Prompt: Diamond Tiara gets weirded out.
It was a nice, sunny afternoon in Ponyville. Diamond Tiara was travelling happily through the town with her best friend Silver Spoon… or she would have been, that is, had Silver Spoon not been so foolish as to catch the ponypox and be confined to her room for the entire weekend. Instead, Diamond Tiara was invited to a picnic by Alula, and having nothing else to do that day, she decided to accept.
She was used to having picnics with her father or with Silver Spoon, not with Alula. The blanket was almost too small for the two of them to sit on together, and it clearly wasn’t luxury cashmare. The cups were made of paper, not of porcelain, which Alula told her was because they were ‘recyclable’, whatever that meant. Instead of tea they had juice, instead of potato chips they had some knock-off ‘health-conscience’ variant, and the sandwiches had none of their crusts removed.
If it wasn’t such a pleasant day outside, Diamond Tiara would have just left long ago. Also the juice was kind of okay, she guessed. Thankfully, Diamond had the good sense to carry her Game Colt Advanced with her, the latest in hoofheld gaming and the ultimate in time-passing technology.
“And I heard that Berry Pinch got grounded for life when her mother found out!” Alula finished with a hearty laugh.
“Oh yeah, totally,” Diamond Tiara responded, only half-listening as she focussed more on capturing the little creature on her screen.
“Y’know, I really like hanging out with you,” Alula said, blushing lightly.
“Yeah, ditto,” Diamond replied in a bored tone.
Alula shuffled uncomfortably in her spot before scooting just a smidge closer to Diamond Tiara. “N-Not to sound rude to Silver Spoon or anything, but I really prefer it when it’s just the two of us…”
Diamond Tiara nodded and continued to focus on her game. ‘… Wait, what did she say?’
“I mean, you’re just so smart and so… pretty…”
Diamond Tiara slowly turned her attention towards Alula with a raised eyebrow. “Uhh… thanks?”
Alula’s eyes met Diamond, and she leaned a little closer. “A-Actually, I have something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”
“W-What?” Diamond asked, backing away cautiously.
Alula’s face turned even more red as she swallowed a lump in her throat. “I…” Alula closed her eyes, took a deep breath and moved forwards, her lips honing in on Diamond’s. At the last moment she faltered, and redirected her attack on Diamond’s cheek.
After pulling back, Alula found Diamond staring wide-eyed, stuttering, “Wha-wha-wha-wha-wha…”
Alula fidgeted about as she averted her eyes. “um, I-I love you!” she shouted quickly.
“Wha-wha-wha-wha-wha…”
“E-Ever since I first saw you, I-I always thought you were so beautiful, so great…”
“…”
“Um, I know this is really sudden, but uh, w-would you like to… b-be my fillyfriend?”
“…”
“D-Diamond?” Alula looked back up to find that the space that was once occupied by Diamond Tiara was now vacant. Tears began to well as Alula screamed and slammed her head repeatedly into the ground. “Stupid Alula! Stupid, stupid, stupid!”
“… I don’t know what she’s doing, but it looks fun!” Snails shouted as he watched from afar, before proceeding to slam his head into the ground repeatedly with laughter.
“DAAAAAAAAAAAADDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!”
“… Yes, Dear?” Filthy Rich asked, turning the page in his newspaper as he felt his leg suddenly becoming heavier and shaking seemingly on its own.
“Daddy, you know when you told me not to let a colt kiss me until I’m older?”
Filthy Rich lowered his newspaper and looked down at his daughter. “Yeeeeeees?”
“Well, what if it’s a filly?”
“… I’m sorry?”
“Alula kissed me on the cheek and told me she loves me and asked if I wanted to be her fillyfriend!” Diamond Tiara shouted, slapping the newspaper out of her father’s hooves and jumping onto his lap. “Is that normal?! Do we need to sue her?!”
“C-Calm down, Diamond,” Filthy Rich said, lifting his daughter and lowering her gently to the ground. “Ooooookay, so your friend Alula told you that she loves you…” Diamond Tiara nodded her head frantically.
“I thought fillies aren’t supposed to like other fillies! Isn’t it… weird?”
