Pony Split
Chapter 27 – Smile
Luna's POV
I woke up the next morning and felt the carriage moving. Oh, that's right. It takes about a day and a half to reach our destination by normal transportation. I looked over at Pure Heart, who was busy reading a pamphlet about our honeymoon location.
"Good morning love," he said without looking away from his reading material. "How did you sleep?"
"I had the craziest dream that you only had one wing."
He chuckled, "Sorry, that wasn't a dream." He extended his single wing.
"Oh..." I began to tear up.
Seeing this, he put down the pamphlet and wrapped me in his legs. "Hey, this is our honeymoon. It is supposed to be full of joy and love. So let's just forget about what the future holds and live in the moment, at least for a week. Okay?"
I sniffled, "'Kay..."
He held me closer and began to stroke his hoof through my mane. "Good, now other than that realization, how did you sleep?"
I wiped away the tears and said, "Well I slept pretty well, it was as if I wasn't wearing a hot polyester dress." I looked down at myself and found that I wasn't in fact wearing my dress, rather, I was in what seemed to be an extra large t-shirt that covered my entire body. Across the front it said: ADHD means Attention Deficit Hypera- Oh, SHINY! "I don't remember changing into this shirt last night. Nor do I remember even having a shirt like this."
He smiled, "It was a wedding present from Marcus to me. But I saw that you could use it a lot more when you began to sweat profusely and seemed to be very uncomfortable. So, I simply undressed and redressed you. Thank goodness your such a heavy sleeper."
I hoofed him in the shoulder, "I could of done it myself." A large blush appeared on my face.
He chuckled while rubbing his bruised appendage, "But you looked so peaceful that I couldn't bring myself to wake you up for something so trivial."
I blushed even more, then I kissed him on the lips. "Well, thank you."
"Your welcome."
It was silent for a couple of minutes. "So, what do you want to do? We still have half a day until we arrive." I asked.
He grinned seductively, "I can think of a few things." He leaned in closer as if to kiss me, which I prepared to do, since I thought I knew where he was going with this. As soon as he was an inch away from my face, he took a deep breath. "PLAY ROAD GAMES!"
I nearly fell over from shock, "Great, I married a colt."
"I heard that."
Three hours later, I was about ready to jump out of the carriage.
"Okay, I spy with my little eye something green."
I sighed, "Is it a tree?"
"Man, you are really good at this game. Your turn."
This is how it had gone for the last three hours, the first hour being used to decide we couldn't play the license plate game and then playing 4 rounds of 20 questions, which I won each time. But the last two hours were filled with us playing I Spy. Every time he picked one of 5 things: a tree, the sky, the road, a rock, and me. "You go again, I pass."
"Okey dokey. Let's see here... hmmm. Oh! I got it! I spy with my little eye something blue."
"Is it me?"
Somehow he made an audible snap. "Dang it, how did you guess?"
I sighed again and leaned out the window. "Excuse me, driver, when will we arrive at the location of our honeymoon?"
"Around 6 PM."
"And what time is it now?"
He checked his sundial watch. "About noon."
"Alright, thank you."
"Your quite welcome, m'lady."
I pulled my head back into the carriage. Six hours. Only six hours to go. You can do this Luna.
"Your turn again," Pure Heart announced.
"Fine. I spy with my little eye something red with brown hair."
"Oh man, a real toughie. Hmmm. Oh! That rock!"
A loud slap could be heard as I facehoofed hard. This is going to be the longest six hours of my life.
1 PM
"The wheels on the carriage go round and round, round and round, round and round. Oh, the wheels on the carriage go round and round, all day long. Mare in the carriage goes thwack thwack thwack, thwack thwack thwack, thwack thwack thwack. Oh, the mare in the carriage goes thwack thwack thwack, as she gets a concussion from hitting her head on the wall," Pure Heart sang.
2 PM
"3,783 bottles of apple cider on the wall, 3,783 bottles of apple cider. You take one down and pass it around. 3,782 bottles of apple cider on the wall."
4 PM
"Okay, here's one. What's black and blue and red all over?"
"Me, as soon as I find something hard enough to bash my head on."
5 PM
"... and when the stallion's toast had finally popped up, he walked over to the cupboard and opened it. It no sooner appeared to him that something was off. He let out a blood-curdling scream."
"What was wrong?" I asked, mildly interested.
"They were all out of zap apple jelly! Dun, dun, duhhhh! Ooooo, spooky!"
I immediately facehoofed, "I said 'Ghost Story', not 'Toast Story'."
"Oh! Well, that makes SO much more sense!"
Oh sweet Celestia, help me!
Nope! Trollestia strikes again!
