//------------------------------// // Dr. Discord M.D. // Story: Suicidal Ideation Is Magic // by Shukawarioserfi //------------------------------// I step forward nervously. I open my mouth to say something but another mare quickly decides to talk over me. "Hi, you must be new. I'm Illumina." She doesn't extend a hoof. I wave awkwardly in another mare's direction. "So... she is Harold?" I ask. Illumina rolls her eyes "No, her name is Holley Shipper. Say hi, Holley." "Harold!" Holley responds in frustration. "Okay." I say awkwardly moving backwards until Holley motions for me to sit in the chair next to her. The environment is much more inviting then I expect, the shelves are lined with books and games. The chairs look plushy and comfortable, except for the fact that they are divided by wooden hoofrests. There's a nurse's office to my left and the rooms down the hallway I assume are the bedrooms. I see a sign above the shelves with the posted rules, one of them saying: "Colts sit on one side, mares on the other." I shrug and decide to ignore it, and for some reason sit next to Holley. "What is your name hot cakes?" replies Holley, awkwardly moving her hooves up my stomach, invading every facet of my personal space. "Um... my name is Monotone." I say, quickly pushing her hooves away. "You're cutie mark is a whole rest. So you're musical?" Holley asks, intrigued. I wish she'd stop staring at my flank. "Actually my cutie mark represents me prefering long periods of silence and rest." I say. "And following notation so to speak." Illumina nods and points to her cutie mark, being an eye. I wonder what her special talent is? I've seen Holley's cutie mark, being two symbols representing masculinity, I'd rather not know what her special talent is. Needless to say, they're not the only ponies in the room. I see five other mares, and two more colts. They are mostly preoccupied with games or getting their blood pressure taken. At this point, a nurse walks in. Not Nurse Redheart, but a new one. Immediately her eyes glue on me. "Colts sit on that thare side." she says sternly, pointing to the chairs on the other side of the room. I obey and move, if only just to get away from having to sit next to Holley. I stare at Holley from across the room, with a fake apologetic look on my face and mouth 'I'm Sorry'. "Another new'un I suppose." The nurse says. "I'm Sunny Dew Melon, pleasure to meach y'all." The nurse has a yellow coat with a purple and green striped mane and brown eyes. I am laughing internally at her accent. "Anyway it's time for dinner." she says, leading us on. I am certainly not looking forward to having to eat hospital cafeteria food for awhile. I follow, I'm starving per usual. An orange colt with glasses and a muffin-cut red mane with a facial expression I can't quite explain, looks at me. "Don't let dinner get you down, their breakfast is so much better." He says, I nod in understanding. The hallway on the way to the cafeteria is littered with doctors offices, reminding me that I am in a hospital. As we go into the cafeteria, I see what we're supposed to be eating. Soup I think? Something liquid. Luckily there's fruit on the side so I just grab a few apples, oranges, and bananas, with some milk. I'm hoping that will tie me over until breakfast tomorrow. I sit down next to the colt that talked to me in the hallway earlier. "I'm Monotone." I tell him. He says nothing. Although, I just realize I'm sitting across from Holley. "So does anyone like Fitz and the Turtz?" Holley says, her mouth full of salad. I shake my head no. "They're distasteful." "YOU'RE DISTASTEFUL!" Holley says, spitting a healthy dose of side salad in my face. I wipe my face clean, more annoyed then angry. Just then the colt chimes in. "She does it to everypony." He says. "I'm Otani Knish. Mind if I ask what you're in for?" "It really was just a misunderstanding. A little depression is all." "Well, I'm in for threatening to kill my mother." This is the first time I've seen Otani smile. "But I didn't yet obviously." His smile fades. "I still have ideations though." "Yeah." I bite into my apple and look across the table to the other ponies. A number of them seem rather shy. They need somepony in their life to care about them, just like me. Nurse Sunny Dew Melon sits far across our lunch table with her hooves crossed, staring at the clock. "We have to watch what we say, the nurse is watching." "Somepony is ALWAYS watching." Illumina says as she leans over across the table with one eye closed and the