//------------------------------// // Chapter 29: What the Hell Happened? // Story: Bailing Out // by PhillyCh3zSt3ak //------------------------------// A/N: Sorry for the extreme delay guys, I've just been going through some things in my personal life that made me push this further and further back until finally getting it done. I was originally planning on getting this out by Christmas, but that didn't happen thanks to a nasty strain of the flu. New Year's became a bust when I needed to take someone to the hospital multiple times. So I finally get it done when Xbox LIVE decides to go ape shit on me. Oh and don't even start on internet issues thanks to Time Warner, when Google Fiber comes to town I'm immediately signing up. So without further ado, I present chapter 29. As I begin to wake up I feel two warm appendages around my abdomen and two fleshy bags of wonderfulness pressed against my back. I open my eyes and look over my shoulder to see Spitfire sleeping peacefully. That being the case I slowly and carefully remove her arms and slip out of bed. This room that Twilight set us up with in the local inn is pretty nice. I walk groggily over to the bathroom and close the door behind me. I lift the lid off the toilet and reach down to… “What the-?” I say as I look down only to see that my best friend since birth is missing. I quickly move over to the mirror and see that instead of a slightly muscular man in his prime is a sixteen to seventeen year old young woman with teal hair, a slim body, white wings, and C-cup breasts. I reached up and squeezed them a few times. Sue me, any other guys would do the same in my situation. Then a phrase slipped out of my mouth, and it was-. “HOLY FUCKIN’ ASS CRACKERS!” I exclaimed in a girly shriek. The door burst open and standing in the doorway was a nude Spitfire, “Andrew, what happened- who the fuck are you?” she demanded. “Spits it’s me, it’s just,” I gestured to my body. “I have no idea what the fuck happened.” “Ok that’s Andrew’s foul language and mannerisms,” she muttered. “And quit staring at your boobs. Oh don’t give me that look,” she said as she saw my pouting face. “You’ll get tired of them soon enough. A better question is how you got this way.” “You and me both. What happened last night?” “Well after the whole revelation of the complex and the video…” *** The previous night… “But how is that possible? When you found that I was still back in Vegas doing something or another,” I asked. “In the video you looked older, not physically but emotionally and mentally,” Twilight replied. “Like something bad happened and you were doing damage control.” “How would you know what that looks like?” Spitfire asked. “My brother was the same after the attack on his wedding. I never figured out why, since I never specialized as a psychologist, but I figured that the events with both Sombra and Chrysalis made a huge impact on his psyche. I figure some large scale event impacted you whenever that video was recorded.” “Was anyone able to explore more of that facility?” Spitfire asked. “No. All areas except for a few, primarily the infirmary, kitchens, that first room, and a few quarters; everything else was sealed off and won’t open. Even with some of our most powerful equipment we can’t cut through that metal,” Twilight answered. “Maybe it’s time we made our way to this place and see for ourselves. If Andrew truly was the person in that video, maybe somehow he can open it.” “And how would we do that? I haven’t even seen this place,” I countered. “Well perhaps ‘other you’ thought about this in advance. If ‘other you’ could lead us to ‘you’ you, then what’s to say that he didn’t prepare for something like this?” Celestia asked. *** Back to the present I sat on the bed, using my button-up shirt to cover myself up, holding a mug of hotel coffee. To be honest, it wasn’t bad. “So, what happened after that?” Spits sighed as she wrapped her wing around my shoulders, a similar mug of coffee sitting on the end table. “Well we discussed a time in which we could travel up to wastelands outside the Empire to look at the ship-facility-thing.” “So how did I end up a chick?” “Well even I’m not too sure about that,” Spits replied sheepishly. “What do you know then?” “Well shortly after saying their goodbyes, Celestia after she grabbed a slice of cake, Luna left after grabbing a bottle of wine saying, ‘Back to dealing with annoying nobles. Fare thee well’ before leaving. Cadence stayed for a while before she too had to leave, mainly because you’re her great and then some uncle. After that, well, you really go into the party.” *** At the party After plans were made I decided it best to sate the host of the party by participating a little. I agree with Twilight when she said that Pinkie can be a bit eccentric. The instant I walked down the stairs she apologized for not listening to both Twilight and Spitfire about surprise parties and me. I told her that it was ok and that if she wanted to plan a party for me in the future, a non-surprise one, she was more than welcome to. That cheered her up a lot, and she sped away only to appear with a binder that said ‘Pinkie’s Super Party Planning Binder: Pinkie’s Eyes Only’ and in subtext ‘(That Means You Too, Author)’. Yeah, she