//------------------------------//
// Boredom in Room 305! Scrapped Plot Devices Are Finally Used! 
// Story: The Adventures of Derpy, Lyra, and Octavia 
// by IsabellaAmoreSirenix 
//------------------------------//

Octavia sighed for the 23rd time.

The afternoon sun shone jubilantly through the window.  The last few families of bird gave one last tweet goodbye before a pair of pegasi led the south for the oncoming winter.  Inside, the two enchanted wall candles filled the room with a cozy warmth. Derpy laid on her back and braided her hair.  Octavia sighed again.  Number 24.

Lyra made a tick in her notepad. Her research was dull that day.  Besides the tick marks, she had only written three bullet points, leaving a yawning expanse of white staring back at her, which Lyra didn't like at all.  So she was left to stare at nothing else but her boring specimen.  Lyra saw her reading a paperback book, or at least, she was pretending to.  Her glassy violet eyes weren't moving in a straight line down the page, and she hadn't even turned the page in the past five minutes.    

Lyra rolled over in her bed to stretch and get a piece of bubblegum.  She chewed on it thoughtfully as she continued watching, waiting for something, anything to happen.  

Absentmindedly, she reached for her calendar.  Word of the Day: Galvanize.  Verb.  To shock or excite into taking action.

Lyra liked the sound of that, considering her afternoon.  Today's word may have very well been jejune or tepid.

The observer grew impatient, like a child rapping on a glass tank to awaken a fearsome anaconda.  Maybe she should knock on Octavia's head.  Knock knock, who's there?  Clarinet.  Clarinet who?  Laughter.  What's so funny, Octavia would ask crossly.  Your pissed off face.

Lyra smiled.  This idea was getting better all the time.

Before she had the chance to put it into action though, Octavia said, "Alright, call me crazy for even saying this--"

"You're right, Octavia," Lyra butted in, "it'd be crazy to hear a deranged cat strangler talk.  I think there's one more obstinate set of vocal chords in this world that need to be twisted into silence."

Octavia flipped her mane in Lyra's general direction as she continued.  "Perhaps this may be... the weirdest thing--"

"You want the long list or the short one?"

Octavia's eyes narrowed.  "The weirdest thing I've ever said this month--"

"Here we go with the talking part again," Lyra said.  "I've told you--"

"I think we might actually be bored!"

Silence.

A stunned Lyra struggled to keep her mouth from shaking. "You're kidding, right?" she asked, legitimately in amazement.  "You've got to be kidding."

"I know!" Octavia cried.  "I can't believe it either!  I didn't think it was possible for me to be bored anymore!" For a moment, she gazed wistfully into this distance like a soldier recounting his home and family.  "Organization, peace of mind, the last donut... so many things I've dreamed about.  I can hardly remember them now."  

"Where did we go wrong?" Lyra spluttered.  "We've been on a roll for twelve days!"

"I don't know," answered Octavia, hanging her head, "but there's no denying it: we're bored."

A grin spread like the sunrise onto Octavia's face. "And it is a beautiful thing."

Lyra fell to her knees.  "Noooooooooooooo!  What does this mean?"

Then suddenly, the two mares heard a tiny, delicate clearing of the throat.  They swiveled around simultaneously to watch Derpy slowly get to her hooves.  Her expression betrayed no emotion whatsoever as she fixed them with a quiet, steady gaze.

"Ladies and Octy," Derpy said with frightening sobriety, like that of an obituary reading, "in my humble opinion, I see only one possible option in this situation."

Lyra and Octavia leaned forward, hanging onto each word.

"Let's have a party!"





"Wow, Octy, I didn't know speakers could fill up a room!" Derpy exclaimed.

Octavia leaned against the side of the speaker as she tried to catch her breath.  "Vinyl... has things..." she said in between pants, "...in her... dorm room that I... do not know about... nor really want to question."

"Good idea!" Lyra shouted, hopping over the bed to meet the others.  "Come on, let's get this field exper... I mean, party!  Let's get the party started!"  Then she grabbed a record, put it on the turntable in the phonograph, and hooked it up the speakers because magic.

"Why is it not starting?" Derpy asked.

"I don't know," Lyra said, walking around to the output plug.  "Maybe it needs to be 'hoofed up' or something."

"B-But," Octavia spluttered, "it's the year 1003!"

Lyra shrugged before giving the metal box a mighty kick in the side.

Boom!  It tipped over to collapse with a resounding thud.

All three mares hurried around the gaping plot hole where the speakers were slowly sinking, down, down, down into oblivion.

"Great," Octavia said.  "Just great."





"Pst, Octy, it's your line!"

"Oh, it is?" Octavia fumbled with the comic book in front of her.  "Err, what page is it again?"

