//------------------------------// // What happened again? Part 1 of 3. (Pickleless) // Story: The Prank // by Pickleless //------------------------------// Stupid groaned, trying to block out the sunlight. He didn't know what time it is, but his inner clock told it was way too early in the morning. Peeking at the beautiful sunset, he gave a content sigh and snuggled up against the warm body with him in the bath. ... "Who am I snuggling against?" Stupid whispered. "Glad to see you're still alive." Bucky croaked. "Where are we and why are we here?" Stupid murmured. "Better yet, how long have I been asleep? The sun is already setting." "What's the last thing you remember?" A female voiced groaned. Stupid forced open eyes, finding the simple, small act incredibly painful, and looked over to his left. A mare with hair that looked like bacon was sitting in the hot springs- Stupid blinked slowly, wincing, he looked around and discovered he was in a luxurious hot spring. If he had to guess, they were somewhere up high due to the small hill far off outside the window. Regaining his focus, he looked again at the mare and discovered she had a painful looking black eye. She was a giant compared to normal ponies, nearly three times his size. Another warning bell went off in Stupid's head as he realized Bucky, if he was being held by Bucky, was twice his size. Bucky was not a very large stallion. "How do you feel?" The mare moaned in pain. "Like a busted open pinata. What happened to you?" "You stabbed me in the eye with your genitals." She sighed. Stupid blinked. "Bucky, what happened?" "How much do you remember?" Bucky asked. "Ugh..." Stupid pressed his hooves into his face. ...And found they were green and furry, much like a pony's hooves. Confused, Stupid tried to turn back to normal. After a few failed attempts, he realized he wasn't hearing the buzz of the hivemind in his head anymore. "Bucky..." Stupid started to panic. "What happened?" "Once again, how much do you remember?" Stupid racked his brain, ignoring how much thinking made his head scream in misery. "I woke up, had breakfast, and went over to your place to help you with an experiment." Bucky frowned. "Oh dear." "How long have I been out?" Stupid said in a scared tone. He felt Bucky squeeze him a little tighter. "Talk to me Big Bucks," Stupid pleaded. "I'm starting to lose it here." "You've lost all memory of the last three days," Bacon Hair monotoned. Stupid slowly turned to his head towards her. "Hi, I'm Stupid Doll, I think, I'm not so sure anymore." Stupid said. "Who are you and how do we know each other?" "Hi, again. I'm Sunset Shimmer, again," she snarked. "You're the little colt who stabbed me in the eye with your manhood while climaxing." Stupid, if he was Stupid, gently frowned. "This is a little loony even for me." He paused. "Actually, I don't know who I am anymore so this might actually be normal for me for all I know. I'm going to be terribly depressed if my brain tricked me into thinking I'm a changeling pretending to be doll for a neurotic princess because my mind found that far more stable than reality." "You are actually Poker Face the changeling, named Stupid Doll by Twilight," Bucky reassured. "Damn," Stupid sighed. "Damn?" Bucky questioned. "Would you like to be me for a day if you could?" Stupid stared up at the noticeably bigger stallion. "Hell no." "Exactly. Bacon Hair, how did I-" "It's Sunset Shimmer," She scowled. "Right, sorry. Bacon Hair, what happened to me exactly?" Sunset Shimmer tried her best to murder Stupid with her glare. Sadly, like many before, looks cannot kill. "Minion, retell the tale of how we got here." Bucky ordered. "Ha!" Stupid laughed. Bucky swatted Stupid on the head. "Stupid, apologize to your mother." Stupid took a few seconds to digest that. After a couple deep breaths in and out. He gave a serene smile. "What." He quietly said. "I said apologize to your mother." Bucky ordered with a tone of authority. "I have a mother, her name is Lovely Lies. She was very smart, beautiful, and shamefully flirted with all my friends growing up just to screw with me. That mare over there Bucks," Stupid growled as he pointed to Sunset, "is not my mom." "She is now." Bucky grunted. Stupid and Bucky stared