really is random, though I bet I haven’t even scratched the bottom of the barrel. There were games for the younger kids of the town, which honestly wasn’t all that surprising since apparently this was one of the ‘top ten places to start a family’, which was right next to ‘top ten places that weird things happen constantly’. I talked to each of Twilight’s friends, minus Pinkie since I already talked to her. Twilight was like she is portrayed in the show, adorkable. She’s intelligent headstrong and any guy she gets together with would be lucky. Rainbow Dash, while very cocky, would throw herself in front of a moving bus if it meant saving one of her friends. Considering that she was giving me a mixture of fangirlish rage and examining looks as though she were sizing me up for something; she kept trying to use her feminine charm, which let’s be honest was more tomboyish, to get information out of me. If I were a betting man I’d say she was straight based on how she talked to me and several other guys at the party. Fluttershy was, in fact, very shy. As I tried to talk to her for the first time I couldn’t really hear her introduce herself, mainly because of the dubstep-like music playing in the background. Also I could tell that she was shooting glances at the eldest Apple sibling, whom she would look away from every time they met each other’s gaze. In the ten minutes I spoke with her I could tell that the Elements chose well as she fit Kindness to a T. Rarity was a bit of an enigma, she liked high society and culture but not the snootiness that came with it. How you can manage those two without them intersecting is a feat altogether. She was generous enough to say that if I needed a tuxedo or suit in the future she would make one for free since she really doesn’t get many male customers; I might just take her up on that. Applejack based on the strength of the handshake she gave me, and the callouses on them, I could tell that she worked hard for a living. She had the whole southern accent and hospitality as well, offering drinks and food until my belt was ready to go ballistic and rip through a wall. In the short time I talked with her I could tell that she was kind, and could compete with Fluttershy for the Element of Kindness, I couldn’t really tell how truthful she was, but then again this was just a casual conversation. I spent the rest of the time talking to some of the other citizens of the town. There was a dentist who ran a practice all on her own, good for her. There was the one named Ditzy Doo, oddly enough the cousin of Daring Doo, and her daughter who loved to bake muffins and sell them as much as they liked eating them. Apparently she is married to some kind of Doctor, she never did really say what he practiced. There was this nice redhead who was a florist, maybe I’ll stop over there later tomorrow and get some flowers for Spits. There was also that DJ, apparently she was hired out of Manehatten and does parties as well as hosting a nightclub a few times a week. There was the school teacher that taught both primary and secondary in town since it was a smaller town in comparison to some of the larger towns and cities. “Hey, you!” I turned around from talking to Cheerilee to see a trio of middle school aged children. “What’s your special talent?” the purple-haired Angel asked. “Come again?” I asked. “You heard me, what’s your cutie mark?” I paused for a moment, realizing who these three were. “I don’t have one,” I replied nonchalantly. The trio gasped as if their entire belief system had been shaken. “How can you naught have yers?” the redheaded girl named Applebloom asked. “Maybe because I’m a Jack of all Trades,” I replied with a smirk, which got me nowhere. “Because I feel I can be whatever I want to be and not letting some icon that displays my talent for everyone to see tell me what I should do with my life, but that’s just me,” I finished before taking a drink of the hard cider Applejack brought for the adults at the party. “Well if you don’t have yours, what hope is there that we’ll get ours?” the cotton candy haired Mage asked. “Just do things that you want to do, it’ll show up eventually.” “What’s with the ones and zeroes on yer arm?” Applebloom asked. “Oh, so you noticed that?” I asked. They nodded in return. “It’s a series of dates to remember in binary.” “Binary?” Scootaloo asked. “It’s a numbering system consisting of only zeroes and ones. Of course there’s base eight known as octo, and base sixteen known as hexadecimal but that’s a different story. Each place is a factor of two. So 01 is one, 10 is two, 11 is three, and so on and so forth.” “So the first one, 100 1101 1010000 would be,” Applebloom paused for a moment. “Four, thirteen, eighty.” “My mother’s birthday,” I replied. “You’re pretty sharp, kid. Not many your age can do other number bases without a sheet of paper.” “Ah have mah brother to thank fer that, he’s the family accountant,” she replied proudly. After a few more hours the children were sent home and the adults remained. Everything was civil, until someone decided to bring up a drinking game. It might have been me but I will neither confirm nor deny that. I did however provide the content: Archer. After that everything became a