//------------------------------// // Chapter One, Part Three // Story: The Misadventure Of: A Bunch Of Silly Ponies That Just So Happen To Not Be Applejack // by OCisbestpony //------------------------------// Part Three Berry covered her mouth. She hadn't meant to make such a noise. Nor had she meant to be so loud. Nor had she meant to blast poor Colgate into her wall with the force of her voice. Nevertheless, there was now yet another pony shaped imprint on her wall (this was not the first time poor Colgate had been blown into one of the walls of her house, nor, sadly, would it be the last). After taking a moment to collect herself, and appraise the situation, she made her way over to her poor pal. She was stuck in there something fierce. On top of that, she could see her eyes were full of spirals. It was clear the blow knocked her senseless. Letting out a sigh, she made her way over to her gardening closet. Opening it, she began to dig through her tools. Rake? No. Hoe? No. Spade? Almost, but no. Pitchfork? No, that was saved for angry mob Mondays. Ah, here it was, her Pony Prying Pole. Making her way back to the wall, she inserted it between the wall and Colgate. She gave it a push. Nothing. Grunting, she gave it another push to try and pry her out. Still nothing. It was clear more drastic measures would be needed. Pausing to think, she came up with a brilliant idea. Making her way into her backroom, where her workshop was, she made her way over to where she stored the specialty orders. Digging through the various bottles, she found the perfect one. Granted, it wasn't usually her style to drink the stuff she made for customers, but drastic times call for drastic measures. This particular bottle was one she had made for Applejack's little sister, when she got old enough. To make sure that the day would be memorable, AJ had asked if she would add a couple of extra ingredients. Berry thought she was crazy, but did as she asked; even if she thought the idea of mixing in small amounts of both Poison Joke and Heart's Desire was insane. Still, Colgate was stuck in her wall, and she needed to get her out. She had sampled the brew before she bottled it, and so knew its effects on her. That's how she knew it would be exactly what she would need. Breaking the seal, and popping the cork, she poured herself a glass. It was a shame to break a bottle's seal before its time, but perhaps she could cheat and make a new batch. After all, her breath was so foul she could fully ferment juice just by breathing on it. Taking a deep breath, she held up the glass. “Well Colgate, this one's for you!” She downed it in one swig. It was rather weak, but tasted alright. She quickly put the glass back down on something stable, and ran from the room. She would only have a moment before its effects kicked in. Almost on cue, her body suddenly convulsed. Her limbs grew and shrank like rubber and her head enlarged and shrank like a balloon. She began twisting around like a rubber band and bouncing across the room like some sort of ball. Needless to say, this all felt very, very weird. Her legs finally began to grow and thicken. Her torso also enlarged as well as her head. Her mane shrunk and finally, her chin changed from rounded to squared. She had become a stallion. A big one at that too. He was easily as big as Bic Mac, and if past experience was right, just about as strong too. He stumbled about the room for a moment. He wasn't used to the feeling of being so big, nor the feeling of being a guy. Shaking his head, he set his mind on the task at hand: freeing Colgate. Placing one massive hoof on the Pony Prying Pole, he gave it a good push. Still nothing. “OH COME ON!” He shouted, and with two hooves, and all his might, he gave it a mighty shove. Had he been paying attention, he would noticed at this point Colgate had finally come to her senses. As it was, he had not. Rather, with that mighty push he not only freed her, but propelled her into the opposite wall making yet another Colgate shaped indent. Needless to say, poor Colgate was knocked senseless once more. Berry's jaw dropped open. Oops. He hoped that Colgate wouldn't be mad for that. Picking up the PPP, he made his way over to Colgate once again. This time, after placing the PPP into position, he gave it a more careful, but strong push. Colgate popped out and landed with a soft thud on the ground; her eyes once again spirals. Heading into the backroom again, Berry grabbed a bottle that he used to wake himself up in the