other wide open, fixated on me. "To be careful of what you say is to not be yourself." I nod in agreeance at this. Just then Sunny Dew Melon stands tall out of her seat. "Wrap it up, it's time to go." She says. My mouth is stuffed full of bananas at this point, and Holley is laughing uncontrollably, possibly thinking immaturely about there being so many bananas in my mouth. I chew and swallow, then walk over to put my tray away. I might be in a daze of some sort, because before I know it everypony is already walking out of the cafeteria. "Wait for me!" I say as my hooves pick up the pace to stay with the others. We move past the room where we were in earlier, I have no idea where our group is going, my hooves are already blistered. I'm not used to running. I'm breathing hard and my vision is blurred, I feel like I'm going to pass out. Just then my eyes focus on a large door everypony is running through. "Hey! Save the energy for gym!" A mare yells. I walk in with the others. "What?" A hoofball quickly goes flying at me and hits me in my face. I shake off the stars and try to see who it was that threw the ball at me. I see a brown mare giggling like a foal. She has a white mane, quite beautiful in my opinion, and big gray eyes. "Come play with us." She says. Next to her is another mare, yellow with a turquoise short curled mane, hazel eyes, and glasses. "Okay." I say. I pick up the hoofball and it goes flying at the yellow mare, she extends her hooves and catches the ball. Considering ponies normal anatomy, hoofball is quite difficult, especially catching. Must be beginners luck. "I'm Penny Rye." She says, avoiding eye contact, and throws the ball well over my head. "And I'm Bird Droppings." The white mare says. "I eat you for breakfast." She giggles. "I'm Monotone." I say with my back turned, going to pick up the ball, I realign and throw it well, Bird Droppings catches it with her teeth. Doubley impressive. She clamps down on her teeth and pops the hoofball. Not impressive. She spits out the deflated ball. "Close enough." She says laughing. Just then I hear a whistle. "TIME!" A nurse yells. Damn, tight ship I suppose. We all put down our balls and follow her out, begrudgingly. At least we get some time to release our energy. "We normally go to gym two times a day, once in the morning and once in the evening." Otani says. "So if you felt like you didn't get enough time, that's why." I personally didn't care for spending more time in the gym. I really would prefer to be alone, but apparently that's not an option here. I nod and sigh, hoping we can soon spend time in our own rooms. Come to think of it, I don't think I've even seen mine yet. I'm tired of constantly having to follow the nurses across the hospital. I've been following authority my whole life and frankly, I'm sick of it. Just as she unlocks the door to the main room I ask. "When do I get to see my room." The nurse Sunny Dew Melon gives an irritated scowl. "Y'all get 30 minutes alone time in your rooms after gym. S'now." I smile internally, as I assume smiling externally would be dangerous. Maybe that would imply that I'm eager to masturbate or something. A different nurse comes over to greet me. Not a pony, a draconequus. I almost give a frightened yelp, but I manage to keep my composure. "So, before you see your room. I'll be your psychiatrist today." The draconequus speaks. "Dr. Discord." He gives a maniacal smile that confuses and scares me at the same time. He doesn't even bother to allow me to walk to his office and uses magic to levitate me there. He finally puts me down in a medical chair in his office. "I have legs." I protest. "Sometimes it's nice just to not have to walk every once in awhile." says Dr. Discord. "You should be thanking me." "So when can I go to my room." I say. I'd rather not have to deal with doctors right now. Discord chuckles. "After your treatment. Hey, don't think I'm enjoying this either. I'd much rather be causing chaos then dealing with mentally sick teens." He says, clutching a syringe, with a big needle. I cringe. "Oh, don't worry this isn't for you. It's for one of my other patients. The resistant ones. The ones that aren't affected by my magic after several appointments." Discord puts down the needle. "Are you going to cure me with magic?" I say, raising an eyebrow. "Not necessarily 'cure' you." he rambles. "Just change your mental attitude and make you slowly more susceptible to suggestion..." Discord's face lights up as he nervously changes the tone in his voice. "I