The Cold, Empty bottle of Sarsaparilla
Pinkie Pie woke up, stretched, and finished off with a great, big, “Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwn! What’s today gonna be like, I wonder,” she said as she hugged her pet alligator goodbye and bounced out the door. She was on her way to the usual place, Sugarcube Corner, for a fun filled day of baking and party planning. “After all,” she said to herself, “Isn’t it Twilight's birthday tomorrow? Or maybe Rainbow Dash - no no NO... it was Fluttershy, wasn’t it?” Pinkie Pie’s memory has been escaping her lately. She bounced along while trying to decide whose party she had planned in the first place when she spotted two strange figures in the distance.
They were both an odd tan color with little to no mane, and were wearing white coats. They were both standing on their hind legs like they were trying some weird trick; the one on the left was holding a clipboard with some strange deformity on his hoof. The one on the right wore thick horn-rimmed glasses.
“This,” he said looking at the figure to the left, “is patient #109.”
“Well, what’s her real name?” the other figure inquired.
“We found her with no identification. She goes by the name Pinkie Pie, but we don’t call her that as it may feed her delusions.”
“Delusions, doctor?”
“Yes. We’ve diagnosed her with a severe case of schizophrenia and an acute bipolar disorder. In short, she believes she is a pony”
“Fascinating,” the one on the left said as he scribbled down notes. “I’d really like to study this one more, if you’d be so kind doctor?”
“Well there might not be much to study soon; the boys upstairs approved her for a new experiential anti-psychosis drug called Serum #14-Q, which has shown great promise in permanently curing patients with even the most severe mental illness. She is scheduled for an injection tomorrow.”
Pinkie Pie just stared at the alien creatures; she was too far to hear what they muttered to each other, but she watched them anyway in curiosity. Something about the creatures seemed familiar, despite being so eldritch. She could have sworn she’s seen them before, but- WAIT! She thought to herself, they must be new here, right? So that means I have to throw them a party!
“HEY! Weird guys! YOO-HOO!” she shouted towards the figures. “You’re new to Ponyville, right? OhmygoshIllhavetoshowyoutoTwilightandRainbowDashandMrsCakeandeveryponyinPonyville!” shot through the mouth of the happy-tastic Pinkie Pie. The two figures exchanged curious looks.
“She does that all the time, you know... virtually every time I’ve gone to visit her over these past several years,” stated the figure on the right. With that, the two figures vanished from sight as a loud metallic *CLANK* sound followed.
“What was that all about?” Pinkie asked herself as she bounced along with her daily activities. “Oh well, I’ve got a party to plan.”
She spent the rest of her day planning a party for one of her friends (she still couldn’t remember which one though). Throughout the day, she scarcely gave a second thought about the two creatures. Weird stuff comes out of the Everfree forest all the time, right? But she still couldn’t escape the fact that they seemed so familiar.
The next day, Pinkie Pie was acting unusual. “Even for Pinkie Pie,” Spike noted. Pinkie lacked her usual pep and even walked as opposed to bouncing.
“Hey Pinkie, what’s up?” her friend Twilight asked as she walked up to her from behind.
“AAAAAUUUUUGGGGH!” Pinkie yelped as she jumped into the air.
“Hey, what’s wrong Pinkie? You seem... off,” said the lavender coloured unicorn with widened eyes.
“Oh Twilight, I’ve had a terrible nightmare last night! These two creatures kept poking me with needles!”
“... But you know it’s just a dream right?” Twilight retorted.
“But it wasn’t! I saw the same two creatures yesterday while I was walking to Sugarcube Corner!”
“Maybe you saw the two creatures and then had a nightmare about them? What did they look like anyway?” asked the ever-so logical Twilight. “Dragons? Diamond Dogs?”
“No, I mean it! THESECREATURESAREOUTTOGETMEANDIHAVENOIDEAWHY!” blabbered out the Pink pony, frustrated at Twilight’s skepticism. It wasn’t long until tears formed in her eyes as she began to sob. Twilight, who wasn’t taking her seriously, saw the torment in Pinkie’s eyes; it was enough to spark concern for her friend.
“Alright Pinkie, alright. Do you wanna walk over to Sugarcube corner and talk about it over a slice of cake?” Twilight asked, gently hugging Pinkie as she nodded timidly.
As the two walked towards Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie began to feel much better. “You know Twilight... I didn’t think you were going to believe me, but I’m really glad you decided to list-,” she stopped herself as she noticed Twilight wasn’t at her side anymore. “Hey! What’s the big idea?!” she exclaimed in disbelief. There was no response - only the blow of the empty wind. “Well then... I’ll just walk to Sugarcube Corner by myself!” she gave out a cute little “hmmph!” as she trotted along.
After a short walk by herself, she arrived at Sugarcube Corner just in time for lunch. “Hello Mrs.Cake! Can I get a slice of carrot cake?” asked the now hungry pony. But as she looked around, she noticed that the shop was empty. “Where is everypony?” asked the usually perky Pinkie in a timid tone. “This place is usually crowded this time of day!” she told herself as she trotted off in search of another soul.
Throughout her day, Pinkie found Ponyville to be a ghost town; she’d never seen the town so empty. It was unusual, surreal, and even downright terrifying to see not another pony all day. She wandered around Ponyville looking for someone until the sun had set, and then wandered home.
When she opened the door she half-expected (or half-hoped) to see everypony in Ponyville jump out and yell “SURPRISE!!!!” but was sadly disappointed to be greeted by only her blank faced alligator Gummy.
“Oh Gummy, at least you’re here. It seems there’s not anypony left in Ponyville...” she mumbled as her face sank into a gloomy, depressed expression before shooting back to its usual peachiness. “Well... maybe things will be better in the morning!”
Things weren’t better in the morning...