blur. *** Present time “Ok so what did happen after that?” I asked while getting dressed in my fresh clothes. “I stopped paying attention and you disappeared. Next thing I knew you were walking out of the Everfree drunk as could be. After that we had drunken sex and just passed out here in our hotel room. Next thing I know I’m waking up with you being a sixteen year old teenage girl. What’s with the color inverse?” Spits asked. “No clue. What do we do now?” “Well we could ask Twilight what could cause this.” “She is the town’s smartest person, and resident Princess. Why not?” And with that we left the hotel and headed over to ‘Magic Castle’. Last time I checked it didn’t have an official name, well yet at least. I mean Celestia and Luna’s castle is called ‘Canterlot castle’ and Cadence’s is called ‘The Crystal Palace’, so I bet it’ll get a name soon. Probably the ‘Palace of Friendship’ or something like that, but I digress. As we walked up to the main entrance of the castle we were stopped by a guard. “Halt! What is your business with the Princess?” he asked authoritatively. “We would like to see her to investigate how my husband,” Spits trailed while the guard just raised an eyebrow. “Just… run with it for now. Ended up like this.” He looked at me, just staring. “Take a photo, it’ll last longer,” I said, snapping him out of his daze. “My apologies ma’am,” he said while I internally scowled at being called ‘ma’am’. “If you could, could you let her highness know that this is a personal matter to be discussed in private?” Spitfire asked. Good call too since if a certain douche prince caught wind of this, he’d make my life hell just by annoying me. Thank God I’m not related to that assnugget by blood as I would find whoever sired him, figure out how to travel back in time, travel back in time, kick his father in the groin the night he was supposed to be conceived, and come back home in time for dinner. Or something like that. “Of course, Lady Spitfire,” the guard replied. Apparently since I’m blood related to Cadence that makes me and my immediate family a minor noble, not that I care about status or anything. However I do plan on wearing the most casual clothing I can and get into the fanciest restaurants that cater to the uppity nobles and look like I really don’t give a flying fuck. Side note, introduce the Flying Fuck flying remote control helicopter to the markets. The guard walked inside and came out a moment later. “The Princess is currently with another, however she has been made aware of your request and has invited you to wait in her personal library. If you would please follow my fellow guard,” he said gesturing to the Mage guard now standing in the doorway. He lead us to the library that we met in the previous night and once we stepped inside he closed the door. I started to go over the books again like I did the other night. This time one caught my eye, it was called ‘Equestrian Marriage Rituals Through the Ages’ by a woman named Poetic Haiku. I sat down in one of the chairs in the library and began to read. “Mating rituals have been around ever since the beginning of time when a male starting courting the female of their species. In the past two or so thousand years it was common for the courting man to offer the bride’s father a dowry as a way to prove the he could provide for her. These ranged from chickens to a whole city in the case of one warlord in Griffon country. This tradition followed until around two hundred years ago. Marriages usually consists as one female to a male, however in the past it would be considered uncommon NOT to see harems of women or multiple women married to a single man due to the harsh conditions and low survival rate of the pre-Equestrian continent across the sea. This continued up until the Sisters came to power a little over a thousand years ago. After that there were what we consider now as ‘traditional marriage’ of one man and one woman, however there were also those of the same sexes coming together as pairs. Most times they were overlooked and not discriminated against (unlike other cultures, see page 372 for more) as the population ratio of males to females in all three races was about equal. However as of recent due to a decline in males being born of a ratio of one male to three females a law was created and passed that allowed a man to have up to three wives; gay couples could still be together as well as lesbians, however there were regulations that they needed to abide by in order to keep those marriages. For the multiple marriages, in order for them to be allowed everyone in the current relationship has to agree that the new ‘addition’ will be of a benefit to the group rather than a hindrance. If the current members of the relationship come to an agreement that the ‘applicant’ would be a hindrance to the group then life would go on as it had before for the group. Traditional marriage is still available and isn’t repressed nor are multiple marriages encouraged. For lesbian couples it is not uncommon for them to be surrogate mothers for gay couples looking to have children or infertile heterosexual couples unable to have children for various reasons. There are no rules or regulations for lesbian couples, however the