mornings. He knew how much Colgate didn't like drinking this kind of stuff, but again, desperate times, desperate measures. Lifting her head, and opening her mouth, he poured some of the foul smelling drink in. After a moment, Colgate suddenly came to, coughing and sputtering. “Berry!” she coughed out, “You know I hate that st-” she suddenly stopped. She started looking at Berry with very wide eyes. **** He was gorgeous. Colgate had no idea who this stallion was, but he was simply dreamy. He had a flowing mane, a strong chin, and wonderful eyes. It seemed as though the very air around him was filled with little hearts and singing birds. Given that things like that could actually happen in Ponyville, Colgate wasn't sure if she was imagining them or not. “Who,” she started, “are you?” Her eyes filling with both stars and hearts. Her voice was almost dreamy. “Uh,” the stallion replied awkwardly (though Colgate didn't notice), “Colgate? It's me, Berry. You know, Berry Punch?” Colgate almost didn't hear him. So far gone was she, that she was all but running through a field of flowers towards this mighty colt. The thing that snapped her out of her revere was his breath. There was no mistaking that evil thing. She blinked. Several times. “BERRY?” she shouted. She quickly scrambled to her hooves. “BERRY?!” She shouted again. She was shocked. How...why...when...it was impossible! She shook her head. Perhaps the twin blows to her head was causing her to see things. She looked again. Nope, still a stallion standing there. “How...how did this happen?!?” She was so confused. “Well,” said Berry (by Celestia he had an amazing voice. So deep, so … Coltly!), “I couldn't pry you out of the wall so I drank some liquor that had some Poison Joke and Heart's Desire mixed in to make me stronger. The fact that I turned into a stallion's a side effect I guess.” And such a handsome one at that. Suddenly, she felt very embarrassed. She turned her head away and she could suddenly feel her face getting hot. “A side effect? You call that a side effect! Well … hurry up and change back! It's really weird looking at you like that!” Colgate said, shutting her eyes hard. Unbeknownst to Colgate, something suddenly dawned on Berry. He realized what was going through Colgate's mind. He smiled an evil grin. “Oh?” he asked, “You want to change me back? Well, it just so happens that there is no way to change me back. We just have to wait until the drink wears off.” He said, his smile getting bigger. “Looks like you're stuck with this until then.” He said as he lifted his head to toss his mane. Colgate fumed. Why did he have to be so handsome?! Everything about him was perfect! Even his voice was exactly as she had fantasized her perfect stallion to have. Turning her back to him, she made her way to the door. “Anyway!” she said, “You know what this all means. We have to leave right away! That Toothbrush of the Royal Sisters isn't going to reclaim itself you know!” And with that she opened the door and stepped outside, right into another pony. ***** Lyra and Bon Bon were not the only ponies in town to hear those squeals. Truth be told, everypony heard them. They were also not the first ponies to arrive at Berry's cottage, nor were they first to begin worrying about what was going on inside. Not long after they had arrived, a loud crash came from inside the home. “That's it! I'm going inside to see what's going on!” Shouted one rather excited pegasus. “Hold on there partner!” shouted back another, more calm farmer pony. “We don't have a clue what's in there. 'Could just be Berry 'stumbin about fer all we know.” “Berry doesn't go BOOM.” replied the perturbed pegasus pony. “Clearly you an't heard her afta' a potato n' bean soup fest.” The smiled the earth pony. The pegasus rolled its eyes but said nothing more. A moment later, the crowd that had gathered outside begun to hear shouting from inside. “Alright, THAT'S NOT NORMAL!” Shouted the pegasus, who then made a dive for the door. She almost made it, except for the fact that she was suddenly caught by a lasso and pulled back. “Hold on there partner! We gotta have a plan before we go bargin' in there!” “Indeed. I agree with her, it would be most impolite to simply barge in there without some form of invitation.” piped up a white unicorn. During this argument, Lyra had decided to make her way up to the door. Given that the crowd had all begun to argue amongst themselves (Bon-Bon included), it was fairly easy for her to make her way up there. As she reached