” This was the best news Apple Bloom got in the past months of her life. It was the first time since the horror began for her that she could cheer about something. Apple Bloom started to bounce around Cadence happily, expressing all her sudden joy at once. But Cadence reminded her to stop. She sat herself down and Apple Bloom joined her. “There is a hard decision you must made if you want to help me to save this kingdom”, she said. “What decision?”, the filly asked. “In order to make everything better for everypony, we need the help of your evil side. You must give in to the second Apple Bloom inside of you and allow her to take over your body until our mission was successful. It's her strength that we need.” Apple Bloom's eyes grew wide in shock. “But..... ya know what she did! She was hurting other ponies and destroying things! She maybe even killed another pony..... She has done all the things we want to get rid off!” “I know, my sweet”, Cadence replied calmly. “But creating a paradise for everypony requires to make hard decisions. And don't worry, I am very strong and I will take care of it that your evil side will only do what is necessary to create what we want!” Apple Bloom looked to the ground. “Ahm not sure..... If ah give in to her, then ah will disappear. But ah don't want to disappear!” She squeezed her eyes shut. Cadence laughed bell-like. “There is no reason to worry. I will bring you back once our mission is over and the Equestria we want is created. You will disappear now but you will come back in the new Equestria. If you join me, you will never see the cruelty that exists in Equestria now ever again!” Apple Bloom gave no answer. She did not like it how Equestria was and not having to endure this suffering and pain anymore was exactly what she wanted. But even if Cadence and she succeeded, her evil side would still be there, letting her suffer more and becoming a threat for their new and perfect Equestria. “But..... what about mah evil side?”, she asked the alicorn. “Even if we turn Equestria into a paradise, mah evil side will still be there and ah will suffer again.....” Cadence pulled her closer. “If you join my side I will free you of your evil side once we have accomplished our goal.” Apple Bloom looked up to her. “Ya really can do that?”, she asked. “Yes. Once we have created our paradise, the Equestria we wish for, were nopony has to suffer anymore, then I can use all the love we have created to clean you off the evil spirit inside you”, Cadence tempted her. Apple Bloom still hesitated a little. “Do ya promise it?”, she asked the princess. “I promise you to free you of your evil spirit once our work is done.” Cadence looked in her eyes, smiling, her face expressing confidence and benevolence. “Okay. Ah do it”, Apple Bloom agreed finally. “But how do ah get mah evil side to come out?” “You only have to do what I say”, Cadence replied. “I know that you can feel the darkness your other you represents inside of you. Just concentrate on it with all your strength and you will be able to set her free!” Apple Bloom nodded. She looked down at the ground between her hooves and did as Cadence had told her. And it was as she said. She could feel the darkness. Concentrating all her thoughts on it, she felt that the darkness grew bigger inside of her. The feeling made her afraid. She began to shudder. Cadence wrapped one of her wings around her. “Have no fear, my sweet. If you manage it to call your evil side, we will succeed!” Apple Bloom concentrated herself stronger on the evil, dark energy. She heard a voice inside of her, the voice that sounded like her own, but yet somehow different. It was like it was answering on her concentrated thoughts. Then, everything became black for Apple Bloom all of a sudden. Cadence felt it. She looked down to the young filly and her face had changed. It showed a moody, gloomy expression and her eyes rayed out the evil she had hoped to see. The filly yanked her head around at her. “Who are ya?”, she asked. “Why have ya called me?” Now that Apple Bloom was gone, replaced by her evil other self, Cadence's voice turned from gentle and kind to cold. “I have called you because I need your help for a goal I'm striving for. This kingdom we live in is ruled by the wrong princesses. I should have their power and you will help me to claim my place on the throne and to become the legitimate ruler of Equestria.” “Ah work with no one!”, the evil presence beside her made clear. But Cadence just gave her an evil smile, confidence in her eyes. “I know that you will. I know who you are and what you desire. If you help me to get what I deserve, you will have enough opportunities to be yourself. I will be the queen and you my princess and since I will rule over Equestria nopony will stop you from what you want to do. As the new ruler I need somepony who will help me to eliminate my enemies. If you help me, you can kill as much ponies as you want.” The evil presence thought for a moment over what the Alicorn just said. Then a malicious grin adorned her face. “We have a deal”, she said taut. On this day, Apple Bloom finally left her room. Two months had passed since she locked herself inside of it. She opened the door of her room and slowly trotted into the corridor. It was time to get outside into the world again. Time to perform her first task on the path to a new Equestria. For the queen.