Rainbow Dash (And Friends) Totally Awesome Radical Ponyville Adventure
By Alex Warlorn
Edited By Louis Badalament
I'm hanging at totally awesome amusement park with a starry sky above and rockin' music playing.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders are hitting the video arcade. Rarity and Pinkie Pie are checking out the house of mirrors. AJ is bobbing for apples.
Me and Fluttershy check out the haunted house, and I did not run out scared while she walked out unimpressed. Maybe she said something about all the time treating hurt animals makes fake blood and stuff look too fake.
Hey! Twilight! Been looking everywhere for ya! What kept ya? Nice smile, but say something already. Well if ya wanna shake, that's fine by me! I-!... She turns to sand the moment I touch her, the moment the sand hit the ground, everything but me turns to sand. It all falls down and makes a desert. I'm...I'm all alone.
I don't jump out of bed or scream, I just blink my eyes open. Geeze. What a dream. Okay, really a nightmare, but that was just weird.
Whatever, it's time to greet the day!
Oooooh yeeeeeahhh! Iiiit's me! Rainbow Dash!
Get ready! Because this is gonna be the most totally awesome of my adventures! I tell a lie, all my adventures are the most totally awesome!
Okay, let's do this!
So there I was, taking a nice morning dip in the clouds getting ready for the day, I was just finishing when suddenly! there was a huge roar over Ponyville!
It's a huge red dragon, towering over the houses, his wings spread out and blotting out the sky! On his hind legs he beats his chest and roars again!
"Ponies of Ponyville! Surrender your gems to me! Or be destroyed!"
"Not my sweet jewels!" Rarity cried out, "We have to do something!"
"Oh my, that IS a big and scary dragon," Fluttershy said.
"We'll win. Because we're friends!" Twilight smiled and nodded.
"Ya betcha, Sugercube." Applejack pulled down on her hat.
"Well, let's get this party started!" Pinkie Pie cheered.
"That's fine by me!" I zoomed in front of the others!
Twilight Sparkle trotted forward, looking up at the huge dragon.
"How about we stop and discuss things, Mr. Dragon? So we can be friends!" Twilight smiled and nodded. The dragon would have stepped on her if AJ hadn't grabbed her with her rope and pulled her back. "Maybe we can be friends later?"
AJ threw her lasso around the dragon's toes trying to trip him over; he just stretched his toes and broke her lasso in two.
Pinkie Pie pulled a big stack of packages out of nowhere. "Hey! How about some presents?! They're a lot more fun than a bunch of jewels!"
"I'll take both!" The dragon scooped up the presents.
"Hey! That's no fair!" Pinkie Pie pulled out her party cannon and aimed and fired, but the dragon stuck his finger in it and the cannon blew up instead. Pinkie Pie's blackened mane stood on ends. "Ah, phooey."
"I say, that was most uncalled for! You should be ashamed of yourself! You apologize right now! That was not proper at all!" Rarity scolded. The dragon breathed smoked at her that she was able to dodge, saving her mane. "My word! I have half a mind to write that dragon's mom a long letter!" Rarity grumbled.
"I don't think he has a mom," Pinkie Pie said.
"That's so sad," Fluttershy said.
"You know just for fun, I think I'll spare all the foals at the orphanage the pain of not having a mom while I'm here! Bwa ha ha ha!" laughed the dragon.
"No! What are we going to do?" Fluttershy cried out covering her head.
"Don't worry everypony! I've got this!" I zoomed up and kicked 'im in the face! Ka-pow! The big jerk roared but I wasn't scared one bit of his dental work! He snapped his jaws trying to catch me, but I kicked him again in the snout knocking jaw closed, biting his tongue.
He reached out with his claws, trying to slash but I slip around them, no prob!
"What's the matter, slowpoke? Can't catch one little old horsefly?"
The dragon breathed smoke at me again, but I generated a whirlwind and send them back the way they came down his throat. The big jerk begins coughing and gagging and give him a good Heimlich to the gut! "RAINBOOOOW PUNCH!"
I flew up and double kicked him in the chest, and then gave him a buncha punches, one after the other! Powpowpowpow! The dragon fell back from my totally intense onslaught!
The big loser tried to swat me away with his tail, but was just too slow! "RAINBOW-KICK!" I gave him one more big bang in the throat and he fell over backwards!
"Oh my! What violence!" Fluttershy said.
The dragon fell neatly between the buildings on Ponyville's main street, not hitting anypony.
"Alright, time to finish you off!" I said grinning.
"Now girls! Formation!" Twilight cheered and clapped.
Rarity helpfully hoofed me my thunder axe.
The others got behind me, and I plugged my thunder axe into a nearby thunder cloud.
Then I began to shred 'im!
The others called behind yours truly!
"Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!"
"First you see me riding on a sonic rainboom
Got my friends shreddin' up my latest tune
There is nothin' you can do to beat me
I'm so good that you can't defeat me!"
Storm clouds began to form above us as I rocked out. The dragon squirming before me.
"Yeah, I'm awesome, take caution
Watch out for me, I'm more awesome than you can be!"
Lightning struck around the dragon making him quiver under my total awesomeness!
The dragon whimpered and he began shrinking.
Ponies cheered as I played!
"Step aside now, you're just gettin' in my way
I got cool moves you could never hope to stay
When it comes to makin' thunder, I'm the ruler
You wish you could be twenty percent cooler"
The others clapped along as the storm turned in a huge swirl above us.
"There's nothing you can hope to bear,
I'm your worst nightmare!!"
Rainbow-colored lightning struck behind me in seven colors. The dragon kept shrinking.
"Yeah I'm awesome, take caution
Watch out for me, I'm awesome as I wanna be!"
I struck the last cord, and the dragon freaked out of his head at the sheer badflankitude that is Rainbow Danger Dash!
