//------------------------------// // Warm Straw and Cold Fries // Story: To Serve Bronies // by Fuzzy Necromancer //------------------------------// Fluttershy tucked the groaning human in with some nice fresh straw and a quilted blanket. “I'm so sorry, Jamal. I should have asked if you knew how to ride.” The human stirred. “Honey? Get the alarm clock.” Fluttershy waved her woodpecker into silence. “Honey, it's okay,” he mumbled. “She didn't mean any disre-no, no babe, she's your daughter! Don't-” The human sat upright with a breathless shriek. “Oh!” he said, wiping his forehead and looking around. Jamal blinked and frowned. “Oh.” Fluttershy nudged a bowl of oats and a dish of clean water over to Jamal. “How are you feeling? Do you need some fresh bedding or new bandages?” Jamal winced. “Pretty good, thanks. I just...I don't think I'll buy my daughter that Twilight Sparkle stuffed animal. The hair doesn't look-” he broke off midsentence with a savage gasp. Then he went silent, struggling because making noises were too painful but he obviously wanted to scream. “I thought that looked like a rib and hip fracture,” Fluttershy sighed. She stepped over a family of weasels and gently pulled an opossum out of her medicine drawer. “Try to stay out of the hallucinogens, okay Sparky?” she murmured, giving the animal a light kiss on its fuzzy underbelly. “I've swapped some manticore cheese for Zecora's bone-restoring potions a while ago. You know how fragile flamingo bones can be.” The human blinked. “I guess?” Fluttershy lifted the bottle to his lips and patted his back with her free wing. “Now, this is going to taste a little yucky, but I want you to drink it all up. I'll have something good for you to get rid of the taste afterwards.” The human raised an eyebrow and made an odd expression, but he drank it without winching or spitting it out. “That wasn't so bad actually. Sort of like mint jelly and spam.” Jamal smacked his lips. Fluttershy rewarded the human with a big bowl of fresh-picked clover. Angel eyed it jealously. Fluttershy set down the bowl and turned to Angel. “As for you, you might get some clover after you apologize Rocky Racoon for those hurtful things you said about her father.” Angel blew a raspberry at a raccoon, which hid its face behind its little paws and sighed. “Poor baby,” Fluttershy said. She turned back to her newest animal friend. “So, Jamal, tell me a little about yourself. I've never met a-” Jamal tried to peek out the window, before collapsing in a spasm of pain. “Oh, dear. You really should try to relax and take it easy right now,” Fluttershy said. She gently nuzzled him. “That potion takes a while to get working.” “Sorry,” Jamal coughed out. “I just need to know, is Twilight Sparkle visiting today?” Fluttershy hovered over him. “No, I'm not expecting to see her until our critter playdate next week. Why?” Jamal looked around at the bears, vampire bats, anacondas, and Angel. “No reason,” he mumbled. “So, could you just tell me about yourself and your species?” Fluttershy said, flapping her wings eagerly. Jamal shrugged and winced. “What do you want to know?” Fluttershy hovered an inch above his face. “Everything.” # The hay-burger was busy today, but there were also some odd empty spaces among the seats. Cloudkicker saw was some sort of pattern among the patrons, but couldn't work it out. There were odd whisperings and brief outbursts quickly cut off with shushes and glares. Also, the air conditioner was on the fritz. She had to flutter and rollerskate to get food to her tables before the fries got cold. “All the evidence about Oroc sapience comes from some sketchy, secondary records 'discovered' by Chancellor Puddinghead's long-lost heir, many of them written in eyeliner and glitter-crayon,” a grey unicorn filly with a library catalogue cutie mark expostulated, waving her carrot-dog for emphasis. “Maybe that's because that's what was left after the Great Record-House of Old Appleoosa burned down in a raging spellfire,” a green earth pony sibling with a branding iron cutie mark. The chubby, fastidious filly's father groaned and set aside his okra-burger. “Dewey Decimal, Firebrand, can't we have ONE family dinner that doesn't spiral into heated arguments about primary sources?” Cloudkicker serruptiously refilled the mother's drink and flitted back to the kitchen. “I'm tellin ya, my Uncle Hayseed did some work in canterlot blackening cart windows and greasing the wheels so they could move around at night. What does Fancy Pants need that kind of secrecy for?” Deep Sizzle, the earth pony fry cook said. He squinted at Cloud Kicker. “Could you tell me what joker brought in this olive oil? It's froze solid.” Cloudkicker frowned. “It seemed fine when I brought it up from the basement this morning. Maybe you should get the manager to turn the air conditioning down?” Deep Sizzle shook his head. “I already asked Glueface Myrtle. She says the air conditioner's off.” He snorted and flipped over a hayburger. “Goes to show how little use magic-powered appliances are. They go on the fritz everytime a fairy sneezes!” Cloudkicker dropped off the latest order. What was getting into everypony today?