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// An Antique Chicken 
// Story: The Haven 
// by Original Usermane 
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	He didn’t have any real time off until the Rainbow Falls Trader Exchange, when he happily tagged along, deciding that he really should start participating more in pony culture, since he was basically living as one, now. Just, as one who happened to have chaos magic.
He thought about setting up his own booth, but decided against it since his appearance among ponies who weren’t acquainted with him may cause widespread panic rather than just annoyance. He often had this problem when he was reconstructing, one of Celestia’s favorite little jobs to give him, but once he started being helpful they usually calmed down. There wasn’t anything big here for him to be helpful with, so therefore there would be no way to calm the angry mob.
So, instead, he created a pony out of thin air that he could control and had him set up a stall- filled with his own patented Discord-shaped lamps. He didn’t usually create his own living things, mostly just changed ones that already existed, so the hind legs didn’t work properly and he had to summon up a wheelchair.
Oddly enough, his first customer was Rainbow Dash, being followed by Fluttershy. When Rainbow wasn’t looking, he animated one of the lamps just long enough to wave at her. She smiled.
“A whole stand filled with Discord-shaped lamps? Seriously?” Rainbow asked incredulously.
“They really do have everything at the Traders Exchange,” Fluttershy replied, trying not to laugh.
Rainbow tried to trade an old horseshoe for one of his lamps, but of course he refused. What would he possible do with a horseshoe? He didn’t even have horse feet for Pete’s sake!
“But I’d trade it for an antique chicken,” he made the pony say, chuckling to himself. It was the randomest thing he could think of off the top of his head, and randomness was definitely something he enjoyed.
“Great!” Rainbow exclaimed. “What’s an antique chicken?” He just smiled mysteriously, since he really had no idea, since he’d just said something randomly. Rainbow sighed and drag Fluttershy off to look for something that fit the qualifications. A few minutes later Fluttershy came back alone.
“Rainbow wants to know what kind of chicken you want,” Fluttershy said with a laugh as Discord slinked out of his corner to greet her. His pony puppet sat there with a blank face since he wasn’t controlling it. Discord guffawed.
“She actually found an antique chicken!? I was totally joking. I suppose it would be an amusing decoration for my room, though… Just get whatever, I don’t particularly care.”
“I’ll go let her know,” Fluttershy said, and flew off again.
“He’ll be fine with anything,” Fluttershy said. Rainbow shrugged, grabbed the chicken statue closest to her, and took off with it, Fluttershy in pursuit.
Meanwhile, Discord was getting bored. Nopony but Rainbow had even bothered coming to the booth, so he was rapidly running out of entertainment. He decided he may as well go out and see the sights for awhile. Besides, it’d be funny if Rainbow ended up waiting for his pony puppet to come back. He made the puppet go get in line for something to eat while he flew up inconspicuously and looked down on the Exchange, observing. Rainbow Dash tracked it down a bit too quickly, though, so he had the puppet make some lame excuse about having been trading all day (even though he hadn’t technically sold any yet) and being hungry (even though it was a puppet and didn’t need to eat).
Fluttershy, knowing exactly what Discord was pulling, pulled out her d’aww face, since Discord was helpless against her when she really wanted something. Unfortunately, he saw it coming, and looked away, making the puppet say no. Fluttershy shot him a slightly irritated look, and soon Rainbow had dragged her into the burger stand and was churning out oat burgers at record speed- which was the most entertaining thing Discord had seen all day.
Deciding to reward the show, he agreeably had the puppet go back to the stall and trade them for the lamp, snickering at the antique chicken he’d acquired. ‘I guess they really do have everything here. I’ll have to put this in a place of honor in my haven. And try harder next time to be random, because evidently ‘antique chicken’ wasn’t good enough.’
Meanwhile, Rainbow was trying desperately to convince the owner of the Daring Do stall that she still wanted the orthros, with a little help from Fluttershy.
“With a little patient training, and a big slobber mop, they can be a wonderful household pet,” Fluttershy said with a smile.
“Oh, alright, alright,” the mare said while the orthros licked her. “I’ll trade you.”
“YES!” Rainbow exclaimed triumphantly. She started drooling.
“If she comes and stays with us in Manehattan until it’s trained!” the mare demanded.
“Gosh, training an orthros takes a long time,” Fluttershy said hesitantly. ‘I can’t leave Discord on his own that long!’  “I’ll probably be gone from Ponyville for… I don’t even know how many moons!” ‘Come on Rainbow, take a hint!’ These were the kinds of thoughts Fluttershy kept on the inside, since she’d never be caught saying it out loud. Unfortunately, Rainbow was too busy slobbering over the book to notice, so Fluttershy sighed. “But… If that is what you really want…” ‘HINT HINT.’
“So we got a fair deal?” the mare asked.
“Of course it’s a deal!” Rainbow exclaimed. Fluttershy sighed. Maybe she could have Discord come with her and just hide in her mane? Oh, but he’d probably get bored without his haven. Oh, but she didn’t want to just leave him… Maybe Celestia would give him a temporary space at the castle? Ugh, she had a headache. “Whoo-hoo! I did it I did it!” Fluttershy started walking after the mare and orthros, hoping Discord would notice her on the way out so she could explain. “Fluttershy, can you believe it!?”