at each other for about six full seconds before Stupid sighed. "Mommy, I'm very sorry for poking you in the eye with my weewee weapon. I hope now you can at least see where I'm coming from." Stupid said in a cutesy voice. Bucky tried his hardest to suppress a snort, he failed. "I hate you." Sunset whimpered. "What a wonderful mother son relationship we have!" Stupid clapped his hooves together. "Now, mommy dearest, if you would be so kind as to tell me what has been going on for the last 72 hours?" Sunset sighed, and cleared her throat... ---Three days ago--- I'm not a good mare. I've made mistakes, I know I've made mistakes. I like to think I learned a lesson in humility. It's been a two years since I've started to study under my new master. I've been good, I've done my best not to look down on others. I felt it was truly time for me to move on, leave this self doubt behind me. One can never be too sure though, so I asked the Makers to test me on my goodwill, to prove to myself that I really AM ready to move on. Then I met Stupid. --- Sunset frowned as the small green colt slowly clapped his hooves. "I'm sorry," Stupid said, not looking sorry at all. "That was just a beautiful beginning. I sincerely hope I ended up ruining all of our lives." "I'm sorry to inform you that we have all contributed to this mess equally." Bucky said seriously. Stupid scowled. "And here I thought I outdid myself this time." "Not today little one," Bucky cooed. "There's always tomorrow." Sunset facehoofed. "May I please continue Master?" "Go on Minion." Bucky ordered. --- "Come in." I responded. I smiled and bowed upon seeing my master walk though my bedroom door. Looking regal as always, I was surprised to a rather small, seedy looking changeling come in after him. Right as soon as I saw him I felt something horribly wrong deep in my soul. The terrible smile he gave me only fueled the fear deep inside. I was a changed mare though, and I have worked to not judge a book by the cover. "Rise, minion," Master ordered, I happily obeyed. "How may I serve you master?" I questioned. "I've been working on a secret project. I require your assistance to finish it." Master pointed towards the changeling. "This here is my worst friend, Stupid Doll. Stupid Doll, this is my minion, Sunset Shimmer. Stupid, say hello." "Hi Bacon Hair, my name is Comic Relief, nice to meet you!" My heart, mind, and soul all in unison tossed warning flags at each other like javelins, hoping to impale each other to put me out of my misery. "It's a pleasure to meet you Stupid, I would appreciate it if you would call me Sunset." "Sure thing Bacon!" I swallowed my frustration as he turned to Master and bumped his flank with his own. "So you have her as your assistant and me as your lab rat. Anything else you need big guy?" Master frowned. "I never told you that you were going to be my lab rat." Stupid calmly pointed towards the cutie mark on his... He has a cutie mark, of a gravestone with a party hat and a clown nose. What. "Fair point. Yes, you are going to be my lab rat. I trust you don't mind?" "Will it hurt?" "Yes." "I'm down for it." Stupid nodded. "Splendid. Come along Minion! We have work to do!" I went with my Master and Stupid to Master's lab. There, an operating table was sitting in the center of a satanic looking pentagram. "Master, pardon my ignorance, but what exactly... is all this?" I asked, looking concerned. "A simple transmutation circle. This is not my area of expertise so I set a couple things up to help the process along, nothing special." I see, I sighed in relief. Master had to do some bad things sometimes, but he didn't do anything unnecessary. Alright, everypony put on these crimson robes and upside down crosses. Minion, you strap Stupid to the table, I'll start chanting in Latin. Stupid laughed. "Oh wow, I already know this is not how magic works AT ALL and yet I can't wait to see this somehow work anyway." It's fine, this is totally fine! There is nothing suspicious about wearing robes and evil amulets and strapping cursed creatures to operating tables. Nothing is wrong with this at all. "Memorare longum putavi occultum iuvenes turtures... Memorare longum putavi occultum iuvenes turtures... Memorare longum putavi occultum