//------------------------------// // Queen of the Hive // Story: The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody) // by TundraStanza //------------------------------// Please make sure that the "Formatting" setting in the top right is set to "Dark", not "Light". Thank you. A/N: I guess that last "Next Time" was a bit misleading. Sorry, Nicolas Cage fans. Properties in this chapter belong to Hasbro, Screwattack, Nintendo, and Gamefreak. --- The Moment No Pony was Waiting For Season 3 E 10 Was the director joking about his previous narrators dying? I seem to be fine. The insect kingdom is swarming with hundreds if not thousands of different species. They prefer quantity over quality, all giving their lives to serve their ungrateful queens. Chrysalis, the queen of the changelings. And Vespiquen, queen of the Combees. To allow room to test their battle orders, each will be allowed to bring five of their bug-like subjects to join their fight against each other. Why do they get five subordinates? Well, that's easy. Five subjects plus one queen equals six team members. It's like a six-on-six Pokemon battle. Exactly. He's W and I'm B. And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. ---Death Battle--- (Team) Chrysalis -Species: Changeling -Ability: Shapeshifting, but not ability copy -Powers: Levitation, magical beams, battering flame, voice mimicking, surface-climbing -Feed on love energy -Strong in numbers -The subjects can be knocked out fairly easily individually -The queen can get arrogant when she's winning "Twilight and her friends will-" Twilight and her friends get ushered into the room, flanked by changelings. "You were saying?" In folklore, changelings were depicted as the offspring of fairies or trolls that were secretly left in the place of human children. The swapped offspring would then feed and gain strength from the human mother's nurture and care. Ah, breast milk. Anyway, somebody thought it would be a great idea to create a horse-fly and call it that, even though these changelings can swap places with any pony toy, not just the child. Though, I'm sure they could still suckle the- It is currently unknown what the diet of changelings is composed of. However, Chrysalis stated that they can increase their strength by feeding off of love and that Equestria was practically a banquet. So wait, your big plan involved invading the capital with your army, instill fear in the populace, and then feed off their love for you. Anyone else smell bull*ess*? Confusing as her plans may be, she has proven to be a cunning manipulator. For an unspecified amount of time, she was able to replace Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and feed off the love of Shining Armor and brainwash him and a number of other unsuspecting ponies. Oh, so she slept with them! Wait, wouldn't that make her a succubus? Regardless, the changelings' capabilities are not to be taken lightly. While opening portals between the surface and underground is specific to their queen, the rest can still use their own bodies to act as battering rams to break through magical barriers. If they need to deal with physical barriers, they need only to surround themselves in a plume of green fire. How does that even work? I only saw metal armor being worn by about five of those horseflies. Where do you get those kinds of sparks? I suspect dark magic had something to do with it. Well, speaking of magical bugs, the changelings also have some weird surface tension that allows them to crawl on walls and ceilings when they don't feel like flying. The downside of being bug-like is that they can be crushed about as easily. Indeed, a good kick to the face or a blast of Twilight's stun beam can quickly knock them down for the count. Still, that doesn't count their ability to trap victims in green goo while off screen or Chrysalis' own ability to vaporize material simply by shooting it. But what is it with villains and their egos getting in the way right as they're about to claim victory over their prize? I mean the thing that gave her more strength than the sun's archangel actually surprised her when two lovebirds blasted her away with Expecto Patronum! What the hell? Maybe she went to the same classes about being evil as Dr. Eggman. They're both geniuses in their own way, but they never successfully took over for very long. Well, let's see what her team can do here. "It's all over!" ---Death Battle--- (Team) Vespiquen -Type: Bug/Flying -The queen's stats are below average; speed is abysmal -Vespiquen's attacks: Defend Order, Power Gem, Heal Order, Attack Order -Individual Combee's attacks: Sweet Scent, Gust, Bug Bite, Bug Buzz -Each Combee has okay speed, but abysmal stats overall -Follow the queen's orders and direction without question -Extremely weak against rocks, fire, and lightning It releases various pheromones to make the grubs in its body do its bidding while fighting foes. Heavily sought by Floaroma Town for her sweet honey, Vespiquen rules over a hive of wall-like Combee. Wait, wait, wait! Are you telling me that we had a bee Pokemon back in the very first generation but it took them three more to come up with a queen bee and then they decided to turn the honeycombs into Pokemon by adding faces to them? They're called Gamefreak, B. I doubt logic is going to prevent them from making new redundant Pocket Monsters. Dang it, you got me there. Vespiquen can only evolve from a female Combee. That's sexist! What about all those Combee that want to be drag queens? Who's going to support their dreams? Uh... *ahem* Supposedly, there are grubs that live underneath Vespiquen's body that attack and defend for her. Wait, what