//------------------------------// // 3 - Cowslip // Story: Gilded Lily // by Cosmic Cowboy //------------------------------// The obvious first step in the search for Aurea Lillium was to find out where to look first. It wasn’t long before the Crusaders' search for the start of their search led them to Pinkie Pie. Pinkie was known for knowing almost everything about every pony in Ponyville, and since Twilight seemed certain that the mysterious author of Aurea Lillium was a local resident, it seemed natural that Pinkie Pie would know who she was. When the Cutie Mark Crusaders arrived at Sugar Cube Corner looking for Pinkie Pie, they found her in her room practicing dentistry on her alligator… or attempting to, at least. “I told you last time, Gummy. If you brushed every day like I told you to, your gums wouldn’t be nearly so sensitive!” Gummy was squirming like a landed fish with a hook set in his mouth. Pinkie had to use all of her limited concentration to keep her hook from actually setting. “Hold still, Gummy! It’s your own fault you need this check-up in the first place! The first rule of snack-eating is taking good care of your chompers so you can keep chomp-chomp-chomping!” Pinkie accidentally poked his molar bed with the sharp end of her No. 23 Sickle Probe, and the resulting jolt from her patient knocked her back and almost rolled him off the pet-sized dental chair. She was so busy wrestling her crownless crocodilian back into position that she could only spare a strained glance for her guests. It seemed a quick look was enough for Pinkie to recognize them, however. “Applebloom! Perfect timing! Help me restrain the patient! Sweetie Belle, bring me a Cone Burnisher, stat! And Scootaloo?” Scootaloo waited nervously for her instructions to come, while the other two warily approached the apparent dentist. “Turn on the AC! It’s downright sweltering in here! Or is it just me?” As Scootaloo relievedly went about her menial task and Sweetie Belle picked through the assortment of dental instruments on a nearby tray for something cone-shaped, Applebloom did her best to ask the question they had come to ask, while simultaneously fighting to keep a small alligator in place for Pinkie to do whatever she was doing in his mouth. “Stay down, Gummy… So, uh, Pinkie?” “Hold on, Applebloom… almost… done! Whew!” Gummy went oddly still and Pinkie Pie stepped back and wiped her forehead with a hoof. “You can put that back now, Sweetie Belle. Turns out I only needed my Curette.” Her three impromptu assistants took a moment to blink at each other. “Now, what can I do for you girls?” Sweetie Belle flashed a scolding look. “What in the hay-” Scootaloo quickly put a hoof to her friend’s mouth, cutting her off. Applebloom gave a worried look to the lifeless-looking form of Gummy on the chair. Calm, focused head prevailing, Scootaloo voiced their question: “Do you know who writes the Aurea Lillium column in the Ponyville Express?” Pinkie’s eyes widened and went to her hoof, which was steadily moving toward her face. She and her three spectators watched in silent fascination as it zipped across her mouth, then she broke her trance and looked up again with a smile. “Mh-Hmmh! Hm mmh hmhm! Mmm hmm mhm mh mhmm hmm hmhmm hm-mm-mmm.” The three fillies looked at her in concern. Pinkie rolled her eyes and pantomimed crossing her heart and poking herself in the eye. “Hm hm hmhm!” Scootaloo raised an eyebrow. “Uh, Pinkie? Are you gonna tell us or are you just gonna keep being weird?” Pinkie looked at her pleadingly. “Hm hmmm!” Applebloom gave an “Uggh!” of frustration and marched right up to the reticent pink mare. “Come on, Pinkie. You know everypony in Ponyville! You’ve gotta know who it is!” Pinkie Pie looked mildly hurt. “Hm hm hmm hm!” “Oh!” Scootaloo was distracted from the scene by Sweetie Belle’s exclamation. “I have an idea! Be right back!” With that, she trotted back downstairs to the bakery. When she came back, it was to the sight of Applebloom shouting “Tell us!” repeatedly into Pinkie Pie’s face, and Pinkie responding with “Hm hmm!”, on the verge of tears. “Oh, Pinkie Pie…” Sweetie Belle said to break up the monotony. Pinkie and Applebloom both looked her way to see her reveal the sugar-coated candy rope she had brought with her. They watched as, with a flat expression on her face, she trotted over to where Gummy still lay immobile on the dental chair. “If you keep mumbling at us instead of