I scared 'em right down to the size of a little mouse! Ha! I bet the dumb dragon didn't know the whole 'dragon size is based on how they feel' could be used against 'em! I'm just a little bit too smart for em! Okay, WAY too smart for 'em!
"DON'T HURT ME!" cowered the dragon as I grinned down at 'em. The ponies cheered at me beating the big nasty!
"Hurting others isn't nice, so course we won't do that," Twilight smiled and nodded.
AJ didn't say anything.
"Ooooooh! He's soooo cute!" Pinkie Pie grinned. "In a little, tiny, tinny fire breathing dragon sort of way!"
"Don't worry, I'll take care of him." Fluttershy said as she scooped up the dragon and placed in a jar while poking hole in the top. "Now you don't have to worry about anything. Rarity, can I have a jewel?"
"Of course, dear."
Fluttershy took the gem and fed to the tiny dragon, who began gnawing on it.
"7th Saga - 18 - Great Achievement"
So afterwards, Ponyville was having a parade in my, our honor. Yeah! Of course for me and my friends, of course they helped too.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders, Mayor Mare, Lyra and Bon Bon, everypony is cheering for us!
"Help!" Cheerilee screamed; some creep in a ski mask just stole her saddlebag!
I flew into action! "Don't worry! Your friendly neighborhood Rainbow Dash is-"
Then some jerk in a cheap hat and cape dives in and grab the guy before I can finish my line!
The crowd knows bad form when they see it and boo the jerk for stealing my heroics!
The jerk didn't expect that and looks around confused as he holds the thief in one hoof.
I flew down and unmask the jerk and the thief. The two are identical-looking.
"Okay, you losers! What's the deal?"
"We're sorry! We just thought if my brother did the stealing and I did the stopping we could get on your gravy train!" said the one without the mustache.
"Psh! Yeah, right! I'm Ponyville's number one hero and don't you forget it!"
The two losers ran away as fast as their hooves could carry them, dropping Cheerilee's purse.
The crowd cheers and my friends clap as I fly after and give the losers a good scare for trying to steal my thunder. Then Mayor Mare has the guards take them away. Okay! Back to the parade for me and my friends!
Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara tried to drop a hornet's nest on drop of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, but they slipped and it fell on them instead. We all had a good laugh at the two brats getting their just desserts. Where were we? Oh yeah!
Even after the parade, we all continued celebrating my rescue of the town. The Cakes smiled and handed out pastries for free as Rarity snipped some steaming hot tea.
"Could be a little warmer," she remarked. I never understood other mares and their tea.
"Hey, Twili," AJ asked, "How RD's music cause that dang darn dragon to shrink, anyhow?"
"Oh I can answer that!" Fluttershy waved a hoof. "How a big a dragon is, is based on their feelings. They're really big when they FEEL really big! Rainbow Dash's music made him small because she made him feel small!"
"That's right, friend!" Twilight smiled and nodded.
Applejack stared, looked like she wanted to say more, but as soon as she opened her mouth she grabbed a bottle of hard cider and began chugging it. Can't blame her, can you?
Yeah. We were all having a good time!
The Cutie Mark Crusaders were there too celebrating seeing how awesome I'd been, and their latest Cutie Mark Crusaders We Won't Get Our Cutie Marks For It But We'll Try Really Hard Anyway project.
They're blockheads for not realizing their special talents already, but they're so cute trying everything. It's actually hard to imagine 'em not doing everything they can think of for those marks. Look at 'em cutely chatting away for their next big thing, stealing glances at yours truly, heh. They know a role model when they see one. And here comes Sweetie Belle, that an autograph book? No? Then what I do I care? Books are for eggheads.
"Excuse me, Miss Twilight?"
"Hello, Sweetie Belle," Twilight smiled and nodded.
"Bright Night asked me to return this book to you."
"Return it?" Twilight smiled and nodded.
"She borrowed it for a school project she said."
"Oh yes. Tell her, 'thank you for returning the book, that is what you should do with books, that's what friends do.'" Twilight smiled and nodded.
Twilight, being Twilight took the book and began reading it.
Sweetie Belle stood there for a bit waiting for egghead to say 'thank you'. Not getting one, she went back to her friends. Rarity smiled at her as she trotted past.
"Twilight you should say thank you," Rarity scolded. Twilight didn't respond. Typical egghead, she was like a statue as she read that stupid book, smiling and starring, not moving a muscle, whatever. Let's party! Punch! Cake! Music! Dancing! Oh yeah!
"Twilight, you should enjoy the party," Fluttershy said. Egghead didn't respond. "Twilight Sparkle," Fluttershy tapped her, "Please enjoy the party?"
The egghead still prefers books to friends, typical. Poor Fluttershy, bless her soul, blinks confused. After too long Twilight finally blinks and looks at her.
"You're right Fluttershy, I should, it's been way too long since I celebrated with friends." She nodded and smiled.
She put the book under her foreleg and trotted up to me and Pinkie and held out her hoof.
"Pinkie Pie… Rainbow Dash… would you please dance with me?" She asked like she was worried we'd vanish in a tick.
"Like, duh! Of course!" Pinkie grinned and pulled her into a Pinkie Pie original.
I joined in and provided air support!
Twilight twirled on one hoof, and high-hoofed Pinkie.
"See? Isn't this fun, Twilight?" Pinkie asked.
"Yes yes yes, it is." Twilight said and made an weird wistful chuckle.
So yeah, me, Twilight and Pinkie did some slick moves! I think Twilight was enjoying it the most. Rarity was dancing together with Sweetie, and the Apple sisters were doing the same.
Hm? The pegasus Crusader?
Huh? Oh! She was talking with Fluttershy! 'Shy was nicely asking where she lived, what she liked and didn't like, what her hobbies were, what she thought of me, heh. Shy, on the other hoof, was being asked how the stare worked, how far away it work, if it worked in different kinds of weather, heh, somepony's got a fan.
