Have you ever played a video game where at the start you have all the power then something takes it all away and leaves you weak? That my alicorn self right after the battle with Tirek, don’t get me wrong, I am more powerful than I was before but you really feel the difference.
I gotta learn to excerise control with Earth Pony strength too, accidently broke a couple of plates and my magic needs work, perhaps I might ask Twilight for help.
But now is not the time for today will be the day I finally get some from Firefly! We’ve been trying a long time but TODAY IS THE DAY!
“Firefly, there is no place I’d rather be than right now and nopony else I’d rather be with in this moment” I said as I prepared myself.
“Yes…take me…now!” Firefly moaned as I rubbed her pleasure spots
“Yes Ma’am” I said, who was I to disobey?
KNOCK KNOCK!
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
“Celestia damn it!” I cursed as I got up from Firefly to see who it was
I swear to bucking god this had better be good! If it’s not the end of the world than I don’t care, I will start beating the pony up even if it's Celestia and I don't know when I'll stop!
I open it to see Twilight and friends at the door with a Book...a Glowing book. I am honestly curious what that book is.
“Twilight, this had better be important” I said angrily
“It is, may we come in?” Twilight asked
“Fine” I groaned
I really was not in the mood for this, especially after the 50000000000000th cockblock. Seriously, isn't this cosmic joke getting old to these stupid gods/goddesses by now?
“So, some books came from the Princess, but when we got them, one of which was glowing and it was bearing Princess Celestia’s mark” Twilight started
“You disturbed my sex attempt for a glowing book? You’ve got 5 seconds to start running” I threatened with my glowing horn (MIND OUT THE BUCKING GUTTER! You were thinking it weren't you?)
“Wait! The important bit is that Sunset Shimmer contacted us through the book and…” Twilight said fast
“WOAH! Hold on! You mean to tell me that One: Sunset Shimmer contacted us through a world, I thought she was the villain of the place and got her just desserts and Two: how the buck did she contact us through a BOOK?! What’s next? Spike sends pointless instagram photos through his fire?” I asked confused
“The hay is Instagram?” Dash asked with a confused look
“Why it’s another big thing the magical world of the Internet.” I answered
“Internet?” Twilight asks
“Seriously? You experienced it in that mirror world! That’s a tool Sunset Shimmer used to make you look bad, it can be like that and URRRGGHHH! WHY AM I EXPLAINING THE INTERNET?! DID WE NOT DO SOME “I explain the human world to really curious purple bookworm” CHAPTER OR SOMETHING?!” I yelled in frustration
“Not really…there were those guns and stuff” Twilight said, remembering something
“Ah forget it! So something about Sunset Shimmer?” I asked
“What? Oh yes…well apparently her world is in danger from three strange beings called Sirens, which were originally from Equestria until StarSwirl the Bearded banished them. From what I know, they sing to brainwash their victims into hating one another and they feed off that” Twilight explained
“So basically they’re changelings that do hate instead of love?” I asked
“Basically” Twilight confirmed
“And really? Singing to brainwash the victims? Did we land in some crappy Fan-Fiction where absolutely nothing makes sense?” I asked
“What’s a fan-fiction?” Rarity asked
“It’s better if you didn’t know” I said
I don’t think they should ever be introduced to Cupcakes, Smile HD or some of the weird sexual ones, I may just scar them forever! Of course if I feel I must watch the world burn, I have many life-scarring tools at my disposal.
“But I can’t help but notice this whole thing is pointless due to one very annoying limitation, we can’t go back that world for what? 26-27 moons now?” I said
“Not to worry, I figured out a way to get it so we can go there anytime we want” Twilight said happily
Okay? Did she get some Fan-Fiction powers while I was not looking or something? I mean the whole 30 moons thing goes right out the window.
“I guess I have to go” I said
“Thank you, Lightning” Twilight said
I am only doing this because I know she would set her five friends to cockblock me if I didn’t come. Trust me! It will happen!
One portal sequence later…
“HEEEEEERREEEE'S BOLTY!!” I shouted as I landed on concrete
Note to self: Must file complaint to whoever makes portals about unnecessary spinning and dizziness, and to sue them.
“TWILIGHT!” The human friends scream
Annnnnnndddddd no respect for me! Typical! I notice Sunset is here and all awkward while Twilight and friends do their girly huggy reunion thing they do.
“Sooo, how’s it going?” I ask Sunset casually
“Fine, you?” Sunset replies
“Eh, beat a guy from Tartarus, got a horn and got dragged back here with Twilight, same old, same old” I said
“Just another day for Equestria” Sunset laughed nervously
“Yep, magnet trouble wherever we go, just like we are now” I said
“Yeah, those Dazzlings…” Sunset put eyes towards the school
“Well, I suppose we best let the girls do their thing, I might go find Firefly and Cloud Kicker, you seen em?” I asked
“They’re somewhere, but they are brainwashed most likely” Sunset said
“Damn…well I guess I’m the only non-female character next to Spike that isn’t brainwashed” I said
“You should of seen them, their pendants of theirs…they are clearly dark magic” Sunset says
So basically, the only reason they can do what they do is because of pendants? God does anyone in this damn universe use their damn hands for once? Oh yeah…I can say human stuff including swear words! You forget these things when you’re a pony for so long.
So I trail behind the girls to see Twilight try confront the Sirens and do their magic rainbow beam only a few problems with that…
One: It’s the start of the movie and therefore the bad guys (Or girls in this case) cannot be defeated.
Two: Magic, ain't gotta explain shit.
Three: Is it ever that easy to get rid of them?
So naturally Twilight ignored this and failed epicly, Twilight, I am Disappoint.
But from what I saw from them from my “Recon” this is what I gathered:
One: There are three of them, One has a hairstyle that sort of looks like the 80s a tiny bit, her name is Adagio, next is Aria, a pigtailed gril and last but not least is a ridiculously long ponytailed girl named Sonata Dusk.
Two: Source of Power is their pendants, which feeds of hatred so I guess they are cousins of the changelings or something? Speaking of which, any changeling like humans around here?
Three: Music beat all! In case of things going south I can play a guitar…well in Guitar Hero anyway and my drumming skills are pretty decent.
Four: This really is an Equestria Girls sequel and not a bad Fan-Fic.
So how do we get out of this? I dunno…sigh…I don’t know jack now and this honestly sucks!