mean happiness." Then he mumbles something inaudibly under his breath. "I assure you I am fine and I don't need treatment." I protest. Discord growls. "Shut up and look into my eyes." He quickly turns his face to me and his eyes change. Just when I feel like questioning what he's doing I start to feel different. Lighter actually. Like a huge weight has been lifted from my mind. I feel empty. "Now." He snaps. "You feel exhilaratingly happy. You always want to be around ponies. You feel good. You find it so much easier to focus on the positives. You don't need to think about hurting yourself or other ponies. You only feel content and happy." He continues to stare at me and repeats the next set of words more softly in a whisper as he starts to smile. "And whenever you hear me, and only me snap my fingers you will obey me. Understood." All I can do is nod as his words sink directly into my subconscious. I can't avoid the suggestions. I will feel good. Now I won't want to be alone much anymore. I only want to serve Discord and be happy. Just like that he brings me out of it. And I remember nothing. "Can we get this over with already. I want to hang out with my friends." That was odd, I thought I wanted to be alone. Dr. Discord gives a flat expression as he turns to me. "It's over. You're done. Run along now, I don't want to spend any more time with you then I have to. Go." He snaps, and before I can protest I find my legs running out of the room. That was odd, but I don't think much of it. Everyone is out of their rooms. It looks like alone time is over, but how? I only spent two minutes with Dr. Discord. I shake my head in frustration, but the rejoice in the fact that I get to hang out with the other ponies. Weird. I skip and smile, humming on my way to greet the others. Bird Droppings smiles and yells. "Uno!" I see a plethora of cards on the floor along with Penny Rye, and another mare that I haven't really noticed until now. "So." I say. "Can I join in the fun." I'm smiling politely. Why am I smiling like this? "Sure." Bird Droppings says, being her usual giggly self. "Come sit next to Lithia, Mono." "I feel like I am familiar with this game, I used to play it with my younger brother Begging Jolt." I say. Surprisingly, Uno was actually one of my old favorites. Great game! I turn to the new pony I'm sitting next to. She's colored an obsidian gray with a dull red mane. "I'm Monotone." I say, smiling. "Lithia Sault." She says, immediately shaking my hoof very rapidly. Leaving me a bit shaken. "So who's turn is it to reshuffle?" I say smirking at the audience. "Fine." Bird Droppings gives a sarcastic sigh quickly followed by laughter as she reshuffles the deck. I quickly end up with 7 cards. 5 of them are wild, it's so easy for me to give a poker face, mostly because it's just my face, but I quickly burst into uncontrollable laughter. "I have better cards then you." I say, giving a sly slur. "Bullshit." Lithia Sault says. "You go first then." The card game goes on for awhile, as they often do. Eventually me and Penny Rye both end up with 2 cards, Lithia has 11 and Bird Droppings has... 24. It's my turn. "Hey Bird Shit, I know something funnier than 24." I say. Bird Droppings shakes her head innocently. "What is it?" "Uno!" I yell. Lithia groans, but technically it's not over yet. Everypony gangs up on me and puts down wild cards, making me draw several cards at once. I squeal nervously as Penny Rye puts down her last card... and wins. I look up at the clock. They make us go to bed at 8:00 I've been told, which is ridiculous. It's 7:59. "Well congratulations Penny." I say, always a good sport about these things, most of the time. Penny Rye smiles and blushes. She's totally into me. "Bed, dirt follies." Sunny Dew Melon clears her throat, altering the tone of her voice. "I mean bedtime children." I giddily follow her to my room, which oddly enough I still haven't seen yet. It's gray, too gray. The bed looks like a rock and there's a bathroom stall inside. At least there's a window, with the outstanding views that the first floor of an adolescent psychiatric facility can provide. This would normally make me upset, I do find myself fighting back tears as I say. "It's perfect." I'm happy to have somewhere to sleep and to be alive. Wait, what? After the nurse closes the door I sing myself to sleep, I love to sing but I hold it back from fear of what other ponies will think of my voice. Enough of that. Time to drift off into sleep... I look forward to what tomorrow brings.