The library was crowded. Twilight had called everypony that was involved in the church incident to one place in order to piece together what had happened and get a better idea of how to proceed.
"All right everypony, let's begin," said Twilight. "We'll start from the beginning." She turned to the chalkboard, brandishing a pointer. "Step one, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle find a Holy Bible in a cave."
"Actually, I think before that comes the part where I was placed there," said Bible.
Twilight picked up a piece of chalk. She located a small part of the chalkboard that wasn't written on and asked, "Okay, what are the details?"
Bible shrugged. "I don't know. I was a book then."
Twilight frowned. "Okay...let's just assume Valiant put you there to troll us."
"A reasonable assumption," said Sir Win. He and Bible had been forced to sit on opposite sides of the room from each other.
Twilight marked it down and went on. "So the Cutie Mark Crusaders find the bible, and-"
"Hang on," said Scootaloo, "it was just Sweetie Belle and I. Apple Bloom was passed out after we crashed."
"She was dead," Bible corrected. "I just happened to have enough inherent magic to fix her."
Twilight made the correction to the chalkboard, mentally noting how strange it was that nopony reacted to that. How weird things had gotten lately. "All right, so once everypony was back together, the three fillies took the Bible back to Ponyville and began preaching. This attracted a significant following and soon a church was built."
"I was glad to get them out of the classroom," remarked Cheerilee. "I have enough to deal with already."
Twilight was not exactly sure the extent of the duties Cheerilee performed under the "black ops" of Princess Luna, but decided now was not the time to ask. She went on. "So once the church was built the congregation began to form. A choir was raised from foals and older ponies began to join as well."
"Beautiful music, yes?" asked Cordoba, with her accented speech. She was one of the young singers. Twilight frowned. She may have been the same blue and white filly who had kicked Twilight in the shin during the street fight.
However, getting the story straight was more important than dealing with urchins. Twilight nodded noncommittally in response. "Yes, the choir may have been the best part of this whole event." She turned back to the chalkboard and went on. "So, due to a conversation during the sermon about how the bible was either Valiant's or a copy, we learned that Guinness knows quite a bit about human religion."
Guinness nodded modestly.
Twilight gestured to her five Element buddies and added, "It was also about this point that the congregation turned on us. So we left the church and the Crusaders made the decision to become, well, crusaders."
Sweetie put on her lawyering tone. "Let me make it perfectly clear that the three of us broke no laws. All of those that sacrificed themselves for the so-called crusade did so willingly."
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Equestria doesn't even have laws against this kind of thing because nopony ever thought it would be necessary. No charges are being filed, but I would advise you not to start any more religious extremism in the future."
Glancing back at the chalkboard, Twilight kept talking. "So, Sir Winifred Condemnation Inferno arrived in the middle of this, aiming to put a stop to the proceedings."
Sir Win nodded. "Let me add that I was highly successful."
Twilight had to agree. The outcome wasn't perfect, but the demon had likely ended the event considerably faster than it would have otherwise. That also brought her to her next point. "When Sir Win intervened, the magic of the Bible turned it - er, him - into a real pony. We're still working on how that happened."
Bible shrugged. "I wish I could tell you. Up until then, I was just a book."
"How did a human holy book become magical?" Twilight asked.
"Same answer," replied Bible. "Could it have something to do with this Valiant fellow?"
"It could," Twilight replied curtly. She glanced at the chalkboard. "Moving on, Rarity was accidentally caught in the magic field and turned into a pillar of salt. That was easy to fix, although we're still working through some complications."
Rarity shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Beneath the outlandish dress she wore, there was still a small patch on her rump that was bare of hair. It didn't help that at the moment she felt something granular sifting through her clothing. It felt like sand, perhaps, but she couldn't imagine how it had gotten there.
"After all that was the cleanup," Twilight finished. "There was a lot to mop up and defuse in the streets."
She looked around. "Okay, that covers most of it. Are there any questions? No? Thank you all for coming. Sir Win, Bible, Guinness, and girls, could you please stay behind?"
Most of the crowd got up and filed out of the library. The others remained, looking at Twilight with interest.
"I have just a few more things," Twilight said, flipping over one of the chalkboards to reveal more writing. "I didn't think the whole town should hear this, or at least not until we were sure about what was going on."
Written on the board was a web diagram with a few points that all intersected to one central question: Duplicate Applejack?
"Something happened during the conflict," Twilight said. "This involves you girls, but I also wanted to have the local experts on strange things here to discuss."
Sir Win, Bible, and Guinness were admittedly an unusual panel of experts, but Twilight couldn't think of anypony else who might know what the heck was happening. She paused, and then said, "As the fight was happening, I could have sworn I saw a double of Applejack get blown up. Thoughts?"
Applejack immediately began to sweat.
Guinness frowned in thought.
Bible's expression remained neutral.
The rest looked at Applejack.
"I, uh..." Applejack began. "Well, I told y'all about the uh...change in my diet."
"Wait, change?" Rainbow asked. "It wasn't a one-time thing?"
Various expressions of distaste went around the room, save for the three stallions.
"Uh..." Applejack stalled.
"We can come back to that," Twilight put in. "Just tell us what happened yesterday."
"Well, y'see...it just kinda happened."
"You just spontaneously produced a duplicate?" Twilight asked. "How?"
"Wait a moment," broke in Sir Win, "Did you recently start eating pony?"
Applejack flinched, but nodded.