kind of Pokemon are the grubs? I... don't know. There's no good visual of them outside of gameplay. I really don't think a dozen Combee are going to fit up that woman's skirt. Er... How about we move onto stats and attacks? Each individual Combee has an abysmal stat pool, preferring to work together as a wall than fight on their own. While Vespiquen's stats are slightly better than her subjects, her speed suffers heavily when she spends her days at the center of the hive. Most of her attacks involve barking orders at her subjects. Hell, they've even got "Order" in their names. Defend Order and Heal Order increase her defensive power and recover her health respectively. Attack Order sends her grubs or Combee out to... well, attack her enemy. What else would it do? That leaves room for one more attack in her arsenal: Power Gem. It's the most common move that she wields on her own and hurls bright glowing gemstones at the opponent. It's a glass house's worst nightmare. They're not exactly going to win official tournaments anytime soon with their less-than-average stats, but you can be assured that they will not simply hand you a victory if you face them. They don't have hands to begin with! ... or legs for that matter. "Beequen!" ---Death Battle--- All right, the combatants are set. Let's settle this debate once and for all. Don't forget to use "OFF!" for all your insect repellant needs and Benadryl for those nasty red spots after they've set fire to your skin. But right now, it's time for a Death Battle! ---Death Battle--- Business around the dark and dank hive seems to be about usual. Various subjects that look exactly like each other fly around. Their wings give off insect-like buzzing. Suddenly, a huge and bright yellow line cuts through the area. All the bugs cover their eyes against the intrusive light. When it finally dies down enough to see, the queen's eyes snap to attention. What is this other hive intruding upon hers? With a single barked order, her five bravest warriors come to her aid. Angry glares are exchanged between enemies. "FIGHT!" Vespiquen used Attack Order! Uh... thanks, subtitle. Way to take my job away from me. Well, whatever. The five Combee fly forward with their angry emoticon faces. "Go!" Chrysalis indicates forward. The changelings take aerial leaps against the invaders. One gets caught up in a Combee's tiny tornado. Another takes a fanged bite of the honeycomb only to be bitten by the second Combee's small mouth in return. The third Combee releases a pink mist which puts an idiotic smile on the third changeling. But that Combee quickly gets hit by a green inferno surrounding Changeling Number Four. Combee Four and Five try combining their flapping wings to buzz even faster. This creates an extremely painful supersonic vibration. The fifth changeling has to cover its ears while scrunching its face up in pain. Changeling Number Four performs the green flare blitz once more and stops the incessant buzzing. Some front hoof action from the rest manages to drive the Combee back a few feet. Meanwhile, Vespiquen crosses her arms in a guard movement. Vespiquen used Defend Order! The Combee retreat to right in front of their queen. All together, they look like a honeycomb wall with amateur faces drawn on certain hexagons. Chrysalis' fangs show in a crooked smile. She holds out a hoof straight in front of her. The changelings fly up before performing five simultaneous aerial dives. Green plumes of fire surround their fronts. The collision with the enemy is a wipeout. Five bruised and bitten honeycombs lie on the ground. Their emoticon faces now look like spirals and x's. The changelings take slow, dramatic steps toward the enemy. But as they do so, several white and pointy dots appear around Vespiquen's vicinity. She uncrosses her arms. Vespiquen used Power Gem! There is a sound reminiscent to that of a shotgun firing its spread. White gems fly in all directions. Despite their armor, all five of the changeling subjects recoil in pain. One by one, they all fall to the ground. Some of their legs twitch before their bodies stop moving entirely. Chrysalis is now snarling in fury. Vespiquen used Heal Order! ... But it failed. Chrysalis' horn glows a sickly green before releasing a large beam of energy. It collides with Vespiquen. Her exterior fuzz comically burns up into ashes before revealing... um, oh my. Let me just put a giant censor rectangle over all of that and... there. That's much more decent. Chrysalis' aura alters frequency slightly. She surrounds Vespiquen in a green aura before turning the honeycomb queen upside down. She then slams her enemy straight down. There's a rather unpleasant squishing noise. You know what? I'll just censor all of Vespiquen's body now. There. "Vespiquen fainted!" As a finishing touch, Chrysalis conjures up her green hellish fire. Vespiquen's remains find themselves on a one-way path to the underground. ---Death Battle--- Man, that fight really bugged me. The grunts of both Chrysalis and Vespiquen are strong in numbers, but are easily overcome by basic attacks. Therefore, a final battle between the queens was inevitable. Vespiquen isn't used to coming out of her hive. Her reliance on her hive proved to be her downfall. Chrysalis may have a superiority complex, but not for lack of effort on her own part. In fact, she can hold her own if forced into a conflict of raw power and magic. Vespiquen's low speed meant that avoiding Chrysalis' onslaught was too difficult. In the end, Vespiquen had to cover her *ss for the worst. The winner is Queen Chrysalis. ---Death Battle--- Next time on Death Battle... "Oh dear." "Please, please, no." *whimper* ---