The party wound down, and it was about time for some sleep for me after a hard day of saving the day! Ha!
I was outside when Twilight tapped me on the shoulder.
"Rainbow Dash, you did a wonderful job today, and I think you deserve a little reward." Twilight smiled, shifting from her right to left hooves. She lowered her head, hiding her eyes behind her mane. I stared at what she held up in her hoof.
"Wow! Is that-is that?"
"An official jeweled Wonderbolt Pin. You want one, don't you? I happened to find it laying around in some abandoned junk, and thought you could use it most."
'Around in junk?' Yeah, right! These things were collector's items! Ha!
"Thanks, Twilight! You're the best!" I put it on over my heart.
"Rainbow Dash," Twilight whispered in my ear, "I was wondering, could you take me up a bit, so I can do a little stargazing? Please?"
"Well, don't let it be said that Dash turned down a friend." So I flew Twilight on my back up, up, and away for a perfect view of the night sky.
And I had a perfect view of Ponyville. I wonder what happened to that freaky studio Pinkie Pie used to have. I can't remember what we did in there, but it was fun.
It was a beautiful sight, even at night, now I get why Princess Luna threw a tantrum when ponies never looked at it, the lands beyond Ponyville were like a pretty painting.
"So Rainbow Dash, you were awesome taking care of the dragon today."
"Of course I was." I grinned.
"It was even more fun than the first time."
"Remember? When all that black smoke covered Equestria? And the Princess sent us to deal with it? You attacked the dragon head-on, and it cowered before you."
"Yeah, it sure did!"
"You certainly didn't run away, did you?"
"He was too slow for you."
"Jerk didn't even touch me."
"Too bad the rest of us couldn't help."
"Hey. Not every situation calls for the talents everypony has."
"And you felt proud of Fluttershy facing her fear of dragons to use the Stare on a full grown adult DRAGON to save you, me, and the others?"
"Heh, yeah, it was nice seeing her grow a spine for...huh?"
"Something wrong, Rainbow Dash? You certainly did a lot better this time than your first time fighting an adult dragon."
"I...Uuuugh! I just… yeah, that was my first time facing a dragon! And we had to travel all that way to fight 'im!"
"Yes. We did. And Fluttershy after facing her fears once, couldn't do it again to keep a big fight from happening because...?"
"She can't control when the stare happens! Everypony knows that! And a dragon popping up right in the middle of Ponyville! It clearly got her scared!"
"...I guess that makes sense. Sorry, Rainbow Dash. I didn't mean to tease. You're coolest pony there is."
"So Rainbow Dash, your birthday is next month, right?"
"Huh? Oh right! Yes it is! It's also the day I moved to Ponyville! Cool, huh?"
"Yes, it is. So how many years has it been since you moved to Ponyville, Rainbow Dash?"
"What? Well, it's been a long time."
"Sorry. Let's make this an easier question, how many years has it been since I moved to Ponyville?"
"I..."I held my head. "I...what does it matter? You're here now."
"So how OLD are you going to be on you birthday? Certainly you can tell me that." Twilight said politely.
"I'm...I'm gonna be...I'm gonna be…"
"How many Hearth Warming Eve Plays have we done together? How many times have you raced and won with Applejack at the Running of the Leaves? There's no way you'd lose count of that last one."
I gritted my teeth. Suddenly, these questions were too intrusive, and I hated what she was saying. Because it was right! There WAS NO way I'd ever forget that! So why couldn't I remember it?! And why did I feel like something bad was going to happen if I did?!
"Sorry," Twilight said sadly, giving me a nuzzle. "I didn't mean to upset you Rainbow Dash, no no no. Let's try something else. Have you sent in your application to the Wonderbolt Academy yet?"
"The Wonderbolt Academy, so you could train to-"
"I know what it is!"
"Well, have you? Are you waiting for the reply? Are you still filling out the paperwork?"
Passing the class in Wonderbolt Academy was one of the first steps to becoming a Wonderbolt. How the heck could I have forgotten about it?! Why hadn't I thought of it in...in I can't remember?
"I...I don't remember."
"Maybe you're...you're just distracted." Twilight said sounding reluctant. "Maybe you should...go play a video game or read a comic?...When did you last get any new ones?"
I felt relief wash over me. "Just last week."
"So...they were new releases? When did the latest issues of your favorite comic or new copy of your favorite game come out?"
"All of them? For how long?"
"I..." I felt my head about to crack open, and even a bit of anger at Twilight for her endless stream of questions.
I heard Twilight sigh sadly. "My mistake. I'm so sorry, Rainbow Dash. I don't like seeing any of you unhappy."
"Twilight, what are you-"
Twilight hopped off my back and landed on the street, still holding her book, well, she had to return it the library. She looked up at me. "I'm sorry, Rainbow. Maybe you should sleep on it. It doesn't do any good to think about things when you're tired."
"No way, you asked ME to fly you up, and you're the one who just...just...I don't know what! You don't do that to somepony and then tell them to sleep on it!"
"You aren't going to find any answers with me, Rainbow Dash, only questions. I never said I had the answers."
"Then who does?!"
"That's something else you're going to have to figure out. All I can say is that the one you're looking for is somepony close and important to you. And you ARE going to need all the strength you can get to handle those answers. I'm sorry."
"Enough with the mythical mumbo jumbo!"
"I'm sorry for upsetting you, Rainbow Dash."
"If you're really sorry, then tell me what's going on!"
"You've realized something is wrong, but the only pony can figure out WHAT is wrong is you and you alone, Rainbow Dash. You're the one everything hinges on. Think about it. That's all I have to tell you, I'm sorry."
