//------------------------------// // The Race of Champions // Story: The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody) // by TundraStanza //------------------------------// A/N: Man, I was really hoping I could think up some more events to happen in my other story "Seven Princesses of Light". But I've got writer's block in that regard. So, in the meantime while I'm ignoring homework, let's get started with another Death Battle parody. Properties belong to Hasbro, Screw Attack, and Sega. Read, relax, and review (well, comment but you get the point). --- The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (5) ---Death Battle--- You know, I worry about the director sometimes. I think he's starting to run out of ideas. But hey, I'm not getting paid to give my opinion. Actually, I'm not getting paid at all but that's beside the point. Various pictures of Nascar and Mario Kart flood the screen. These are followed by pictures of stands in winner's circles. B starts with enthusiasm, "There are two things in life I've come to really like: going fast and winning." W responds, "Well, you're in luck then, B, because this time we're bringing together two winners from previous Death Battles that are the fastest of the fast." "Sonic the Hedgehog, the blue blur." "And Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty." "He's W and I'm B." "And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle." ---Death Battle--- The title card parts to reveal a fairly confident blue anthro hedgehog. "Since we've gone over Sonic's repertoire before," begins W, "Let's do a quick recap." Various stat screens appear as W continues. "Sonic is often called the fastest thing on his feet. Notably, he's been able to reach the speed of light on numerous occasions, though his average typically sticks out at just over 765 miles per hour." "And he still hasn't changed those shoes?" B guffaws, "He must have some really stinky feet by now." "His figure-8 and spin dash techniques allow him to reach top speed almost instantly and his driving speed isn't too shabby either." "Why the hell would he drive a car?" "Although Sonic can't swim, his bubble shield allows him to breathe underwater as well as provide a powerful bounce to his jumps." "His other shields include a magnetic shield that attract power rings, a fire shield that protects against heat, and a green shield that's good for blocking one fatal blow." "As we've said before, the 7 Chaos Emeralds grant Sonic the power and speed of Super Sonic. However, this is just one of several forms he can acquire. Should he absorb negative Chaos energy, he becomes Dark Sonic a form whose abilities rival and may even surpass his super form." "So it's Super Sonic with an emo complex." "Sonic also has item-specific forms. When he wields the legendary sword Excalibur, he gains the golden armor of King Arthur which boosts his speed, invulnerability, and enables flight." "So it's Super Sonic with a sword." "Wielding the World Rings allows Sonic to use the form of Darkspine Sonic, a slightly darker and more violent form of Super Sonic." "So it's Super Sonic with anger issues." "Transforming the Chaos Emeralds into Super Emeralds allows Sonic to become Hyper Sonic." "So it's Super Sonic with rainbows." "Will you stop that?" "What? It's true." "But no matter what form he takes, he's always willing to save the day." A clip of Sonic on planet Wisp has him telling off Eggman with the phrase, "No copyright law in the universe can stop me!" ---Death Battle--- A picture of a proud cyan Pegasus with a 7-colored mane shows up on screen after the title card splits. "Now that's the second most awesome pony I've ever seen," declares B, clearly remembering Fluttershy from last episode. "We briefly covered Rainbow Dash in her last battle, but there's plenty more to discuss," states W, "Her wing power of 16.5 gives her enough velocity to reach mach 5 speeds." Statistics and factoids appear on screen as W keeps talking. "As a Pegasus, she can manipulate tornadoes, lightning, and precipitation. She can also stand and walk on clouds." "Does that mean she's high?" B jokes. W conveniently ignores him, "Her Sonic Rainboom technique allows her to breech Mach 10 speeds and break the visible light spectrum. It is also argued that this technique can be used to demolish old buildings. Other researchers claim that it's a different technique entirely and have dubbed it the Atomic Rainnuke." "This pony's a nuclear bomb?!" "Despite her usually steadfast, loyal character, Rainbow can get prideful and overconfident. She shares this problem with Sonic. When her pride is attacked, she gets stressed and worried about the possibility of failure." "Dash doesn't like losing." "I hate