telling us what we want to hear, we may get so bored we have to start flossing Gummy’s gums with this!” Sweetie Belle looked up to her friends, who were giving her very strange looks. “What? Come on, I’ve always wanted to try getting a Cutie Mark in interrogation!” Scootaloo and Applebloom exchanged skeptical looks that soon morphed into slightly evil grins. “Cutie Mark Crusader Coercers! Yay!” “MHHHMMM!!!” The Cutie Mark Crusaders didn’t get their Cutie Marks in coercion, torture, or Good Cop/Bad Cop routines that day. This was mainly because before they succeeded in cracking Pinkie Pie they were interrupted by a very confused and concerned Rarity, who had come looking for Sweetie Belle. Needless to say, Rarity doubted she would ever forget the experience of walking into Pinkie’s room and seeing her strapped to a miniature dentist’s chair, jaws clamped shut and crying her eyes out, with her sister and her friends running candy rope back and forth between Gummy’s jaws, yelling “Gingivitis!” over and over again from across the room. She had stormed in with harsh words, as was befitting a responsible older sister. She released Pinkie Pie and made the girls apologize. Surprisingly, Pinkie wiped away her tears and was suddenly all smiles again, laughing off the apologies and assuring her that it had all been in good fun. When Rarity had ushered the three troublemakers out, however, she was almost certain she heard Pinkie muttering to Gummy about dental insurance. After obtaining a full explanation for what she had witnessed and explaining the concept of a Pinkie Pie Promise to the girls, it was easy to hand Scootaloo and Applebloom off to their respective guardians and relay the story, but when Rarity was alone with her sister she found she had no clue what the proper punishment was, or even if any punishment was needed. In the end she sent Sweetie Belle up to bed without dinner and told her to think about what she did. Then she did her best to lose herself in her work. She couldn't help giggling to herself from time to time. The next morning, there was a general meeting of the Ponyville chapter of the Cutie Mark Crusaders in their secondary headquarters (which was more commonly known as a picnic table in the Ponyville Elementary playground). The fruits of yesterday’s labors were related, reviewed, and analyzed, and further plans were outlined. Co-Chair Scootaloo opened discussion. “We’ve been going about this all wrong. Aurea Lillium must be hiding who she is, or else she wouldn’t have shut Pinkie Pie up with that crazy promise.” Applebloom furthered the notion. “She must have some deep, dark secret to hide! Maybe she’s on the run from the law!” Scootaloo concurred. “Maybe she’s a secret agent! Oh, I can’t wait to meet her!” Spike, who happened to be walking by the playground on his way to Sweet Apple Acres, raised an argument. “Maybe she’s a ‘he’.” His argument went unanswered and largely ignored. Sweetie Belle was unsupportive of the speculation currently underway. “But why wouldn’t she want anypony to know she writes the article?” Her objection put a halt to the proceedings, as the three co-chairs took a minute or two to ponder the question. Applebloom moved that the question was unanswerable with the current available information, and further, was irrelevant to the matter at hoof. “Ah guess we just gotta ask her.” The motion was seconded and then passed by a round of nodding, then the primary topic of the meeting was brought to the table by Sweetie Belle. “So how are we gonna find her?” Scootaloo proposed a solution. “Ooh! Ooh! I know!” Her colleagues looked at her expectantly. “She writes that column in the paper every week, right? Maybe she works there! Applebloom seconded the proposal. “Yeah! Let’s go ask them! But, uh, where are they?” The question was eventually brought to Miss Cheerilee, who told them that the Ponyville Express was headquartered and printed at its offices, located toward the hills southwest of Ponyville and near the Rich residence. This threw a small hitch in their plans, forcing them to wait an extra half hour after school to avoid walking with Diamond Tiara as she went home. The Express Building, which housed the printing press and offices for all the journalists and editors of the paper, turned out to be a three-story brick building, which had probably been built on the outskirts of town because it clashed so horribly with the thatched buildings