//------------------------------// // All Part of Manners and Etiquette // Story: Yaerfaerda // by Imploding Colon //------------------------------// “Do you know what form this beast will take?” asked a worried elk, one of over a dozen delegates trailing the little unicorn filly across the busy banquet hall. “That of a cactus, a stone, or a street lamp?” “Or perhaps...” A doe stammered, eyes wide. “One of us?” “Would the monster even know who it was while impersonating another creature, Your Highness?” Kera gritted her teeth, stumbling towards the balcony in her gown. “Grnnnghhh... Buzz'offien roy'allee, flank'holien trennte...” “Erm... wh-what did she say?” “I think Her Majesty is speaking in Xonan.” “Ah. I see. Now where did her translator go...?” “LOOK!” Kera spun, frowning. At the jolting expressions of the Val Roan delegates, she leaned back, relaxed herself with a sigh, and spoke more evenly. “Ahem. I am... ehhh... most sorry,” she uttered in a “thick” accent. “I only know enough words for the speech I give to you.” She gestured daintily. “This country... Val Roa... it faces a menace, yes. But Xonans do not know the shape of the menace. Only the menace.” She stood up tall with a proud tilt of her chin. “That is why we must be vagina!” “Erm...” One buck leaned in, humbly. “Perhaps you mean 'vigilant,' Your Highness?” “Yes. That too.” Kera rubbed her forehead. “Please. I have talked much and eaten very little. I must—how you say—chill the buck out.” The delegates smiled. “Yes, Your Highness.” “Of course, Your Highness.” “We are honored by your presence and your good will towards Val Roa's security.” “It's been a pleasure speaking with you.” “Uh huh... dreit dreit dreit...” Kera turned with a twirl of her skirts, glaring off the balcony. “Now friggin' scram, Spark alive...” She blinked at herself, then moaned. “Oh great. Now the inner Belle is coming out.” “You say that like it's a bad thing,” Ebon Mane stated, trotting up. He panted, breathless. “There you are! I've been looking all over for you!” “Waited a little longer, and you could have scraped me off the sidewalk below.” “Kera, what's gotten into you?” Ebon gritted his teeth, trotting over to her side and speaking in a whispery tone. “Can't you stay in one place for more than ten seconds?” “Not with half of Val Roa's bridge club chasing me in circles across their Capital!” “Well, what do you expect?!” Ebon shrugged, making sure not to lose his unicorn horn. “You spit it out that there's a Changeling Queen among the populace, and everydeer's bound to jump all over the Xonan Princess with all sorts of panicked questions!” “You're never gonna let this go, huh?!” Kera spun towards him, frowning. “Look, Ebon, I know it's not what you and the Duchess would have wanted me to do, but—face it—it's got the wheels in everyone's heads turning! You saw how Fishberry stormed off like she'd left her clothes in the washer!” “We still don't know if that's a good thing or not, though!” Ebon stammered. “Until Rainbow Dash gets to the bottom of who's doing what around here—” “Uh huh. We gotta play our part!” Kera's eyes were wide. “She's awesome and all, but Rainbow Dash can't do everything on her own! That's why we came here with her, ain't it? We're a team! And, let's face it, things are coming down to the wire. The pressure on us is so thick. So why not shovel some of that pressure back, huh? You feel me?” “But it's put a big... huge target on us now, Kera!” Ebon exclaimed. He sighed, hung his head, and trotted a little closer. “Look... I'm not here just to play this silly Xonan charade. You need somepony to look out after you. I... I'm committed to making sure that you get back to Bellesmith and Pilate safely.” “Heh...” Kera smirked up at him. “You do realize that—if push came to shove—it'd totally be me protecting you, right?” Ebon clenched his jaw tight. “Even still. I gotta get you back safely to the Jury, no matter what it takes.” “Yeesh, Ebon. Lay it on thick, why don'tcha?” Kera rolled her eyes. “Don't you have enough on your plate as it is? What—with your 'mother' sneaking around this city like a wolf among the trees?” Silence. She turned to glance at him. He hung his head with a depressed look on his face. Kera bit her lip. “Look... I... uh...” She squirmed. “I'm guess I'm a bit cranky, is all.” She adjusted her collar. “I'm not—nngh—cut out for all this frilly princess stuff. So maybe I went a bit out of bounds. But it's gonna work out for us in the end! You'll see!” “I-I know,” Ebon murmured. “I just wish it didn't have to take such a risk.” “I sure as hay didn't write the rules.” Silence. “I-I think I'll feel a bit better if I had some food in my belly,” Kera said. She smiled gently. “And I bet you would feel better if you did what you were good at.” He tilted his head up. “You want me to fetch you something from the banquet table?” “If you can't be a cook...” She smirked. “At least be a waiter.” He smiled calmly. “I'll see what I grab. Stay here, okay?” “Yeah, I doubt I'll be sprouting wings anytime soon,” Kera muttered, leaning over the balcony. Ebon trotted briskly away. Kera sighed... and sighed some more. She rested her chin against the balcony's ledge, staring out at the glinting spiral rooftops of the Sandstone District in the desert sunlight. A warm breeze licked at her emerald bangs and silken tresses. “I wonder...” She murmured. “...if anypony