"Page 12!" Derpy said, muffled under a bucket draped over her head.  "You, the evil Queen Spinach-and-Broccoli, have just captured me.  Now you say..."

"Oh, right! Umm..." Her eyes quickly scanned the page, filled with a mare in a frilly pink dress crying in distress.  "'I have you now, Mira!'" said in a voice just barely more emotive than her standard monotone.  "You'll never escape!"

"Ooh, this is the good part!" Derpy said.  "I get to say my catchphrase!  'You're wrong, Queen Spinach-and-Broccoli, for I am..."

Standing atop their dresser, Lyra dumped a bucket of sparkles on Derpy's head.  "...'Mira Mira, Miracle Meraki!'" Derpy shouted, raising her hooves over the bucket.  "'And in the name of my toy advertisement, I'll punish-- A-A-Achoo!"

With a loud sneeze, Derpy sent sparkles flying into Octavia's face.

Very slowly, as if trying not to disturb a sleeping guard dog, Lyra went back down and pulled the bucket off Derpy's head.  The little pegasus burst into laughter when she saw Octy coated in glitter.  Lyra audibly gulped at the earth pony's glare.

Octavia remained unamused.





"Ooh, I know!" Derpy shouted, scrambling to pull out a pink plastic kit from under the dresser.  "Let's have a makeover!"

It only took Octavia one look.  The makeup kit slid safely back under with the dust bunnies.





"Ma'am, do you know that at the very moment, in your own home, you may be one of the thousands of ponies infested with merry-berry-hornets?"

Octavia pulled the phone out of Lyra's hoof and tossed it into the laundry bin.





"Pizza's here!" Derpy shouted, standing at the door.

"Great, I'm starving!" Lyra yanked open the door to find a young stallion about to fall over from balancing six pizza boxes on his back.

Lyra shook her head.  "The struggles of an earth pony," she said, then laughed.  "Just kidding!  Thanks so much!  Derpy, can you get him his tip?"

"Aye aye!" Derpy answered with an army salute before flying away.

Octavia, suspicion brewing inside her, went to the door in Derpy's place.  "When did we order pizza?" she asked Lyra.

The unicorn shrugged.  "I don't know.  Derpy must have sometime along the way."

"Derpy, did you order the pizzas?" Octavia called.

"Uh-huh!" answered Derpy, searching under the bed for a purse.

Octavia raised an eyebrow.  "Did you already pay for the pizza?"

"Yup!  I sent it by magi-scroll a few minutes ago!"

"Uh-huh.  Are just where did you get the money?"

Derpy tried to lift her head out from under the bed, only to bang it against the railing.  "Owwie..."

"Oh, Derpy!" Lyra cried, leaping into action as she wrapped her forelegs around the pegasus.  "Are you okay, kid?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said before turning back to Octavia.  "I got the money from a purse, silly!"

"Okay, I'm not even going to keep going with this setup.  You got it from my purse, didn't you?"

"Depends," Derpy said, "is yours blue, black, and splotchy?"

"I don't know, kid," Lyra whispered in her ear as she looked up worriedly at the smoke steaming from Octavia's ears, "but your face just might get to find out."





"You know," Derpy said, dazedly staring up at the ceiling fan, "sometimes I wonder if I'm God."

Octavia said, "Lyra, hide the soda."





"Woohoo!" Derpy cheered.  "I won Fillydelphia Avenue!"

"Darn," Lyra mumbled as she placed Derpy's money in the bank. "I would have had a full side, too. Oh well, your roll again."

Derpy rolled a six. "Wow!" she said, nudging her candy cane piece along. "One, two, three, four, five, six!"

There was that little candy cane, defenseless against a wall of blaring red. "Haha, you fell right into my trap!" Lyra said.  "Four crowns; you owe me a twenty!"

"Ooh, congratulations, Lyra!" said Derpy as she gave herself up to bankruptcy.  

"Thanks, kid!" Lyra said. "Now, if you sell me Fillydelphia, you can gain back fifteen."

Just then, Octavia burst out of the closet.  "You play that game with fake money, idiots!"





"Look at me, kid!" said Lyra, strumming a base.  "Do you have any idea how awesome I am right now?"

Derpy clapped at the performance. "That's--" Screech! "--great--" Twang! "--Lyra!" Clash!  Derpy winced and flattened her ears. "Owwie..."

Octavia lay curled in a quivering bundle in the corner.  "I give up," she murmured before passing out.





"Octy! Pst! Octy!"

Octavia rolled over in her bed.  "Yes?" she hissed to the surrounding darkness.

"Are you mad at me still? Derpy asked.

"Probably somewhere deep down.  I feel numb and devoid of life more than anything, honestly."

"Oh."

Silence.

"Goodnight, Octy."

Octavia smiled in the dark.  "Goodnight, Derpy."