Filthy Rich sighed. He knew he should have just exposed Diamond Tiara to Silver Spoon’s ponypox, but nooooo, he wanted a ‘doctor’s opinion’ first. “Look, Diamond Tiara, I’m sure that you must be confused right now-”
“My life is a lie!”
“-But there’s no need to panic!” Filthy Rich quickly added. “I’m sure that Alula didn’t mean to put such pressure on you. As for fillies liking other fillies, there’s nothing wrong with that at all.”
Diamond Tiara seemed to calm down as she asked, “There isn’t?”
“So long as two ponies love each other, that’s all that matters.”
Diamond Tiara looked down for a second, and then looked back up and said, “Huh. But, I don’t think I like Alula that way.”
“And that’s fine,” Filthy Rich said with a smile. “Just be sure to let her down easily, okay?”
“I mean, she’s so poor, y’know?”
“… You know that there’s more to love than money, right?”
Diamond Tiara tilted her head. “Like what?”
Filthy Rich sighed again. “You’ll find out when you’re older,” he said, reclining back into his chair and reaching for his newspaper.
Diamond Tiara huffed with a pout and turned to leave. “You always say that,” she muttered as she stormed out of the room.
“‘When you’re older’. What does that even mean?!” Diamond Tiara slammed a hoof onto her table and took a sip of her milkshake. “Stupid Daddy…”
“I know, right?” Diamond Tiara turned her head to find a small brown colt sitting at her table. She recognised him as Button Mash, a colt just one year younger than her, but she didn’t know much about him other than he was the town’s biggest cry-baby. “My mum’s always like, ‘Put that down, Button, you’ll break it!’, ‘Don’t play with your father’s moustache, Button, it’s expensive!’! She treats me like a little kid!”
“Um, why are you sitting here?” Diamond asked.
“Oh, I saw you playing on your Game Colt and was wondering what game you were playing,” Button said, revealing his own Game Colt Advanced. A blue cartridge was poking out of the cartridge slot, in contrast to the yellow one in Diamond’s.
“You’re playing Luna version?” Diamond Tiara asked. “Huh. I thought I was the only one who had this game.”
“Me too!” Button exclaimed excitedly. “I’m glad I didn’t get Celestia version now!”
“Doesn’t really matter. Twilight version is coming out soon anyway.”
“Yeeeeah, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to get it. I mean, I spent all my allowance on other games this month and I’ve got sooooo many piled up at home!”
“Oh really?” Diamond Tiara asked, now intrigued. “I bet my collection is bigger.”
“My collection goes up to the ceiling!” Button Mash said, waving his forelegs for emphasis.
“My collection fills up my entire closet, and I can play it all on a screen as big as the sun!”
“Well, you’re rich, so it’s not fair!” Button retorted. “Besides, how many of them have you completed?”
Diamond Tiara bit her lip. Between hanging out with Silver Spoon and going to fancy parties with her dad, she had neglected a good portion of her collection. “A-A lot,” was all that she could answer with.
“My Gamerscore is fifty thousand,” Button said with a proud grin.
Diamond Tiara’s eyes widened and her heart skipped a beat. “F-Fifty…” Diamond Tiara felt herself getting warmer and took a quick drink of her milkshake to cool down. ‘Holy Celestia! I think I get what Dad was saying now about there being more to love than money!’
“Uh, you okay?”
Diamond Tiara grabbed Button Mash by the collar and said, “You! You’re my coltfriend from this point on!”
“W-What? But I-”
“Well don’t just sit there looking stupid! Invite me over to your house so I can meet your Gamersco- I mean, meet your parents!”
Button Mash looked around nervously. “I, uh, um… Alright,” he said with a nod, before climbing out of his seat with Diamond Tiara, who proceeded to lock hooves with him as the two walked out of the store together, earning ‘dawww’s from the patrons around them. ‘… Wait. Rich fillyfriend equals more videogames plus more pizza money which equals happy times!’ Button grinned upon reaching the startling conclusion, holding Diamond Tiara’s hoof tighter with resolve. “Sweeeet.”