for the door, it suddenly flew open, and Lyra found herself with a face-full of Colgate. ***** One impromptu wrestling match later, both ponies found themselves tangled up in a heap of hooves and manes on the ground surrounded by a gawking crowd. A moment later, Berry popped his head out. “You ok Colgate?” he asked. Suddenly sensing he was being stared at, he looked up. What greeted him was dozens of wide eyes. Most of them confused, though a few were more then infatuated. “I'm fine Berry!” Colgate responded as she attempted to untangle herself from Lyra. The crowd gasped. “Wait, Berry?!” came one confused voice. Colgate looked at the crowd (as both she and Lyra stood up and began brushing themselves off). “Yeah, that's Berry. She drank something and it turned her into a stallion.” she sighed. Suddenly, the looks of confusion turned into shock. As for the looks of infatuation? Well, suddenly their owners felt themselves feeling very confused. Unfortunately, Lyra's eyes were amongst them. She had locked eyes with him just as Colgate had announced that this stallion was indeed Berry. Suddenly, Lyra had no idea what to feel anymore. Confusion was a good start. Yeah, she would start with that. Fascination was a good second feeling. She would go with that too, but beyond that, her emotions and thoughts were too much of a jumble. Suddenly sensing Lyra's distress, Bon-Bon made her way over to her. “Are you alright?” she asked. “Y...yeah.” Lyra responded, not quite taking her eyes off of Berry. Bon-Bon huffed a little, then looked at Berry. Not a smart move. Suddenly, she could understand all too well what was going on in Lyra's mind. However, unlike Lyra, she was going have none of this nonsense. Stomping a hoof to the ground, she spoke, “What is going on here?” She demanded. Even in the face of the strangest moments, Bon Bon had a clear head on her shoulders. The crowd's eyes eagerly awaited the response. Berry blushed a little and scuffed a hoof on the ground sheepishly (despite his rather mighty bulk, this act was incredibly adorable). “Well,” he began, “it's like she said. She came to tell the that the Lost Toothbrush of the Royal Sisters had been found. That was when I kinda lost it. I kinda squealed really loud, loud enough to blow her into my wall...” he explained. “Again!” Colgate interrupted. Berry cleared his throat, a sound that would have cause many an ignorant mare to swoon, and continued, “... so I had to pry her out. But she was in deep enough that I couldn't get her out by myself. So I took a sip of a drink I had made...” “You didn't...” said the farmer. “Yeah, I did.” came the sheepish answer, “And this is what happened.” he said with a shrug. “Good thing Twilight's out of town, or else she'd most likely run all sorts of tests on you!” exclaimed the white one. “We wouldn't have time for that anyway! Berry and I have to go and get the Toothbrush. We're already wasting time as it is, and we need to get going.” Colgate tried her best to sound annoyed, but sadly, the more angry or irritated she got, the more adorable her voice and mannerisms became. As a result, several of the ponies in the crowds tried to stifle smiles and giggles in response. Giving another annoyed grunt, she turned back to Berry, looked at him, blushed again, turned her head, grabbed his leg, and began tugging it. “Come on, we've got to get through the Everfree before the sun goes down!” “Wait, where did you say it was?” asked Berry. “I didn't tell you? It's in the the Hayseed Swamps, right at the border of Equestria.” Colgate explained. “Wait, Hayseed Swamps? Are you serious? And why don't we just take the train to Dodge then go from there?” Berry asked. He was actually kinda surprised. He was usually too tipsy to think so clearly, but clearly that drink had another side-effect that he had not expected. “Because,” said Colgate, “The exact location is found in a book found in some old ruins said to be in the Everfree.” “Hold on,” started the pegasus, “You're saying that you don't actually know where it is, so you're going to find some old book in some old ruins? Do you even know where these ruins are? Who told you this?” “A merchant I know who deals with exotic goods and magical artifacts. I actually buy floss from him all the time. And yes I do.” Colgate insisted. “Any case, we've got to go. Come on Berry.” And with that, and a little more tugging, the two of them made their way to the edge of the Everfree. Unbeknownst to them however, two ponies followed them in the shadows...