She sighed, breathed in a shudder, did she get mist on her face? She grinned at me. "Oh, I see, so you're saying Rainbow Dash can't find the answers on her own? Well, I guess that's too bad. I guess you're just not smart enough."
A minute ago, it was a billion sorrys, now she was called me stupid?
"Hey! I'm plenty smart!"
"Prove it." She sneered.
I growled, she wanted to be a jerk? Fine! "Fine! I will! I-" I yawned. Celestia I really was tired. "First thing in the morning."
I considered tossing the pin, but no, it was an Official Wonderbolts Pin, and it had been a gift from Twilight, even if she was being a complete jerk right now!
I retreated back to my cloud castle, not a living thing home except for me. That suited me just fine right now I...I need to lie down, I needed sleep.
I dreamed that I was making dresses, and Rarity was a filly playing around on roller skates. This annoying group of teenage mares came in. A pudgy mare wanting a dress to show off her curves. A spoiled girl demanding something with lots of sequins for her battle of the bands. The one with her nose in a book said anything practical would do. The one with the heart cutie mark didn't want one that would show too much fur. The tomboy wanted to know if I had anything in 'pirate.' The unconfident one asked in a low voice for a breezie winged ballerina dress. The last one looked real familiar, like I'd seen her before recently. She wanted a dress in pink and black? Blech. Who says the customer is always right?
"Don't worry, Rainbow Dash," Twilight Sparkle said putting a welcome hoof on my shoulder. "We can work it all out when we're all together."
Then a huge mouth opened, wrapped its tongue around her, and pulled her inside, I flew in after her, and its teeth closed down on us.
I woke up with a gasp. Ugh.
Nope. Yesterday wasn't just a dream. My comics, my games, why didn't I notice it before? My comics and games are the newest there are, but there haven't BEEN any new ones for sale...I can't remember when they stopped selling new ones.
Sigh. I remembered what Twilight said, somepony close and important to me huh?
I flew to what counted as Ponyville's local weather office, and told them I'd be taking the day off.
Raindrops narrowed her eyes. "Great, that is just-" then she shook her head. "That's just fine Rainbow Dash, I'm happy to know you trust in us to get the job done."
"You can count on me!" Thunderlane saluted.
"We'll make sure Derpy isn't let near any thunder clouds," Cloud Kicker joked. Dumb one Derpy wasn't even on the weather team officially.
Cloudchaser and Flitter puts hooves around each other's shoulders, "You can count on us too."
"Whatever you say, captain."
Well that was easy. Almost too easy. Since when has anything been 'too easy' for the Dash? I'm so good I make everything look easy. Ugh! Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
"Okay guys...thanks." I flew off.
Somepony close to me had the answers. Alright. No pony is closer than my friends.
My first stop was Applejack's.
Granny Smith was in her rocking chair, Apple Bloom would be at school, and Big Mac just silently bucked apples and carrying them to the barn. As for AJ, she's doing what she's always doing, bucking apples.
"Can I ask ya something?"
"Ya just did. And sure ya can."
"Well..." Okay how do I put this? Wish I could skip this part. "Have you gotten the feeling of things being, ya know, in a rut? I mean like, things always being the same?"
"That's pretty much a farmer's life, Rainbow, every day is hard work, every day is long work, but there's a satisfaction to it Ah don't get anywhere else."
"Yeah right...I gotcha, but...I mean like…" I groaned. "Like not being able to remember how many times you've done something, even when it's super-important."
"Ya know Ah'm not into numbers RD, I work in the here and now."
"AJ I'm having trouble remembering things, important things."
"Ya serious?" AJ stopped and looked at me. She put down the buckets and looked me in the face. "Maybe ya outta see a doctor, Rainbow. That's darn serious."
"Applejack, I'm not brain-damaged!"
"Rainbow!" AJ said, worry all over her face. "Ah KNOW ya hate admittin' somethin's wrong, but this ain't time for yer ego."
"Applejack it's MORE than that! It's like, it's like, I don't know what! It's all crazy! Things aren't adding up!"
"Rainbow, listen to yerself. If ya go on like this, somepony IS gonna think yer crazy. What gotcha so revved up about this? Ya were fine last night. What happened?"
"I...that is...I was resting on some clouds by myself, after the party, thinking some, and suddenly I was able to put it all together? It was like lightning struck my brain."
I realized I'd just lied to the Element of Honesty. Applejack narrowed her eyes at me, I felt like they were beginning to bore into me, and suddenly she grabbed a bottle of hard cider that had been to the side and chugged it all down. She let go of the empty bottle, getting drunk a lot faster than I ever thought Miss Earth Pony Second Place Iron Mare could.
"If ya say so, Rainbow Dash. Sure, that makes sense. Uh, what were we talkin' 'bout again?" AJ asked wavering on her hooves, Big Mac ignoring us and just kept up the applebucking.
AJ tried to buck a tree and missed by a mile. "Uh, nothing AJ." I took AJ inside before she hurt herself and laid her on the couch.
Next stop: Sugarcube Corner.
"Hey, Dashie!" Pinkie Pie said, the Cakes baking in the back.
"Hello, Pinkie Pie."
"I'm...I'm just goin' around town, checking things out. How about you?"
"Oh! I'm getting ready for the Cutie Mark Crusaders Anniversary party! It's gonna be great! But it'll be even greater if you're there too, Dashie! Can ya come? Can ya? Can ya?"
"Uh, sure, Pinkie Pie," I said awkwardly.
"Great to hear, Dashie! Do you think you could do some 'too cool' moves for them? You know how everypony loves yours moves! You gotta, ahem, show 'em yer moves!"
At least Pinkie Pie was still acting normal. "Sure Pinkie."
"Awesome!" Pinkie Pie declared hopping up and down.
A sack of flour tittered off the top shelf, I didn't warn Pinkie Pie out of habit with her. It hit her dead center, her head spun and she shook the flour off. "Sorry about that Dashie, didn't put it away as well as I thought I did."