in the town proper. At least, that was Applebloom’s guess. The receptionist at the office put on a sweet smile that didn’t reach her eyes when three little fillies walked up to her desk. “And what can I do for you today, sweeties?” Applebloom spoke up for the group. “We’re here to talk to Aurea Lillium. Or whoever writes it, ah guess.” The receptionist leaned on her desk as she looked down at them for a long moment, chewing her gum loudly. “Aurea Lillium? That’s a freelance column mailed in by a private writer. It’s not written by anyone on staff here.” The unexpected visitors showed various signs of disappointment, and the receptionist smiled gained a bit more sincerity. “Well do you know where she lives so we can find her?” Scootaloo asked with a little irritation. The receptionist ditched the smile for a flat look. Time to get these little annoyances out of her lobby. “No. Like I said, the material for the column is mailed in every week under the pen name ‘Aurea Lillium.’ As far as I know, the author has never visited the offices personally.” Her face scrunched a bit as she looked upward in thought. “Though I guess if they did, they would just ask to be sent up to the Lifestyle offices without bothering to tell me who they were. Hm.” “Can we talk to the Lifestyle editor please?” The receptionist was startled out of her thoughts, and looked down at the white and purple unicorn filly who had spoken. “What for?” “The Lifestyle editor would be the one who handles Aurea Lillium’s column, right?” The receptionist nodded. “Then if anyone knows more about the author, it would be them. So can we go talk to them?” The receptionist sneered, but reached a hoof to a button on her desk. Luckily for them, she never turned down an opportunity to bother her coworkers. Buzzz. “Ink?” A tinny voice sounded from a small machine on the desk. “Yeah, Peg?” “There are some visitors here to talk to you about Lillium.” There was a pause before Ink Press responded. “Send ‘em up.” Peg, or whatever her name was, turned back to the visitors and smiled again. “Looks like you girls lucked out today. Ink Blot’s office is on the third floor, behind the door marked ‘Lifestyle.’ Good luck!” she said with obvious sarcasm. The three fillies ignored it and trotted off to the stairs. Two floors up, Scootaloo knocked on Ink Blot’s door and a voice from within called, “Come on in.” Inside, a cream-colored stallion with a dark purplish-blue mane seated behind a desk stared in surprise as three fillies stepped into his office. “Are you the ones asking about Aurea?” “Yep!” Applebloom answered cheerfully, immediately taking a seat on a simple chair in front of the desk. “We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and we wanna meet her!” Ink Blot mouthed “Cutie Mark Crusaders” in bemusement for a moment, before he narrowed his eyes in recognition. “Hang on, you look familiar. Weren’t you Gabby Gums?” All three fillies looked away sheepishly at that. Ink Blot smirked. “Thought so. I was a big fan. Come back when you’re older and we might have jobs for you three.” He chuckled a bit before collecting himself and giving them a serious look. “But I can’t let you find Aurea.” The self-proclaimed Crusaders looked up indignantly. “Why not?” asked Scootaloo. “You know where she lives, don’t you?” Ink Blot gave her a mischievous smile. “Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. But part of our contract with her is a strict secrecy agreement. As long as we keep printing her column, I’m not allowed to reveal her identity or her whereabouts. She’s a little paranoid, if you ask me. So I’m definitely not sending Gabby Gums to her door. Sorry, kids. Can’t help you.” “But we quit being Gabby Gums ages ago!” Sweetie Belle objected. “We hated how much we were hurting ponies. We just want her help so we can find our Cutie Marks!” Ink Blot shrugged. “Sorry, still can’t help you. If I remember right, though, she just answered a question about Cutie Marks. I think it was this last week. Why don’t you check that out? Maybe it’ll help you.” Scootaloo looked dejected as she got up from her chair and walked slowly to the door, followed by her friends. “We already did. That’s why we want to meet her. Thanks for nothing.” Ink Blot didn’t know what to say to that, so he just watched them go with a frown. He ended up going home early that day, finding it hard to focus on his work after meeting the Cutie Mark Crusaders.