//------------------------------//
// Chapter 36: Conclusion - The Future and Beyond 
// Story: Equestria: A History Revealed 
// by Hoofry_Poneigher 
//------------------------------//

	It’s been quite the adventure, hasn’t it? Covering the entirety of Equestria’s history, picking the truth from the lies like a Timberwolf picks its teeth after a good meal.[662] It feels like we’re at the end of a great journey now, but I’m content that we have covered it all. We have literally revealed all there was to reveal of Celestia’s lies and deceit.[663] The conspiracies are out there now for all to see (or all to read, I suppose). Even more so now, as along with its submission to my professor at the University of Canterlot, I have sent this essay to all corners of Equestria, as well as to every significant figure in history.

From the graves of the Caballeros, to the ghost critics of Equinus, to Discord’s residence itself.[664]

From wherever the dust of Sombra’s corpse[665] may fly, to the grave of Thunderhide, to a one-way express trip to the inside of the moon, to the Changeling Kingdom.

To the Crystal Empire, to the six in Ponyville, and to Celestia in Canterlot.

And to Luna too I suppose. But whatever, she’s just a doppelganger. It’s okay to forget about her.

I promised my essay would reveal it all. And it has. Once the truth gets out to the public, the world will be enlightened and be bettered for it. If this should happen to cause a nation-wide revolution, with past villains coming out of the woodwork and citizens everywhere revolting in the light of my impeccable logic and theories, well, that’s no concern of mine.

Because I promised to reveal all of Equestria’s history to you. And I have.

For with Twilight’s ascension into alicorn status, I can end here knowing that there is nothing in the future that would be significant to Equestrian history again. Ever.

Or at least, there won’t be an event that can’t be explained by this essay. There are no contradictions whatsoever. NONE.

In the unlikely event that something does come to fruition, please look at this chart.

Unexplainable Event? → Celestia’s behind it all.

For example, magical weeds come and the Elements have to be sacrificed into some fruity tree to save Equestria from total destruction?

All a ploy for Celestia to root their evil back into our lands, killing us slowly like a spreading cancer. A Second Polonium Age if you would. Or more like the millionth by now. Wouldn’t be too out of place; she’s done it before and she clearly has the capabilities to do it again.

And if Crunch the Rockdog is freed from Tartarus, and somehow returns to absorb all pony magic from Equestria and generally just wreck shit? Well, Celestia probably would just make a secret agreement with ol’ Captain Crunch (they’re probably friends), just like with Nightmare Moon and Queen Chrysalis, for him to pretend to be defeated with the magic of friendship by the mane six and RAINBOW POWER™, when in actuality, the spreading rainbow across the lands that came from his defeat would simply further spread the rainbow of darkness across the land and envelop us in its evil.

Of course, this is just conjecture. Even I can recognize a ridiculous premise when I see it. But take solace in knowing that while you may not see me for a while, Celestia rules your hearts and minds, and continues to plunge the world into eternal darkness under her oppressive hoof.

Well, perhaps solace isn’t the right word. Fear? That’ll do.

So then you may ask,[666] “Loose Change, once Celestia’s evil plots come to fruition, what are you going to do? After all, all of your theories have been completely and trustworthily accurate, so your intelligence must have surely allowed you to make predictions of the future, you sexy sexy mare!” And to that I thank you.

Well, I’m counting on the success of this essay. Everypony will be sure to see the truth with this. And if they’re not enlightened after reading it and choose to ignore all my words, well, then they deserve to live under Celestia’s subservience forever.

As for Larry and I,[667] I suppose I could seek diplomatic immunity in the Griffon Kingdom. They do possess great love for me and my works, such as, “Griffons: Just Why? Why Do They Cling to Life So?” I’m already hearing a tizzy of reviews and good talk going on over there, or some kind of talk at least. You know what they say, no press is bad press. But on the other hand, compared to living the rest of my days with those filthy griffon scum, maybe I’ll just stick it out here, for better or for worse.

For I’ll always have Crazy Larry by my side. We’ll be yelling obscenities at strangers on the street for all the days to come. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Also, I’m not too afraid, for I know that LordSmoozeWillComeAndSwallowAllOfCelestia’sEvilsInHisJawsAnd-AllLoyalPoniesWillForeverLiveOnInHisSingularityOfPurpleTang, say what? Hopefully I said wrote it quickly enough so none of you peons will hear the true secret. This paradise is for Larry and I alone, got that?

So, for now at least, I’ll just keep living life in the moment. While it may be a while until we see each other again, fear not; this is not the last you’ve seen of me. For we will meet each other again. After all, I’m already planning my sequel, Equestria: Future Predictions Unleashed!

Of course, such an academic work is contingent on how I do on this current essay. But given that it’s my magnum opus, and the fact that I’ve been sweet-talking my professor who’s marking this essay throughout the work, I’d say my chances are pretty good. I’ve heard him say under his breath upon giving it to him that I’ve got like, a one in a million chance of getting one hundred percent. What, that’s like a million to one odds in my favor, right?[668]

And so we reach the end. I’d like to thank me, me, and the Frito-Lay Corporation for all of their help in writing this essay. And Crazy Larry too! He provided good sources and good support to me throughout this essay (but he provided even more in bed). And he helped me come up with those cool chapter names too!

But enough Ands. It’s time for goodbyes.

Until next time.

If there’s something strange, in your history books, who you gonna call?

Somebody else. At least for now. I’ve got some major wedding plans I’ve got to attend to.

Smell ya twerps later.[669]