Crown suggests to not use these marriages for anything other than love. Gay couples have a stipulation that they provide their ‘genetic material’ to sperm banks twice a year so that lesbian couples may have children or males that have infertility issues may still have children with their wife/wives. The goal of the laws put into place by the Royal Sisters is that all may be happy with their lives and sexuality no matter what gender they identify themselves as. “I’m sorry, that took longer than I expected,” Twilight said as she entered her personal library. “What seems to be the… problem…?” she trailed as she looked over to me. “Spitfire, who is this young lady, and why does she have a striking resemblance to your husband?” “That’s probably because I AM her husband,” I flatly replied. “But… but… how?” “That’s what we were hoping that you would be able to tell us,” Spitfire replied. “Well let’s start on what we know,” Twilight said as she started to pace to collect her thoughts. “You left your welcome party last night and you were still male. As far as I am aware, no one slipped anything in anyone’s drinks nor was any gender manipulating magic cast, as my wards and guards would have detected them inside the premises of the castle. Which would mean the cause of your… transformation would have occurred between the time you left and the time you arrived at your hotel.” “That’s the thing though, we don’t know what happened. We were both blackout drunk. All we really remember is exiting the party and once we arrived at our hotel we got intimate,” I stated. Twilight thought for a second before rushing over to her private bookshelves. “I used a spell a few years ago when Discord returned and put my friends under a hypnotic spell that forced them to exhibit the opposite traits that made them the hosts of the Elements of Harmony. I was thinking on using that spell, but that particular one required me to have the same or similar memory to bring back the suppressed ones.” “But you weren’t with us last night when we left,” Spitfire commented. “Exactly. Hopefully by using the spell I used as a cross-reference I can find a similar one that will bring a memory that is being suppressed by the conscious mind out of her… his subconscious memory. We see many things every day, many of them we list as non-important so we forget about them or push them to the backs of our minds. Using this theory, and finding an appropriate spell, we might be able to bring back the memories from last night and use the visual clues to piece together what caused this change to happen.” And so the search for the great memory spell began. With the help of Twilight’s assistant Spike we were able to locate several books that contained spells that affected the mind in one way, shape, or form. We were left alone with Spike as Twilight had to go back and deal with several waiting petitioners for her time. After about an hour of searching Spike found the spell that we were looking for and left to go get Twilight. They returned a few minutes later with Twilight reading the book as she walked, using telekinetic magic no less. That gives me some ideas on how to multitask while using both hands. “So it looks as though that this spell is in fact a variant of the spell that I used on my friends during the first Discord situation. What it does is make a memory that is being focused on more vivid therefore allowing muddled memories to become clear,” Twilight stated. “Just an idea, but can that spell bring back Andrew’s missing memories?” Spitfire asked hopefully. “Unfortunately, no. This requires the one that’s being casted on to focus on the memory that they want to remember more clearly. Like for example here, where we are trying to find out one specific event that swapped Andrew’s gender to… Andrea.” “So if we wanted him to remember everything that happened…?” “He would need to have a sliver of a memory first from the time that’s missing in order for this specific spell to work. I’m sorry,” Twilight said sincerely. “That’s ok, I was just getting my hopes up.” “It’s ok if I don’t remember anything,” I said nonchalantly. “What do you mean?” Spitfire asked with shock displayed. “Well you already told me what happened. I hearing about the other ‘me’ is like listening to an audiobook. I know what happened, but to be honest I don’t want to remember the painful experiences first hand to be honest. By what I read from my charts in the hospital the injuries looked painful to obtain. I don’t want to seem harsh or insensitive, but I know what happened from the time that we met up until I woke up, to be honest that’s all I need.” “That’s sweet. I think,” Twilight commented. “I assume that you wish to attempt the spell now?” We both nodded. “Alright then, one moment.” She leaned out into the hallway, “Warding Anvil? Please let those still in the throne room know that I will resume audiences with me after lunch. Thank you.” She then conjured up a seat like you would see in a stereotypical shrink’s office. “Please lay down and close your eyes,” she said and I obeyed. “Now what I want you to do is focus on last night, specifically the events that occurred after you left my home. Do you have it?” I nodded. “Good. Now I’m going to activate the