My eyes widened in disbelief at what I just saw. Something had fallen on Pinkie Pie?! "Pinkie...what happened your Pinkie Sense?!"
"It's funny you should mention my Pinkie Pie sense, I haven't had a twitch in...well a long while. . . even when I should have one." Mrs. Cake came out with a tray of rainbow colored cupcakes, the swinging door smacked Pinkie Pie's behind. "Owie!...Dashie I'm scared, wait, no I'm not, I'm happy! I've got a big party to plan for! It's the Cutie Mark Crusaders' Anniversary! Yay!" She grinned at me as Mrs. Cake went back in the kitchen without missing a beat.
My heart was racing. Pinkie's pushing her grinning face in mine.
"Uh, Pinkie Pie I gotta go!"
"Okie Dokie, Lokie!"
I flew out of there as fast as my wings could take me. What the buck was wrong with me?
Was I the one going crazy after all? Ugh! Don't think that way! You're the Dash! Whatever's wrong it isn't you!
Without even thinking about it, before I even knew it, I was knocking on Fluttershy's door.
"OH! Uh… hello Rainbow Dash." She peaked out behind her mane, opening the door for me a crack.
"Fluttershy," I breathed in and out. "Can I come in?"
"Of course you can, Rainbow! Come right in!" She smiled and opened the door wide. We sat on the couch, drinking tea, yes, everything was fine.
"So Rainbow Dash, please tell me what's on your mind." Fluttershy asked. Fluttershy's herbal tea made things easier.
"What's in this tea?"
"Just some light chamomile. It should help you relax."
"Oh, okay." I smiled and nodded. I saw Fluttershy was glancing out the windows.
"Fluttershy, is everything okay with you?"
"It's just..." She lowered her head. "When you're worried like this, Rainbow Dash...it makes me worried. If you're worrying, the it must be something bad. And I don't know if I'll be even able to help."
I patted her on the shoulder. "It's okay, Fluttershy, of course you'll be able to help. You're part of the team, remember? And you're my oldest friend since Junior Speedsters."
"Thank you, Rainbow Dash." She nuzzled me. "Now tell me please what's wrong."
"Well...I kinda been stuck waiting forever for the next issue of my comics AND for the newest video games, not to mention the movies now that I think about it." UGH! Those...those same movies had been playing at the theater forever. And I couldn't remember WHEN they started playing. I held my head.
"Rainbow, are you hurt?" Fluttershy wrapped a wing around me.
"I'm, I'm fine, Fluttershy. It's just...Pinkie Pie's Pinkie Sense is on the fritz, AJ can't hold her cider and-- and I'm just worried about them."
"Oh! Oh my! That is serious! I'm sorry, Rainbow! I had no idea! I'm sorry! They're my friends too! I should have noticed too!"
"Don't beat yourself up Shy, I didn't spot it either remember? Well, it's more like...I didn't notice it before. So we know something's wrong."
Fluttershy meekly nodded.
The Dash is never scared. "What am I supposed to do Fluttershy?"
"Rainbow Dash, please don't be scared. We're all together, and that means everything will turn out alright." Fluttershy smiled, stroking my mane. "After all, we have you, our hero."
"Pinkie Pie and Applejack are going to be alright, but I need you to believe that too Rainbow Dash, if you can't, how will anypony else?"
"Good." She hugged me. "If something bad is happening to the others, we better send a letter to the Princesses."
"Eh?" That...made sense. But we hadn't really done something like that before. But, it made sense, right?
"If something bad has happened to them, something bad might happen to us. So we better tell the Princesses."
She put her hoof on mine. "I'll send the letter. In the meantime, we better not do anything out of the ordinary. Nothing suspicious. Nothing disruptive. Just act like everything is normal. And everything will be fixed up in no time, isn't that right?" She smiled at me warmly, not taking her eyes off me. "Want a cookie?" She suddenly held up a plate.
"Uh...maybe just one! Or two!" I grabbed them and stuff them in my mouth. "Uh bettah goh!"
"Bye-bye, Dash, have a nice day!"
I waved and flew off. What. Had that been about?
Applejack. Pinkie Pie. Fluttershy.
Was it pod ponies? Like that one sci-fi flick I saw with dad, way back when…
No creativity, no new games, movies or comics. Stealing memories so I don't remember stuff. Ponies acting weird, because the invaders didn't get all the details right. Did it all really fit? Was I really dealing with aliens?!
Calm down Dash! Calm down!
Pod ponies wouldn't have Applejack hitting the hard cider. And pod ponies wouldn't have Twilight dare me into finding out what was going on. Plus Twilight was enjoying herself dancing at the party way too much to be a pod pony, everypony knows that behind their perfect mimicry of ponies, that Pod ponies are emotionless.
...Unless that dance had been part of the mimicry...
Sigh. So somepony close to me has the key to figuring stuff out huh? Next friend on my list… Oh boy.
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
"Welcome to the Carousel Boutique where-oh hello Rainbow Dash!" She practically teleported next to me. "Are you here for a new dress at last? I knew you'd come to your senses sooner or later. You remember the dress I made you for the Gala, yes? There is nothing 'uncool' with looking beautiful, Rainbow Dash. Now I'm certain I still have your measurements, but if you think you've grown some-"
"RARITY! I'm not here for a dress!"
"Oh..." Her ears wilted and she lowered her head looking up at me. "I'm terrible sorry! I don't know what came over me! A good business mare never forces her customers, or friends like that. I was just, happy to see you."
"Rarity you see me all the time."
"Yes yes, but, not here at the boutique. I love Sweetie Belle with all my heart, but she's been my only company for a while here. I...Seeing you got me excited. And, I assumed you were here for a new dress....I..." Her eyes widened. "It's been a while since I had a walk-in customer."