6 PM
"Okay everypony! Last stop: Neighagra Falls!" The driver opened the door and I immediately jumped out just to land on my face.
With a mouth full of dirt I said, "Thank goodness!"
Pure Heart stepped out and said, "Sheesh, it wasn't that bad! And if it was, then why didn't we just teleport here?"
I looked at Pure Heart with my mouth agape, all the dirt falling out. I then proceeded to facehoof over and over again.
Trollestia – 2. Luna – 0.
"Hey are there pharmacies in Equestria?"
I looked up at Pure Heart with a confused look, "Yes?"
"Oh, that's good. I just remembered that I ran out of adderall this morning."
I raised an eyebrow, "Adde-what?"
"I'm ADHD, I thought it was obvious, especially with that t-shirt."
"What does that stand for?"
"Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. A chemical imbalance that makes it harder for me to concentrate. Adderall keeps that in check, which means it keeps me calm and focused. I'm pretty sure Pinkie Pie is ADHD as well, which means she definitely does NOT take medication. Sorry if I might have acted a little nuts on the ride here. Luna? Are you okay?"
You knew about this, didn't you Tia?
I could just see her huge grin. Maybe...
I'm going to freaking kill you!
Huzzah! The fun has been tripled!
"Luna?"
I blinked a few times, "Huh?"
Pure Heart had a worried facial expression, "You seemed to kinda space out for a second there."
I smiled, "Don't worry about. Let's just enjoy ourselves, okay?"
He smiled back, "Sounds like a plan, Stan. You go inside and I'll get our bags."
I nodded and walked into the cabin which had an exquisite view of the falls.
Pure Heart's POV
"Are you ready?"
"I guess. This is safe, right?"
"Of course, I've seen people doing it back on Earth hundreds of times."
"You've seen people doing it?"
"Of course, why else would I want to try it. It looks like so much fun!"
"Well, okay."
"You sure you are ready? Once I get in there, there is no turning back."
"Yes, I'm ready. Your wearing protection, right?"
I knocked on my bright red helmet. "Of course, give me some credit. I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid."
"Says the guy climbing in a barrel, preparing to fall down one of the biggest waterfalls in the world," she said.
"Let's do this thing!" I jumped into the barrel and pulled down the goggles over my face. "Come on!"
"Come on what?"
"Get in!"
"Uh, no."
"Come on."
"Nope."
"You are coming with me!" My horn lit up and she was teleported into the barrel with me.
"No!"
"Yes! Here we go!"
"Oh my sweet mother of Celestia!" She grasped onto my body with all her might and I laughed.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" We both screamed at the top of our lungs.
KER-SPLASH!
The barrel resurfaced and I popped my head out. "Woo-hoo! That was freakin' amazing! Don't you think Luna? Uh, Luna?" She was completely soaked and had a fish poking out of her mouth. Her wet mane stuck to her face.
"Blech! I hate fish!"
"Well I would imagine so, since were vegetarians."
She gave me an evil glare, or what I thought must have been one. I couldn't really see her eyes through the mess of her wet mane covering her face. "You know what I mean!"
"Ah come on, you know that was fun," I said as I began to paddle back to the shore.
She giggled, "Okay, maybe it was a little fun. But I know something even more fun."
"What might that be?" I asked as we reached the shoreline.
"It's back at the cabin," she said with a seductive smile.
"Oh, I get it. Well let's go." I said as I helped her out of the barrel.
"Let's," she purred.
"By the way, you look super sexy when your soaked," I said with a grin.
The next morning, we woke up together in a loving embrace. "Good morning love," I whispered into her ear, then gave it a little lick.
She giggled, "Good morning. What do you want to do today?"
"As long as I'm with you, I don't care."
She thought for a moment, "Maybe we could go to the beach, I have always wanted to try snorkeling."
"Sounds good to me. And it just so happens I know how to snorkel." I said puffing out my chest.
"Oh really? Well then, I guess you can teach me."
"I would love that."
I began to pack beach towels, an umbrella, sunscreen (though I'm not entirely sure why we even had it), and a picnic to eat while there. Luna went out to get instructions as to where the beach was.
When she returned, she had on a sunhat and sunglasses. "Are you ready to go?"
"Readiff!" I said through the handle of the picnic basket in my mouth.
"Then let's go!" Her horn lit up and we were instantly transported to the sandy destination.
"Yeah!" Luna said as she ran out into the water.
I chuckled at her antics as I began to set up.
10 minutes later, I had finished putting up the umbrella, laying out the towels and spreading out the picnic. Luna came out of the water and said, "So, are you going to teach me how to snorkel?"
I smiled, "Of course. But first, I have to teach you a couple of things about the equipment."
"What is there to teach, you just put on the mask, don't you?"
