Kratos stared out from the battlements of Attica at the approaching Persian army, sailing inexorably towards the city the Gods had charged him to defend. Seeing their position, he shifted his glance to the force under his command. The defending soldiers did not have Spartan training, and probably weren't to be relied on for very much. The only one with any training in that regard was Pinkie Pie. His eyes trailed to the pink pony as his thoughts turned to her.
She had started a modified form of Spartan Training a few years back, and had progressed rapidly. Despite the training, though, there was no visible sign she had undergone any training...unless one looked very closely. She bounced around happily just as she had before, but a close inspection revealed that her muscles bulged like cord with every bounce, hard as stone. She carried no visible weapons or armor, as she tended to pull whatever she needed in a given situation out of her mane just before striking with it, and armor only slowed her down. She had tried to explain her ability to pull things out of her mane the first time he saw her do it, until she saw he required no explanation. With all the other magical creatures and their dangerous - and often frightening - abilities, a talking pink pony with a Mane of Holding wasn't even worth batting an eye about...especially when she provided free cupcakes.
Pinkie Pie had been the only relief he'd had these many years from the nightmares of his past sins. They still haunted him, but each time they drove him towards dark depression, Pinkie would be there. She'd show her skill in what she'd been trained, or do something silly, or say something obscure yet profound...and he'd find hope. He knew he had failed his countrymen, his wife, his daughter Calliope...he refused to fail Pinkie. Dedicating himself to that gave him the strength to fight with his all against the darkness that roiled inside him. ...he never did figure out why she - and he - glowed blue with each surge of hope.
Hearing the screams of his soldiers, he snapped back to the moment. A giant fireball - launched from one of the Persian ships - was coming straight towards their position. He started to leap back, but froze as he saw Pinkie leap towards the fireball. "Pinkie!" he yelled in concern and fear.
As she flew through the air, Pinkie reached into her mane and drew forth what he could only describe as a curiously configured ax, though like no such weapon he'd ever seen. She then twirled it over her head, calling forth a most unusual battle cry.
"Furi Kuli Kuri Kala!"
With that shout, she swung the ax over her shoulder, gripping it with both forehooves, and then swung it forward to strike the fireball with the flat of her ax. There was a loud thock sound, and the fireball promptly reversed its parabolic trajectory to fly back to the ship that had launched it, causing the ship to explode.
As Pinkie Pie landed lightly on the battlements, Kratos - and the soldiers - stared at her in confusion and awe. Finally, one of the soldiers voiced an inquiry. "What...?"
"Don't ask," Pinkie said quickly, stuffing the ax back into her mane. "Not even Furi Kuri knows what Furi Kuri is."
Kratos, having long decided that a lot of things about Pinkie Pie didn't warrant questioning, decided to instead focus on the approach of the Persian soldiers. "Form ranks!" he bellowed, putting a bit of steel into the soldiers' backbones.
He continued to guide the men under his command in the defense of the position, working with them and Pinkie to repel all assault. When the enemy soldiers ceased approaching, he left the squad there to guard the position as he began to move towards the assault point of the main force.
Pinkie bounced along beside him. "Yay!" she said happily. "The adventure's starting! This is going to be so much fun!"
Kratos couldn't help but chuckle at Pinkie's antics, although he did wince a little when she leapt from the battlements to the ground below, crushing a Persian soldier beneath her. He knew this to be yet another demonstration of her ability to defy natural law at a whim, as just the day before the siege began she had made the same leap into his arms and landed as light as a feather.
Their merriment was interrupted as they came under attack by a large Cyclops...which promptly got eaten by a larger monstrosity. As Kratos prepared for battle, he noticed Pinkie making mystical seeming motions. "Pinkie, what are you doing?"
"I'm trying to cast 'Summon Bigger Fish'!" she called back. "There's always the bigger fish to eat this one!"
"...it's not a fish," Kratos pointed out.
Pinkie blinked for a bit. "So does that mean we eat it?"
"We kill it first."
Grinning eagerly, Pinkie pulled out a pair of knives. The two warriors fought against the monstrosity, though when it started spitting fireballs, Pinkie switched her knives out for the strange ax, smacking the fireballs back at the creature. After a time, Kratos seized an opportunity to smash the creature over the muzzle with the weapon discarded by the consumed Cyclops, gouging out its left eye and causing it to flee.
"Yay!" Pinkie cried happily as she raced after it. "Platforming!"
Kratos only shook his head, racing after her. She was right that the creature, whatever it may be, was the priority for the two of them when it came to defending the city. Humans could fight humans. It took Spartans to kill monsters.
The two of them made their way through the city in pursuit of the beast. They encountered numerous Persian soldiers and archers on the way, but their training wasn't their only advantage against their foes. Many frequently spent as much as five seconds staring slackjawed at Pinkie Pie as she approached, having never seen anything like her before. That time tended to prove fatal, as she or Kratos used that time to approach and slay them. Pinkie's preferred method of killing her human opponents was effective, if unsettling to Kratos. Given their human opponents were exclusively male, her perfected tactic was to drive one knife into their crotch, and then slit their throats when they bent over in agony. The most disconcerting thing about it - to their opponents at least - was the fact that she never stopped grinning and giggling as she did so. What was confusing to Kratos was when she babbled about getting 'kill bonuses'.
However, Kratos had to admit having the both of them working together simplified the manipulation of the various devices needed to open the paths forward. During those 'puzzle segments' as Pinkie called them, one of them would manipulate the device while the other killed the enemy troops that invariably attempted to swarm them under while their hands were tied. And Pinkie was especially helpful when a switch or crank had to be held to keep a door open. The way she was able to zip over to him almost unnoticeably once he was through the door sometimes made Kratos think she had Orkos' ability to be in two places at once.
Before long, they encountered a much larger Persian taunting several civilians on the other side of a locked gate. Pinkie giggled. "Ooh...cutscene!"
Rolling his eyes, Kratos strode forward. "What evil have you wrought on this city, Persian?" he demanded.
The Persian turned. "Evil?" he demanded. "It is not evil that I bring, Spartan. I bring the might of Persia, and the sacrament of purification."
"I'm pretty sure setting things on fire for fun counts as evil," Pinkie said, tossing something white and fluffy out of a red and white container into her mouth.
"As we speak," the Persian continued, ignoring Pinkie for the moment, "my basilisk cleanses this land-"
"Oh, so that's what it's called!" Pinkie proclaimed with a broad smile.
"I'm trying to make a speech here!" the Persian complained.
"And I'm trying to be a distraction," Pinkie countered. "Guess who's succeeding?"
"Wait, what?" The Persian spun around, only to find the chains of Kratos blades wrapped around his throat and those of his men.
"I bring a message from Olympus!" Kratos proclaimed. "You and your sacrament are unwelcome here! Die!" With that, the chains glowed red hot as he sheared through all three throats.
As the large Persian fell, a firey spirit flowed from his corpse and into Kratos. He felt the power of the Efreet bind to his will.
Pinkie bounced happily over to him. "So, now we go kill that basilisk thingy, right?"
Kratos nodded. "Indeed," he said, flexing his arm and feeling the Efreet flex within him.