//------------------------------// // 127. A Princess walks into a Tavern... // Story: Short Shorts // by Coranth //------------------------------// Said Tavern - near the docks, at the outskirts of New Shandeigh - was the shabbiest place Princess Luna had ever laid eyes on. It was dirty, dingy, its paint long having faded 'neath the light of her sister's sun. Faded lettering on a weather-beaten sign marked the place as "The Schooner's Lantern." The two plain-clothed guards beside her shifted uneasily; to them the place meant the worst kind of trouble.. The Moon Princess, however, seemed not to be bothered by the shabby, run down place; on the contrary, she licked her lips in anticipation of what might be found within. To her it was perfect. When she stepped into the place, all talk and joviality went silent as scarred earth ponies, one-winged and wingless pegasi, and unicorns with cracked and broken horns all turned their heads. No one moved as her guards glared about, trying to take everypony in as said ponies drew weapons, yet remained still. The tension grew thick, so much so that one might sever it with a knife--but then, a titanic earth pony with a great black beard and a scar running from his eye to his left ear stomped towards Luna; then this pony circled her guards, and snorted dismissively before brazenly leaning his head forwards to sniff her. "What stinkin' ponies of Canterlot be doin' here in old Blackbeard's Tavern? Why be you 'ere, Princess?" Even as she stood before him, trembling just a little, a secret thrill coursed its way through Luna; this pony showed her no fear, and even seemed to despise her somewhat. It... it was liberating to be treated as just another pony! Swallowing nervously, the Princess took a moment to gaze steadily into old Blackbeard's eyes; then, softly, she stated. "Knowest we that thou art a pirate, Blackbeard--but fear not, thou art not under arrest. Rather, we hath come before thee that, well... that we might hearest one of thine working songs thee and thine crew singest upon long voyages. A... a 'sea shanty', we believe it is called...? Yes, we wouldst hear a 'sea shanty' from thee." Blackbeard was stumped. The rough, bawdy earth pony stallion had been psyching himself up for a fight - had been mentally preparing to defend himself and his crew to the death if necessary - but he hadn't expected this. Immediately, his eyes narrowed. "Be you mockin' me, lass?" he snarled. "Why would a Princess" - he sneered the word - "be wantin' to 'ear the singin' of mere common ponies. Don't ye noble types 'ave yer own fancy music?" At his words, Luna nodded. "We do... but... 'tis too... artificial," she replied. "We want to hear something real. Please, won't thou sing for us...?" A pirate he might've been, yet old Blackbeard was an honest one, and at the pleading tone within the Princesses voice, his heart softened--a bit. "Put 'em away, lads, there'll be no fightin' today!" he cried. Groans of disappointment filled the room as knives, various swords, and even more variations of pistols were sheathed and holstered. Then, "Straighten up ye scurvy trumps," the old Pirate Lord cried, "seems the lass 'ere wants to hear one of our ol' shanties, so let's make it a good one. Pretend we be sailin again!" he boomed. Then, he started tio sing, his crew joining in as Luna mentally danced a jig. 'Yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes-yes!' she thought as the song began. "Now we are ready to sail for the Horn, Weigh hey, roll and go! Our boots and our clothes, boys, are all in the pawn, To be rollicking randy dandy-O! Heave a pawl, O heave away! Weigh hey, roll and go! The anchor's on board and the cable's all stored, To be rollicking randy dandy-O! Soon we'll be warping her out through the locks, Weigh hey, roll and go! Where the pretty young girls all come down in their frocks, To be rollicking randy dandy-O! Heave a pawl, O heave away! Weigh hey, roll and go! The anchor's on board and the cable's all stored, To be rollicking randy dandy-O! Come breast the bars, bullies, heave her away, Weigh hey, roll and go! . Soon well be rolling her down through the Bay, To be rollicking randy dandy-O! Heave a pawl, O heave away! Weigh hey, roll and go! The anchor's on board and the cable's all stored, To be rollicking randy dandy-O!" As the song ended, poor Luna whimpered for whilst the tavernsponies had been singing it the Night Princess swore she'd almost felt the rocking of a ship 'neath her hooves! Of course, it hadn't been perfect--there'd been the drunkards who'd slurred the lyrics, and those who'd sung out of tune--but never had the Night Princess heard something so wonderfully raw and real. "Please, another...?" Blackbeard - getting into the spirit of things - nodded and then he and his crew started to sing again, "Come all you young sailor men, listen to me, I'll sing you a song of the fish in the sea; And it's— Windy weather, boys, stormy weather, boys. When the wind blows, we're all together, boys; Blow ye winds westerly, blow ye winds, blow, Jolly sou'wester, boys, steady she goes. Up jumps the eel with his slippery tail, Climbs up aloft and reefs the topsail And it's— Windy weather, boys, stormy weather, boys. When the wind blows, we're all together, boys; Blow ye winds westerly, blow ye winds, blow, Jolly sou'wester, boys, steady she goes. And then up jumps the shark with his nine rows of teeth, Saying, "You eat the dough boys, and I'll eat the beef!” And it's— Windy weather, boys, stormy weather, boys. When the wind blows, we're all together, boys; Blow ye winds westerly, blow ye winds, blow, Jolly sou'wester, boys, steady she goes. Up jumps the whale., the largest of all, "If you want any wind, well, I'll blow ye a squall!! And it's— Windy weather, boys, stormy weather, boys. When the wind blows, we're all together, boys; Blow ye winds westerly, blow ye winds, blow, Jolly sou'wester, boys, steady she goes." At the end of this one, the tavernsponies broke out in cheers, and Luna and her guards joined them, the Princess stomping her hooves enthusiastically as she near-bellowed with the Royal Canterlot Voice! "MARVELLOUS!" she cried. Then, suddenly her eyes alit as an idea came to her. "A trade, with thee good sir!" she shouted to Blackbeard. "We shalt offer thee a trade. Thou and thine crew have offer'd us two songs; now mine guards shalt offer two of theirs..."