spell.” All at one I felt a warm flowing sensation on my forehead, like someone put a hot towel on it. “Now what I want you to do is walk us through verbally of the events.” In front of my eyes appeared a nightscape of Ponyville. “Ok, we just left the party. We’re walking down the road. I’m pretty much tripping over myself from intoxication. Now we’re walking down Mane street. I stumble and fall into a flower box and I sneeze when I inhale some of the pollen,” I say. “Wait. Did you say flower box?” Twilight asked worriedly. “Yes.” “What color are they?” “Blue I think. With yellow… whatever they’re called in the center that makes pollen.” “The anther?” “Yeah, that,” I answered. “I got up and we walked for a little while longer before reaching the inn and we called it a night.” I opened my eyes to see Twilight’s face deep into a botany book. “It is as I suspected. Poison Joke,” she said. “You mean the flower that does something different to each individual person that it’s exposed to?” “The same,” Twilight answered as she closed the book and set it on her lap. “You see there’s around an eight hour period where the changes take place on the person exposed, making you think that Poison Joke is like any ordinary flower. It waits until you’re in your sleep cycle before acting and once you wake up you see the changes that it made. In the past the ‘pranks’ played by the plant have usually been small like Pinkie’s temporary lisp or Rarity’s uncontrollable hair.” “Or Rainbow Dash’s hand-eye coordination or sense of balance being off,” Spitfire added. “Exactly. This is the first instance that I know of where there has been a full body transformation.” “So what do we do?” I ask. “Can’t we just use some of that remedy that’s being sold by the spa girls?” “If this were a small change I would say yes, however as this is a complete body change I have no idea if there’ll be unbearable pain or damage to your psyche as you were flooded with testosterone for years and have now been exposed to estrogen. The immediate change that’s caused by the cure could possibly do damage that might be irreversible.” “So I’m stuck like this forever then?” I asked deflated. “I would say that. There is one person that is the expert on all things Everfree and anything that involves natural remedies or odd magics; and she just so happens to be in town today for her herbal restock for the month.” *** The three of us walked down to Sugarcube Corner where we were meeting up with this contact of hers of whom I have a sneaking suspicion of who it is. Twilight sent Spike ahead to find her at the market and to meet us here in one of the party rooms originally suggested by Pinkie for when people want to have a private party and not disrupt the business that the Cakes run. “So uh Twilight, this friend of yours. What’s she like?” I ask. “She can be a bit odd because of where she was born and raised. She tends to talk in rhymes, however she’s been trying to sort of break out of that as of late. Certain words just can’t be rhymed with,” Twilight responded. We walked into the famous sweet stand. There were a few people that pretty much groveled in front of their resident princess, much to her embarrassment. Being courteous we passed by them and entered the private party room where Spike and a mohawk hair styled, dark skinned, Earthborn with tribal tattoos were waiting for us. “Twilight my friend, it is good to see you again,” she said in a sing-song way. “Zecora, it is good to see you too. I’m glad that you were able to meet with us on such short notice,” Twilight responded with a respectful bow that Zecora returned. “Indeed, I am always ready to assist a friend in need,” Zecora replied. So she does rhyme. “Zecora, did Spike tell you why we needed to meet today?” “He did not, it must have slipped from his thoughts.” Twilight gestured to me with her hand. “This woman behind me was exposed to Poison Joke, and I need your advice.” Zecora raised an eyebrow, “I don’t see why you would need my assistance, doesn’t the spa down the street have the treatment you seek?” “There’s one issue with that.” “I wasn’t a woman eight hours ago,” I interrupted. Zecora sat silently, contemplating what to do. “I see,” she replied before pausing again. “Is it a full body transformation?” I nodded, “Even the ‘equipment’ has been swapped too.” “I see.” “Well how long does it take for someone to naturally return to whatever they were before after being exposed?” “I know not,” Zecora replied sadly. “Well could we check medical files? I mean the town hospital has to have some sort of record of Poison Joke exposure,” Spitfire asked. “Maybe, maybe not,” Twilight answered. “The only people that have been exposed to Poison Joke after Zecora gave the antidote to the spa were healed within twenty-four hours after exposure. Before then, no one other than Zecora regularly traveled through the Everfree Forest, and even then she knows to stay away from the flower in question. Everyone else regularly avoided the forest as its nature is uncontrollable and there are no towns on the other side of it.” She tapped her chin in thought, “Both Princess Celestia and Luna lived there for years before their spat.” “And by ‘spat’ you mean the whole ‘Nightmare Moon’ incident?” I