"Huh? Business is bad?"
"No...not really, I'm still getting plenty of orders from out of town, but it's been forever since I had a pony come in personally. And, it's nice to meet with friends one on one once in a while."
I tilted my head. "What about your weekly spa get-togethers with Fluttershy?"
"My...I...I haven't...done that in, a long time." Rarity held her head, sitting on a nearby couch. "I don't know why. We didn't break them off... we just... stopped."
I didn't know what to say. What was I supposed to say?
"Rarity, when did the customers stop coming in? When did you and Fluttershy stop see each other?"
Yeah, I should have asked more questions with the others too, but I got freaked-out. Was that really loyal? Moonsent.
"I..." Rarity eyes widened. "I can't remember. I can't remember when I last...Oh Celestia!" Rarity rushed to a desk and pulled out some drawers with a bunch of fancy drawings and numbers on them. "It can't be."
"Rarity? What is it?" I don't speak dress designs.
"My customers...they've been asking for the same style and design since...well, I'm not sure. But this doesn't make sense."
"Yeah. Who needs that many dresses?"
"You don't understand, Rainbow Dash! Tastes and what's 'in' and 'out' in fashion changes constantly! My designs are brilliant, of course, and beautiful, and lovely, but the point is, that even they shouldn't have been able to stay 'in' for as long as...well, however long it's been. Why didn't I think of this before?"
"Join the club." I sighed. I told her about today. Applejack. Pinkie Pie. Fluttershy. The weather team. The video games, movies and comics.
"That makes no sense at all," Rarity said, "The entertainment business could never stay afloat if it didn't release anything new. And...I GO to the theater, I've...been watching the same show every week?" Rarity looked dizzy. "Uuugh. Rainbow Dash, what is wrong with everything? Have things been repeating for you too?"
"I...I can't really say they have. There's always a new adventure we have. A new baddie to beat up. A new quest we have to go on. A new chance for everypony to see how awesome I can be. A new way to show off how radical I am."
"And Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy, you say they were ...acting odd?"
"They sure seemed that way to me. Weird that I didn't NOTICE before."
"We had to go tell Twilight!"
"Twilight? Why Twilight?"
"Why? She's Celestia's student after all. She's the most powerful unicorn in Equestria. She brought us all together. She-"
"Yeah, yeah, I know her resume as well as you do! I just… Twilight doesn't seem to've..."
"...She indeed doesn't seem to have done much lately has she? That...isn't like her. At all."
"Well, her magic and brains aren't the solution every time. It's not like Little Miss Perfect is gonna save the day EVERY time."
"But...aren't YOU saving the day every time now?"
"I...I didn't really think about that." But now that I was, it seemed I'd gotten to be the hero so many times in Ponyville, I'd lost track. I flapped down to the floor and slumped down.
"You really need to learn when to act and when to think dear. You can't live your life constantly in action. But we really should go see Twilight, if anypony is going to have answers. It's her."
There was no way I was going back to seeing Twilight, just so she could ask me, 'Have you got the answers yet?' And have to tell her no. She told me to prove I could find the answers, and I was gonna and knock her off her high egghead pedestal! But I couldn't tell Rarity that.
"That's just it," I said, "She hasn't done anything magical or big since we can last remember, right? You said that isn't like Twilight. She's like the others then. She'll likely go zombie."
"But wouldn't it prudent to least check up on her? To check her books for answers if nothing else? She's still, I dare say, the smartest pony in Equestria. She might be able to figure out what's going on."
Stupid logic, think! "Well if she's under whatever's going on, what if there's some kinda failsafe or something if we push to hard? And next thing you know she's pointing at us and giving some weird alien scream or something to attract the baddie?"
"...You've seen Invasion of the Pony Snatchers, haven't you?"
"I'm more surprised you have."
Rarity blushed. "I'll admit, thinking about it, poor Twilight has been acting... odd. Minimalist. Never objecting to anything. Never asserting herself at all. She hasn't been requesting sleepovers, no book club readings, no gushing over Starswirl The Bearded, no launching into lectures, And I can't remember the last time she wrote a friendship report… and one other thing, too."
"I can't remember the last time she looked WORRIED for any of us, or anyone. She just smiles. Like it's all a game to her."
That was NOT how Twilight had acted last night, but every night before that? Had Twilight replaced a pod pony who had replaced her? This was making my head hurt.
I nodded. "So uh...how about we send a letter to the Princess? In case Fluttershy didn't?"
"I have a better idea. We're going to go SEE HER!" Rarity stomped a hoof.
"What about sending a letter? Won't it be faster?"
"Yes. It would be-- But with all due respect dear, if there IS a conspiracy, then the letter could be intercepted. I'd rather we SPEAK with Princess Celestia face to face!"
Rarity, being Rarity, dressed for the occasion, then quickly stopped by Sparkler's place to tell her to look after Sweetie Belle if our trip ran long, and then we were off on the next train to Canterlot!
We sat in our seats, watching the landscape go by. Dang, this was super-boring.
"That's odd," Rarity said. "We're the only ones on the train."
I looked around. She was right. "Weird."
"It's not weird. It's wrong," Rarity said narrowing her eyes. "This is a high class train. There should be waiters, cooks, cleaners. We haven't even seen the conductor since we got on board."
"Are we in a trap?" I tensed my wings.
The train stopped without anything happening.
"That's wrong too," Rarity said, "The trip should have taken longer."
We stepped out of the train, ready for an ambush, except...
"Ponyville? How did we end up back in Ponyville?" Rarity exclaimed.
"Did we get turned around?"
"Trains don't work that way!" she growled.
I grabbed Rarity. "Hold onto your accessories! We're taking the Rainbow Dash express this time!"
I flew full tilt towards Canterlot. Eyes on the prize. They weren't keeping us from the Princess this time!