Fluttershy was already too far away to hear.
“Oh no!” Rainbow gasped, realizing what had just happened. “What did I do!?” She flew to Twilight the second she realized how she could fix this. “Twilight! I need you to say a trade wasn’t fair! FAST!”
Unfortunately, things didn’t initially turn out in her favor. ‘Twilight, you traitor,’ Rainbow huffed in her mind.
“Yeah, I said it,” Rainbow exclaimed. “But I was wrong! I did want that book. A lot. I said I wanted it more than anything in all of Equestria. But there’s no thing that’s worth as much to me as a friend.”
‘Well, better late than never,’ Fluttershy thought, smiling at Rainbow.
“I… might have forgotten that for a little bit,” Rainbow admitted sheepishly. Discord, disguised and in the crowd, huffed. ‘She’d better hope this all works out, or my “attempts at friendship” with her will become a lot more sinister.’ “But it’s true! Which means there’s no way this trade can be fair!”
“Oh come on!” the other mare exclaimed. “That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard! Okay, the trade’s off.” Discord sighed in relief as all the ponies cheered and Twilight concluded the Exchange. Soon enough, he was safely back in Fluttershy’s mane and they were heading home. He gagged a little at the sappy friendship moment, but other than that the ride was bearable, mostly because he’d grown extremely fond of hanging out in Fluttershy’s hair, especially since he’d realized exactly what it was he felt for her.
A few days later, the day after a little fair that was put on for the fillies, Discord finally decided that it was time to go out on the town and try to make friends again- hopefully with more success, this time around. However, the moment he got into town he knew that this was not going to be the perfect day for it. While he watched, the Apples’ cart in the market randomly turned into gold and gemstones, and moments later an irritated Rainbow was stuffed into a dress that appeared out of nowhere. ‘If anypony sees me, I’ll get blamed!’ Discord complained, hurriedly tucking himself out of sight. ‘But who in Equestria is doing all this, anyway?’ He decided to do a little detective work. He went to Fluttershy’s to ask if she knew anything just in time to see Rarity make her birdhouse into a bird mansion. ‘So it’s Rarity who’s stealing my job, is it?’ As soon as Rarity and her lackey left, Discord flew over to Fluttershy.
“Oh, Discord, did you do this?” Fluttershy asked nervously. “You know how it frightens the animals when they’re not expecting it. I thought we’d been over this. You’ve been so good about it-”
“It wasn’t me, I swear!” Discord defended. “I actually came to see if you knew anything about what’s been happening in town. A certain somepony has been doing things that will likely get me in trouble if they’re not stopped, as was just demonstrated. I caught her in the act, this time, though.”
“Who was it, then?” Fluttershy asked worriedly.
“Rarity,” Discord declared.
“Rarity?” Fluttershy asked, confused. “But… why would Rarity go about making chaos?”
“I think she’s trying to beautify things, in a twisted way,” Discord mused.
“Oh, but, her magic isn’t strong enough for something like this on her own,” Fluttershy said hesitantly. “She can mostly just levitate things and cast her gem-finding spell…”
“I don’t know the how, but I know what I saw,” Discord insisted.
“Well, I suppose we’d better try to find her and ask, just in case,” Fluttershy said cautiously. He agreed, hid in her hair to avoid taking the blame (and so he could spend more time in it. It was so soft and it smelled like Fluttershy), and they headed along the road to town. By the time they got there, all the roads had been turned to solid gold.
“It really does seem like something Rarity would do,” Fluttershy said worriedly.
By the time they got an idea of where Rarity might be, everything had already resolved itself.
“Why do I always have to miss out on the action!?” Discord complained. “Something interesting needs to happen to me now!” At that moment, a letter appeared in front of him. Princess Celestia used Spike to send letters to Twilight because it was slightly easier, but when she needed to get ahold of Discord, she could just materialize them in front of him. He grabbed it and read it out loud.
“Discord, Twilight has just sent me a letter describing today’s events. While I realize from what she said that you weren’t involved, I expect you to help Princess Cadence and Princess Luna with cleanup while they’re there. I’ve sent them to help, and they know to expect you.”
“Oh thank goodness,” Fluttershy said in relief. “I’d hate for things to stay this way for too long. Somepony’s eyes might be damaged by all the reflected light!”
“I agree. Changing the ground is all well and good, but even when I was ‘evil’, I’ve never condoned causing real pain. And now that I’m good, I realize emotional pain is also off limits, so I’m practically a saint!” He summoned a halo.
“I wouldn’t go that far,” Fluttershy teased. The familiar flash of teleportation came from near the library. “It looks like the princesses are here, so why don’t you go help out. I’ll make dinner while you’re gone and it’ll be waiting when you get back!”
“Yes, dear,” Discord sighed, and slithered out of her hair, around the corner, and up into Cadence’s much less comfortable mane without Twilight, who was talking to Luna, noticing. To her credit, she didn’t jump.