"Ah, okay." Sir Win smiled. "You've got an excess of protein. In most cases, it would simply be passed through, but with the combination of pony magic you're eating and your own enhanced latent magic from being such a special Element of Harmony and whatnot, I believe the extra protein is being converted into your very own meat puppets."
A collective "huh?" went around the room.
Applejack muttered, "I guess that could explain it."
Twilight shook her head in disbelief. "So you're saying that by being a cannibal, Applejack can produce duplicates of herself that she controls? I've literally never heard of anything so disgusting! That's a horrible perversion of nature!"
"But Applejack saved your life by getting her duplicate blown up instead of you," Fluttershy said.
The room was drenched in a long, awkward silence.
Bible looked around and whispered to Guinness, "I'm still learning how to be a real pony, but this is where Twilight is supposed to say thank you, right?"
Twilight swallowed hard. "Thank you for saving my life, Applejack."
Also feeling extremely uncomfortable about the whole situation, Applejack nodded.
"Hey," said Pinkie, "if Applejack had enough extra protein to make a whole duplicate of herself, where did she get it? I thought she split that Fruitcake pony with Valiant after they drew straws to see who would get eaten."
"That is what happened in the mountains, right?" said Guinness. "I'm surprised Valiant didn't just snap Fruitcake's neck and get it over with. He certainly wouldn't have risked himself like that, and probably wanted to protect your life too, because to be perfectly frank, you're a lot more important to Equestria than some random pony. Knowing Valiant, he probably rigged the straws, so that the outcome was guaranteed."
"So...none of this is my fault and we can blame Valiant?" Applejack said hopefully.
"I like the sound of that," Twilight quickly put in. "That's the official story from now on."
"But going back to the amount of biomass it would take to add up to one whole duplicate, you'd have to have eaten at least part of another pony," Sir Win speculated. "There were certainly enough parts lying around in the street the other day."
Applejack cringed, but quickly rambled, "Well, I wanted to do my part to help the cleanup, and I was hungry, and figured I wouldn't be any good in the fight on an empty stomach, and also I figured that since I had already done it once it wasn't like I could feel any worse about myself or get into more trouble." She paused, and the added, "Also, if I hadn't done it, Twilight could be dead right now."
"I...I guess it does have its uses," Twilight reluctantly conceded. "I can't condone it, but this one time it did turn out to be positive thing."
"We could talk to Snowflake about getting some protein powder supplement so Applejack can get the benefits without eating ponies," Rainbow suggested.
"Wouldn't work," said Sir Win. "It has to be pony flesh."
Applejack groaned in frustration. "I don't want any part of this."
"It's a little late for that now," Twilight reminded her.
"And, well, it is kind of cool that you're stronger now," Rainbow said.
Applejack stomped a hoof, rattling the building. "I wouldn't say it was worth it!"
With the rattle, the simple library light fixture suspended from the ceiling came loose and fell. Before anypony could react, it crashed down on Rarity's head.
Rarity was barely staggered. She blinked, vaguely aware that she should be more injured than she felt. She looked at the scattered pieces on the floor.
"Why are you white?" Pinkie asked.
Rarity frowned. "Dear, if you haven't noticed, I've always been white."
"Like, more than normal," Pinkie said, gesturing at Rarity.
Rarity examined herself. Sure enough, she had gone all white. More importantly, her coat was suddenly crystalline.
There was a mirror nearby and Rarity hovered it closer. She'd become an animated crystal of pure white, even more crystal than crystal ponies. She smiled. "This is unexpected, but I think I could grow to like it."
Pinkie licked her. "Salty!"
Rarity's face fell. "I'm a salt crystal?"
"My bad," said Bible.
Everypony turned to him for an explanation.
"Perhaps when I un-salted her the other day I didn't do it well enough and just temporarily gave her a partial transformation back?" Bible guessed. He rubbed the base of his horn. "Learning how to be a pony would be a whole lot easier if I had some formal instruction."
"I can help you with that," Twilight offered. Bible smiled in thanks, and she held his gaze for just a little longer than was really necessary.
Twilight shook her head. Deal with problems now, get to know the attractive book-stallion later.
She turned back to Rarity. "So is turning back into salt some kind of response to trauma? Being in salt form seemed to protect your head."
Rarity considered that. "I suppose." She pranced a little. Her hooves thudded solidly against the floor. "I suppose it is a bit like having a hard shell."
"Salty and a hard shell like a peanut?" Pinkie asked. Rarity glared at her.
"See if you can change back or need help," Twilight said. At her bidding, Rarity closed her eyes and concentrated. Sure enough, she was back to regular skin form in just a few moments. There was a second patch of bare skin where Pinkie had licked her the second time. Before anypony could mention it, Spike cut in.
"Wow!" Spike said, from where he had been watching the proceedings from the top of the stairs. "Now Rarity, Rainbow, and Twilight all have a transformation! We really are turning into a superhero team!"
Twilight started to protest, but reluctantly admitted that he had a point. Pinkie said, "Ooh! Do me next! No, wait, do Fluttershy next!" She grinned. "I'll do her."
"This is no time for HLS," Twilight admonished. "We're having serious conversations here. Speaking of that, I'm actually very pleased with the way this dialogue has gone. We accomplished a lot at this meeting."
"It's just like a debrief after an important superhero mission," Spike put in. "We should do this more often."
Twilight was about to refute him, but he again had a point. It wasn't often that they just sat around and talked things out, and it had worked surprisingly well. "Perhaps we can schedule more of these."
"At least replace the chalkboards, though," Spike said. "If we're going to be all cool and stuff, we need whiteboards."
Pinkie waved her hoof. "I get first sniff of the markers!"