losing," confirms a recording of Rainbow Dash. W continues, "She typically rushes into a problem headfirst which leaves no time for any actual planning for more complex problems." "She's too fast and too furious," concludes B. A clip of Rainbow in Ghastly Gorge shows her saying, "Dun dun dun! ...Gesundheit." ---Death Battle--- W declares, "All right, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all." B says, "Don't forget to check out Screw Attack's website when you get the chance. But right now, it's time for a Death Battle!" ---Death Battle--- A section of land resembling Green Hill Zone minus the robots has been set aside for our match today. The challengers waste no time showing up onscreen. "Ready to do this?" asks the confident blue hedgehog. "Aw, yeah!" replies the just-as-confident cyan Pegasus. "FIGHT!" The fighters are quickly lost from the camera's view, as their speedy forms resemble blurs of color smacking across each other in rapid succession. Neither of them misses a beat nor slows down. Sonic tries to boost his damage with his fire shield power-up. Rainbow responds by flying out of range before bringing in a rain cloud. A bit of bouncing on her part leaves Sonic drenched and unshielded. She takes this opportunity to fly around Sonic with her Rainblow Dry tornado. Though initially caught in the twister, Sonic quickly spin dashes his way into his own Sonic Wind attack spinning in the opposite direction of the tornado. The result is a gentle breeze in every direction. Rainbow tries bringing in a thunderhead to scare Sonic with lightning bolts, but Sonic is one step ahead of her with a magnetic shield already in place. The lightning zaps the shield, but curves around it, leaving Sonic unfazed. But then Rainbow Dash brings in another rain cloud to quickly vaporize the shield. Strangely, Sonic is dry this time. "Now it's time to get serious!" he declares. He starts spin dashing a bit faster while he seems to gather light particles. Dash seems to get take this as a hint to start her strongest attack. She flies up higher than she normally dares to soar. At the peak of her ascension, she immediately starts flying downward adding the pull of gravity to her already fast pace. Down on the ground, Sonic's Light Speed Attack is almost fully charged. The last particles surround Sonic in a pale blue light as he shouts, "Ready?" Three seconds pass before he runs forward shouting, "Go!" Dash is 7 meters above the ground and closing in fast. It's convenient that the particular point is where both competitors are aiming. "RAAAAH!" yells Dash as she careens toward the ground. As Sonic reaches the point, a huge mushroom cloud of seven colors covers a large portion of the visible sky. The explosion is joined by a white ring of light resembling that of a flash grenade. It's difficult to see anything for the next few moments. As the smoke and debris finally start to clear, we see two tuckered out speedsters lying on the ground eyes closed. At first, it looks like they both bit the dust until a chuckle escapes the mouth of the blue hedgehog. A responsive chuckle is heard from the Pegasus. Before long, both are laughing like a couple of idiots. "That was incredible," says Sonic. "That was awesome," agrees Dash. Both of them get up slowly, each covered with haphazard bruises. As they walk toward each other, the look of fight is gone. Instead looks of admiration cross their faces. "We should compete again someday," he says. "Yeah, when we're both at our best," she responds. "Catch you later!" they shout together as they speed off in separate directions. "FRIENDSHIP!" "Friendship? Again?" ---Death Battle--- "Fast things and explosions!" shouts B. "Their speeds were evenly matched, making simple brawling a null option," observed W. "Even their tornadoes were equally powered." "It seemed this battle would finally reach its end when Sonic's Light Speed Attack met Rainbow's Atomic Rainnuke." "And it kind of did," B says in a voice that's kind of let down at the deathless conclusion. "With both combatants on respectful terms, this Death Battle is a draw." Pictures of both contestants are shown side-by-side with the bold word "DRAW" underneath. ---Death Battle--- Credits play to the sound of "City Escape". --- A/N: Was there ever any doubt? As cocky as either of them are, I think props is an appropriate way to end a parody chapter. As far as personalities are concerned, they're practically identical: loyal and true. Properties belong to their owners. I gain no profit. Blah, blah, you know. Oh, FYI, I'm not going to do a whole lot of editing to the Main Character Tags. With there being a 5 tag limit and no guarantee that certain characters actually become a part of this... yeah. Later days!