asked with a raised eyebrow and air quotes to match. “The same. Perhaps one of them know and would be able to give us some insight. Spike? Take a letter,” she said before dictating. “Ahem, ‘Dear Princess Celestia and/or Luna, depending on who can help with my dilemma’.” She then summarized our current issue and if they ran into any unfortunate victims of the flower back when they ruled inside of the Everfree castle and how they were cured. “‘I would appreciate any assistance you can provide. Sincerely, Your fellow Princess, Twilight Sparkle’.” She then glanced over the letter to make sure she didn’t leave anything out and let Spike send it via dragon fire. “And now we play the waiting game,” I commented out loud, originally intending for it to be a thought. If there’s one thing that annoys the hell out of Spitfire, it’s the thing I do when I get bored: I drum my fingers on the table to some tune that is currently stuck in my head. Today’s song of choice? I am Machine by Three Days Grace. If I was actually looking at her I would be seeing her eye twitch. “ANDREW FOR CELESTIA’S SAKE, KNOCK THAT OFF!” she yelled after finally snapping. “Sorry, sweetheart. You know how I get when I’m bored, especially in a stressful situation,” I replied as my hands remained idle yet quiet. A few minutes passed before a wafting puff of green smoke materialized on the table as a letter. “Well that was quick,” Spitfire commented. “Well she usually is pretty quick when writing her letters, especially when I ask for help on something,” Twilight responded as she opened the letter. “Here we go. ‘Dear Twilight Sparkle. I spoke with my sister and we have indeed heard of such an event. Three years before Luna’s banishment she and I had a particularly heated prank war. One of the pranks that Luna retaliated with involved putting powdered Poison Joke inside of my wine glass during dinner one night. She didn’t notice that I switched the drinks after I saw her pour it in when I had my head “turned”. The next morning’s results were hilarious, she had a full body transformation in which she had not only shrunk down to the size she was at age eight but also had her gender switched. It was interesting having a little brother for a month, which was before Luna then blew Poison Joke pollen in my face and I too was affected by it. We searched for a cure for exposure to this magic influencing flower. The antidote which is found in “Super Naturals” is what our Master Botanist and Royal Doctor came up with. “‘It was able to be given to me almost immediately as the changes that I was afflicted with were primarily cosmetic, with a secondary being that I had a swelled head. Luna though had to have hers administered as a medicinal liquid as she went to sleep so that the gender specific changes happened well after she entered what we now call REM sleep. She was better the next morning and we both swore that we would never use that flower in our prank wars again. I have included on the back of this letter the formula for the orally administered antidote. I hope “Andrea”-’” I groaned at that. “‘-will feel better soon. Your fellow Princess, Celestia’,” Twilight finished and then turned the piece of paper over, reading it. “Well this seems simple enough. With Zecora’s help I should have this done by the time you go to bed tonight.” Zecora took the paper from Twilight’s hands. “Indeed, this looks to be a simple adjustment. But three of these ingredients are found in town, the rest are at my home,” she replied. “Go and grab what you need. I’ll have Spike fetch the rest of the items on the list.” Spike had a slight frown as it seemed like he had other plans for the day. “We’ll meet at my house and complete the potion there.” I cleared my throat. “I’m sure that Spitfire and I could go and get the things on the list from the shops in town,” I stated. “Are you sure? You’re in an unfamiliar body and all,” Twilight asked with concern. “It’s only three items in three different shops. So I’m a girl for a day. What’s the worst that could happen?” I asked with a shrug. It was then I realized what I just said. “And now something’s going to happen,” I muttered. “Well then since you insist.” Twilight then floated over the list. I took the list before it hit the ground and took a look at it. ‘One gallon of pure spring water, twelve rose blooms, and one pound of pure cane sugar.’ I raised an eyebrow, “Ok I can see the water and the sugar, but what’s with the roses?” I asked. “I honestly have no idea, it’s best just to follow the formula.” “Yes, it’s better not to mess with it. We don’t want parts ending up where they shouldn’t,” Spitfire added. With that Twilight teleported Spike and herself away and Zecora left a moment later after gathering her bag. Spitfire started to look me over with a mischievous glint in her eye, which started to give me chills. “Spits, what are you thinking?” I asked nervously. “Oh nothing, just that you’re now younger than me and that you’re like a little sister. There’s always been one thing that I’ve wanted to do with a sister: shopping!” “God, have mercy on my-,” was all I was able to get out before I was yanked out the door by a smiling Spitfire, who for the day considered me a sister. Someone, shoot me now.