X Steps Through The Portal

by Tennis Match Fan


15. Cheese Sandwich

Saturday's morning sun beat down on the boy's dark poncho and matching cowboy hat. His pet rubber chicken sat in a basket on the front of his bike. Any other boy would be ashamed-

I can narrate my own story, thank you very much.

Don't make me do this. Ahem. The mysterious boy-

Let me narrate!

Are you certified?

Totally!

Fine. You can narrate.

Yipee! I mean-

Ahem. I grasped the handles of his bike as I rode down the street.

"This will be so exciting, Boneless!" I exclaimed cheerfully, pulling down my dark hat as I talk to my best friend Boneless.

"I know!" Boneless agreed, just as excited as I was.

Boneless didn't talk.

I felt annoyance that the narrator had interrupted me.

"Boneless is very much alive," I protested.

I never said he wasn't, but those are the rules of narration only stuff you observe-

"Right, I think I found my loophole!" I interrupted the ex-narrator. "Now please leave, I have a story to tell."

... Fine, I'll go.

Ahem.

I know! Boneless agreed inside my head. I make you total sane, don't I?

"Saner than the most insane sane!" I agreed, high fiving his little rubber flipper. "With a slice of cheese on top!" You see, I had gotten my familiar Cheese Sense that morning. My Cheese Sense is a physical reaction based off intuition of events yet to come.

I don't think that's how you should explain it. It has to be subtle, blend into the lines.

"I thought you said you would leave!" I interrupted aloud.

Right. I'm really going now.

I sighed.

"It's just you and me, Boneless," I told him fondly. "Chasing intuition."

You should write a book called "Chasing Intuition", Boneless suggested.

"Terrific idea!" I responded as I turned my bike down another street.

Do you think we're almost there, Cheese?

"Any moment now. I can feel my Cheese Sense getting stronger!" I told him confidently. I was totally hyped for whatever was to come. This certain Cheese Sense sensation was a rumbling in my tummy like I had way too much grilled cheese with way to much butter, but this sensation was different because it didn't come with nausea. Currently, my Cheese Sense had been getting more and more intense with each yard I pedaled.

Suddenly, it stopped.

"Woah!" I cried, screeching my bike to a halt.

Where are we? Boneless wondered. I looked up at the building I had stopped in front of.

"It seems to be some sort of school," I observed, noticing the giant sign that said, "Welcome to Canterlot High School."

"Maybe this place needs a party," I suggested to Boneless. I left my bike lying on the grass as I jogged towards the High School. I don't go to high school. I actually finished college just last year. It seems far-fetched, I know. But when you have a mother like my mother...

Ahem. I was jogging to the school, Boneless beside me, when a pink girl popped up out of nowhere.

"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie!" She exclaimed cheerfully, performing a cartwheel.

"Hiya!" I responded without missing a beat. "I'm Cheese Sandwich!" I blew into a kazoo I had taken from my pocket.

"So, what are you doing here?" Pinkie Pie asked, grabbing my hand and spinning me around.

"I'm following my Cheese Sense!" I told her as we spun. "It's a physical reaction-"

"-based off intuition of events yet to come!" Pinkie Pie finished. "I know, I have a Pinkie Sense too!"

"How awesome!" I answered immediately. "So as I was saying, I'm following it. I'm sensing adventure!" Pinkie Pie gasped.

"I totally know what your adventure is!" She exclaimed. "Follow me!" Pinkie Pie jumped onto a large statue that was about two feet away from us.

"What's a big statue got to do with adventure?" I asked, slightly confused. Pinkie giggled. A snort escaped her mouth.

"You step through it, silly!" She explained.

"Sounds good!" I grinned at her. I would have referred a little bit more detail, but I trusted this girl enough. I could already sense a kindred party spirit in her.

"Bye, Pinkie Pie!" I told her, waving as I approached the portal.

"Bye, Cheese Sandwich!" Pinkie Pie sing-songed, waving. I grabbed Boneless, and together the two of us stepped through the portal.

It felt like Cheese used some bad language you would not expect move along.

Cheese Sandwich! I did not expect you of all people to use such language!

I grinned sheepishly, now out of the portal.

"Sorry. That was the only way I could describe it."

By using bathroom talk.

"Please stop interrupting," I told the ex-narrator, bluntly reminding her she was an ex-narrator, and this was my story now.

Ahem. Cheese Sandwich definitely wasn't at high school anymore. He was in some sort of glass or crystalline room. A purple mirror stood behind Boneless and me.

But what really shocked me was myself. I stared into the glass and observed my reflection. I still had my brown curly hair, as well as my black poncho and hat. But the body...

"I'm a pony, Boneless!" I shouted gleefully. "I'm in a pony's paradise!"

Totally awesome! Boneless responded inside my head. What are you going to do first in your new form?

"Hmm..." I tapped my chin with my hoof thoughtfully. "I know! I'll decorate this place!"

Sounds like a plan! Boneless agreed. I have the streamers!

"Goody!" I rubbed my new hooves together in anticipation. "Let's get to work!"

I worked over the next few seconds hanging up streamers and balloons and party games and all that good good stuff.

"There!" I proclaimed when I was finished two moments later. "What do you think, Boneless?" My rubber chicken observed the decorations.

Whoever's house this is will be in for an awesome surprise party! Boneless clucked.

"I know, buddy!" I high-hoofed him. "Do you think we should stay?"

Nah, you should go talk to Pinkie Pie, Boneless suggested. After all, you did sense a kindred spirit in her!

"You have the best ideas, Boneless!" I told him. "Let's go!" We left the party to rejoin Pinkie Pie in the human world.

The portal was very... unusual.

When I got out, Pinkie Pie was still there.

"Hey! You wanna talk about parties?" She asked.

Sounds awesome!" I grinned.
A sick Twilight Sparkle exited her bedroom dressed in a fluffy bathrobe. She sniffled as she surveyed her crystal castle.

"Wha?" She murmured, looking at the balloons strewn about. "I'm gonna go back to bed." Twilight shut the door.