iuvenes turtures... Memorare longum putavi occultum iuvenes turtures..." Nothing. "You okay there? Your eye is twitching like crazy." Stupid patted me on the back. "Fine? Me? Y-yes! I'm perfectly fine!" I laughed, oddly enough, it came out sounding like a cry of pain, that's weird. "Haerent mundi maxime amet pugna formidabili..." "Don't worry Bacon, this isn't the first time I've been strapped to an operating table! Just uh, try not to cut me open like Pinkie did." Pinkie did what?!? "Haerent heroes in a dimidium-viridi cortice haerent..." "Looks like Bucky is almost ready." Stupid shoved a ballgag into his mouth. "Mmmphmm hmmphh hmm." I don't know how I got "don't worry, I'll strap myself down," out of that, but I did. "Okay..." I walked over to master, who, without a doubt, knew what he was doing. A bolt of unnatural, black lightning came down and struck an orb with a strange corrupted rainbow in it. For second I heard a thousand screams of pain at once echoing throughout the room, shattering all the windows. "Oh dear, that wasn't suppose to happen." Master frowned. I suppressed another funny sounding laugh. That's odd, I've been rather giggly today. "Minion, channel your magic into me!" I frowned. "That's uh, that's not how magic-" "NOW!" he bellowed. Not really knowing what to do, I channeled all of my magic into it purest form and shot it at my master... ...And watched as he started to go into a seizure. "Cum enim mali, nihil usquam impetus, succidamque et ipsum, ne pueri isti Turtur non remissi!!!" Master struggled to chant. A strange black bolt of lightning struck Stupid. The bolt of lightning stayed dormant, channeled between a portal in the sky and the now screaming changeling. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-" I winced and looked away as a bright flash of light filled the room. Coughing, I blinked as the smoke from the lightning started to fade. Strapped the table was now a small green colt slightly larger than my leg. "Wow!" The cheery, high pitched little child sang out. "That was the fifth most painful thing I have ever experienced!" "I'll have to try harder next time." Master growled, rubbing his forehead. "Master, look!" I pointed towards Stupid. "He's become a pony!" "Aha, success!" Master beamed. "You did WHAT?!?" The little hayseed squeaked. "Why did you turn me into a pony!" Stupid yelled. "I did not turn you into a pony, I removed the curse upon you that made you a changeling." Master calmly explained. "Same thing!" Stupid whined. "Did you have to make me a colt too?" "That's the strange part, all it did was remove your curse, you should be your proper age." Master mused. "How old are you?" I questioned. "I'm a young adult." Stupid answered. "How many years old are you?" "Seven, why?" Master and I stared at the confused colt. "What?" Stupid frowned. "Well that explains why he's so immature." I sighed. "Indeed it does." Master quietly nodded in agreement. "And rather small for his age too. Not that that's anything new." "Hey now! I'm a full grown stallion by changeling standards. Just because I'm a kid by your standards doesn't mean-" All three of us looked down at his thigh as it flashed with a bright light. The clown nose on his gravestone was now replaced with a pacifier. "...Dammit." Stupid muttered. "Congrats, now you're a little dweeb." I scoffed. "I feel sorry for the poor pony who has to babysit you." "Ah yes, that gives me an idea." Master smiled. Master went up to the annoying little green fuzzball and picked him up, trotting over to me, he held him out to me. "Congratulations Minion, you now have a son." "What?!?" I screeched. "Motherhood will be good for you, good for you both actually. Don't worry, my wives and I will help you along the way." "B-but, I... I don't..." I stammered. "You'll do fine. Motherhood requires a lot of sacrifice, but the suffering will be good for you in the long run!" Master laughed. "Well then, I feel like accomplished enough for the day, see you two later!" I stared in shock as Master happily trotted of the lab towards his home. Stupid and I sat there in silence for what felt like hours before the menace spoke up. "Mom, can I play with your expensive and and fragile looking equipment?" I quietly moaned in fear.