"See, that is where you are mistaken. First you gotta spit in the mask."
"Spit in it?" She asked with a disgusted look.
"Yep, then you spread it out. Like this." I demonstrated spitting in it, then wiping the spit around on the inside.
"That is disgusting. What, pray tell, is this supposed to accomplish?"
"Makes it so the mask doesn't fog up when your in the water."
"Oh, well I guess that makes sense." She spat in her mask and wiped it around.
"Now, we put on the flippers." I helped her put on the webbed shoes then put on my own. "And put the snorkel in our mouth." I put mine in my mouth. "And we r eady to go!" I said through the snorkel, making it hard to understand.
"Alright!" She ran to the water, then tripped over one of the fins.
I sighed and turned around to begin walking backwards to where she fell. Once I reached her, I helped her up, taking the snorkel out of my mouth. "Are you okay?"
"Yes."
"Yeah, I probably should of explained how to walk on land with these on." I lifted up my front right leg and shook it to gesture to the flipper. "You have to walk backwards on land, so you don't trip over them."
"Anything ELSE you would like to mention before we actually start?" She said with anger in her voice.
"Yeah, don't touch anything that doesn't look right." At that I walked backwards into the water and Luna followed suit.
After a couple hours of exploring the ocean life and actually meeting kelpies(sea ponies), I decided to come back to shore. Luna stayed out in the water, busy talking to the aquatic horses.
It was about then I grew a devious grin and started digging a hole.
After another hour of digging, the sun was beginning to set. The hole was finally deep enough, so I jumped into it and used magic to bury myself up to my neck in sand. I levitated my sunglasses over to my head and put them on, and waited for Luna to come back to shore. This is going to be great.
I sat there for awhile, watching sand crabs shuffle across the surface of the beach. Finally, Luna came back to the beach, walking backwards out of the water. This was it, I laid my head on the ground with one of my eyes partially closed, my tongue flopped out to the side.
"Pure Heart, you should have seen it, the kelpies have built a large civilization under water." She slowly turned around. "And there was a this manta ray that... Oh my gosh!" She screamed as she ran over to my the spot where my head was.
While she was fretting over why my head was lying on the beach with my body nowhere in sight, I slowly retracted my tongue. "BOO!"
"What the buck!" She screamed.
I began to laugh hysterically.
"Oh you thought that was funny, huh? Well you will think this is hilarious!" She grew a devilish grin as she raised the full moon. "I hope you are part kelpie, because tonight is high tide!" She laughed maniacally as she walked away.
"Luna, it was just a joke! Come on, don't leave me here! Luna?" Just then the sea level rose a little, causing the tide to come up farther, water licking my throat. "LUNA!"
The Last Night – Luna's POV
"Wow, this sure has been a fun week, hasn't it?" Pure Heart asked me.
"It sure has, though I am saddened that it has to end." I put on a pouty face.
"Now come on, we still have a one more night. Let's enjoy it. Besides, I have a surprise for you."
I instantly perked up, "What is it?"
"I just said it's a surprise, silly filly." He teased. "Now, put on this blindfold and I will take you there."
"Fine."
Ten minutes later, we had stopped. "Are you ready?"
I giggled, "Yes!"
"Okay, take off the blindfold."
I did so and was definitely surprised. He had led us to a secluded area in some forest with a blanket spread out on the ground. Candles lit up the area as well as my moon shining directly over head. On the blanket was an array of food such as daisy sandwiches and hay spaghetti. It was definitely romantic beyond belief.
He took me by the hoof and led me over to the blanket and beckoned me to sit down, which I did.
"I'll be right back." He ran out of sight and left me for a couple seconds.
When he came back he had a guitar. "I didn't know you could play the guitar."
He shrugged, "I can't, but I have been practicing to play a song for you. Ready for it?"
I squealed with delight. "Yes!"
He tuned up and cleared his throat.
"You're better then the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler than the flip side
Of my pillow, that's right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where
You send me, lets me know that it's okay
Yeah, it's okay
And the moments where my good times start to fade
You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed
Sing like bird, dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile
Even when you're gone,
Somehow you come along just like
A flower pokin' through the sidewalk crack
And just like that
You steal away the rain, and just like that
You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed
Sing like bird, dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile
Don't know how I lived without you
'Cause every time that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed
Sing like bird, dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile
Oh, you make me smile
Oh, you make me smile
Oh, you make me smile
Oh, you make me smile."
At the end of the song, I couldn't help but smile so big that it hurt my cheeks.
"I love you Luna. And I want to be with you forever."
I wiped my nose, "I love you too, Pure Heart. I can't think of anyone else I would rather spend eternity with." I jumped up and ran into his outstretched forelegs.
"I'm glad to hear that."