has ever tried eating the sun.” “Perhaps only in folklore,” spoke a young voice, almost higher in pitch than hers. “Maybe there's something to that effect in Xonan mythology?” “Hmmph... How should I know?” Kera glanced aside. She frowned. “And why should you care, kid?” She glared off the balcony once more. “Get lost from kinder-care?” Prince Eine tilted his head calmly to the side. “Well, admittedly, I'm a stranger to these halls, but I suspect I know my way through them much more efficiently than our esteemed foreign guests.” “Good.” Kera's nostrils flared. “Then maybe you can plan a route to scram through.” “I meant no offense whatsoever, Your Highness.” Eine trotted closer. “But I was simply curious about the last topic you broached during your speech before the High Council.” “Ungh...” Kera rolled her eyes. “You and everybody else...” “I beg your pardon?” “Look, can't you take a hint?” Kera spun towards him, frowning. “I'm tired. I'm hungry. All I wanna do is sit somewhere in peace and get something to munch on. Now, I dunno which of the delegates sent you to do Mommy or Daddy's dirty work, but scram!” Several feet behind Kera's flank, a quartet of guards rattled at attention. Antlers glowing, they marched firmly towards the scene. Eine raised a cloven hoof, stopping them. The little fawn calmly shook his head. Once the guards drew back, he cleared his throat and faced her. “I wasn't aware, Your Highness, that you had been made exempt from our banquet's offerings. Allow me to rectify that.” “Heh...” Kera smirked. “You speak big for a lil' pipsqueak.” He smiled. “And this pipsqueak finds your etiquette amusingly blunt in person.” “Yeah, well, hunger will do that.” “Name it, and you'll be eating it within the hour.” “Mrmmff... name what.” “A meal, of course.” Kera turned to squint at him. “You for real?” “I would certainly hope so.” “Oh... I-I dunno...” Kera fidgeted in her gown, staring across the bronze rooftops. “Erm... grasshoppers?” “As you wish.” Eine clapped his hooves. A servant rushed over, and he whispered in her ear. Kera blinked at him. “Wait... really?” The servant nodded and trotted off. Eine looked over. “Why not?” He smiled. “Desert grasshoppers are consumed in abundance by the common and aristocratic populace of Val Roa alike. It usually isn't considered a royal treat, but... perhaps in your Empire—” “Oh! Totally!” Kera nod-nod-nodded. “Xonans scarf that stuff down left and right!” “Well, consider it my pleasure to allow you to...” He fidgeted. “...scarf as you please.” “Uhhhh...” Kera blinked. “Yeah, okay.” She nodded, smiling slightly. “Thanks. Thanks a lot.” “It is no trouble whatsoever.” “Who are you. Like—the caterer's kid or something?” “Hmmmm...” He smiled. “Something like that. I will say...” He paced about. “I am immensely curious about this 'metamorph' business.” “Uhhh... yeah...” Kera gulped. “But, if you're not in the mood to discuss it—” “Eh... it's not that.” Kera fumbled with the folds of her dress, glancing off into the city. “What I said in the speech is basically all I know. It wouldn't be right to say more.” “But you do know more...” Eine cocked his head aside, smiling slightly. “Don't you?” “Mrmmmff...” Kera's eyes darted left and right. “Ah jeez, what would Duchess Arcanista say...?” “Duchess who?” Eine blinked, then glanced off towards the distant guards. “Arcanista? Which province is that?” He clenched his teeth. “God help me, if only I had memorized all the names.” “Why should you?” Kera shrugged. “It's not like all of them visit the Banquet Hall.” “No, Your Majesty. You don't understand. I'm...” Eine paused, blinking. He leaned back, clearing his throat. “I am... simply hoping that our fine cuisine will make your stay a comfortable and an enjoyable one.” “Well, shucks, if you've got grasshoppers, that's a good first step.” “Indeed.” He smiled. “Perhaps you would like a more comfortable place to enjoy your meal?” “Y'know... to be perfectly honest...” Kera glanced at the bustling chambers behind them. “This place is... getting kinda cramped.” “I'll have a room arranged for you.” Eine gestured towards the next door facing the balcony. “Would that be acceptable?” “Heh...” Kera perked up, ears twitching. “Acceptable and a half.” “Then, perhaps, you might humor a humble fawn with more details concerning this metamorphic menace?” “Heck. I don't see why not.” Kera trotted alongside him as the guards escorted them into the next chamber. “If you got some dressing to dip the 'hoppers in, I'll even tell you what color the Xonans dye their underwear.” “Underwear...” The Prince nodded after holding the door open for her. “...how quaint.” Within a blink, Kera and the Prince's entourage were gone. Half a minute later, Ebon Mane strolled back, balancing a plate on his head. “S-sorry I took so long!” he stammered, wobbling left and right. “It took... guh... two minutes alone trying to convince the deer at the Banquet table that I'm a unicorn who can't use his horn.” He came to a stop, resting the plate on his hooves. “You'll like these! They're cheese and spinach encased in baked shells, sprinkled with garlic! I used to make things just like these back at Gray Smoke!” He lifted one with a proud smile. “I can tell you from first-ear experience that they're very crunchy! I figured you would get a kick out of that!” He looked up. His smile left him as he blinked. “... ... ...Kera?”