Blech! Where did this fog come from? It's like swimming through soup for a pegasus! Past it! Hey! How are we flying towards Ponyville? I trust my internal compass and it says we haven't turned around!
Rarity looked as confused as me.
"Not giving up that easy!" I snapped and turned and flew again! More fog? Not this time! I use my wings to create a TUNNEL through the stuff, this time there's way I'm getting turned around, a perfect straight line to...PONYVILLE?!
"This doesn't make sense!" Rarity cried out.
"This doesn't just make sense, THIS IS WRONG!" I said. "I was flying UP before at an angle, then suddenly I'm flying flat to the ground?" The worst part was, I couldn't notice when my sense of gravity had changed. "I am NOT giving up!" I shouted.
Rarity held on for dear life. I held onto her for HER dear life too, because next I did a Sonic Rainboom to shatter any fog that came our way and...we...we flying...towards Ponyville? Huh? Did...I see, Ponyville the way we came? Two Ponyvilles? Huh? What?
Panting, I landed on in the middle of town...I heard the ponies around me cheering for doing a Sonic Rainboom with a passenger.
"Well, maybe at least local business at my shop will pick up now?" Rarity remarked. "But seriously, what is keeping us from Canterlot?"
I thought of what I saw. "Us. From Canterlot?" I parroted.
"Yes dear, whatever that fog was, it's keep us from going to Canterlot and getting help."
A sickening feeling filled my stomach. I flew off. Leaving a shouting Rarity behind me.
I didn't care what direction I went in except away from Ponyville. I flew as fast I could, past the lake, past the fields, and...I saw Ponyville below me, and Rarity looking the direction I'd just gone. I landed behind her. And vomited into the public fountain beside us.
"Rainbow! Are you alright? Did you fly around Ponyville? What did you see? Rainbow Dash, speak to me!" She looked me in the eyes.
"I didn't fly AROUND Ponyville," I groaned, still feeling sick. "I flew AWAY from Ponyville."
Rarity looked sick now too. She fell to her knees. "Sweet Celestia...Save us. Deliver us to Elysium, and protect us from the shadow of evil."
I breath in shuddering breaths. I wonder if this is what a fish in a glass bowl feels like.
I look around, all these ponies, oblivious to what's going on. Hasn't anypony else tried to leave Ponyville? Button Mash is playing his Game Colt, and nearly gets trampled by June Bug who just happily trots over him. His mom pulls him away just in time.
"Hey! That was my son you nearly stepped on!" She shouts at June Bug doesn't react to her. "Never mind. Accidents happen." His mom suddenly says peacefully and goes back to her day. The buck?
What is wrong with Ponyville?
I pick up my friend. "Come on, Rarity. We're not done yet. I have an idea."
I race off, for once sticking low to the ground, Rarity following. Smiling ponies waving as we past them.
"The Everfree is as wild and weird as they come. Maybe whatever magic is trapping us in Ponyville won't work the same there." I explain.
"My, Rainbow Dash," Rarity smirked, "That's actually very clever of you."
"Don't push it."
Rarity watched me fly silently for a bit.
" . . . Rainbow, you and Applejack both push yourselves. But she pushes herself to her limits for others. You push yourself to your limits for yourself. Why?"
"What's wrong with that? I'm gonna be the best, so I have to become the best. Don't you?"
"The beauty in others Rainbow Dash, matters more to them than my own, and how I can help others find that beauty, me being beautiful is meant to inspire them. And is how I express my self respect. You still want recognition and respect from others. While Applejack couldn't care less about that."
"Hey, she works hard for those she cares about. I respect her for that. I train hard to be like the Wonderbolts, because I wanna be like them."
"Like them, huh?"
"Yeah. A pony who never lets her friends down. What could be better?"
The sun was setting, but we were right at the edge of Everfree. A shrill cackling pierced our eardrums.
"Bwahaha! Now that I've risen fro my bog!
I shall turn every filly, into a frog!"
We looked up to see a ugly old zebra in a brown robe and a pointy black hat floating in the air with a broom.
"Your friend best say bye to Apple Bloom!
Every little foal in Ponyville is doomed!" She laughed at us again.
"I'll mix up an evil brew,
And they will be my tasty stew!"
"I'm gonna turn that witch into warted pulp!" I declared revving up.
"Rainbow! Don't! That witch! It's Zecora!" Rarity screamed.
"How can you tell?"
"I have an eye for detail. I would be a very poor Rarity if I didn't. And last I checked, being Rarity is a rarity!"
"Cower before me and quake!
I shall turn you into a chocolate shake!"
"And I doubt there are many rhyming witches in Equestria," Rarity finished.
"Hmmm." I rubbed my chin. "She's acting like all her worst traits have been pushed to the surface, she has emotional baggage she's never really faced about ponies rejecting her and treating her like something she isn't, she dabbles in odd sorts of magic that could cause a freak transformation...she's obviously possessed by a dark alien parasite!"
"Of course she's possessed by a dark alien parasite! That should go without saying!" Rarity said fluffing her mane.
"I'll turn you into a bag,
You old hag!"
"O-O-O-OLD HAG?!" Rarity almost breathed fire.
"To Ponyville I'm off to snatch!
Me you shall never catch!"
"OH NO YOU'RE NOT! You're getting saved right here and now!" I zoomed after her as she flies towards Ponyville the way we came, but somehow she's faster!
With patented Rainbow Dash multi-task supervision, I can see in Ponyville, lots of foals innocently looking out their windows to see what's up. I have to fly faster! I have to save them all! But the Witch is just slow enough that I can barely keep up with her!
Then a streak of silver flashes by, over of the head of the witch. She stops for a moment, her head goes limp for a bit as the jerks of her movements before jerky.
I look behind.
Rarity! She had thrown one of her big leg-long sewing needles thingies from her saddle bag like a javelin! I don't know what they're called! I'm not into sewing! She was holding another one in her hooves like a lance.
