The ponies went to Rainbow Falls to qualify for the Equestria Games. Cassandra wasn't taking part because she was an honorary citizen of every nation of the world, thanks to her level 99 diplomacy skills.
"I know!" said Rainbow Dash, "we can distract them with Cassandra's hotness, and we'll definitely win the race!"
"Rainbow Dash!" scolded Cassandra, "I thought we talked about unfair advantages! I'm surprised at you! That comment undermines all the years of suffering I endured because the hater ponies were jealous of my perfect mane! Go stand in the corner, and think about what you said."
Rainbow Dash hung her head low, and skulled over to the corner.
"Don't be sad Rainbow, ah know what'll cheer ya up" said Applejack, "havin' an apple brown betty."
"She will not!" said Cassandra, "she's watching her figure, unlike two earth ponies I know." They agreed they were lucky to have a friend like Cassandra.
The train came to a stop at Rainbow Falls. "Can I come out of the corner now?" asked Dash.
"Yes," said Cassandra, " but as soon as we get outside, find another corner and stand in it."
"What if I gave you some practice kissing?" said Dash
"Fine, you can come out of the corner after 10 minutes."
Twilight was practicing cheering for the Ponyville team.
"Twi, ya know what would help ya cheer better?" sais Applejack, " an Apple Brown Betty."
"No you silly filly" said Cassandra, "she needs proteins and vegetables," she explained, cleverly avoiding saying "fruit."
"Cassandra, this book on cheering isn't helping me cheer better" said Twilight, "can you help me cheer?"
"I'd like to, because I have level 99 motivational skills" said Cassandra, "but my cheering is so powerful that it gives the team an unfair advantage.
Back in high school, Cassandra became captain of the cheer squad on her very first day of freshmare year. She dated the quarterback and taught him a lesson in sharing when he shared her in bed with the left tackle. They almost lost a game because they felt insecure when Cassandra's stamina had far outlasted theirs combined, but just when it looked like all hope was lost, her cheering brought them back to their very first championship in 200 years.
"Hey Rainbow Dash, wanna fly with us?" said Spitfire, "we have no reserves in case one of our fliers gets injured."
"Well," said Rainbow, "I do like the Wonderbolts..."
"It would mean being disloayal," said Fleet foot
"Don't worry, that's not a problem," said Dash.
,"but you are the Element of Loyalty," said Fleetfoot.
"Yeah, I was wondering about that myself," said Dash.
"Fleetfoot, if you keep dissuading Dash, you can be the next to have an accident" cautioned Spitfire.
So Rainbow Dash practiced with the Wonderboolts and ignored her own team.
The other ponies were too dumb to figure out what was going on but Cassandra was smart. "Something's amiss" she said.
"Ah wasnt payin' attention ta what you were sayin' 'cause ah was distracted thinkin' about mah cousin Braeburn, but it sounds ta me like yer problem could be solved by eatin' an apple brown betty," said Applejack
"That's it, Applejack, corner! Now!"
"Aw shoot" said Applejack.
"I'm not a monster," said Cassandra, " so I'll let you have a choice of corner." She drew a square in the dirt.
"Wow, five corners ta choose from!" gushed Applejack, "yer really merciful, Cassandra." said Applejack. She ate an apple brown betty.
"Rainbow Dash is practicing with the Wonderbolts" said Cassandra, using her level 99 deductive skills. She looked over at Derpy amd saw the cross eyed pony trying to fly straight but ramming into a tree repeatedly.
"I just don't know what went wrong," she explained.
"I do" said Cassandra. She fixed Derpy's eyes.
Derpy gasped, "thank you Cassandra! Won't you let me repay you with some practice kissing?"
"I will" said Cassandra, "but for now I have to go talk to the Wonderbolts."
"Why hello Cassandra" purred Spitfire, "if you're here to seduce me into spilling our secrets, you should know that my lips are unsealed."
"I'm here to warn you not to poach Rainbow Dash from Ponyville. I am the Element of Trust, so because you're intellectually and morally inferior to me, you should trust me."
Sadly, Spitfie's jealousy clouded her judgement. "I think that I'll ignore your advice. Dash, come over here for a minute."
"Yes, captain?"
Spitfire took her badge and pinned it on Rainbow Dash. "Now that I've pinned my pin on her, we're going steady." she explained.
"How old are you?" gawked Dash
"Rainbow Dash, I'm surprised at you!" said Rarity, "ask another mare's age, don't you know how impolite that is?"
"But seriously, you've got ponies who are really old like Granny Smith, and the foals, but everypony in between looks the exact same age."
"Won't you go with me?" asked Spitfire, "We can go to the picture show and eat popping corn out of the same bucket. It'll be a whale of a time."
"All right, that's enough." said Cassandra. You've gone too far, Spitfire!"
"Ooh, can I recommend a punishment?" asked Spitfire, holding up a whip.
Cassandra ignored her. "I didn't want i to come to this, but it has. Pinkie, give me a pair of pom poms"
"No... you don't mean...?"
"That's right. I'm going to cheer."
The race was on, and the Wonderbolts went first and clocked a pretty good time. Then it was Ponyville's turn and Cassandra took a deep breath, and began to cheer. A magical aura enveloped the Ponyville team. Applejack snarfed another apple brown betty. She got diabetes and died.
"YEAH!" said Bulk Biceps. The aura made Fluttershy not be shy temporarily and made Dash 20% cooler. She flew faster than she ever had when she was doing the Sonic Rainboom. They clobbered the Wonderbolts' time and Ponyville qualified. The judges were so moved that they forged a special medal for "best cheer"
But there were consequences. Two cheer teams felt so inadequate that they hung up their pom poms for good. Five dozen spectators became jealous, and seven dozen rooted for Ponyville instead of their own team. It was hard being so beautiful and talented.