"YOU ARE NOT TOUCHING SWEETIE BELLE!" She hissed.
"You are not supposed to interfere!" The witch snarled and black threads shot out of her sleeves right at Rarity, wrapping around her tight. I gasp when Rarity proves to be stronger than she looks when she pulls on the witch's threads and begins pulling her down.
Now was my chance to save Zecora! I fly right at her and begin beating the horsefeathers out of her! Everypony knows you can depossess somepony just by punch them hard enough times! That's just common sense!
"Stop! Stop! You'll hurt her!" The parasite controlling Zecora shouted, I'm way too clever for that! Everypony knows Zecora rhymes!
Ha! Just as I thought! The old ugliness and witch get-up break away from Zecora, uh oh she's falling! Get Zecora safe to the ground. Check! Then Sonic Rainboom the ugliness and witches clothes! Get lost dark alien parasite!
I hold out for applauds...but there isn't any? I mean, it's the in middle of the night, but all those foals...they gone back to bed? Huh? Except Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom from their windows, and they look more confused than anything.
Ugh! Right! Check on Zecora!
She seems fine. For having been possessed by a dark alien parasite.
"You've saved me from being made one of evil's ranks,
If it was bits, a hundred banks could not hold my thanks!"
"Zecora what in Celestia's name happened to you?" Rarity asked.
"There is not much to be said,
I was about to rest in bed.
"Then a voice made me its little muppet.
It said, 'You now shall be my puppet.'
I was stabbed in my hooves and neck,
It hurt like heck.
I do not know what it could be,
Its form I never did see."
There was something wrong with seeing ever calm Zecora hug herself with a shiver.
"Being made so horribly rotten,
It was like a nightmare long forgotten.
I felt like my true self would be annihilated,
I can not remember feeling so violated."
"So some evil alien space parasite turned you into a witch. Got it." I nodded.
Rarity gave her a hug. "There there dear, it's all over now. You're safe and with friends." Then she said in a different tone. "Well, that was intense, dears. Ick. Just look at me. I'll go home and wash now, thank you."
"Gee, guess we know why I'm Loyalty and not you Rarity."
Rarity blinked and held her head like she had a headache. "Only joking Rainbow Dash! Promise!" Rarity chuckled embarrassed. "I'm sorry, that was in poor taste. But how about we all come to my house and wash? We could use it."
"We can wash up LATER! You forget why we came out here?"
"This sad friction let me douse,
Please wash up at my house.
You saved me from making witch's brew,
It is the least I can do."
At Zecora's place, she made us what she called some 'extra special' tea as a thank you gift for saving her. I don't care much for tea though.
And I almost felt odd...no cheering crowds? No parade? Then I remembered it was the middle of the night in Everfree but… all the same, it just felt off...like...like I'd done something out of sequence.
Rarity explained to Zecora why we had been headed for freakin' Everfree at nightfall.
"Now that you have said these things,
I think I'm not the only whose been on strings.
"I have traveled deep into Everfree,
But every time I instead find my house tree."
She lowered her head some.
"The real big pow,
Is that I haven't questions this before now."
Rarity and me looked at each other. We had to try it for themselves. Zecora wished us luck, and answers.
I carried Rarity ABOVE Everfree so we wouldn't get lost. We flew away in Ponyville in a straight line. No way we were getting lost!
And then we were flying towards Ponyville. Wait! What?! That doesn't make sense! Not even fog this time?! WHAT?! I zoomed again, this time with Rarity watching the way we came. Same result! What the buck?
"It was like Ponyville just vanished over the horizon," Rarity said.
This mare does not like being in a fish bowl. Is the entire town trapped? When did this happen?
I didn't feel like sleeping in my cloud castle tonight, I asked Zecora if I could crash at her place. When did Everfree become less creepy than Ponyville?
"If it's here you wish to rest,
Then by all means, be my guest."
"Rainbow Dash," Rarity said haltingly, "Are you...going to be fine sleeping here with Zecora? After, after what happened?"
"She's depossessed, Rarity, nothing bad will happen after. That's how these things work."
"Forgive me for disrupting your beat,
But from you I stand only five feet."
"Sorry," We said together. Oy!
"Rainbow it's just...I don't want to leave you out here by yourself, but...I simply told Sparkler to be there when Sweetie Belle got home and...I don't want to leave Sweetie all alone."
"Won't she just go to her parents' place?"
"Yes but...with everything that is happening in Ponyville...I don't want to not be there for her."
"Rarity, I'm an ADULT, I can look after myself, and I've got Everfree and Zecora between whatever is causing trouble and here."
"That didn't stop it from harming Zecora."
"Uh. Do you want to stay here, or go back for Sweetie Belle?"
"I don't want to leave Sweetie Belle unprotected. And I don't want to leave you without anypony to watch your back."
"Your faith in me is touching,
This is sarcasm I am clutching."
I grunted. "Okay. That's it. Be right back."
Step 1, fly to Rarity's shop/house.
Step 2, give Sweetie Belle free frequent flier miles.
Step 3, watch Rarity have an awkward moment with her little sister with Sweetie dressed in Sweetie's pajamas, with Sweetie's teddy bear and tooth brush.
Rarity put on a fake grin. "Heh. Guess what Sweetie Belle? We're having a sleepover at Zecora's!"
"Can my friends sleep over too?"
"That would be quite the boom,
Sadly, there is no room." Zecora said quickly.
Zecora slept with a dream catcher around her neck with a staff in her hooves and praying to her ancestors for any protection they could give her.
She added some weird circles of salt around where we were sleeping and said prayers in a language I didn't know. Rarity clutched Sweetie Belle like somepony was gonna swipe her as soon as she closed her eyes. Geeze.
I dream... I dream of... I dream of...